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Goodbye Jesus

I Use To Have Affairs With Married Christian Women!


Leaf

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Thank you, StewartP, for continuing to prove my point. You don't want to find anything wrong with anything Randi does because you agree with him. People here are quick to find things wrong with what Leaf does because they disagree with his lifestyle. That's just how the human mind works.

 

Euphgeek, the only thing that's been proven here is that you make stuff up and won't reply to relevant questions. In fact, I think I have found a picture that accurately depicts you, wearing a green shirt and purple pants:

 

rnin553l.jpg

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Well, DigitalQuirk, you're certainly entitled to your own opinion, although nothing I've said has been made up. My whole point, that you and others demonstrated so clearly, was that people don't find fault those they agree with (Randi) as quickly as they do with people they disagree with (Leaf). Once again, it's human nature.

 

One other thing: If Leaf was seducing men in the church, whether he was a gay man or a woman, either none or hardly any of you would have had a problem with his actions. The same can be said if he was a lesbian seducing women in the church.

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One other thing: If Leaf was seducing men in the church, whether he was a gay man or a woman, either none or hardly any of you would have had a problem with his actions. The same can be said if he was a lesbian seducing women in the church.

 

Euph...I don't agree with you one iota here on your statement. My problem with Leaf, from the very beginning has been with his attitude and his very CLEAR and very APPARENT disregard for women in general, not to mention that he came off as a LIAR from the beginning too. If he'd have come and said that he had sex with Christian women, that'd be one thing but speaks of women like a fucking conquest.

 

I'd be disdainful of anyone that brags about themselves and their sexual conquests as though it is something to be admired for, screw that shit and I could care less what their sexual orientation was. And I especially am not gonna "atta boy" some fucktard who thinks that we women were put here to serve his ass!

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I was never much of "stud muffin" jock strap kind of guy, but like I've heard said many times that once women are done with the whole "hot" guy thing, they look for men who have something to add to their lives as individuals, a companion, a friend, someone with humor to make them genuinely laugh, an affectionate shoulder, a loving ear, a hand to hold, a partner, a mate, a true lover.

That there is the truth...not the stud muffin part, but the part about women being done with the "hot" part. :)

 

Leaf thinks these women want him for ever. I would be willing to bet that most of them just want to "do" him and move on. He is a man-slut. Women don't want anything more from him than sex because that is all he has to offer and when a women cheats or just doesn't want a relationship, these are the type of men they go to. He needs to charge these women because he is being used and he doesn't even know it.

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One other thing: If Leaf was seducing men in the church, whether he was a gay man or a woman, either none or hardly any of you would have had a problem with his actions. The same can be said if he was a lesbian seducing women in the church.

 

Euph...I don't agree with you one iota here on your statement. My problem with Leaf, from the very beginning has been with his attitude and his very CLEAR and very APPARENT disregard for women in general, not to mention that he came off as a LIAR from the beginning too. If he'd have come and said that he had sex with Christian women, that'd be one thing but speaks of women like a fucking conquest.

Read the title of this thread: "I Use To Have Affairs With Married Christian Women!" He did exactly what you said you wouldn't have a problem with. He only started bragging after people started jumping all over him about it (not that I think he was right for doing it).

I'd be disdainful of anyone that brags about themselves and their sexual conquests as though it is something to be admired for, screw that shit and I could care less what their sexual orientation was. And I especially am not gonna "atta boy" some fucktard who thinks that we women were put here to serve his ass!

Well, maybe you would have been one of the "hardly any" who would have had a problem with his actions had he been homosexual and/or a woman. And even if you did have a problem, would you have posted as vehemently as some of the posters here have? I'm not saying that people would give him an "atta boy" just that they wouldn't have as much of a problem with him. They certainly wouldn't post 20 pages worth of condemnation.

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Well, DigitalQuirk, you're certainly entitled to your own opinion, although nothing I've said has been made up. My whole point, that you and others demonstrated so clearly, was that people don't find fault those they agree with (Randi) as quickly as they do with people they disagree with (Leaf). Once again, it's human nature.

 

One other thing: If Leaf was seducing men in the church, whether he was a gay man or a woman, either none or hardly any of you would have had a problem with his actions. The same can be said if he was a lesbian seducing women in the church.

 

Actually, I'm fairly certain that most people saw his post for what it was: Bragging about himself and his conquests, then thinly veiling it as demonstrating the immorality of Christians. It's not just my opinion; consider his opening line:

 

I consider myself a Alpha traditional male. And when I was in the church from age 18-28...and a nice looking man "I was voted Home coming King in HS my senior year"

 

Before he says one thing about these Christian women, he wants to make sure we all know how "Great looking" he is. This adds absolutely nothing to the fact that Christian women are immoral. After that, he makes a point of mentioning the great numbers of women he's been with; again, these specifics are unnecessary if all he's doing is telling us how immoral these Christian women are.

 

Whether he was straight or not was irrelevant.

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HAHA.

 

You guys can insult him all you want. Fact is, he's right. Leaf, Nivek, and others have confirmed what I have experienced from the other end of the “male spectrum” since my Christian days: that women will always choose confidence over “Christlikeness”, intelligence or any other "noble" personality trait, no matter how Christian or mature they claim to be. All the rhetoric in the churches over obedience, fidelity, and “family values” has been proven false by the experiences of guys like Leaf.

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When I look at the times that I have done well with the ladies I was confident, yes. But my audacity was simultaneously being tempered by a certain amount of humility as well.

