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The Childrens Bible - By Brett Keane


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Ex-Christian Atheist Brett Keane asks the question in this six-minute video, "Why do we have 'Children's Bibles?'"

 

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I've always thought there should be a collection of children's bible stories that showcase stories like that. I always thought Numbers 31 would be a fun one.

 

Come on, let's name a few other stories that would be good for books like that!

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Any idea of a Children's Babble is sick. What's sicker is that they have to make Children's Babbles; they know they can't put the actual stories of blood, murder, and devestation the Abrahamic god is depicted engaging in, because they know kids will question and not want to buy into it. They need watered-down, mooshy BS versions, to hook kids when they're young.

 

The next time I visit my parents, I'm going to take my Children's Babble - and burn it. Would that the world would do the same, except to save one copy, so we never forget...

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I think the best example of watered down bible stories is Veggie Tales. They have to entirely twist those stories beyond recognition to make them palatable.

 

We sell that stuff at work. Quite possibly one of the most bizarre ideas I've ever encountered.

 

"We've got to teach children Christian values by a medium they'll relate to! Let's see, what do children like? ....... Oh, I got it! Vegetables!"

 

You would think teddy bears, penguins or perhaps even humans.......but no, vegetables. Great fucking brainstorm, Einstein. :rolleyes:

 

I always tried looking through children's Bibles for the really juicy stories, like Judah and Tamar (a case of biblical jacking off) and Jezebel. They were never there. A lot of times they entirely skipped the Song of Solomon, which is really a shame, because it's the only really enjoyable part of the Bible to me.

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