Pleasuring Yourself Is Bad

[Metroplex]

Why is pleasuring yourself so bad???

Seems to me that christians want to completely pretend that they are asexual beings devoid of any sexual desires and needs.

And because of this they fail miserably and thus can't get over their 'sin' of masturbating, case in point:

 

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http://www.xxxchurch.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=1748

 

Every day, it's the same routine. Wake up, brush my teeth, eat some oatmeal, come into a tissue. Eat lunch, watch TV, come in a sock. Eat dinner, catch a movie, come out the window. 3-6 times a day, I can't just stop spilling my sin seed all over the gosh darn place...

 

 

**Edited By Admin**

 

Whoever it is, I just can't stop! I feel like the devil every night ( devil for comparison)

 

Help me, religious porn site number 1!

 

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I mean what is so wrong about feeling some pleasure in your life?

[Leaf]

http://www.libchrist.com/

Read this site. This is a liberated Christian site..

that are open on sexual issues and state is like it is.

Very good info.

On Masterbation. All men do it and regular. If they say they don't they lie!

[Metroplex]

On a side note, why do women feel it is OK to pry into your life and spy and destroy things they consider 'bad'? Read this post and tell me what you think, were the women involved justified?

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http://www.xxxchurch.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=232

 

I am in desparate need of advice. My brother is 24 years old. He has been dealing with porn for at least 3 years that i know of. He was actually kicked out of our house at one point, because my father was tired of having it in the house. We thought he cleaned up his act and got over the addiction and he came back to our house after a putting up with a terrible living condition for months.

 

Earlier this year he moved out on his own. A few weeks later i went to his house, He wasn't there but numerous magazines and a blow-up doll were. I did not say anything i just simply threw all of the stuff away.

 

About a month later. My cousin (who is going through struggles of his own) was over at my house. And i stopped by after they had fallen asleep. I moved some clothes on the couch to sit down and there was a DVD laying there.

 

The NEXT day. I got a call from my brother's boss (who is also a good friend of mine) asking if i had heard from my brother. I told him i hadn't and we both called him numerous times. He was supposed to be at work three hours ago. I actually left my work to go looking for him. I got to his house seconds after he had left only to find that a DVD was in his DVD player. And he had fallen asleep watching porn and over slept THREE hours for work.

 

I stole his DVD player, destroyed the DVD and confronted him about it and told our pastor. A week later his girl friend of 5 years asks me what i know about his problem because she had logged into his email and found hundreds of title's that were waiting to be sent from an online subscribtion.

 

This was 3 months ago. Since then she has broken up with him and gotten back together. He has (at least i thought) since then been much better.

 

I speant the night at his house again. And i was looking for something i thought i left there and came across about a half a dozen more magazines under his couch. that were not there last week. If his girl-friend finds out, i am sure it is over. If my pastor finds out i am sure he will almost never have a ministry at our church again. Not to mention i am afraid of his walk with the LORD.

 

Praise the lord i have never let this addiction come into my life. I know it is an addiction. And i know it is tough to get over. He has been seeing someone (supposedly) for help. But i just know other people are going to find out about this and it is going to be devasting to him and every one who loves him.

 

Please PRAY and any advice on what i can do is also helpful.

 

Thank you and may god bless you all.

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Nosey women should be shot, we men don't open your handbag and check what you have nor do we throw out your useless collextion of Hello Kitty videos just because we think its crap.

 

p.s. If his porn use interrupts his life then he needs help, but seeing porn in and of itsself is ok in my view, post lots of comments!

[Ex-COG]

Is she acting like this because she's a woman, or because she's a Christian? I (a woman) wouldn't dream of doing things like throwing away someone's magazines and blow-up doll, stealing their DVD player, destroying DVD's, etc. This guy needs to take his sister to court for stealing and destruction of property! I do agree with your opinion, in that if porn is interfering with living his life, he needs help. His sister is definitely not the one to fill this roll, however.

 

Oh, and there is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself. Evangelical Christians just have a hard time with it because anything other than sex between a hubby and wife is SIN!!!!

[Clearview]

I see nothing that indicates that the person who made the post is a female. As a matter of fact, this: "Praise the lord i have never let this addiction come into my life." kinda makes me think that the poster is a man as well.

[Ex-COG]

I see nothing that indicates that the person who made the post is a female. As a matter of fact, this: "Praise the lord i have never let this addiction come into my life." kinda makes me think that the poster is a man as well.

Hmmm, that's right.

[Guest ConservativePessimist]

I think it's old testament stuff about not wasting what makes kids or something, I'm not sure though.

