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It Took Many Years...


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It took many years of not going to church, and a love of science, that undid all that conditioning I went through as a child and young adult.

 

My grandparents took my brother and me to church when we were children. Our atheist mother was fine with that because she got us away from her for a while. She wasn't the mother type. I believe Christianity filled some sort of void. Isn't that what cults tend to do for people? Anyway, I even went to Bob Jones University for two years. No one made me go. I was a good Christian girl and wanted to learn to be more spiritual, and find a good Christian husband. I even spent my own money on tuition and living expenses. After two years I had to stay out to pay off my bill. Got lonely. Met my future husband who considers himself to be a Christian, but doesn't go to church.

 

We dated, got serious, got sexual, got engaged, got married, became parents, and stayed away from church. Since my grandparents lived 600 miles away, it was easy to make them think we were churchgoers and I wouldn't have to listen to any lectures.

 

Time passed and I became a fan of The Discovery Channel, The Science Channel, The National Geographic Channel, etc., I just love science. Evolution seems quite reasonable. I even believed in theistic evolution for a while. What about the dinosaurs? And how did two of all the world's species fit into Noah's ark? Where did Cain's wife come from? Why was God concerned with people building the Tower of Babel? Why did God allow the killing of innocent people, especially children? Why were women treated like second class citizens? The Bible says, "There is no respect of persons with God." Yet males are obviously preferred over females, and God singles out a people, the Israelites, to be his special favorite. That makes no sense whatsoever. I could go on and on. It's amazing how much stuff I glazed over while studying the Bible at BJU. I learned a heck of a lot more about the Bible from TV and the internet.

 

RubyHypatia

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Hello RubyHypatia,

 

I need to respond to this post even if only because our names are so similar. I'd begun to wonder if Ruby is not a legitimate name since no one else used a name even close to it and a few jerks made fun of it. Now I know it's a real name. If you stick around folks will have to call me something else than just Ruby because it could mean you just as much as it means me.

 

You even are like me in some ways. I, too, had a thirst to learn and to better understand Christianity. I'm almost done with a graduate degree in theology. I had committed myself to doing what had to be done to improve my life situation. It led to seminary, very much against my choice. The amazing thing is that I love it.

 

I find it very interesting how many different ways people arrive at enlightenment. For you it was some really good solid educational TV programs. For me is was unanswered questions. When no Christian--not even the most highly educated, could tell me exactly HOW Jesus' death and resurrection helps us get into heaven I finally decided that question has no answer.

 

Christans will not accept that this is my reason for deconverting but they can't change facts by denying the facts they don't like. Life on this planet just doesn't work that way. Mostly I don't bother to even try to explain to them. I hope you feel at home here and are able to rest and heal.

 

RubySera

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I was a Xtain for 30 years. I went through the same thing. I remember watching shows on cave men on Discovery and thinking... Uh that's what Adam and Eve looked like? :P

 

Now I see the truth, I am much better off now. I enjoy learning more than ever. :eek:

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It took many years of not going to church, and a love of science, that undid all that conditioning I went through as a child and young adult.

 

My grandparents took my brother and me to church when we were children. Our atheist mother was fine with that because she got us away from her for a while. She wasn't the mother type. I believe Christianity filled some sort of void. Isn't that what cults tend to do for people? Anyway, I even went to Bob Jones University for two years. No one made me go. I was a good Christian girl and wanted to learn to be more spiritual, and find a good Christian husband. I even spent my own money on tuition and living expenses. After two years I had to stay out to pay off my bill. Got lonely. Met my future husband who considers himself to be a Christian, but doesn't go to church.

 

We dated, got serious, got sexual, got engaged, got married, became parents, and stayed away from church. Since my grandparents lived 600 miles away, it was easy to make them think we were churchgoers and I wouldn't have to listen to any lectures.

 

Time passed and I became a fan of The Discovery Channel, The Science Channel, The National Geographic Channel, etc., I just love science. Evolution seems quite reasonable. I even believed in theistic evolution for a while. What about the dinosaurs? And how did two of all the world's species fit into Noah's ark? Where did Cain's wife come from? Why was God concerned with people building the Tower of Babel? Why did God allow the killing of innocent people, especially children? Why were women treated like second class citizens? The Bible says, "There is no respect of persons with God." Yet males are obviously preferred over females, and God singles out a people, the Israelites, to be his special favorite. That makes no sense whatsoever. I could go on and on. It's amazing how much stuff I glazed over while studying the Bible at BJU. I learned a heck of a lot more about the Bible from TV and the internet.

 

RubyHypatia

Bob Jones University... oh Lawdy, Lawdy. I spent too many summers there as a teenager (national art finals in the Christian school circle, art camp, visiting two brothers attending, etc.) and can honestly say that I miss that campus not one iota. To clarify, the pink anc blue sidewalks are a myth but they might as well be true. On-campus dating is highly discouraged to the point that if a social gathering of two bodies of opposite genders is arranged, it must be attended by chaperones in a public place. They screen all media that you enter the campus with (ie. CD's, books, magazines, videos, etc.) to ensure that no secular material make it inside the Promised Land. The entire city of Greenville is comprised of Christians who either support or are supported by the university so there is absolutely no way to sneak off and be by yourself. Big brother is indeed watching you in Greenville, SC if you are enrolled at BJU.

 

If anyone else has horror stories of Bob Jones University I for one would LOVE to hear them. It's interesting and somewhat gratifying to hear others share bad experiences that involve a place that is too familiar to me.

 

My heart definitely goes out to you, RubyHypatia. I wouldn't subject anyone to an education at BJU, especially not someone who is struggling with their faith. That place is difficult enough for someone who is strong in their faith, I would imagine.

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Ok, I'll try this again (still trying to get used to these boards).

 

The worst part of attending BJU was being treated like a young teen who couldn't be trusted rather than the responsible young adult I was trying to be. There were many nice people there, but they couldn't make up for the bad experiences.

 

Thanks for all the nice comments. :thanks:

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