Antlerman Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 I was thinking of church names tonight that I'd like to see that emphasize the absurdity of some of the things that the devout worship. I thought of couple I'd like to see like, "Savior's Wounds, Catholic Fellowship", or "River of Blood, Pentecostal Assembly". What other church names would seem good candidates to you for the churches in your area? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 "Reformed Scarecrow Church" Yep, I live near a Reform church and the experience of it I don't wanna repeat. "Jehovah's Door Knocker Church" For obvious reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roman Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Our Lady of Perpetual Bitching Bubba Baptist Church John Wesley Harding Methodical Deer Hunters Assembly Elite Raspberry Presbytery Homo No Mo' Temple of Radical Fellationism Reformed Jewish "We Don't Go The Whole Hog" Temple Pew-Jumping Bible-Thumping Rednecks Who Will Kick Your Ass If You Don't Love Jesus Assembly Of God And Thrift Shop ----------------------- Edited to add my three Actual Churches: Rock & Roll Church of All Nations, North America (RRCANNA) Church Of My Opinion (COMO) Church Of the Eleven Dementians (COED) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Community of Perpetual Torment (You'll Love the sermons) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubilant Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 "River of Blood, Pentecostal Assembly" Sure to draw in the vampire types. Good topic...wish that I were creative enough to come up with something. :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Years ago, when the church I was attending was debating accountability and sheparding kind of things, I wrote a spoof church newsletter for 'The Church of the Massive Oversight'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted December 19, 2006 Author Share Posted December 19, 2006 A few more: - Stammering Lips Holy Ghost Church - Mary's Milk Catholic Church - Church of God in Christ in the Holy Ghost in You in Your Church Church - Judgement of God Fellowship - Lake of Fire Salvation Church - Burnt Offerings Evangelical - HOLY CHRIST! Gospel Temple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Our Lady of Shame and Guilt Catholic Church Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 Thrashing Floor of Righteousness Covenant Chapel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 New Indignation Baptist Church Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Holy Hell Lutheran Church Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 - Blessings in Disguise Christian Fellowship - Seven-Eyed Lamb of God Holiness Church - Great Whore of Babylon Opposition Church - One Lord, One Faith Denominational Church - Windows of Heaven Tithing Community Church Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Okay - I thought of one. The Church of the Condescension. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 or, maybe - The Assembly of Odd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 The Fire Baptized Church of the Bloody Death Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pug Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Oh i don't know... it could be a trend, here are some emerging ones: Assembly of Assembled Ex-Cs trying their utmost to prove that there's no God assembly Assembly of Arrogant Ex-Cs Ex-Cs Unite, No Matter What United Nation of Appropriate Ex-Cs eXtra Xtreme eX Xtians (XXXX) We Of No God No Prayers Needed Please (NPNP) Life Just Is Cult Leave Us Alone Sect House of One Lord, Many Lords, No Lords Do As You Like SisBrohood Can We Come Back but Don't Know How To Fellowship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Idiot's of GAWD Assembly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewartP Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Oh i don't know... it could be a trend, here are some emerging ones: Assembly of Assembled Ex-Cs trying their utmost to prove that there's no God assembly Assembly of Arrogant Ex-Cs Ex-Cs Unite, No Matter What United Nation of Appropriate Ex-Cs eXtra Xtreme eX Xtians (XXXX) We Of No God No Prayers Needed Please (NPNP) Life Just Is Cult Leave Us Alone Sect House of One Lord, Many Lords, No Lords Do As You Like SisBrohood Can We Come Back but Don't Know How To Fellowship hmm, pug, do I detect a trace of bitterness in these titles? Mind you, I do like "We Of No God" These are apparantly real church names: Delta United Methodist Church Brown Swamp United Methodist Church Bourbon United Pentecostal Church Homer United Methodist Church Croom-A-Coochee Baptist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Assembly of Assembled Ex-Cs trying their utmost to prove that there's no God assembly Or, there is Pug's church: The United Church of Relentless Sophism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewartP Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I found a (genuine) xian website that says: One of the toughest parts of planting a church is coming up with a good name. So, in an effort to help young church planters find the perfect name for their church I have composed the simple chart below. It follows the marketing "Rule of Three" which states that for something to be truly memorable it must have three parts. Therefore, all a young church planter needs to do is choose one word from each list to arrive at just the perfect church name. I took his chart and modified it to suit this thread. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Ex-C Church Name Generator Column1 Revival Glory Believers Life Changers Victorious Shekinah Holy Ghost Spirit Filled Champions Miracle Spiritual Triumphant Hallelujah Column2 Hypocritical Mind Fuck Death Cult Crutch Delusional Desert Golblin Twisted Fundy Warped FairyTale Vacant Sky Fairy Bronze Age Column3 Church Fellowship Temple Headquarters Tabernacle Campus Chapel Community Congregation Family Center Home Compound I like "Victorious Death Cult Congregation" and "Miracle Fundy Family" ps feel free to improve the generator and format it in a nice table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 The Fear of God Church -- We put the fear of god into every member, whether they like it or not. The Church Of Immaculate Perfection -- We expect you to be perfect, whether or not you really are. The Church Of Illogical Thought The Church of Creation UnScientists Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 Oh i don't know... it could be a trend, here are some emerging ones: Assembly of Assembled Ex-Cs trying their utmost to prove that there's no God assembly Assembly of Arrogant Ex-Cs Ex-Cs Unite, No Matter What United Nation of Appropriate Ex-Cs eXtra Xtreme eX Xtians (XXXX) We Of No God No Prayers Needed Please (NPNP) Life Just Is Cult Leave Us Alone Sect House of One Lord, Many Lords, No Lords Do As You Like SisBrohood Can We Come Back but Don't Know How To Fellowship Oh Pug... you try. I'll give you that. Since you raise the idea of us having church names, let me try a few: - Congregation of the Sighted - Assembly of the Reasonable - Fellowship of the Tolerant - Rationality Hall - Church of the Balanced Mind Should I go on with a few more that come to mind this morning? - Human Dignity Fellowship - Church of the Sincere - Community Church of Knowledge - Brotherhood of Humanity Church - Enligtenment Hall - Congregation of the Living Mind I'll stop there for now as I have some coffee to make for myself this fine morning... (You really need to present more of a challenge here ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Not feeling particularly creative today, so I will foward on the two that I have heard and found amusing: Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle (Spy Hard) Church of God The Utterly Indifferent (Sirens of Titan) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jella Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 You know pug may be on to something. I think it'd be beneficial to have a place we could go to and hear a good speaker. They could say, this is what you were taught, but this is how someone from an ex-C point of view see it. Kind of like all the questions you asked, that you didn't get anwers too. I can think of a number of folks on this board that I wouldn't mind listening too for a couple hours. This would most definately include this theads author. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted December 29, 2006 Author Share Posted December 29, 2006 You know pug may be on to something. I think it'd be beneficial to have a place we could go to and hear a good speaker. They could say, this is what you were taught, but this is how someone from an ex-C point of view see it. Kind of like all the questions you asked, that you didn't get anwers too. I can think of a number of folks on this board that I wouldn't mind listening too for a couple hours. This would most definately include this theads author. Well thank you kindly. It's ironic how in many ways now that I'm an atheist, I actually find I'm doing much more than I ever did when I was studying to be a minister, without really trying to be something other that just a human. The major difference is in being true to myself. I think I was just wearing the wrong damned shoes! They were way too tight. Too small of a box to jam the universe into. No room to think. The world isn't small, but a fundi needs it to be. Let's think of another church name for ExC: (something simple): First Universal Church of Free Thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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