Rhia Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 I feel like such a tool. It's been just about three years since my deconversion. I haven't so much as stepped into a church since. (Exception will be my roommate's wedding in July...) I haven't listened to Christian music (exception of Christmas music forced into my ears by the malls) in all that time either. Yet I was sitting here today, and suddenly, my roommate starts playing a worship song! She tries not to when I'm in the room, even though I told her it's her room too. It accidently came on when she had iTunes on shuffle and left the room. Instantly, I felt the "guilt" that I had felt everytime I heard that song in a worship service all those years ago. The stupid song in question: "Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble?" by Delirious. Damned mediocre bands being signed because they're willing to moan about their damned living god! Soooo, do any of you have a song, album, or artist that's christian & worshippy in nature that either makes you cringe horribly, or starts bringing on the flashbacks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubilant Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Nope, not anymore that is. :-) However, a few months just before my deconversion (almost two years ago) I did feel a sense of loss in Walmart while listening to Silent Night. That was my year for not celebrating Christmas or any holidays because I thought they were wrong to celebrate with the pagan influence and all...now? Not even beloved Jesus Christmas songs bother me. BTW...LOVE your siggy line, those are beautiful eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exbeliever Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Soooo, do any of you have a song, album, or artist that's christian & worshippy in nature that either makes you cringe horribly, or starts bringing on the flashbacks? Definitely!!! And I feel like a tool when it happens. I was an associate pastor and one of my duties was to lead the "praise team" for all services. Sometimes I'll catch myself singing some horrid praise song (or I'll start playing one without thinking when I pick up my guitar) and I think, "What the fuck!" Not long ago, I had a Keith Green song on a loop in my head for three days straight. Every time I caught myself singing it, I would be pissed. I really hate that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Not being your stereotypical guy, I get emotional about certain music, writing, and even movies. I listen to christian radio for research and watchdog purposes. And yes, sometimes I'll hear a song come on and I still get emotional, though I don't typically listen when there's music on. I must admit though, that sometimes the emotion is anger or "Oh jeesus, that's so stupid," not "I'm gonna cry." We dumped 99% of the christian music out of our music library months ago, save for a few songs that we really liked musically and don't have a strong message (fundies would call them wishy washy). One song that gets to me sometimes, which is not necessarily a christian song (could be a love song) but christians "stole it" like they do a lot of music, is You Raise Me Up. I love Celtic Woman (orgasmic voices) and they sing it. I have it on CD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mick Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Do you remember the Keith Green Song, "Like waking up from the longest dream, how real it seemed?" That one I think about alot, except in the OPPOSITE direction! Coming out of the whole "Born Again LIe" is waking back up! Here's the thing for me with Christian songs, at least for now. They can't have the effect they used. I judge them immediately, almost like judging a Christian who does not know what the Bible really says about God and his behaviour. I'm like "this song is wrong!" like it's a teaching or something. All these praise songs are either sappy "love" songs to God, or their "I'm so unworthy and you are so Holy" worship songs. Both are utterly false! The God of the Bible, if he were real, would deserve to be overthrown!, not worshipped. The songs make me angry. I feel like such a tool. It's been just about three years since my deconversion. I haven't so much as stepped into a church since. (Exception will be my roommate's wedding in July...) I haven't listened to Christian music (exception of Christmas music forced into my ears by the malls) in all that time either. Yet I was sitting here today, and suddenly, my roommate starts playing a worship song! She tries not to when I'm in the room, even though I told her it's her room too. It accidently came on when she had iTunes on shuffle and left the room. Instantly, I felt the "guilt" that I had felt everytime I heard that song in a worship service all those years ago. The stupid song in question: "Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble?" by Delirious. Damned mediocre bands being signed because they're willing to moan about their damned living god! Soooo, do any of you have a song, album, or artist that's christian & worshippy in nature that either makes you cringe horribly, or starts bringing on the flashbacks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Music and entertainment media is definitely not about logic and reason. It is about word or picture images that evoke emotional responses. The success of a song, book or movie has a lot to do with its ability to evoke different mental images accross a distinctly different demographic. In other words, a love song that only makes gay men swoon would not be popular but if the author creates a word image that perhaps hints at gay men but can be interpreted in a hetrosexual way, then you have broadened your audiance. This is why songs like "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" or "Magneto and Titanium Man" are successful. Lyrically, the songs are largely vacuous and illogical. However, image wise they are rich... well not so much the McCartney tune but the Elton John tune is rich with image. One of my favourite quotes is this, "Anything too stupid to be said is