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*worry Worry Fret Fret*


Flyby Stardancer
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I have intro to writing poetry every Tues/Thurs afternoon, and it's a workshop class where we submit poems and the rest of the class critiques them. Well, we passed around our second round of poems last Thursday, to start critiquing tomorrow. I'm really worried about how the poem I submitted for this round will be recieved, though. When I wrote it, it came out as being very in-your-face anti-Chriatian, a lot more so than how my own personal opinions run. I still submitted it because it was the best poem I had written since we submitted the first round of poems, and I trust my classmates to be mature in handling it.

 

...So why the heck am I still so worried about it?! I bet none of the people who submitted religious-themed poems the first round ever worried about offending non-Christians in the class... And I have a good class... But yet I'm still worrying myself over it! ...Luckily I won't have to wait long. My poem ended up being second on the list, thus will be critiqued during class tomorrow for sure... But I still have knots in my stomach over it. :unsure:

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I'm not sure if we're allowed to post anything submitted to class online without the prof's permission, but since you all seem to want to see it...

 

"Unconditional Conditionals"

 

Christian soldiers marching on

the next Crusade for

the new Holy Land.

A dead forest of white covering the land;

Each tree the same, only two branches.

God blessed us, God smited us,

Raise the rally cry!

Ghostly enemies everywhere,

As real as drugged illusions; crossed

jewelry everywhere.

 

Where are the decent folk?

 

Good Father, hurt me, bleed me

for in being myself I have lost Your love.

Show me my wrongs with a switch.

Merciful Father, make me cry;

My tears are Your forgiveness.

All men are free so long as

they believe in You.

 

The quiet ones hide away,

Just doing as they are told;

Truly sheep to be herded.

Blind ones speak louder to be seen.

 

How can love exist in so much hate?

 

I speak but have no voice:

Their emotions overrule my logic.

They don’t want it to be, so it can’t

be the truth of life.

Wrapped in their security blanket,

Unknowing of the beauty

of things unconditional.

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Oh, you're gonna get fucked up... :mellow:

 

 

:HaHa:

 

 

Actually, I would be surprised if any believers would even catch the overall gist of the poem. I liked it myself. I liked it very much.

 

This is my favorite line ----> "Blind ones speak louder to be seen."

 

:woohoo:

 

 

Good luck with this.

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Wow, Flyby, that's a powerful piece of writing...I enjoyed that, but I will have to re-read it several times of course to get the full effect. (Poetry and literature aren't a strong suit with me).

As to any flack from it, hey...don't fret over that 'til it happens, if it ever does. Who knows? I wonder...did Whitman or Byron ever do any hand wringing over something they had written?

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Oh, you're gonna get fucked up... :mellow:

 

 

:HaHa:

Gee, thanks. :P

 

 

Actually, I would be surprised if any believers would even catch the overall gist of the poem. I liked it myself. I liked it very much.

 

This is my favorite line ----> "Blind ones speak louder to be seen."

 

:woohoo:

 

 

Good luck with this.

Well, some of the students in my class are very perceptive when it comes to the poems, including one of the ones that wrote one of the religous poems in the first round.

 

:D Thanks! I happen to like that line too.

 

Wow, Flyby, that's a powerful piece of writing...I enjoyed that, but I will have to re-read it several times of course to get the full effect. (Poetry and literature aren't a strong suit with me).

As to any flack from it, hey...don't fret over that 'til it happens, if it ever does. Who knows? I wonder...did Whitman or Byron ever do any hand wringing over something they had written?

It's a heck of a lot better than the poem I wrote for the first round of critiques. And I know I shouldn't worry about it...but I do. My mom's trained being a worry-wort into me.

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Back!

 

And it didn't go as bad as I were fearing. They all handled it quite maturely (except I have no clue about those who didn't speak up during class, and I haven't read all the responses yet). Some of them got the gist of what I was trying to say, others were a bit off base. Overall though, it was a bigger success than my last poem.

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I was really happy with it...

 

...Then I read all the pages of critiques. ARGH. They all conflict with one another and so many didn't get it... And I have no idea which ones didn't get it because their minds couldn't allow for the possibility, or if they didn't get it just because it wasn't clear.

 

..And one of the people I was most worried about being angry over the poem? She got it and liked the poem. Go figure.

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Have to say that this seems to be the kind of poem that has to be heard, very forceful. I like it. :goodjob:

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I was really happy with it...

 

...Then I read all the pages of critiques. ARGH. They all conflict with one another and so many didn't get it... And I have no idea which ones didn't get it because their minds couldn't allow for the possibility, or if they didn't get it just because it wasn't clear.

 

..And one of the people I was most worried about being angry over the poem? She got it and liked the poem. Go figure.

 

I know it's hard, but try not to worry about what they think. It's not your fault they don't get it. People have a tendency to misinterpret things, especially if they do not want to interpret it in the correct way.

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