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Goodbye Jesus

Classic What I Did Today To Jehovah Witness's


Leaf

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This time I was in the tub taking a bath..they knocked 3 freaking times...I know these people becasue last tiem I was too nice to them and they thought I was interested.....Anyway it was 2 women in their 30's. I answed the door buck naked soke and wet.

They said '''Ohh sorry and left!!!! Works great..

Next time they come around I'll pop a woody!

Others tell me some of your ways of chasing away Mormons or Jehovahs?

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I've never actually been home when the JW's come knocking, but I always know they've been because they leave one of their tracts in my door. In the door, not the mailbox attached to the house right next to the door, but in the freaking door so that when I open it the tract floats to the ground forcing me to actually pick it up to see what it is.

 

In a previous city though, I had the pleasure of running off two young and hot Mormon girls who came knocking. I had made a pot of coffee to wake up that Saturday, but had only been up about 15 or 20 minutes, so when they knocked, I simply answered the door in my BVDs prominently showing what I've got. Loved the deep shade of red their faces became as they looked before they left. :wicked:

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Mormon girls? They are sending out their girls now to?

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Mormon girls? They are sending out their girls now to?

 

I live in the Washington, D.C. suburbs of Maryland and a large Moron temple is located nearby, in Kensington, so I often see them out seeking recruits in public places where there are large number of people, such as at subway stations. I noticed that the male "missonaries" always approach women and their female counterparts approach men. I guess they're trying to capitalize on their "sex appeal," but, truthfully, they don't offer very effective bait.

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I had an EX GF that answered the door for some mormons. She said, "I am mormon too......The more-men the better". I could not believe what I heard but they turned and left pretty fast.

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The mormon lads we get in the area of the uk where I live all seem really hot! I,d love them to stop me and have a chat :wicked: I,d have a good hour of eye candy at least, if nothing else.

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Mormon girls? They are sending out their girls now to?

 

Aye, they've been sending out "sister missionaries" for at least the last 20 years. It's been common enough from as early as I can remember.

 

I guess they're trying to capitalize on their "sex appeal," but, truthfully, they don't offer very effective bait.

 

Come to Utah. Ignore the politics, religion and stupidity and just look at the people.

 

You'll have to roll up your tongue and clamp your jaw back into place when you leave. It's really a crime how many absolutely gorgeous women (and, though I can't speak to this from my own experience, apparently men too) are Mormons.

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You'll have to roll up your tongue and clamp your jaw back into place when you leave. It's really a crime how many absolutely gorgeous women (and, though I can't speak to this from my own experience, apparently men too) are Mormons.

 

My college was across the street from a huge mormon temple, and I ended up being friends with a lot of mormons in school. They even invited me to a few of their youth dances (they never did try to push me to convert, so I was ok with going).

 

OMG...I could not BELIEVE how many gorgeous young men and women were at those dances. All looking like they just walked out of magazines. What is it about mormons taking all the cute people?! It was like being stuck in a candy store without any money! :Doh:

 

I quit going to those dances because I couldn't measure up and I never got asked to dance. I always ended up having to go home and take coooooooold showers.

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Now imagine growing up in that candy store.

 

Seriously, if there's one thing Utah has taught me, it's that Hell is real; and it's being smack in the middle of countless hordes of lethally beautiful and untouchable women.

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Well, I was in Knoxville at the time, and there was a temple just a couple of miles from my apartment complex.

 

Nothing was better than the looks on those girls faces. And did I mention they were hot, and when I say hot, I mean the figurative furnace of hell hot.

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If one of the 30 yr old women wanted to get it on..I would have to fall to temtation..These 2 JW's were not bad for 30 year olds...I actually kind of like having 2 women knock on my door..beat fucking Jesus "behold I stand and knock on your door" Next time I get door to door women evangilist I'll sucduce them and try to land them in my bed....Hey maybe I'll even play interested :-)

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You'll have to roll up your tongue and clamp your jaw back into place when you leave. It's really a crime how many absolutely gorgeous women (and, though I can't speak to this from my own experience, apparently men too) are Mormons.