sung". So what do we make of Christian music? They evoke emotion. A few years ago I watched a movie called Simon Birch who was a handicapped boy who believe god had a special purpose for his life. I really liked that movie and it moved me because of the imagary it evoked in me. Although in the movie, the boy wrapped god around his aspirations, it was his aspirations that moved me not whether he used the metaphor of god to express them. (Hmmm... god as a metaphor, interesting...) In other words, if we find ourselves caught up in the imagary of religious culture, while one should be careful not to let the emotion suck them in, our minds are relating to something we feel is true. Mongo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exbeliever Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Do you remember the Keith Green Song, "Like waking up from the longest dream, how real it seemed?" Goddamnit! That's the Keith Green song that I mentioned above. If if fucking start singing that again, I blame you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolyn the Red Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I still get shivers from "O Holy Night" and music from the Messiah. I've even been caught singing classical religious music under my breath at work. Powerful music, some attractive ideas (though I don't buy the reality of them). Music of my childhood, and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Only time that ever happens is when I accompany the parental units to the annual hostage situat- I mean midnight mass at the local church for xmas and hear the choir songs. When the choir sings the usual tunes (holy night, hark-angel sings, joy to the world) I get this nostaligia. Which makes me sick. Even worse if I hear the spanish versions of the songs. I grew up in central america, so all the church services I attended growing up were in that language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I got rid of all my Christian music (xcept for one CD by a Christian band where the songs mostly don't have a Christian theme). But, speaking of Keith Green, maybe if I listened to some of his stuff again, it could make me emotional - his Altar Call song made me feel that way. I think he's probably the best Christian music artist that's ever been around .. as for "Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble".. God if I heard that song again I think I would scream or something. Very cheesy song imo, but hey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Any songs still get you emotional? Depends. Is nausea an emotion? Most of those songs I actually listen to the lyrics now, and just get ill. They glorify personal helplessness, "battle", and nicely spun persecution of others. Now there is at least one song I do still like. I still like Jars of Clay 'Flood'. There are only 2 lines in the whole song that mark it specifically as spiritual.....look: Rain, rain on my faceIt hasnt stopped raining for days My world is a flood Slowly I become one with the mud Chorus: But if I cant swim after forty days And my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves Lift me up so high that I cannot fall Lift me up Lift me up - when Im falling Lift me up - Im weak and Im dying Lift me up - I need you to hold me Lift me up - keep me from drowning again Downpour on my soul Splashing in the ocean, Im losing control Dark sky all around I cant feel my feet touching the ground [chorus] Calm the storms that drench my eyes Dry the streams still flowing Cast down all the waves of sin And guilt that overthrow me [chorus] Lift me up - when Im falling Lift me up - Im weak and Im dying Lift me up - I need you to hold me Lift me up - keep me from drowning again Without those 2 lines, this is just another metaphorical secular love song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LookingGlass Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Not being your stereotypical guy, I get emotional about certain music, writing, and even movies. I listen to christian radio for research and watchdog purposes. And yes, sometimes I'll hear a song come on and I still get emotional, though I don't typically listen when there's music on. I must admit though, that sometimes the emotion is anger or "Oh jeesus, that's so stupid," not "I'm gonna cry." We dumped 99% of the christian music out of our music library months ago, save for a few songs that we really liked musically and don't have a strong message (fundies would call them wishy washy). One song that gets to me sometimes, which is not necessarily a christian song (could be a love song) but christians "stole it" like they do a lot of music, is You Raise Me Up. I love Celtic Woman (orgasmic voices) and they sing it. I have it on CD. I love Celtic Woman too! Though I never thought of their voices as orgasmic. One of the xtian artists did a version of "I need you" by faith hill. Faith did it better. Well, I admittedly still listen to xtian radio from time to time, but then I have to turn after awhile because it starts to bug me. It's self-inflicted torture. I listen to my skillet cd's every so often, and some worship songs still make me emotional. Like I heard "Blessed Be Your Name" the other day and I admittedly got a bit weepy. In other words, if we find ourselves caught up in the imagary of religious culture, while one should be careful not to let the emotion suck them in, our minds are relating to something we feel is true. Thanks for pointing that out, Mongo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 If I go to a church service I tear up. The combination gets to me, and I too kind of feel like a tool. I know xians would be all "oh the holy spirit is pulling on her heart" but I know a service is designed to pull on your emotions. :: shrug :: I just figure that what they are trying for, plus I'm programed to respond and I dno't think about it too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahgrace Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Like I heard "Blessed Be Your Name" the other day and I admittedly got a bit weepy. See, there's one song