[sanaslove]

The naivete of those threads was overwhelming.

 

I don't know why the fundies are so against it. (I went to a Catholic/Liberal grammar school and they told us it wasn't a sin) But I think alot of those people have issues and I almost feel sorry for them. I don't believe "Thou shalt not wacketh" is in there, as a teenager I looked . Why they think it's sinful? The only reason I can come up with is that the potential life is wasted. But of course that is silly, men have plenty of um.. 'stuff' available. But if it's for that reason, then oral pleasure should be a sin as well. Once again they pick and choose what they are comfortable with, and force it on others.

 

Now speaking as a woman, I personally don't care if my husband looks at it. Men are very visual creatures and it's in their nature to look. Even if we do something as innocent as food shopping, if a woman walks by fully clothed but has a huge rack, he looks, hell even I look lol. Some woman might get offended by porn/masturbation because then they think they are not good or attractive enough. It probably comes down to self esteem issues mostly.

 

If it starts to make someone miss work, well that might be a problem. But that is for anything really, not just masturbation. I once knew someone who took 2 days off work to finish FF8 before returning it to the store!

[Lycorth]

Genesis 38:10, Leviticus 15:16-18, 32-33; 22:4, and Deuteronomy 23:10-11 seem to be the OT verses Xians against masturbation cite the most. They seem to be plainly anti-masturbation.

 

Give a Xian a Babblical reason to hate something, and watch the venom spew. "Religion of peace and love" my ass.

[Dave]

On a side note, why do women feel it is OK to pry into your life and spy and destroy things they consider 'bad'? .....

They don't. You just need to pick better women to hang around with.

[white_raven23]

On a side note, why do women feel it is OK to pry into your life and spy and destroy things they consider 'bad'? .....

They don't. You just need to pick better women to hang around with.

 

Hear Hear! Don't generalize that shit to the rest of us.

 

If some guy decided he felt threatened by my sexy stuff and tried to throw it out, I'd throw HIM out!

 

1. I don't need to have my emotions validated by someone who is that pathetically insecure.

2. That stuff costs money! MY money! Some guys wants to throw shit away, he can throw his OWN shit away. No one has any business discarding stuff that doesn't belong to them. If they don't respect your property, how much can they really respect you?

 

And how much can you really expect them to respect you if they throw out 500+ bucks worth of your stuff, and you really don't do anything about it? You don't have to kick her ass, but you can show the bitch the door!

[ChristiaNazi]

I see nothing that indicates that the person who made the post is a female. As a matter of fact, this: "Praise the lord i have never let this addiction come into my life." kinda makes me think that the poster is a man as well.

Yes, obviously male. Women don't shoot their seed out the window.

[LosingMyReligion]

But if Masturbation is "sinful" then so is scratching your nose...You kill millions of cells everyday just scratching your nose bridge...

 

On that note I was watching this thing on TBN and a pastor had a porno looking bed onstage, and he was preaching about the sanctity of sex within marraige...

 

He basically told everyone that if they are not a virgin on their wedding night then they are damaged goods...He put a special emphasis on women and masturbation...

 

It was a good laugh to say the least.

[Jella]

I remember when I first started whackin... I had a picture of Jesus above my bed, you know the one where he looks so handsome, anyway.... I had to take the pic down because I didn't want him to see me.

 

Masturbation is a needed behavior I've found, and over the years without a partner I would have never made it. Men are visual so porn is a part of alot of men's experience.

 

I'm pretty much of the belief the almost anything goes, but moderation is the key.

 

As for woman and porn, the blog I use to hang around alot was prodominately women, and this subject came up a couple times. The majority of the gals that were married, or is a relationship did find porn offensive. These of course were 20 and 30 something gals, usually the older they got the less it was a big deal. I tend to believe it had more to do with them and there self image than the actual porn. I don't know if that is in any way an indication of how women feel in general, but that was my particular observation on that one site.

[Kurari]

On a side note, why do women feel it is OK to pry into your life and spy and destroy things they consider 'bad'? Read this post and tell me what you think, were the women involved justified?

 

I agree with Dave, women don't feel it's ok to pry into people's lives, the victim needs to find better people to hang around with. These particular individuals (man or woman) need a swift sock to the face and a n itemized bill to pay back every red cent for the stuff they destroyed. Hell would have no fury like mine if someone touched my porn stash.

 

It's a common theme throughout many religions that peace is attained through perfect control over all the senses and desires, especially the basic ones. The theory is you will achieve deep levels of personal peace and be able to spread it to others if you are not nagged by cravings for indulgence in rich foods, beverages, or sex. If you can be content with the basics for simple foods, water, and air, you will be able to feel God and heaven while still on earth.

 

Since sex is an urge but not required for survival of anything other than the species, it's reasoned that you can cut it out completely.

[Trancelation]

Ahh, masturbation. There is nary a subject around which so much mythology is situated. I remember one particular myth from my area, that if you masturbated too much, hair would grow on your palms. My friends would sometimes go back and forthaccusing each other as individuals that masturbated too much, each of them in turn trying to locate the hairs on each others' palms. Poor little rational me demanded evidence: a microscopic sample, dye that would make the hair stand out. Something. Of course there was never anything to show such a thing. And I think such behavior is indiciative of the natural urge to masturbate along with the social notions that make it a taboo conflicting within the individual: if you can show it in someone else, then they can justify it, and you can empathize with them, and that makes it okay.

 

Of course masturbation is a healthy behavior, but some Christians have no intention of listening to this. They'd much rather repress their sexuality and eventually molest a 12-year old girl or boy. One example I've tried to use to show that masturbation is indeed a function in which we are supposed to behave in is, is the example of wet dreams. Like when we hold urine in for too long, our body will eventually expunge the material itself, because the retention of it is toxic. My dear Christian friends, however, counter with the argument that cum, if held in, is not deadly like urine. Ahh, but what about the scientific evidence that not ejaculating enough can retain cancerous cells that can lead to testicular cancer? Well, they counter, the studies only say that it's POSSIBLE, not that it's completely true; it's not hard enough science for them. Not hard enough science, I say? So you want hard evidence to back up my claim, I ask? Yes, they say.

 

Ironic, idn't it?

 

Christianity is cut and paste religion. When not a smorgasbord of stolen Jewish and Pagan beliefs claiming to be the Real Deal of those beliefs, they take the pieces of hard science they like to support their claims and deny the rest. Christianity is not a system in which all the factors are looked at, especially when it comes to human sexuality.

 

These ages-old beliefs have no place in the world today, not when we have so much knowledge surrounding the area of human sexuality. But when you attach a superstituous dogma that revolves around the threat of Hell, then no amount of evidence stands for anything. You're just that person looking for the hairs on someone else's palms.

[ChristiaNazi]

[The pastor on TBN] basically told everyone that if they are not a virgin on their wedding night then they are damaged goods...He put a special emphasis on women and masturbation...

I had a junior high Sunday school teacher who used to take a piece of gum out of her mouth and offer it to us. She would then explain to the girls that this is how much men will want you if you give it away before you're married. (or maybe she meant that no one else will want to go down on you after someone else has chewed on it)

[godlessgrrl]

This thread reminds me of FundieBoy ex (FBX for short).

 

FBX was just like the guys on the Xian board from the OP. He had a compulsion to smack the salami, and the relentless Xian sexual shame to accompany it. He was a shining example of Xian sexual attitudes in action. And he was a fucking piece of work.

 

He was a virgin into his early 30's and he definitely felt that he was morally superior to me because he'd never given it up and I had. (Not to mention that I was also a divorcee, and he'd never had a serious relationship with anyone.) He did indeed blame women for his sexual urges, but only women he was actually sexually attracted to - women who were his friends were all noble, honorable, "strong", "pure" Xian women.

 

He felt he was addicted to hardcore porn and masturbation (equally hardcore, apparently). Like many addicts, his solution to his addiction was to make everybody else in the world keep sex and sexuality under wraps. Like many addicts, he saw addiction everywhere: in his mind, anybody who used porn more than once was addicted to it. To his credit he knew the Bible well enough to know that the verses about Onan didn't actually refer to whacking off, but he used the other verses about "moral purity" to support his position. And yes, he's convinced that I'm addicted to masturbating, because I do it regularly, it's highly pleasurable, and I'm not interested in stopping. (I fucking HATE when dipshit recovering addicts do the whole "Can you give it up if you want to? No? Well then you're ADDICTED!!!" bullshit. Assholes.)

 

All this shit came out for real, of course, towards the *end* of the relationship, when I also found out that he'd lied about his Xian testimony in order to make himself look morally better. Yeah, though, he's just a seething knot of shame and pain and frustration, sexually.

 

Sometimes I have sympathy for the brainwashing he's had, but most of the time I realize what a fucking tool the guy is, and I don't feel sorry for him at all. There are a thousand ways to think about sex and sexuality, and if he wants to pick the most unhealthy, personally damaging way to think of it as possible, more power to him - he deserves every self-recrimination he lays on himself, as far as I'm concerned, given his propensity to lay the same shit on everybody else around him too.

