Caring For Your Introvert

[Johnmilton]

INTJ here too.

 

I've taken the Meyers-Briggs several times in my life, always scoring this category. Even taken online variants which are ripped off the original test.

 

Certain personality types are drawn to similar generalized conclusions and even hobbies. I've always hated being around people (I scored 99 percent in the introvert scale) and I'm a control freak when it comes to my own life and doing my things my way and not working with a group (inefficiency, bickering, backstabbing, etc). I'm also a very obsessed aquarium hobbyist... I have several fish tanks, both fresh and saltwater, and am currently saving for a 200 gallon tank for the basement where I intend to make a den around this tank. Interestingly enough, on a fish forum of which I'm also a member, we did this same test and almost a third of those taking it were INTJ's.

 

I too had huge trouble dating and being around people and trying to conform to normal social interactions. Luckily I found my wife, who is as intro as I am yet forced into an extro lifestyle which was killing her, and our dating relationship was a learning experience for both of us which ultimately led to moving into together (lot of premarital sex) and marriage.

 

INTJ... remember, it's the field marshal personality. The bastards may get us down... but we'll send em off in the field in the end.

[Dianka]

Well, I'm not part of the cool club of INTJ's. Either this test is totally bullshit or there are a lot of mufuggas on here that are rare personality types. It says that INFP's make up about 1% of the population too. Weird...

 

 

Hey, guess who else was an INFP. E.T. <----

 

How cool...

[chefranden]

I've often thought that we should start an advocacy group to campaign for introvert acceptance. But none of us would want to do all of the public speaking necessary....

 

Have you ever noticed that churches, in particular, are really extrovert places? Always expecting you to "fellowship", i.e., yack on about stuff that's too personal to talk about.

 

Ya, but who would come to the meetings?

[chefranden]

Here's my idea of being social.

 

Go to the coffee shop after the morning rush, sit in the corner and read a book, if too many people come in leave.

[NotBlinded]

INTP...again.

 

Introverted 89 Very expressed introvert

Intuitive 12 Slightly expressed intuitive personality

Thinking 25 Moderately expressed thinking personality

Perceiving 67 Distinctively expressed perceiving personality

 

"INTPs and Logic -- One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness."

 

Cool....(I think) Of course that little bit of doubt leads to this:

 

"They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition."

 

Pretty much describes me perfectly!

[Amethyst]

Here's my idea of being social.

 

Go to the coffee shop after the morning rush, sit in the corner and read a book, if too many people come in leave.

 

My idea of being social is going to a Star Trek club meeting, or possibly joining a D&D gaming group or writing group. Or going to the bookstore and having a cup of coffee and reading something. I'm not anti-social, but when I am social, I'd rather do things with people who actually share my interests and who I'd have things to talk about with. Plus, I much prefer small groups.

[infidel666]

INTJ here as well.

[nirrti]

I also scored INTJ, although a while back I scored ISTJ.

 

I belong to a forum for people with Asperger's syndrome and other autistic disorders, and most of the people there are INTJ or ISTJ (it's very common for those on the spectrum) ...and many there are also agnostic/atheist.

 

I also have Asperger's Syndrome and tested INTJ. Maybe the fact that aspies tend to be more logical and analyze small details makes it harder for us to take religious doctrine seriously.

[Onyx]

I'm INFP:

Introverted: 33 Intuitive: 50 Feeling: 38 Perceiving: 22

 

I'm:

* moderately expressed introvert

* moderately expressed intuitive personality

* moderately expressed feeling personality

* slightly expressed perceiving personality

 

http://typelogic.com/infp.html

 

INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities.

 

INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--her own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse:

Sounds dead on except for the imaginary play mate part.

 

INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.

 

Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response:

 

"I say, Queequeg! Why don't you speak? It's I--Ishmael." But all remained still as before. ... Something must have happened. Apoplexy!

... And running up after me, she caught me as I was again trying to force open the door. ... "Have to burst it open," said I, and was running down the entry a little, for a good start, when the landlady caught me, again vowing I should not break down her premises; but I tore from her, and with a sudden bodily rush dashed myself full against the mark.--(Melville, Moby Dick)

 

Ditto.

 

Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.

Yes, that sounds like me but a dash of grey thrown in.

 

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

 

I have that talent, it's on show everyday, I have to provide meanings of words to people...

 

Functional Analysis:

Introverted Feeling

 

INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.

I have to think about what is good or bad from my thoughts, actions and shit from my depths. I like to do good deeds, I did one just yesterday.

 

Extraverted iNtuition

 

Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.

 

Way too true!

 

Introverted Sensing

 

Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.

I am often absent minded and other worldly.

 

Extraverted Thinking

 

The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.

 

I can be extroverted if I want to be but I choose not, most of the time.

 

Famous INFPs:

 

Homer

Virgil

Mary, mother of Jesus

St. John, the beloved disciple

St. Luke; physician, disciple, author

William Shakespeare, bard of Avon

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Evangeline)

A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)

Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie)

Helen Keller, deaf and blind author

Carl Rogers, reflective psychologist, counselor

Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers' Neighborhood)

Dick Clark (American Bandstand)

Donna Reed, actor (It's a Wonderful Life)

Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis

Neil Diamond, vocalist

Tom Brokaw, news anchor

James Herriot (All Creatures Great and Small)

Annie Dillard (Pilgrim at Tinker Creek)

James Taylor, vocalist

Julia Roberts, actor (Conspiracy Theory, Pretty Woman)

Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap)

Terri Gross (PBS's "Fresh Air")

Amy Tan (author of The Joy-Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife)

John F. Kennedy, Jr.