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Well, DigitalQuirk, you're certainly entitled to your own opinion, although nothing I've said has been made up. My whole point, that you and others demonstrated so clearly, was that people don't find fault those they agree with (Randi) as quickly as they do with people they disagree with (Leaf). Once again, it's human nature.

 

One other thing: If Leaf was seducing men in the church, whether he was a gay man or a woman, either none or hardly any of you would have had a problem with his actions. The same can be said if he was a lesbian seducing women in the church.

 

Actually, I'm fairly certain that most people saw his post for what it was: Bragging about himself and his conquests, then thinly veiling it as demonstrating the immorality of Christians. It's not just my opinion; consider his opening line:

 

I consider myself a Alpha traditional male. And when I was in the church from age 18-28...and a nice looking man "I was voted Home coming King in HS my senior year"
Before he says one thing about these Christian women, he wants to make sure we all know how "Great looking" he is. This adds absolutely nothing to the fact that Christian women are immoral. After that, he makes a point of mentioning the great numbers of women he's been with; again, these specifics are unnecessary if all he's doing is telling us how immoral these Christian women are.

 

Whether he was straight or not was irrelevant.

Perhaps, but would you have fixated on the negative parts of his post if he were homosexual and/or a woman? I propose not. And it's for the same reason that RubySera got upset over the perceived predation of Mennonite women. Men are seen as being able to handle everything the world throws at them while the women are innocent flowers to be sheltered from the "evils" of the world (men like Leaf) until their wedding night. Yes, it's a sexist way of looking at things but it's been ingrained into our minds even more deeply than religion, no matter how hard we try not to be that way. As for the homosexual part, most people on here wouldn't call him out like you did for fear of seeming homophobic.

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Trashy, that's exactly what I'm talking about. People are quick to criticize those they disagree with whether those criticisms are legitimate or not, but will defend zealously (as you have) those they agree with. Thank you for an excellent demonstration of my point.

 

You have now thoroughly confused me. So, let me get this straight.....I should criticize only those I agree with, and defend only those I disagree with? So if I am a Christian I should criticize only Christians? If I am atheist I should defend only Christians? You seem to be painting with rather a broad brush here.

 

As far as Leaf goes, I have no big problems with his original post. The sex was consensual. I do have a problem with him acting like "God's gift to women" and all that, but that just makes him irritating, not necessarily evil.

 

As far as James Randi goes, I don't defend him due to some sort of knee-jerk reaction, but rather because your accusations were unfounded.

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Perhaps, but would you have fixated on the negative parts of his post if he were homosexual and/or a woman? I propose not. And it's for the same reason that RubySera got upset over the perceived predation of Mennonite women. Men are seen as being able to handle everything the world throws at them while the women are innocent flowers to be sheltered from the "evils" of the world (men like Leaf) until their wedding night. Yes, it's a sexist way of looking at things but it's been ingrained into our minds even more deeply than religion, no matter how hard we try not to be that way. As for the homosexual part, most people on here wouldn't call him out like you did for fear of seeming homophobic.

 

 

Ok, I leave for a few days and come back to find this thread...I read through most of the posts, so I thought I'd post some thoughts as a semi-objective observer.

 

I see the point you are making, but I don't completely agree with you. Now maybe all of these supposed conquests of his were totally aware that they were just a fling to him, but by his own admission he lies to get women into bed so I doubt this is so.

 

I may be a man but I have dated women before only to find out I was more serious about them then they were about me. It wasn't always sexual, but that doesn't even matter, because I gave myself to someone emotionally and in the end just felt used, so I don't think it matters if the person is male, female, straight or gay.

 

Anyway, For my part, as I read though his posts I tried to give him a fair shake...in the end I just couldn't bring myself to like this guy,

 

Part of it is that the guy just sounds like another kind of fundy, he calls for a abandonment of old values to such and extent that would make even Nietchzsche nervous, but in the end he seems to think the only way to live life is HIS way. I doubt he will care for my opinion, since I am one of those "Wusses that sits at home and watches porn" I don't claim to be a nice guy, but if I have to be like him to get a women to date me I'd rather be single, and that is MY choice.

 

He keeps saying that western men have become feminized, as if femininity is evil or something, or even that the act of being emotionally attached to another human being is by nature feminine anyway.

 

He also seems to hate everyone, he thinks everyone lies, women even more so, I don't know if he had some bad experience or he is just naturally cynical, but he had said himself that the reason he doesn't have long term relationships is because they will just leave you to fuck someone else...

 

On top of that, does anyone think the guy sounds like a salesman for a pyramid scheme? he keeps saying over and over that he got his dating tips from some guy and we should all look him up...you know "only 3 easy payments of 19.95 and he too will teach you how to woo the ladies"

 

Maybe he enjoys his life...if so then more power too him, I could care less...I personally think there are some major risks involved in his lifestyle, but he is more than welcome to it if it is what he wants. However, It is not for me.

 

Leaf, all I have to say to you is FUCK OFF. If you think think sleeping with lots of women makes you a better person or more manly then I don't give a fuck. News flash, YOU are not the standard I, or anyone else here, judge our life by. I don't need your permission or your accolades to make my existence meaningful.

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Trashy, that's exactly what I'm talking about. People are quick to criticize those they disagree with whether those criticisms are legitimate or not, but will defend zealously (as you have) those they agree with. Thank you for an excellent demonstration of my point.

 

You have now thoroughly confused me. So, let me get this straight.....I should criticize only those I agree with, and defend only those I disagree with? So if I am a Christian I should criticize only Christians? If I am atheist I should defend only Christians? You seem to be painting with rather a broad brush here.

I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't do, only what people tend to do. Most Christians don't question the beliefs of Billy Graham and many atheists don't question the findings of James Randi.

