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The Pain Of Deconversion


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I spend so much of my time researching, and being angry about the lie, that I forget that something very profound and dramatic has happened in my heart this past year.


I am home sick today. My wife is in the kitchen playing and singing worship songs. Usually I just get mad at such things. However, I am feeling a deep sense of pain this morning. She is playing that song "I never knew how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross..."


That song was one that I used to tear up when singing "praising Yahweh" ya know?


I think it is easy to forget how important my all-loving (unBiblical) all-merciful (unBiblical) Imaginary friend was to my pysche.


At times I think I need to be focusing more on the recovery than the debate. Has anyone gone to any kind of religious addiction recovery ounseling? Does such a thing exist?

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Has anyone gone to any kind of religious addiction recovery ounseling? Does such a thing exist?


I never went through any kind of counseling, but I think it does exist (although, not by the name "religious addiction recovery").


I've recommended Marlene Winell to people in the past (and I know that at least one of them contacted her). I know very little about her (and I don't know her personally), but the little that I do know seems impressive.


I'm not sure, but I think she might be involved with this website in some way. I found a few posts of hers on the main blog.


She also has her own site.


I was told that she can set up telephone counseling and that she is good about linking people up with other ex-christians.


If she's here, maybe she can send you a PM.



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Yes there are a few counselors who work with people recovering from religious abuse. I was told of one who works in this area and also in the US--both sides of the border. I'm not sure about exChrisitans other than Marlene Winnel. (It might not be exactly safe for them to advertise openly.) In my observation some religion is harmful and some is not. Depends largely on the personalities involved. If you get a hypersensitive person like me under the domination of hyper-control freaks preaching hell and damnation, you're going to end up with a case of religious abuse. I think one of the worst crimes known to humanity is abuse justified with religion.


Religion does not have to be this way and for many people it isn't. Maybe those cases are especially painful in deconversion for the very reason mick stated. I think you're talking about the grief of a lost relationship, mick. You might want to study up on grief. Or perhaps a grief counselor would be helpful. You'd have to find one who is sympathetic to deconversion.

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Hi my friend!

I think some sort of grief counseling would definitely help you if you see fit to do so. Any loss in our life, or change, EVEN if it is a NECESSARY change or good change still elicits some form of grief.

I went through a sense of grief and loss myself and can relate completely.


Either the case, I believe this is completely normal and I applaud you for taking care of yourself enough to look into options to futher help yourself.


Coping with a change or loss in a previously strong belief system is exteremely hard and everyone reacts to it differently. It is probably multiplied by the fact that you still have exposure to it in your home and relationship with your wife and family.


Hugs to you, my friend on this journey of discovery. :wub:

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