 

Not alot of Mormons around me, but when I was 14 I was in love with Donny Osmond. I even begged my mom to go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat here in Chicago. (It's what actually inspired me to read the OT and see the problems in it) But when we got there, there was a note saying he was 'sick' and won't be performing. I was so devestated..... *cries*

 

Lol, anyway, the JW's came to my door just a couple of weeks ago. I peeked out the window and yelled "I have a religion, thanks" and went on with my life. I ignore them and they leave, it's so simple but works for me.

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That is indeed a classic story I couldn't stop laughing. :lmao::lmao:

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Now imagine growing up in that candy store.

 

Seriously, if there's one thing Utah has taught me, it's that Hell is real; and it's being smack in the middle of countless hordes of lethally beautiful and untouchable women.

 

couldn't you get any to come over to the dark side??

 

Its warm and there's alcohol.......

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This time I was in the tub taking a bath..they knocked 3 freaking times...I know these people because last time I was too nice to them and they thought I was interested.....Anyway it was 2 women in their 30's. I answered the door buck naked soke and wet.

They said '''Ohh sorry and left!!!! Works great..

Next time they come around I'll pop a woody!

Others tell me some of your ways of chasing away Mormons or Jehovahs?

Several years ago I did the same thing. I was working in an after hours club and arriving home at 6 AM, then awakened by the JWs at around 9. After telling them at least twice to never knock before noon, I went the door naked :moon: I pretended to be half asleep and invited them in. As they often do, they had a small child with them. They covered the kid's eyes, apologized and sped away never to return.

 

Here's another story about the Mormon boys. I have the emblem below on my front door:

post-1592-1165427138.jpg

When a pair of Mormon missionaries came to the door anyway, I pointed to the sign and said "I guess you thought this only applied to heterosexual couples." They replied "You don't understand, we're Mormon missionaries." I said, "Well then I guess you thought this only applied to heterosexual Mormon missionary couples." They left looking rather embarrassed.

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  • 4 weeks later...

JW's can be a pain in the ass. They always come knocking when you least want them too, particularly early in the morning. I seriously doubt that me opening the door in the nude would scare them off... I normally do not bother to open the door, I just tell them to go away and that I'm not interested. But on occasion I open the door thinking it's UPS, one time I happened to be wearing a black silk robe so not letting the opportunity pass by, I told them they were just in time for my Satanic Ritual. They left. The best story is when I had just got back from hunting and was cleaning a deer I killed and the JW's came knocking at the door, needless to say when I answered the door covered in blood, it scared the crap out of them. I invited them in for dinner, but they took off running.

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This time I was in the tub taking a bath..they knocked 3 freaking times...I know these people becasue last tiem I was too nice to them and they thought I was interested.....Anyway it was 2 women in their 30's. I answed the door buck naked soke and wet.

They said '''Ohh sorry and left!!!! Works great..

 

Gee, Leaf, I thought you said that women like that would fall in love with you on the spot. The way you were talking, I'd had thought you'd have had a threesome with them. They MUST have been Lesbians :lol:

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This time I was in the tub taking a bath..they knocked 3 freaking times...I know these people becasue last tiem I was too nice to them and they thought I was interested.....Anyway it was 2 women in their 30's. I answed the door buck naked soke and wet.

They said '''Ohh sorry and left!!!! Works great..

 

Gee, Leaf, I thought you said that women like that would fall in love with you on the spot. The way you were talking, I'd had thought you'd have had a threesome with them. They MUST have been Lesbians :lol:

 

ROTFLOL! :HaHa:

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In Australia, The JWs and Mormons are not popular, also we are not plagued by Chistianity like the USA.

THe last time, about 10 years ago, the JWs dared to knock on my door. I smiled and said: "I have something for you". I gave them some printed copies of a letter addressed to all concerned and the Church Elders threatening that action would be taken if any members of their "organization" called on me again. It has worked like a charm.

 

:wicked:

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Gee, Leaf, I thought you said that women like that would fall in love with you on the spot. The way you were talking, I'd had thought you'd have had a threesome with them. They MUST have been Lesbians

Look retard read my fucking post :loser: ! i never said that..Where's my god damn "ignore user button?"

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