As far as Leaf goes, I have no big problems with his original post. The sex was consensual. I do have a problem with him acting like "God's gift to women" and all that, but that just makes him irritating, not necessarily evil.
I agree. But I also have a problem with some of the people here who seem to be playing holier-than-thou by passing judgment on Leaf's posts.
As far as James Randi goes, I don't defend him due to some sort of knee-jerk reaction, but rather because your accusations were unfounded.

I'm not trying to start a discussion on James Randi, but my criticisms of him are not unfounded. But only people who disagree with his beliefs are generally going to try to find things to criticize about him. People who agree with his beliefs have no reason to, so they generally don't. The same goes for people who believe the same thing as Kent Hovind, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.

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shiet, i need to go back to church,haha. i totally understand where you are coming from, and many people should shed light on this

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Perhaps, but would you have fixated on the negative parts of his post if he were homosexual and/or a woman? I propose not. And it's for the same reason that RubySera got upset over the perceived predation of Mennonite women. Men are seen as being able to handle everything the world throws at them while the women are innocent flowers to be sheltered from the "evils" of the world (men like Leaf) until their wedding night. Yes, it's a sexist way of looking at things but it's been ingrained into our minds even more deeply than religion, no matter how hard we try not to be that way. As for the homosexual part, most people on here wouldn't call him out like you did for fear of seeming homophobic.

 

 

Ok, I leave for a few days and come back to find this thread...I read through most of the posts, so I thought I'd post some thoughts as a semi-objective observer.

 

I see the point you are making, but I don't completely agree with you....

I know. And there are exceptions to the rule. However from what I've seen on this thread, yes Leaf was very narcissistic but I also saw him as defending himself against an onslaught of criticism of his lifestyle. Wouldn't you be just a bit defensive if your lifestyle was attacked? And the reason I think that there was such an onslaught was because he is a man seducing women. People ignored the main point of his post and went straight for the "Adulterer! You should be ashamed of yourself!" attack.

Leaf, all I have to say to you is FUCK OFF. If you think think sleeping with lots of women makes you a better person or more manly then I don't give a fuck. News flash, YOU are not the standard I, or anyone else here, judge our life by. I don't need your permission or your accolades to make my existence meaningful.

I think that except for the second sentence, this could be said to some of the other posters here, as well.

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I know. And there are exceptions to the rule. However from what I've seen on this thread, yes Leaf was very narcissistic but I also saw him as defending himself against an onslaught of criticism of his lifestyle. Wouldn't you be just a bit defensive if your lifestyle was attacked? And the reason I think that there was such an onslaught was because he is a man seducing women. People ignored the main point of his post and went straight for the "Adulterer! You should be ashamed of yourself!" attack.

 

Yeah, I agree that such a double standard exists, however, and I can't speak for everyone here, I, personally, would have some choice words for the women who cheated too, as most, if not all, share some of the responsibility....perhaps the husband ALSO shares blame as well. Usually if the woman in a marriage cheats, they do so because their husband isn't giving them something they need/want.

 

I am sure there is plenty of blame to go around, but none of this exempts him from taking blame for his role in the whole mess. He, at the very least, should not be going around claiming to be a moral person (he did claim this in one of his posts) Morality, at least as conventionally understood by most if not all cultures, involves treating other peoples lives as being at least equally important to our own.

 

He is clearly not doing this, but is in it for his own pleasure, which is fine I guess, but he could just be honest about it, instead of going through some crazy mental gymnastics to convince everyone what he is doing is "right" ... especially since he doesn't seem that good at gymnastics

 

I think that except for the second sentence, this could be said to some of the other posters here, as well.

 

granted, I've had disagreements with people here and on other boards as well....not to mention real life

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Euphgeek, here's my problem - and I sat out this thread for a while after some posts way, way back. So I didn't pile on as much.

 

First, this guy is feeding into the impression that atheists are hedonistic and only caring about themselves. Why that interpretation?

 

Because Leaf and his conquests have to HIDE what they're doing. It's obviously NOT okay with the person being cheated on, else there wouldn't be the need for the lie.

 

And frankly, if I saw a woman or man, no matter whom, bragging about how much scooty they get and how stupid I am for not aiding and abetting cheating, I would savage them too. That kind of attitude grates on me something fierce. And I happen to know some women that treat guys like pieces of meat.

 

His attitude towards women is not one I particularly enjoy, but hey it's not all that uncommon and I can say, OK, takes two to tango, whatever. If he wanted to sleep around with a bunch of unattached women, fine. But then to do the whole "While you're jerking yourself to sleep, I'll be with a nice, soft woman." is the height of lame. It's one of those super-annoying dick-measuring contests. And if that's what I'd have to put up with in the dating world, then I'll gladly sit out, thank you very much.

 

I'm an athiest and I don't even argue anything of James Randi's. I don't even read nor care about James Randi, so your complaint is lost on me. I've criticized people I agree with otherwise, often-some on this board.

 

There is something to be said for basic human decency—which would mean that someone like Leaf shouldn't have to use mendacity to get someone in bed, especially someone that's purportedly committed to someone else. That just is not fair.

 

And that's out of a basic human sense, not a religious sense.

 

-Seth

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However from what I've seen on this thread, yes Leaf was very narcissistic but I also saw him as defending himself against an onslaught of criticism of his lifestyle.

