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Goodbye Jesus

Jesus Is Lord!


Brother Jeff

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During my two months or so away from here, I again recommitted my life to Jesus Christ! Glory to God!

 

I want to share the Gospel with you in a way that I think you can understand, and I pray that the Holy Spirit will bless my words and use me to reach you.

 

First, let's establish the existence of God. That's easy. All you have to do is go look out the window or look at yourself in the mirror. When you see the evidence for design, you know that there is a God. What remains then is to figure out who God is.

 

Fortunately, He wrote a book using about 40 authors over a period of about 1500 years. That book is the Bible! It has His fingerprints all over it! It is scientifically and historically accurate, plus it contains a great deal of fulfilled prophecy.

 

In the beginning - about 10,000 years ago - God created the heavens and the earth. He then created plants, animals, and mankind in six 24-hour days - no evolution needed! Hallelujah! At first, everything was great, or as God said, it was "very good". But, it wasn't to last. Adam and Eve unfortunately listened to Satan, ate the forbidden apple, and fell into sin. Sin is disobedience to God's will, and we all have a tendency to do it because of Adam and Eve's original sin.

 

God knew that we would need a Redeemer, and He sent Himself in the form of Jesus 2000 years ago. As was foretold in the Bible, Jesus died for our sins on the cross and rose again so that we could be saved by believing in Him. He ascended to Heaven soon after His resurrection, and He has been living there ever since with His Father. He will be coming back very soon to judge the world and take believers to Heaven to be with Him forever. Unbelievers will be killed and then go to Hell. But God won't be sending them there. They will be sending themselves there because they rejected God's free gift of salvation in Jesus Christ.

 

God will create a new heavens and a new earth after burning the old ones, and then believers will live happily ever after with God while everyone else roasts in Hell.

 

If you haven't accepted Christ yet, you can do so right now! Just pray this:

 

Dear God,

 

I know that I am a sinner and that I deserve to burn in Hell forever. I thank you for sending Jesus to die on the cross so I wouldn't have to do that, though. I ask you into my heart and into my life. Please save me, Lord Jesus! Thanks! Amen!

 

Glory!

 

Just kidding. :HaHa:

 

I'm not really a Christian again.

 

It's nice to be back, and I enjoyed my vacation from the Net very much! How is everybody?

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Welcome back.

 

I'm sure things are just peachy in Anchorage, Alaska.

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Gawd strewth, y'had me worried there for a minute! Glad to have you back.

Casey

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JEFFFERS, YOU KRAZIE BASSTURD!!!!!

 

 

Crapped my shorts ya bastagte!

 

Glad to see ya back slaying electrons amigo!

 

kL

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jeff.

DONT DO THAT!

I had the whole battalion on deck, ready to sanatize the continent.

Dont ever do that again.

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JEEEEEFFFF!!!! :vent: YOU GOT ME!

 

Good to see you, man. I hope everything is good with you. :wave:

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:Hmm:

 

It is so NOT fair that you can't give noogies over the net, you you you cheeky little monkey! :HaHa:

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Meanwhile, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it read that post was "Oh, no, not again!"

 

*cough*

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-spanks Brother Jeff with a riding crop- Welcome back

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Hahaha! Brother Jeff! You disappeared shortly after I joined this glorious forum but I have missed you! Glad to see you back. You're entertaining.

 

You didn't have me fooled for a minute though. ;) Shoulda waited a week and made it an April Fool. :D

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Ha ha. You had me going Jeff. Welcome back!

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Just kidding. :HaHa:

 

I'm not really a Christian again.

 

Damn it Jeff! :vent:

 

:HaHa:

 

It's nice to be back, and I enjoyed my vacation from the Net very much! How is everybody?

 

Quite fine, thanks. How's it going on your side?

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Kidding? So I just prayed that prayer for nothing?

 

Damn.... :49:

 

LOL

 

Dude - your sense of humor is greatly encouraging! Glory!

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Look at your calendar, Jeff - it isn't April 1st yet! :nono:

 

But welcome back, ya crazy fuck :wave:

 

Glorah! :HaHa:

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Hey Jeff,

 

Glad to see you back!

 

Taph

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You're a bad boy! I don't know you but I like you already! :grin:

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It's good to see you bro'.

 

Regards

 

Stew

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Hehe...if the newcomers to the forum only knew the story why the oldtimers freaked out a bit....

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Hehe...if the newcomers to the forum only knew the story why the oldtimers freaked out a bit....

 

Well, I am curious. :grin:

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It's wonderful to have you back and great to see you!! I must admit I thought the same as most, you got me! :HaHa: How's things going?

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Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ Almighty that was a bit of a scare!

 

Welcome back!

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What’s left to say that has not already been said? Several days ago I looked at the opening post and got so weirded out I scrolled way down to the responses to see WHAT IS GOING ON. I got the picture. The whole thing’s a joke. So I settled down to read.

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Oops! I see Jeff posted only yesterday so it could not have been "several days ago" that I first saw his post. Sorry about that. In my mind, time is not necessarily measured in hours and days, but rather by events. I should have said "several events ago...."

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Well Brother Jeff, maybe a few short words are in order to enlighten our newbies who don't know the background of our worries?

 

I'd do it myself but I think without you giving your OK it would be damn impertinent for me to tell them... :scratch:

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