 

I think that people like him are scared of women. Or, really, they're scared of sex in general, because the sex drive is pretty powerful, and I think he was afraid of losing control. Plus somewhere in his life someone taught him that sex is bad, and he took that in wholeheartedly. It informs his shame, and shapes his attitude about men and women and sex. And women lose, because he's a straight man with a strong sex drive, and we're the object of his desires. In his mind, it isn't just that he's sexual like everybody else, and it isn't just a normal, natural part of life - rather, to him, women stir up his loins and make him sin sexually, and since sex is bad, and women make him feel sexual, women are bad.

 

I seriously pity whoever he might marry. Unless she knows what a tool he is, and then I have no sympathy for her whatsoever for getting involved with such a major fuckhead.

 

I'm kind of a bitch that way.

 

What just really pisses me off about the whole attitude - not just his, but his as part of a larger cultural idea - is this thing about how women are somehow worth less if they don't make it to the marriage bed with hymen intact and vagina unexplored by penis. I mean what the fuck is *that* all about??

 

I suppose if you marry a bona fide virgin wife, then you definitely know that any kids from your marriage are yours and not somebody else's. And of course the best way to accomplish that is to control women, and teach people that sex is bad and wrong and frightening, except within the very limited confines of this or that religious construct (i.e. heterosexual marriage).

 

This is why I think women being sexual scares a lot of people, and why I think that so many folks freak out about the idea of birth control and abortion. Birth control means that women can have sex without fear of disease or pregnancy, as freely as men traditionally have been able to have it. (Which isn't to say that men in the past have been disease-free, but it's always been men who've been socially allowed to screw around as much as they like, for the most part.) It means women can have sex for pleasure if they want. We can have sex for pleasure, as much as we want, when we want, or not at all. Sex no longer has to have any undesirable consequences.

 

Sometimes it still does - unwanted pregnancies happen, disease is still out there - but it's very possible to avoid all that, with a high rate of success.

 

And that just freaks people like FBX the fuck out. Women having sex?! For FUN?!! ZOMG!!!!

 

Oddly enough I think that FBX actually appreciates what I'd call the "courtesan" class of women - not prostitutes necessarily, but women that have filled roles in the past like Greek hetaira, or like geisha, or something like that. Because they're women who make themselves available purely to please men. So it's weird, he'll both use women to please himself, and then vilify them for pleasing him. Go figure.

 

Anyway. I'm rambling here, just about lots of stuff.

 

FBX is an asshole.

[narcissist]

If pleasurin' myself is wrong, then I don't want to be right...

[LosingMyReligion]

In order to love others it is mandatory that you love yourself...

[BlueGiant]

Why is it bad? Well it has to be, how else is the Church (pick one) going to be so easily able to manipulate its members than screwing around with such a fundamental drive.

 

Though I do like the idea of "loving" my neighbor as myself...I have to echo LMR's sentiment there.

[Dave]

If pleasurin' myself is wrong, then I don't want to be right....

No, if pleasuring yourself is wrong, you aren't doing it right.

[R. S. Martin]

Gwemead, who is FundyBoy? You've mentioned him before and I can't get it quite figured out.

[Guest packmania]

Hmm... religion plus women = run.

 

Christianity is an excuse used by these women to be bitches. Stealing and destroying someones property can only be seen as righteous through religious eyes (even though they contradict the ten commandments!). These women see themselves as morally superior because of their religion and think that this gives them the right to impede on another human beings liberties. This is the same principle that causes things like the crusades (past and present). This is one important way in which religion HURTS PEOPLE!

 

Condemning sexuality is one of christianities key tools in demeaning humanity in order to keep its masses under the thumb. To call sexual desire an addiction is abhorrent! Sexual desire is a primal urge which facilitates reproduction and the survival of the species. It is a fundamental drive present in all forms of life from single cell organisms to blue whales yet many forms of christianity teach that if we feel these urges then we must suppress them. This implies that this primal drive is wrong, and anyone who feels them is a bad person (note the similarity here between cristianity and an abusive relationship).

 

I relate to the man in this story, the feeling of guilt instilled in me by christianity through my parents, making me feel bad about myself for being human.

 

Everone out there there is no reason to feel this guilt, your religion is just trying to conrol your mind. DON'T LET IT!

[narcissist]

If pleasurin' myself is wrong, then I don't want to be right....

No, if pleasuring yourself is wrong, you aren't doing it right.

I'll have to practice some more then.