 

Euph, you are defending a man who in a separate thread very adamently believes that being gay is a choice and that MOST child molesters are homosexuals and that homosexuals are promiscous. He whined about the "onslaught of criticism" on this thread and about how we think we are somehow more moral, and that how we who disagree with him have left christianity but not fundyism but yet he says horrible things about gays. If memory serves correctly, he claims to know 30-50 poor, wretched gay souls and says that after age 50 they become fat, lazy and depressed individuals.

 

BTW...Who is dragging the thread out and doing the judging and condemning now? This thread could've been done a long time ago but you saw the "need" to try and set us all straight and point out our supposed hypocrisy while you are doing the same damn thing. Not to mention that Leaf condemns and judges homosexuals and has the audacity to say the live promiscous lifestyles! Talk about hypocrisy. The guy is not worth defending.

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Euph...Sorry that I lashed out at you like that (I'm not a paid member so my ability to edit only lasts so long or I'd of changed the wording of my post). Maybe I'm taking things to personally and it is just coming off to me as you being judgemental. You have a right to your opinion, so I apologize for the way I've acted. However, I'm not sorry for how I feel regarding Leaf. Anyway, you won't hear anymore out of me towards you.

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No problem, Jubilant. I apologize if I came off as condemning. I wasn't trying to defend Leaf, I was just trying to bring some common sense to a discussion that deteriorated a long time ago. I honestly do believe that if Leaf were a woman and/or a homosexual that people wouldn't have been so quick to condemn.

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Euphgeek, here's my problem - and I sat out this thread for a while after some posts way, way back. So I didn't pile on as much.

 

First, this guy is feeding into the impression that atheists are hedonistic and only caring about themselves. Why that interpretation?

Don't some atheists act that way, though? Just like some Christians, some Buddhists, some Muslims, etc. You can't change the behavior of everyone in your group, especially not by haranguing them.

Because Leaf and his conquests have to HIDE what they're doing. It's obviously NOT okay with the person being cheated on, else there wouldn't be the need for the lie.

 

And frankly, if I saw a woman or man, no matter whom, bragging about how much scooty they get and how stupid I am for not aiding and abetting cheating, I would savage them too. That kind of attitude grates on me something fierce. And I happen to know some women that treat guys like pieces of meat.

I didn't say everyone would treat him different if he were a woman and/or homosexual, just most people.
His attitude towards women is not one I particularly enjoy, but hey it's not all that uncommon and I can say, OK, takes two to tango, whatever. If he wanted to sleep around with a bunch of unattached women, fine. But then to do the whole "While you're jerking yourself to sleep, I'll be with a nice, soft woman." is the height of lame. It's one of those super-annoying dick-measuring contests. And if that's what I'd have to put up with in the dating world, then I'll gladly sit out, thank you very much.

I agree, Leaf wasn't being much better than his attackers.

I'm an athiest and I don't even argue anything of James Randi's. I don't even read nor care about James Randi, so your complaint is lost on me. I've criticized people I agree with otherwise, often-some on this board.

My point in bringing up James Randi was that people usually don't investigate the claims of those whose claims match their belief system. Criticizing people you normally agree with on things you disagree about is something entirely different, because at the moment you're criticizing you actually disagree with them over something.

There is something to be said for basic human decency—which would mean that someone like Leaf shouldn't have to use mendacity to get someone in bed, especially someone that's purportedly committed to someone else. That just is not fair.

 

And that's out of a basic human sense, not a religious sense.

 

-Seth

I didn't get the impression that Leaf lied to women to get them into bed. And as you pointed out before, it takes two to tango, and these women probably would have cheated anyway with someone else if not with Leaf. Leaf didn't force these women to cheat, he was just there to help them cheat.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Green Eyes

I stumbled LATELY onto this forum when I had googled the word narcissistic in order to ATTEMPT to possibly understand both of the men in my life.

 

At this point, I believe them not to suffer from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), but most likely to be the product (grown men) attempting to SURVIVE a parent with NPD.

 

All three famlies of ours tried their best to raise us with proper religion. We have a mix of Strong Southern Baptist, Catholic converted to Lutheran, & myself Strong Southern Baptist to Pentecostal & back to Baptist again.

 

Myself, as a teen, the Pentecostal religion frightened me. I needed to return to a place in which I felt comfortable. And although the BASICS were provided to us all, I suspect we EACH TOOK what it was that we felt we NEEDED, and continued to mold our thoughts of God and his thoughts of us from there. RELGION is very much like music. So often, we simply TAKE we NEED.

 

I've also matured through the years. I DO still believe in God, but when we start placing JUDGEMENTS in others, then I fear we are detouring from God's word. It is His order to judge. Not ours. I firmly believe that we are ALL children of God's regardless of race, color or religion. I have too much intelligence to BUY into one denomination having it right, and the other wrong.

 

I'd like to refer to WHAT'S SO AMAZING ABOUT GRACE, by Philip YANCEY. I tend to agree with he. I believe that by God's Grace we will ALL make it thru Heaven's door. What we do within our individual lifestyles is simply a further extension of our personal personna.

 

As far as Leaf, I believe he is a TRUE ALPHA MALE. I suspect he has, erroneously, intimated some of the men on the board. Why wouldn't he? The mere thought that someone like he that could simply STEP IN & possibly ENTICE something/someone away from their world, as they now know it, would create a most INSECURE feeling for ANYONE (including myself in a visa-versa situation).

 

We EACH strive for security in our world. We ALL have different needs, tastes, & desires that continuously change (as we age and mature).

 

The HUGEST piece of wisdom that I've ever come to obtain is: Don't say I would NEVER.....Because you truly NEVER know.

 

A year ago, I would have WALKED OUT THE DOOR if I had found out that my husband of 20 years ever cheated on me. I was THAT self-righteous, THAT religious, THAT confident, that I would have been in my worldly right, in God's right.

