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Fear


robbie
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Hey. :)

 

I'm sure I'm not the only one who, after leaving Christianity, occasionally feels a fear that I could be wrong. I can't honestly say I've totally made up my mind on God, or religion, or even Christianity, though at the moment I'm pretty certain I'm through with organised religion for good.

 

But I realise that I feel a lot of hatred towards fundamentalism and fundamentalists, and that I find myself thinking and saying that I hate all religion, or Christianity, or Christians or God or whatever. Now, that's not really true, I just get so infuriated by the religious right that I'm driven to such attitudes.

 

I can almost understand my hatred and anger towards some things...I must admit I'm quite argumentative and opinionated, and though I can accept that people think differently to me, I find it extremely hard to tolerate utter bullshit like 'homosexuality is a choice' or 'evolution is a lie'.

 

But I also feel quite a lot of hate for traditional, organised religion in general, and am tending towards being repulsed by any religious talk whatsoever. I find myself seriously irked by religious people.

 

But then I also have this real fear that maybe I find myself unwillingly hating religion and Christianity because I know it's right. Like I've subconsciously over-compensating by mocking it, or that my anger is jealousy because they have found the truth and can deal with it.

 

And then I find myself terrified by parts of the bible or by religious people that talk about how people of darkness, fools, followers of the world, followers of satan, reprobates, whatever, hate the light because they live in darkness. And despise what is good because they are evil and delight in evil. It seems to fit.

 

I guess I could deal with it if I could say that my belief system is a positive thing in itself. But I'm not sure I can. Though consciously I'm an agnostic humanist, I'm finding it hard to remain moderate and not simply base my beliefs on rebellion against something, namely Christianity.

 

How can I find peace? Deep down I do believe that there is some good to be found in all religions, and I am somewhat spiritual. But I find it hard not to be consumed by hate for religion, and now, when I think of religion or anything religious I feel a sort of revulsion. How can I be sure that's not because they're right, and I'm evil?

 

Sorry for the long post!

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Robbie.

 

I believe that we have met on that other forum -- "Christian Forums."

 

There really is no reason to worry about Christianity. Christian theology about "divine vengeance," "the atonement," and "justification by faith" is horseshit through and through. There are some very basic critiques of Christianity that show that it is merely silly and not frightening.

 

There are, however, some very good alternatives to Christianity which, if you consider what it is they teach, will provide you more and more confidence that you have made the right decision in discarding your cognitive trash of Christianity.

 

Platonic theism is a great alternative to Christianity. The Platonist prays: "I pray that he [God] will impose upon me a just retribution, and the just retribution of him who errs is that he should be set right." Don't worry about God's petty vindictiveness -- it doesn't exist.

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Are you going to let yourself be ruled by fear? If there is a cruel and vengeful god who's going to send billions of his children to Hell, is he really worthy of our love? I judge him and find him guilty.

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Keep questioning, searching, wondering. But find moments of peace from it, too. You might go to more movies or do anything completely unrelated to your current upheaval.

 

You don't strike me as one who lives in darkness, Robbie. Maybe you're just squinting against the brightness of your new light.

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To get through the "what-if" fear, I pondered the nature of possible gods. The more I think about it, the harder it is to conceive of a punishing, petty deity like the Biblical tyrant.

 

Think about it this way: Humanity "discovered" gods to inspire us and help us deal with tough patches. What possible help or inspiration can we get from some evil S.O.B. who's essentially a cloud-squatting serial killer?

 

Yahweh, and all similar "worship-or-burn" deities, represent the very worst of the worst of humanity's nightmares. I trust that the gods are at least as compassionate, wise and sane as the average mortal. To think otherwise would slander both us and them.

 

As for dealing with actual fear in its mental and physical aspects, the only thing that works for me is to confront it and sit with it... After a while it loses its bite.

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I think many of us have fear on some level that hell is real after all. If you do a search on this site for the word hell you should come up with a few discussions on this topic. Here are a few to get you started:

 

Fear Of Hell

 

Fear Of Hell - Let's Talk!, Did you / do you fear hell? Why? How much?

Number Of People Fucked Up Over Hell Doctrine Pisses Me Off

 

Divine Vengeance/hell -- How Often Do You Ruminate?

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