Lisa Kudrow ("Phoebe" of Friends)

Fred Savage ("The Wonder Years")

Not bad! I have a lot of truly great writers and a great president on my side!

 

Fictional INFPs:

 

Anne (Anne of Green Gables)

Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

Deanna Troi (Star Trek - The Next Generation)

Wesley Crusher (Star Trek - The Next Generation)

Doctor Julian Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

Bastian (The Neverending Story)

E.T.: the ExtraTerrestrial

Doug Funny, Doug cartoons

Tommy, Rug Rats cartoons

Rocko, Rocko's Modern Life cartoons

 

Now I understand why I attract geeky and idealistic types as friends.

[Unknowing1]

The interesting thing for me was that the last time I took Myers Briggs I was an INFP. On this test I was an ISFJ. Since the time I took Myers Briggs and the time I took this test I have had major life events and because of those life events both at work and at home I went through a period of self reflection of who I really am.

 

I do think that the results of these types of tests change based upon factors happing in your life and therefore are not a true indicator of who you really are. While I do not think that the introvert/extrovert indicator will change unless you are borderline and your type could go either way, I do believe the other indicators can and do change.

 

Employers who use these types of tests to categorize their employees or to determine whether or not to hire someone are doing a diservice to both the organization along with the employee. And really are on a slippery slope if they do. For instance people at work that I have a purely working relationship with think I am an extrovert. I do on occasion do group training. I also participate in organizing various employee functions.

 

However, I recently had an issue with my boss who had a problem with me because I didn't tell her about my personal life. I was told that because she was an extrovert that she needs that type of interaction. I was told that by both my boss and her boss. When the head of Human Resources was finally involved they were told that I was being professional enough by providing a greeting and making non personal small talk and they both backed off. Her being an extrovert and needing that interaction do not justify my having to share my personal life.

[Amethyst]

However, I recently had an issue with my boss who had a problem with me because I didn't tell her about my personal life. I was told that because she was an extrovert that she needs that type of interaction. I was told that by both my boss and her boss. When the head of Human Resources was finally involved they were told that I was being professional enough by providing a greeting and making non personal small talk and they both backed off. Her being an extrovert and needing that interaction do not justify my having to share my personal life.

 

Why do people think that every detail about one's personal life needs to be shared at work? What part of privacy do they not get?

[Amethyst]

Employers who use these types of tests to categorize their employees or to determine whether or not to hire someone are doing a diservice to both the organization along with the employee. And really are on a slippery slope if they do. For instance people at work that I have a purely working relationship with think I am an extrovert. I do on occasion do group training. I also participate in organizing various employee functions.

 

I would say that discrimination based on personality is extremely common. I know I haven't been hired for some jobs because they thought I was too introverted. I think it's sad that people are having to lose out on jobs for something that isn't their fault. It's one thing if it's a sales job, but nobody should have to be extroverted for an administrative job unless it's front desk, and I steer clear of those anyway.

[Clearview]

I do think that the results of these types of tests change based upon factors happing in your life and therefore are not a true indicator of who you really are.

 

So who are you, really? I've seen comments similar to the above many times and I wonder what it is that people are looking for. Some essence of "you" that cannot be changed because it always is and always was?

[Dark Helmet]

INTJ here too It's not a big surprise, I scored similarily in high school in my career tests 7 years ago.

[Unknowing1]

I do think that the results of these types of tests change based upon factors happing in your life and therefore are not a true indicator of who you really are.

 

So who are you, really? I've seen comments similar to the above many times and I wonder what it is that people are looking for. Some essence of "you" that cannot be changed because it always is and always was?

 

 

For me I'm not looking for anything. It doesn't matter to me what category someone puts me in. As long as I understand me and I am happy with me that's what matters. If I have something about myself that I want to change I work on changing it. I consider myself a work in progress and will be until the day I die.

 

All I was saying is that these types of tests do not always indicate your personality because your mood at the moment or situations that are occuring in your life may influence them. For instance say that just before taking the test I was robbed or beaten. As a normal course I'm more for mercy but dang it all because the situation just happened I'm out for blood. When I answer those questions I answer them base on the way that I am currently feeling. That's gonna skew the results.

[riverbank]

To me, some of the questions on that survey seem a bit irrelevant to what one's personality is. I was a bit surprised that some of the people said that they were introvert judging by the posts I have read from them, but then again .. it's very difficult to tell one's personality by what they write on forums like these.

 

I am introvert for sure, I do socialise with workmates and still socialise with christian friends, but I find it difficult to talk much when I'm in a group and I feel like an outsider within the groups of people I socialise with.

[Friendly Misanthrope]

Your Type is

INTJ

 

"They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. "

 

Took the test, and I am the same type.

 

Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging

 

Strength of the preferences %

 

Introverted: 100; Intuitive: 88; Thinking: 50; Judging: 33

[riverbank]

Yeah, it is interesting that many of us here are introverts. I can't say that was the reason I left Christianity, and to be honest I don't think introverts fit "less" into Christianity than they do into the world in general. Not in my experience anyways. I still find it slightly easier to fit in with my christian friends than I do my non-christian friends. But most of my christian friends now are not from my old church, in the last year I was in that church I think I was finding it more difficult to fit in there.

 

Btw, not that it matters, but why is this thread in the Ex-Christian life forum? The original post had nothing to do with Ex-Christian life as far as i can tell. Mind you not sure I can think of any other forum it can go into, but anyway..

[Jubilant]

These were my introvert scores: 67 25 50 11

 

My sister is a total extrovert.

 

I'm glad to know that there isn't something wrong with me. :-) I do fine in crowds and am very friendly and introduce myself to others, am genuinely interested in what they say and have a nice time but frankly, I'd rather not be there!