 

However, I've spent the winter, somewhat examining, the various religions. I've been away from the church for quite some time, but continued with WHAT I HAD TAKEN FROM THE CHURCH - MY NEEDS and employed them within my life. We needed to sit a good example for the children.

 

Every day life can be TOUGH, and even grueling. And it does become boring at times. Some men (and women) need an outlet. Most men have hobbies, while they leave their wives at home to sucumb to home & family. It is in a family such as this wherein an unknown DOOR CAN OPEN. A conman confieded in me once told me that his EASIEST PREY was a married woman. THAT KNOWLEDGE KEPT MY GUARD UP IN TOP FORM (or so, at least, I had thought).

 

Women NEED "emotional support" as often as one can provide it. If you are a man, and not providing your wife with such, I don't care HOW RELIGIOUS SHE IS, she may FOLD, perhaps not easily, but perhaps ONLY IF the RIGHT person steps in. This hence, may explain the three wives of ministers in which Leaf had slept with.

 

Men - LOVEMAKING tends to be IN THE MIND of a woman. Men ACT. Women THINK.

 

Alpha males have a DISTINT ADVANTAGE. An ALPHA MALE doesn't even have to be GREAT LOOKING (but does require a DOMINANT personality). If he tells a women that she's the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in the world, and she's not hearing that from her husband, yes, she's being BAITED. However, it becomes HER choice as to whether or not to proceed. Yes, it takes TWO TO TANGO.

 

Does it make him A MAN's MAN? Does it make her a SLUT? My answer, YES and NO consecutively.

 

CHRISTIANITY ATTEMPTS TO CRUNCH, or make BOUNDARIES, to one of the most NATURAL expressions of sexual sensation and related intimacy between human beings, as well as the EXPRESSION OF IDENTITY through sex and as influenced by or based on sex. (We women want to FEEL like women, not just mom's & somebody's wife).

 

For the MAJORITY of my life, I had been sexually REDUCED (meaning although I thoroughly enjoyed sex with my husband, in my subconscience lie the facet that the sexual part os the human body was BAD, BAD, BAD). While it didn't STOP me from experiencing great orgasms, it DID PROHIBIT me to a degree.

 

A TRUE ALPHA MALE will be DOMINATING, and fully aware as to how to provide pleasure a woman. Not simply in bed, but MOST IMPORTANTLY, by the words he gives to her. He's simply a WORDSMYTHER with lots of TETESTERONE who can make the mere act of sex into something HEIGHTENED in her mind.

 

Leaf, aren't I correct? Isn't this what you do?

 

Men like Leaf LOVE women. And he TELLS them JUST that. They won't CARE if there are others. I'm not kidding. More than the sex, they LOVE hearing him tell them that she's the most beautiful thing in the world, and that sex is the most NATURAL act two people can have together. The woman WANT to BUY into it. They NEED to hear those words. WORDS that their husbands have been avoiding saying (some, repeat "some" in fear that their woman will leave down the road).

 

ALPHA MALES are not abusing these women. They are ADDING to their lives. Something, sadly, that has been missing.

 

I'm in the U.S. Leaf, I believe, was in UKRAINE. "I" would have turned him down. And NOT because of his lack of dominancy. But because of MY GUARD, which is MUCH HIGHER than the normal woman's (repeating that a conman had confided that his easiest prey was a married woman).

 

Here is the U.S. I had my OWN Alpha Male to be dealt with. It took him over a decade. But he finally did it. With his word-smything, and my FIRST HAND knowledge of he (someone of whom I was familiar with & trusted), I sucumbed to his words.

 

He's everything that I was told NOT to believe in, that fairy tales don't come true. He's my FANTASY guy. He's always given of himself to ANYONE in NEED (such as Leaf). I mean, the churches, the old people, the kid without a place to stay the night.

 

He's my KNIGHT when I need him to be one. He's my LOVER when I need him to be. He's my cowboy when I need him to be (and I'm NOT talking kinky, nor costumes). He's my FANTASY guy.

 

Now, here's the KICKER. I would NEVER want to be married to he. NOT because he's not a GREAT guy. He's WONDERFUL!! He's CHARMING!! He fulfills the needs I'm not getting at home.

 

I guess it's really because it would RUIN the fantasy. Not just mine, but his, too. We EACH adore the WORD-SMYTHING. The incredible passionate sex IT CREATES is mere ICING ON THE CAKE!! It's been over a year now. I'm in my late 40's and my sex life has never been so FULFILLING & ENJOYABLE as this past year. He makes me feel (with his continued words) as if my body is a piece of Artwork, something in which should be enjoyed, something to be adorned.

 

My ALPHA MALE doesn't even have to TOUCH me. My body becomes intoxicately wet just from hearing his voice over the telephone (& visa versa). We can just be talking business (nothing sexual).

 

NOW HONESTLY - WOULD YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY FROM THAT (Despite it being SOCIALLY unacceptable)?

 

Most ALPHA MALES are SOOO dominating, that they are TOUGH to live with. And you can't TRUST THEM if you're looking for fidelity. They just CAN'T cut it. That's where the HIGHER DESIRE for the NICE GUY comes in. We ALSO yearn for SECURITY. I'm fortuante. I seem to have somehow found both (or they found me).

 

Do I feel like a slut? Absolutley NOT! Would I ever want my children to know? Of course not. I DO want to set a good example. However, with ALL of God's children, they are ultimately going to make their own independent decisions about marriage, sex, right & wrongs, etc.

