Amethyst Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 So this weekend, I was talking to my stepmom on the phone, and she said condescendingly, "Be careful of what groups you join." WTF? I am 31 years old, not 13. She always says stupid things like that to me though, as if I have no brain of my own. So I sent her an e-mail this morning telling me that she had hurt my feelings, and that I need to find friends with whom I have things in common with, regardless of whether or not she approves, and that those friends most likely will not be religious, and that I was thinking of finding a secular humanist group to meet people. I also said that I figured she would not approve, but I have to be who I am. I cannot be who I'm not. She brushed me off with the "I can't read personal e-mails at work excuse." She sends me personal e-mails all the time!!! So it's perfectly fine for her to e-mail me, but for me to not e-mail her? Or when the subject gets uncomfortable for her, to just brush me off? Arrrrgh!!! And she wonders why I don't tell her stuff all the time. Well, gee, maybe it's because she overreacts whenever I do tell her stuff. *Head desk* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I think it's a parent thing. Seems like most of them never DO get over seeing you as 13. My mother does the same thing to me all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuroikaze Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I get the same thing from my parents, they say they want to be a closer family (and I would really like that too) and they want me to be more open with them, but when I tell them stuff, they either get defensive, or tell me I'm wrong....or sometimes they simply brush the whole thing under the rug and pretend I never said anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I see this generational thing just a little differently. Guess that's because I raised my now-grown daughter with an atheist-humanist upbringing and she decided to become the wife of a passive-aggressive charismatic Episcopal priest. Grandkids in the mix, too. Sometimes (well... often...) I'm not entirely sane and gracious about the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 So this weekend, I was talking to my stepmom on the phone, and she said condescendingly, "Be careful of what groups you join." WTF? I am 31 years old, not 13. Oh well, she does have the right to want to give you advice. Of course you also have the right to say "no thanks" and she should respect that... She brushed me off with the "I can't read personal e-mails at work excuse." She sends me personal e-mails all the time!!! Important rule of life: "Your excuse shalt not be too shitty. One should at least need IQ 50 to see through it". Of course one needs IQ 50+ herself to understand that rule. Hard to achieve if you threw out your brain and stuffed babble pages into the void. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Important rule of life: "Your excuse shalt not be too shitty. One should at least need IQ 50 to see through it".Of course one needs IQ 50+ herself to understand that rule. Hard to achieve if you threw out your brain and stuffed babble pages into the void. Well, to give her credit, she doesn't believe in it literally. She's one of the Christian-in-name-onlys who go to church for a social life and has a few lingering superstitions. But still, that was a dumb excuse on her part. I even offered to give her a gmail invite for personal stuff, but she declined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I don't know if this is any comfort but a person does not have to be a step-relative to act this way. The good side about having a step-relative doing it, as I see it, is that you can at least tell yourself that a real (read biological) relative would not do it. In the real world, some biological relatives do treat each other horribly while some step-relatives have excellent relationships. Anyway, she's bahaving badly, if that is any comfort to you. How old was she when she became your step-mother? As old as you are now? or younger? or older? Some parents have a habit of forgetting that they made equally major decisions at our age or younger. If they lived to regret their decisions they will blame it on their youth and lack of parental guidance--which really gives their argument weight. If they don't, it's irrelevant and we're not supposed to notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts