Max Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I was reading through the "Favorite Reasons/excuses" thread, and I saw that someone had used the word "backslid" and it got me to musing about one of my oldest gripes. There are all sorts of words bandied about in churches which have definitions that are not quite clear, or seem to vary with context. Like "backslide," that implies you're going back to somewhere you've already been, which isn't usually the case. (Well, maybe for Pentecostals...) Some other goodies are: Redeemed: Has jesus traded us in for face value? What have we been swapped for? Helpmeet: As in "Eve was made to be Adam's helpmeet," so that is the purpose of women on earth forever. Come on - it's not even a real word! Who are we meeting, anyhow? Submit: As in, "Wives should submit to their husbands." How many carbon copies should we include? Bless: God blesses us (if we're lucky), but we bless supper. I saw a sign somewhere for the blessing of bicycles. Ashes and crackers sometimes get blessed. How can one thing be so huge and simultaneously so trivial? Righteous indignation: Pissed off, but to chicken to admit it. Just: As in god is a "just" god. Sounds like they mean he's fair, but they're really warning that he's vindictive. I know this is just the tip of the iceberg. Anyone want to contribute more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Sin- Just about anything you think or do is a sin. Even think wrong of God he will kill ya all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Love. As in, the kind of obligational love you are supposed to feel towards everyone, even people who treat you like dirt. Peace, as in that fluffy-bunny, happy feeling all Christians are supposed to feel, but most don't ever actually feel that way because they are too afraid of hell, but most of them pretend to feel it anyway and will never admit to not feeling it. Forgiveness, as in pretending something didn't happen when it did, and pretending to love the person who hurt you when you don't. Bless, as in what we say when something good happens to make ourselves believe that goddidit. Never heard of the helpmeet thing before. Is that new? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Faith- believing in something that you know is not true or possible. Such as God/ Santa/ World Peace and ect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 God is Love. If a god is just a human emotion, then why bother worshiping it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Holy Spirit- something else added to the God theology and Christian teachings. It is like a mystical force that will guide you through life if you deny Jesus/God (who cares who?) The Holy spirit will leave you and it will torment you and you will feel horrible. Once you deny this spirit it can never come back , thats what I learned in church anyway how it works. This spirit is something that is a guide what realistically is our human conscience. Which is nicknamed " Holy Spirit." Also if this Holy Spirit is so real why are all we here now? it should have stopped from questioning my savior Evil- The black and white logic of Christianity, either you are good or evil, for God or against God, either gay or straight. Anything that is evil is something that opposes God....however who created evil in the first place? GOD in the first place did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 God- what is it? job title? a noan, a prober noan, a pro-noan? Maybe it's a verb as in being godlike? Seriously dude, how do I worship God if you can't really tell me what god is? Spirit? flesh, gas??? Imaginary friend? Anything and everything you can't explain? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxic Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 How about "relationship with God/relationship with Jesus/know God" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 A little while before my deconversion I had the following conversation with another christian. I'd just outlined a difficult situation I was in and his advice to me was that I should 'Plead the blood of the lamb'. I commented that I didn't really know what this meant and sought clarification. He attempted to explain himself by emphasising different words in the phrase ... Him: Plead the blood of the lamb Me: But what does that mean? Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: no, I'm not grasping what you are saying ... Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: but what does that mean in practical terms? Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: ?????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 How about the biggest one of all? God's love is unconditional If that's true, than I don't have to be a believer, or in fact do anything to get to heaven. Unconditional means unconditional!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotBlinded Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 A little while before my deconversion I had the following conversation with another christian. I'd just outlined a difficult situation I was in and his advice to me was that I should 'Plead the blood of the lamb'. I commented that I didn't really know what this meant and sought clarification. He attempted to explain himself by emphasising different words in the phrase ... Him: Plead the blood of the lamb Me: But what does that mean? Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: no, I'm not grasping what you are saying ... Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: but what does that mean in practical terms? Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: ?????? That's too funny Alice...sad, but funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leftofpunk Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Fellowship I always hated the word Fellowship. When you hear it, sometimes it's by itself and it just means like having friends...then why don't they just say they like the friendships? Other times it's used with other words like "I like church for the social aspect and fellowship." It means the same thing! It's redundant and in general it seems like only christians used it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eponymic Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 A little while before my deconversion I had the following conversation with another christian. I'd just outlined a difficult situation I was in and his advice to me was that I should 'Plead the blood of the lamb'. I commented that I didn't really know what this meant and sought clarification. He attempted to explain himself by emphasising different words in the phrase ... Him: Plead the blood of the lamb Me: But what does that mean? Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: no, I'm not grasping what you are saying ... Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: but what does that mean in practical terms? Him:Plead the blood of the lamb Me: ?????? That's the sad typical situation when someone doesn't have all the information themselves, so they just repeat themselves like a robot that's overloaded. Error, error, error, error... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Rededicate: They needed to call the revitalization of cognitive dissonance something that didn’t sound like what it really is. Christians do this ALL the time. Whenever the emotional “high” wears off, or even when they just need attention from their peers, they “rededicate” themselves to da lawd. This word is also used often in conjunction with that other favorite already mentioned “backsliding”. If the emotional “high” wears off, instead of realizing their euphoria is self produced via their own body’s neurotransmitters….they assume THEY have done something “wrong” to make the sensation fade. Uncertainty sets in. Did they unknowingly sin and forget to ask for forgiveness, causing the “holy spirit” (also already mentioned) to leave them? Are they still “saved”? Or does the firey pit now await? Maybe they "backslid"? Better Make Sure….and here is where “rededicating” comes into play. It’s just a superstitious act. Like rubbing a rabbit's foot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llwellyn Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Christians use the word "LOVE" a lot, but have very little idea what the word means. "God loves me!" "Oh really, what does that mean?" "It means that God provided a propitiation for my sins by dying on the cross!" "Where does love come in? What does it mean." "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins!" That's when I start backing away slowly and hopes that person doesn't take it in his mind to "love" me according to how that word is defined within the Biblical abyss of confusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 1. Judgement Day. I've heard some xians say that xians who are saved at the moment of death won't even have to attend. I've heard others say that we'll all have to hear god's judgement, but jebus will be there to testify in our behalf, and we'll be found "not guilty". Some xians say our accuser will be satan, others say it will be god himself who will examine us for our sins. What's the REAL story? 2. The "Lord's Supper" If he's "the lord" why does he need to eat? And as for the xians huddled in their pews, a 3/8 inch square of bread or cracker and a teaspoon of grape juice is barely enough to keep a cockroach alive, so where's the "supper"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Blessing: A word to be used liberally to maintain a facade that Jeebus makes your life wonderful Praise the Lord: Fluff words to continually interject as a constant reminder everybody else that you are a CHRISTIAN. Lukewarm: You're not in church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night, and you use the terms "blessing" and "Praise the Lord" fewer than 100 times per hour. Rebellious: A term used for new agers, agnostics, atheists, apostates, methodists, and, anytime they don't live up to your whim, your teenager, your small child, and your parakeet. Rebuke: A way to express disapproval of something in a way that accentuates your self-righteousness (usually pawning off Satan as the target of your rebuke). Name of Jesus: Heightens your piety and impact as a CHRISTAIN. Children are a blessing, praise the lord, but my son is just lukewarm. He's become so rebellious that he went to see an R rated movie. Let's pray and rebuke Satan's influence on him in the Name of Jesus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Repent: Unless you repent you won't get to heaven used by the same person in a different context and situation: We all are such terrible sinners. Not one of us is righteous before God. I think: Well, for starters, quit your sinning, repent and believe. Then quit your whining and just be sure to live a better life. I tried once to discuss this idea and got shut down immediately. When it's the time of year to prepare baptismal candidates (for "voluntary" adult baptism of people between age 16 and 20; if you don't "submit" to baptism by the time you're twenty you can look elsewhere for social contacts), or if it's just before communion, there is all this emphasis on repentence. Make a hundred, eighty degree turn. We've all done all out remorse and repenting stuff. Now it is time to exhalt God's righteousness, and now "We are all such terrible sinners. We all fail all the time to measure up to what God wants of us......every single one of us is like this, myself included...in fact I'm about the worst of sinners but I always try..... What God Wants: Somehow, some people get to read the Bible and claim to know exactly what God wants...I think this was discussed above. What I don't get in that one is, we barely know what we want for our own selves. How in the name of all that's holy do we presume to know what god wants??? Oh I get it. These same people also impose on me what I want and what my motives are. That would be great on those days when I barely know myself, except it's always so utterly negative that no self-respecting person could accept it. Yep, that must be it. They know all about god and everyone else, most of all me, so they get to preach it far and wide. Just don't ever point out the inconsistencies of it all if you know what's good for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Holy facking hell, one of the things I hate the most about Xians (particularly of the Evangelical stripe) is how they rewrite the dictionary to suit their own agendas. It drives me up the damn wall! Things like: Promote: To acknowledge the existence of. To talk about openly. Tolerate: To be forced to adopt a morality you don't agree with against your will. Intolerant: Someone who won't let us impose our morality on them against their will. Persecution: Anytime anybody attempts to force their morality on us against our will. Anytime somebody objects to us forcing our morality on them, marginalizing them, or treating them like second-class citizens, and fights back. Anytime anybody who doesn't believe the same thing we do talks publicly about their beliefs. Anytime anybody criticizes us or our religion. Lifestyle: Same-sex attraction. Immoral: Anything other than vanilla sex performed by a straight Xian married couple (who were both virgins on their wedding night), for the primary purpose of having as many children as Gawd intends. Or just anything we don't like or find icky. Atheistic: Nihilistic. Darwinism: Abiogenesis and the belief that we descended from monkeys. Elect: Those of us going to heaven. Whore: Any woman you find sexually attractive. Etc. etc. etc., ad nauseum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 How about "relationship with God/relationship with Jesus/know God" Born again! Found Christ! Prayed all my life,,,don't know where the fuck he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Tongues of fire - Figurative? Or were there really little flames above their heads (shouldn't this have been cause for great alarm?) Illustration - Commonly used during sermons to ensure that we walk away with the preacher's interpretation of a scripture and never our own. (Wasn't the holy spirit supposed to guide us into all truth?) Deceived - Me (at least according to them) Love - Intolerance, prejudice, abandonment, false accusations, slander, and hatred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Tongues of fire - Figurative? Or were there really little flames above their heads (shouldn't this have been cause for great alarm?) Illustration - Commonly used during sermons to ensure that we walk away with the preacher's interpretation of a scripture and never our own. (Wasn't the holy spirit supposed to guide us into all truth?) Deceived - Me (at least according to them) Love - Intolerance, prejudice, abandonment, false accusations, slander, and hatred My wife once said "You have a tongue of fire!" Says it was heaven! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 "Glorified." Let me explain. We're told that Jesus, after his resurrection, was capable of walking through walls with his physical body because the physical body was "glorified." What?! WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?! Is that a technical term or something? We need to find out what "glorified" means. You've got to provide an explanation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanaslove Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 FellowshipI always hated the word Fellowship. When you hear it, sometimes it's by itself and it just means like having friends...then why don't they just say they like the friendships? Other times it's used with other words like "I like church for the social aspect and fellowship." It means the same thing! It's redundant and in general it seems like only christians used it. And here I thought I was the only one that disliked that word. I hear that word and I cringe. Secret definitions: 1. People you dislike but hang around with anyway because they are "brothers and sisters in Christ". 2. People who pull you back in when you realize the religion is a joke. And yea, I think only Christians use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Propitiation - WTF? I can't even pronounce it right! I thought it had something to do with jesus standing in the gap. But just to be clear, I checked Wikipedia: In Christianity, Propitiation is a theological term denoting that by which God is rendered propitious, i.e., that 'satisfaction' or 'appeasement' by which it becomes consistent with His character and government to pardon and bless sinners. The propitiation does not procure his love or make him loving; rather, it renders it consistent for him to exercise his love towards sinners Again, WTF? This is the kind of nonsense definition I would have come up with too if I had no clue what I was talking about!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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