 

Would I ever want my husband to know? Of course not. NOT because I fear divorce from him (he loves the life we've built - I know he would forgive me, NOT that he's a pushover. Trust me. He's NOT. I would have to bare his rath for quite sometime). It's probably more so because I would never want to bring mental harm to he.

 

Would I be embarassed if anyone found out? Yes and no. I would be embarrased FOR my husband, not really so much for myself. I recognize that sounds ODD. You see, MY ALPHA MALE is over ten years younger than I (Yes, I have great genes - looking much younger than my years).

 

As well, my ALPHA MALE, is quite selective. Are we EXCLUSIVE SECRET LOVERS? I am. He claims HE to be. Am I BUYING?

Truthfully, I'm STILL OUT on that one. I'd like to think so, but both of my men have taught me to TRUST NO MAN (I'm serious!).

 

Are my men somewhat narcissistic? Yes, I believe so. I know that each of these men are the children of a narcissistic parent. They EACH think that they are HUGER THAN LIFE (which makes me a little crazed because I don't look down on ANYONE), but than there are variances. We're ALL God's children. I was merely googling to try and BETTER UNDERSTAND the each of them, in an attempt to better give to the EACH of them what THEY need that they're not getting from one another.

 

The truth is - right now - They need EACH OTHER - more than myself. You see, they are "over ten year best friends", and try to SUPPORT one another (give) in each of the AREAS OF UNDISCOVERED NEED that the each of their parents did not, properly, give to them. I just hope to expedite, because I love them EACH.

 

 

GREEN EYES

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Think so? Seems like a completely different style of writing to me. Why would Leaf claim to be a woman in his late 40s?

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All I can say Leaf is a bitch.

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Guest Green Eyes
Anyone else think Green Eyes is really Leaf?

 

I promise I’m NOT Leaf.

 

As well, I’m not a woman who to read romance novels, nor watch soap operas. This love affair is NOTHING I was day-dreaming of, nor seeking out.

 

ROMANCE in the sense of the word, to myself, was a mere fairytale. I am a business-woman, but have the luxury of working out of my home.

 

There was merely something LACKING in my life. I just didn’t know what it was. How can one MISS something you’ve never known? Yes, my husband told me YEARS ago that he loved me. He married me, and we exchanged the little, without forethought, “I love you’s” as FAMILY LIFE continues operating us day to day.

 

Today’s woman do share SOME traits of today’s men. They have an INTERNAL NEED to hear that they are TRULY valued and appreciated. It WILL make us want to YIELD that much more (to please you), and visa-versa.

 

I just wanted to tell you men to GO HOME & TELL YOUR WIVES JUST HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE!! (and don’t be fake about it, because she’ll recognize it) She knows you like the back of her hand. You’ll GAIN ten (10) fold the words you speak if you speak them sincerely.

 

One of my favorite songs that still pops into my head since childhood was Donna Fargo’s “Happiest girl in the whole USA” (You make the coffee, I’ll make the bed, I’ll fix your lunch and you fix mine.”). Now THAT one DID stick with me. Perhaps I WAS aware of the something that was missing (subconsciously). My husband & I tend to do our chores & socializing separately (due to having children to raise).

 

Don’t give these ALPHA MALES an edge!!. Don’t merely DISMISS her needs by COUNTING ON the facet that she’s a PROPER woman, or predominantly RELIGIOUS. Not even a smart, sophisticated, intelligent woman would be able to resist some of these ALPHA MALES if she has become his target.

 

SHE NEEDS YOUR EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL SUPPORT (NEEDS NEEDS NEEDS)!!!

 

It’s not AS IF my husband’s best friend continually attempted to seduce me.

 

In fact, it SHOCKED me when my, now lover, stepped forward to confess that he fell in love with me the day on the day we met one another (myself being VERY married, & two men who would become “best friends” for what will likely be life).

 

I do recall, ONLY ONCE, after having known him for nearly four years that he, within my mind, something transpired that made me feel UNCOMFORTABLE.

 

Our strong dominant friend had been emotionally hurt. It wasn’t another woman. It was that he had thought he did something to hurt my husband & I. He had taken off RUNNING ON FOOT (within his own guilt). He has been trained to be a VERY GUARDED individual on a day-to-day basis. Big mistakes didn’t typically happen. However on this day particular day, Mother Nature had caught he off guard. In his mind, he had let us down.

 

He was a TRUE ALPHA MALE (physically stronger than most, an extraordinary person, dynamic within his own rights, able to withstand any attack, an impregnable fortress of a man). There is nothing in the world of which he was not capable. He was a former highly skilled military man, trained in unconventional warfare. Even the way he stood up in a straight stance, his body form revealed “I’m a MAN’s MAN - I’M A LADIES MAN!”

 

It was still raining outside. I caught up with him in my vehicle some three and a half miles away. I had prompted he multiple times to PLEASE get inside my car. He was a PROUD young man.

 

FINALLY, and as we sat there, I attempted to comfort he with my soft words using the amazing grace, and a heart of understanding (that he probably wasn’t used to) that God has blessed me with towards all man-kind. You see, I’ve always been the GIRL (now woman) who always “roots for the underdog” (& HOW I actually ended up dating my now husband). My husband, ALSO, is younger than myself. My men are about a half a dozen years apart in age.

 

THEN for a BRIEF moment, NOTHING in which I had CONTEMPLATED swept in, like a STRONG tidal wave. For only a BRIEF moment, I suddenly had a strong desire, to lean over to embrace him. I felt compelled, not to kiss his lips, but to kiss away EACH of the remaining tears that yet were drifting over the wells of his eyes, trickling down his cheek. He would quickly attempt to turn his face from me, wiping them away so I could not see his vulnerability. He had always appeared as so INVINCIBLE. My young ALPHA MALE loved and respected us. Yet as QUICKLY as that MERE THOUGHT/PICTURE entered my mind, I was QUICK to DISMISS it (with a capital “D”).