that'll get me emotional but not in the way it intended. I fucking HATE that song. Almost as much as I hate "Open the Eyes of my Heart". I especially hate it today... it's 2 years to the day that one of my dearest friends was killed in a car accident. At the memorial we had for her (and her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's sister) in chapel at school, they played this song over and over... it was as if honest grieving were disallowed, and we weren't allowed to express any negative feelings about the incident happening. SO FUCKING STUPID, and as I look back on it, one of the pivotal moments in my journey away from Christianity. Sorry, had to get that rant out. But back to the subject, A lot of Christian music makes me pretty angry still 'cause I'm going through the anger phase of deconversion. I hear these stupid repetitive trite meaningless 'worship' songs and get completely riled over how ridiculous they are. Hymns, on the other hand, I still find to be (for the most part) lovely songs, and instead of getting angry i generally get a bit nostalgic and momentarily miss being a part of the church. it's kind of irritating. I'm looking forward to the day when i can just hear the music for what it is, and the emotional associations are not so strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhia Posted February 27, 2007 Author Share Posted February 27, 2007 I guess part of the reason that the songs still bother me, three years later, is because my adoptive mother for such a long time tried to remind me of "the old me" that I had thrown away, by making me listen to it. When I was a Christian, I had such a huge collection of music, both Christian and "Secular", that I would often burn my mom cds for her car to listen to. She KNEW that after I deconverted I gave all my cds away to friends of mine, but she was so angry that she no longer had her perfect little Christian daughter, that she would play the cds I had made her over and over in the car. She would actually skip going home from errands that I would run with her and just drive, and play the music, thinking that if I heard the old songs I loved so much the holy spirit would "bring me back". The other song that still makes me want to cry: "Part of Me" by yfriday. To a vulnerable, teenaged girl who was quite emotionally tied to the experience of adoption especially by Christ, the lyrics were quite powerful. Now they just make me ill. I’m standing in the rainWaiting for the clouds to show Still rising from the flames That burned me when I took Your name You’ve placed Your seal upon us Heirs of Your holy promise Your Spirit meets us here In hope we share Your suffering With praise receive Your offering Adopted into You I’m part of You, You’re part of me Can’t be shaken from Your hand I stand for You, You stand by me When my faith’s like shifting sand I long for You, You long for me To be drawn unto Your side A Father and His child I’ll never know the pain That nails and separation brings Yet You delight as we Change from beggars into kings You’ve poured out love upon us Casting the shadows from us You’ve come and bleached my stain Reflecting on Your suffering Not worthy of this offering Adoption into You I’m part of You, You’re part of me Can’t be shaken from Your hand I stand for You, You stand by me When my faith’s like shifting sand I long for You, You long for me To be drawn unto Your side A Father and His child I know I’m in the Father With Jesus in the Father I know I’m in the Father I know that the Father’s in me I know I’m in the Father With Jesus in the Father I know I’m in the Father I know the Father’s in me Part of me! BTW- I also LOVE Celtic Woman! (Women?) Their voices are GORGEOUS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junkpoet Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I still get shivers from "O Holy Night" and music from the Messiah. I've even been caught singing classical religious music under my breath at work. Powerful music, some attractive ideas (though I don't buy the reality of them). Music of my childhood, and all that. music of my childhood. gets me to thinking. i grew up in the church of christ. so all we had was vocal music. no instuments. i was actually the song leader in my church from the age of 6 until i went away to college. my father was the preacher (he cant carry a tune in a bucket), my mom was/is a gifted singer. and a damn good piano player. of course, as i already said, they did not allow musical instruments in the c of c. but she taught me a little piano and got me started on guitar. today i am a singer in a crappy little bar band. sometimes i go over to mom's and jam. she is still a church of christ christian so we dont play church songs. we play crystal gayle and john denver and stuff like that. i love to hear her sing harmonies. hearing her blend her voice with mine remindes me of childhood and church. it does make me emotional. but it is about my mom and music, not god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curtdude Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I still like Bob Bennett's music and some of the more folk-rock crunchy tunes of the late 70s early 80s Jesus music scene. Kelly Willard tuned up some real pretty music, too. Like the rest of you, I see through intellectually what's being said in the music ("Love God or Burn In Hell blah blah blah"), but music is an emotion. And we respond emotionally to the memories songs bring back to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotBlinded Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Well, The Old Rugged Cross will bring up emotions because my Grandmother loved it and it was played at her funeral. So, it's not really the song but the association. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 In a way, a very few songs with christian themes do make me want to cry tears of joy. Of course, these are songs by Enya, and many of her songs have that effect on me, regardless of what their lyrics say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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