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Evangelist Tossing As An Xtreme Sport


Astreja
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*ding dong*

 

I extract myself from a snuggle of very warm cats... Caramon, Raistlin, Walter, and Qat. Rolling over, I glance at the digital clock on the nightstand.

 

10:16 a.m.

 

On a Saturday morning, no less.

 

Okay, I grumble: I'll play. My feet hit the floor, and I grab for a fluffy white bathrobe as I dash for the stairs. Other cats scatter before me.

 

As I unlock the door and step out onto the front porch, my suspicions are confirmed: Two clean-cut young men, one Caucasian, one Oriental, holding magazines and what I presume are Bibles.

 

Angry valkyrie approaches screen door just as one of the intruders starts to open his mouth.

 

"You are trespassing on my property. Evangelists are not welcome on this property. Please put me on your blacklist."

 

And then back into the house, watching as the young man retreat past the Big Blue Dragon at the corner of the front walk.

 

Elapsed time: 58.6. :woohoo: That should be good for a silver, at least.

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Ha! I had you beat a long time ago. '93 or 4, couple of JH's came to my door, I had just rolled out of bed, unshaven, wearing only my boxers. Couple of really cute honeys handing out Watchtowers, my oogling eyes surely conveyed that what was on their mind was not what was on my mind. "Oh, we must have come at a bad time, we'll come back when it's more convenient for you." "Anytime, sweet tits."

 

No more than 40 seconds, didn't count really, they never came back.

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Good for both of you. :) My favorite is a story from another board where a guy is cleaning a sword when the fundies come knocking. He douses the sword in ketchup, answers the door all wild-eyed and says something like "We're not done sacrificing the virgin yet...come back later."

 

He didn't mention how long it took them to vacate, but it must have been pretty damn quick.

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Personal best? About 35 seconds...

 

 

15 secs to get to the door... 5 secs to open it, see who's there and tell them to fuck off... 15 secs to get back to my PC. By the time I was back, they'd gone. (next door, true... but that's not my problem. Besides the neighbour at the time was a total Jesus Freak)

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My personal best was approx 35 seconds. I was in the bathroom dying my hair (a nice, flaming, light auburn that looked blood red on the bits that touched my skin) and I had it about half done, so I looked like a crazy mess in only jeans and a bra- the door bell went off, and I opened the door, stepped outside, looked down at my very red hands and asked: "any of you know how to remove blood stains?" the 2 witness girls (one older and younger) as well as the 1 boy who must've been only 11 or so didn't say a word, so I turned around, went back inside, and locked the door, laughing at the open-mouthed looks of shock on their faces.

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My fave story: Two fundie evanelicals rang my doorbell while I was in the middle of getting dressed. I peeped thru the hole, saw it was xtians, and opened the door in my frilly girly underwear, and asked the two ladies if they'd come to join in!

The shock on their faces was priceless......

I'm not sure exactly how long it took, surely no more than 30 or 40 seconds before they started beating a path to the gate!

roflmao

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