 

I was EXTREMELY strong willed and NOT ABOUT to let ANYONE into my psyche.

I took a second to shake my head & re-prompted my mind “CANNOT GO THERE”. So, I pushed it OUT OF MY HEAD. My father had taught me that “TO LUST IS A SIN”.

 

However, during the same, I DID confide in our friend with these words, “Right now my instinct is to lean over and hug you, to let you know that it’s really OK, but I’m a married woman and I cannot do that”. I shared NOTHING of that fleeting momentary thought, now dismissed. But it DID bother me as I drove him home. WHERE had that come from?!? Then, then it was GONE from my conscience mind.

 

So I really, HEART OF HEARTS, I hadn’t. I didn’t. I recognize that I’m a little bit EXTRAORDINARY in that sense. A lot of women these days take lusting casually. I disagree. Even once while in my twenty’s when CAUGHT in a limo with friends, landing at a strip bar, when we went inside I did not look. The sat at the table FACING the stage. I sat on the OPPOSITE side of the table with my back to the stage. One of my ex’s owned a Night Club. When they had LADIES NITE with strippers, I would dismiss myself from the club PRIOR to the show, and return AFTER the show was over.

 

Again, I’ve since (in this past year) have come to believe that religion attempts to CRUNCH sexual human nature. Women are such different animals than men. We’re typically very monogamous. That’s our normal STRONG (vantage) POINT to men.

 

Also this friend of ours has ALWAYS shown me nothing but absolute HONOR & RESPECT.

 

I honestly had LITTLE IDEA. I was SHOCKED when “our friend” DID finally step forward and confided his feelings a little over a year ago. However, I did what I believed to be the RIGHT & HONORABLE thing. I went STRAIGHT TO MY HUSBAND!

 

I told him! I warned him that his best friend was NOT a true friend, that he couldn’t be trusted. We actually prayed together that night as we lie in our bed. It was the ONLY time he’s ever prayed with me outside of his church. My husband asked God that he help keep our marriage in tact, and our family, secure.

 

I won’t tell you that I had a GREAT marriage. It began breaking down when he found the need to ESCAPE family life and spend it with the boys. I didn’t BEGRUDE his NEEDS! Instead I found myself becoming exceedingly JEALOUS that he could come & go as deemed. But not myself. Through the years, it was SLOWLY eating away at me.

 

Also being married to someone who thinks he’s so much better than the majority (who speaks of the majority as losers & the scum of the earth) when you are the type of person that counts their blessings every day & feels compassion for all those that surround you… Anyhow, our marriage had it’s faults, but nothing that I didn’t HOPE could be overcome at the time. I loved my husband, the father of my children, the life we had worked at so hard TOGETHER to build. However, spiritually, I found his spoken arrogance (primarily only to myself & children & of course, his best friend), DESPICABLE. Fortunately, at this point in time, it’s appearing that most of my children have elected to “take from mom” what they liked (& needed). THIS pleases me.

 

So you see, it’s not AS IF I just folded & said OK. I actually sent his best friend PACKING initially. You want to hear what he said when I, NICELY, turned he away?

 

“You’re lying to yourself. You do love me. I know you do xxx (my name). Whether you want to admit it or not, that’s OK. I’m not trying to force you into saying or doing something that you don’t want to. But do know that I have loved you since the first day I laid eyes upon you” (& proceeded to tell me EXACTLY what I wore that day (& he had been ABSOLUTELY ON THE MONEY)! I will always be in love with you.”

 

Well THAT got my attention, but NOT like you might have assumed.

 

How DARE he! WHO did he think he was?!? I wasn’t THAT kind of woman and I had NEVER given him any EXTRA attention, other than that cold & rainy day many years prior. In FACT, because I even RECOGNIZED that he was so ALPHA MALE, I didn’t want to FEED him, NOR his ego. However, I had pretty much watched the VERILE ALPHA BOY grow UP into an AMAZING ALPHA MALE for over a decade.

 

I, honestly, had never previously met anyone quite like he. ALPHA MALES don’t merely beat their chests and yell “I’M STRONG” (although they LOVE to show off). But they LIVE it. They work HARDER, FASTER, and WISER than the majority. Thus somewhere in their psyche, they feel they quite proud and, perhaps, that they DESERVE to be noted (REWARDED) for their exceptional efforts and work ethic. ALPHA MALES often associate SEX as reward.

 

I suspect that Giacomo Casanova was, likely, an ALPHA MALE. Don Juan (fiction) was merely a lover. Casanova actually adored most women for their minds and strength, more-so than their bodies. His wordsmithing had become merely a TOOL that worked for he. He, too, made the sex ESCALATE! But THAT KIND OF SEX is only a TEMPORARY FILL to a void. I don’t see Leaf in QUITE the same light. Regardless, it seems to be WORKING for him. ENGUARD MEN!

 

My ALPHA MALE is one of the STRONGEST men I know. Also one of the most GIVING to others (so unalike my husband). My husband’s only TRUE DRIVE is making money. Wouldn’t one like to believe that after all these years together, that compassion might be discovered by my husband between his best friend & myself? Instead, my husband looks upon it as a WEAKNESS (as does my lover at given points in time)!! The difference being that my lover ATTEMPTS to embrace his weakness of GIVING, and turns GIVING into a STRENGTH.

 

So yes, as time went on, his words actually started to prey on my mind. Also I really BELIEVED that I might be being PLAYED, wondering if the TWO of THEM weren’t setting me up to see if I WOULD fall. “ NOT HAPPENING!”, I told myself. I was going to BEAT these TWO at their own game if that were the case.

 

This conman had provided me with great INSIGHT which gave me EXTRA CAUTION (that most women aren’t even aware of). I think the difference being that my husband’s best friend wasn’t after my money (verses the conman’s TARGET). Our friend really had nothing to gain (or so I THOUGHT). The sex is, no joke, incredibly INTOXICATING!

 

I’m ALSO not exaggerating that when I say that when our bodies merge, I feel POWER. A POWER like I’ve never KNOWN in my life (being a woman). It’s ENTHRALLING!

 

Now, you’ve got to know that it can’t REALLY be power. YET, I feel it, EACH & EVERY time. It’s almost AS IF his ALPHA MALE POWER is transferred. I know that sounds so far fetched. AND as I’ve explained to he, “It’s GOT to be manifested in my own state of mind”. I SURELY cannot explain it. But it’s REAL.” And it’s HUGE!!

 

You men are so LUCKY!! While we women try to be mentally strong, we are not physically strong. We do not normally experience that MALE power.

 

Having sex with my ALPHA MALE is like a SUPER drug (& incidentally, I’m also WEEPISH when it comes to alcohol & drugs). I don’t do drugs, and only drink upon A BLUE MOON, or special occasion, and very mildly. I’m a sipper (as I’m not USE to it), and have never wanted to lose my self-control. On one my birthday’s I ordered a LIGHT BEER. My children’s eyes about popped out of their heads. I told them it was OK. It was just ONE & daddy was driving us home.

 

In FACT, I can tell you this. My ALPHA MALE was the VERY FIRST TIME I had ever been with a man WITHOUT being under a small influence of alcohol. This had stemmed from my strict upbringing, I was always so inhibited (partially ashamed) to ALLOW a man see me without clothes on. Again, I was taught that, “Nakedness was dirty.” I was SEMI-ASHAMED of my nude body. I have taught MY CHILDREN better.

 

You see, after we had started verbally exploring the idea, my ALPHA MALE told me that he would NOT make love to me “under the influence”. It was his desire that I be FULLY AWARE of every sensation should I ever permit it. “With me, trust me, you won’t need it. The human body is one of the most beautiful things one’s eyes can envision.” Yes, he knew all the RIGHT THINGS to say.

 

Bingo! It took six weeks of my inability to get all of his wordsmithing OUT of my mind. Then one morning when he least expected it…I took he (it shocked him)! My lower body trembled in ecstasy. Unexpectedly, I softly said aloud, “xxxxx, (his name) please don’t ever leave me!” He, as well, couldn’t believe my trembling as he held me in his arms. “I” couldn’t believe the words that had escaped my lips. I’ve never allowed ANY MAN to think that I could live without him, and with PLEASE in it. Wow!! I was TOAST in his arms.

 

So yes, I LOSE CONTROL when I’m with him. ALL CONTROL. EVERY TIME. We have made love indoors, outdoors in the park during the day, and simply in places that I would NEVER have imagined, nor PERMITTED, myself to have possibly been (and/or possibly caught in such a compromising situation/place). I’m one of those NICE women. Yet, his words DRIVE ME to loss of self-control, over & over again.

 

It’s that WORDSMITHING thing that we give to one another, that makes the sex SOAR!!!

 

OF COURSE, being a woman, my initial desire was to possess he. But as time has gone by, I’ve found that it is not my TRUE DESIRE to marry he some day. I just want to enjoy what he gives to me. I feel blessed that we have one another. And he, I. It helps us each make it through those NOT SO GREAT days when REAL LIFE exists.

 

Anyhow, I’m just HAPPY to be loving him, and he, I. I really do “value” his love, even if there were to be NO SEX. I’m SURE that that time will arrive not too far down the road. It’s GOOD just being a part of one another’s lives. But I would NEVER want harm to come anyone because of it. I’m normally the one everyone comes to for advice. I’m normally the nurturer.

 

But I am an intelligent woman. This love is not TRUE TO FORM. At least, not mine. He’s unaware of this too (but nothing we ever speak of). He tells me that he loves me IN SPITE of my faults. If I were going to TRULY FALTER – to become divorced, I would WANT for a man who would love me FOR MY FAULTS. I’m realistic. I doubt that HE exists <LOL>.

 

Incidentally, I’m 5’2 and weigh 111 Lbs with a medium build (NOT top heavy, but proportioned wisely). I “inherited” my body build. Whenever I go places during the summer (sleeveless), Salesman always prompt me, asking if or WHERE, I work out. It’s almost embarrassing (but know to count my blessings).

 

I DO count my blessings, and DAILY. I thank God for my beautiful children, our home, family, wonderful friends, & comfortable finances.

 

AND at times, I wonder why God allowed me out on this limb. I’m not ENTIRELY sure how I got here. God always knew that I was His child.

 

LASTLY, please remember that we women DO seek out THE NICE GUYS (security) in our men. THEY are whom we want to marry and have a lifetime commitment with!!!

 

So guys - Just don’t neglect telling your ladies, and or wives, how beautiful they are in your eyes. It’s NOT weak. Telling her will give your marriages STRENGTH!! My husband's best friend has been telling my husband FOR YEARS that if he wouldn't give her the emotional support she needed, he would.

 

As my men tell me, “Trust NO MAN!”

 

GREEN EYES

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