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I Am Seeing Double


Ramen666
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Please work with me on this:

 

Ok this is probably an awkward post but work with me because I confused myself about this issue. I know these two girls since last summer that I met them at pre college summer thing. Well how I met them was awkward I always saw them not together at first and I was :eek: . Then I realized they are both sisters and they are identical twins. Both of them act the same to me, and it is hard to tell them apart. I would like to get to know them, one of them???? Kind of awkward I am stubbling around trying to think how would I handle this situation because I never dealed with two girls like that.

 

It was funny I got to thinking about today when they walked in one of them said hi to me and the other walked by and said hi to me. I am thinking I want to get to know them but how do I like UGHHHHHHHHH..........this is confusing I am going in circles with this. They both confronted me different ways the first time I met them and God damn I finally figured out how to tell them apart today at least. :Doh: Which I haven't been able to since school began, the only way I was able to tell them apart is usually I talk to them on their own.

 

Say I want to like them say more as friends? How do I do that..........? When they are almost the same this is a crazy post I know...maybe someone can help. Because this is important because I kind of like one of them, but I how can I like one of them without offending the other or vise versa. I am "closer" friends with one of the sisters.....but the other one really is nice to me to....AHHHHHHHHHH it burns...

 

Then what if they are Catholic? :Doh: I totally forgot that.....

 

Advice would be helpful...............

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Dude if you're gonna brag about it then just brag.

 

 

I am actually not trying to brag seriousally....but it is kind of cool. :grin: I am seriousally in an awkward postion.....It does sound funny I agree and I guess I do have bragging rights but I am sure not bragging about it.

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You're asking what to do in the situation?

 

Fuckin relax man... if something's gonna happen let it just happen. With whichever one it happens to happen with.

 

Just don't fuck both of them - my guess is they PROBABLY wouldn't appreciate it if they found out.

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Fuck both of them!!! fuck both of them!!! Seriously, even if you don't end up with one of them on a permanent basis, when are you gonna get another opportunity like that? Don't look at it as exploitation, it seems to me like they want it. Man I envy you.

 

Ok so I'm evil.

 

:fdevil:

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Fuck both of them!!! fuck both of them!!! Seriously, even if you don't end up with one of them on a permanent basis, when are you gonna get another opportunity like that?

 

Um yeah, if you're the kind of person who doesn't give a crap about anyone else's feelings, then go ahead.

 

Course - they MIGHT want to fuck you - both at the same time. But if you believe that, I've got a bridge you might like to buy.

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Fuck both of them!!! fuck both of them!!! Seriously, even if you don't end up with one of them on a permanent basis, when are you gonna get another opportunity like that? Don't look at it as exploitation, it seems to me like they want it. Man I envy you.

 

 

I am not that kind of person who would do that to one of them or vise versa and say betray them. Anyway I am lucky I guess, something cool has not happend to me in a long time... :wicked: I am thinking about it right now what to do but this is making me laugh.

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Um yeah, if you're the kind of person who doesn't give a crap about anyone else's feelings, then go ahead.

I gave up all my hang-ups on casual sex as exploitation a long time ago. Turns out many women want just as much if not more than men do. I've been used for sex as many times as I've used for sex. You just have to take on a case-by-case basis, feel out the situation, and make sure neither party is entertaining any illusions about it.

 

Ok, let me dispense with the silliness here before i get labeled a monster. If one of them genuinely appears interested in a relationship, then by all means just stick with that one. As Doc implied, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. If both of them appear interested in a relationship, you got a sticky situation that I'm ill equipped to give advice on. If one or the other or both are just kinky, well, don't sweat it and enjoy the ride. :)

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Course, I know it's a long shot, but maybe neither of them want to be anything more than friends.

 

:shrug:

 

Call me crazy, I know!

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Course, I know it's a long shot, but maybe neither of them want to be anything more than friends.

 

:shrug:

 

Call me crazy, I know!

 

Never said that, this thread is the more what if? what can I do? and How do I really choose one over the other? This thread is going in circles by the orginal question.

 

EDT: I am better friends with one than the other, I can tell you that much information on this. I know which one I would probably stick with overall. That has been considered already back in summer when I first thought their was only one of them. Also HuaiDan you are not a monster but I am in a good postion (or think I am going to be in one) This just has to be the craziest thing that has happend to me... :grin:

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Man, I'm just having fun with it. You have to admit your situation is good for a few laughs. I really don't have enough info to give you any useful advice, but I'd advise to find a particular physical trait as a means of telling them apart, and don't let them know what that is so they don't jerk you around with the you-can't-tell-us-apart game. A skin blemish, fingernails, teeth, anything permanent or semi-permanent so you can definitively distinguish one from the other. Then I would target one and go after her, but still be open and friendly toward the other one. Have a good reason ready as to why you chose one, and not the other. "Oh, I just flipped a coin" will not work. You need a legitimate or legitimate sounding reason. Don't get caught off guard.

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Man, I'm just having fun with it. You have to admit your situation is good for a few laughs. I really don't have enough info to give you any useful advice, but I'd advise to find a particular physical trait as a means of telling them apart, and don't let them know what that is so they don't jerk you around with the you-can't-tell-us-apart game. A skin blemish, fingernails, teeth, anything permanent or semi-permanent so you can definitively distinguish one from the other. Then I would target one and go after her, but still be open and friendly toward the other one. Have a good reason ready as to why you chose one, and not the other. "Oh, I just flipped a coin" will not work. You need a legitimate or legitimate sounding reason. Don't get caught off guard.

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao: That brought tears to my eyes when I read the bolded part of this.

 

Today I finally was able to tell them apart, :phew: I was looking at them and they have different hair color. One is dyed and the other is not, so I am able to distinguish them apart from each other. It took me till today to finally realize it how to tell them apart instead of knowing who I am talking to when they talk to me. Score for me= +10. :HaHa:

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That's good, but in the meantime, I'd look for a more permanent feature to distinguish them, other than hair color. If one of them really is interested in you, I wouldn't put it past them to change their hair colors just to test you. Or maybe they will change their hair color because they want to regardless of you being in the picture.

 

Or maybe I've just been in China too long. Seriously, the girls here are like that.

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That's good, but in the meantime, I'd look for a more permanent feature to distinguish them, other than hair color. If one of them really is interested in you, I wouldn't put it past them to change their hair colors just to test you. Or maybe they will change their hair color because they want to regardless of you being in the picture.

 

Or maybe I've just been in China too long. Seriously, the girls here are like that.

 

Naw....they wouldn't do that but I am going to look for other features to tell them apart....DAMN this is hilarious....the more I think about this.

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Whatever you do, get a handle on the situation, don't let them play you. As soon as they get the whiff that they can play you, you don't stand a chance. Woman respect and ultimately want to fuck a man that's in control of the situation. Some will deny what I just said up and down, and I'm sure I'll get flamed here for it, but as sure as the day is long that's the subconcious game that's going on.

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Damn I kept seeing them everywhere today.....

 

I guess I am just one lucky guy. :wicked: Time to flip that coin :HaHa:.

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I have to say this... although most will think I am being silly. Twins are evil! Do not get involved in a relationship -- especially a long term one -- with twins unless you know what you're getting yourself into. That goes double for identical twins. My mother is an identical twin and I have known many twins growing up (because my mothers -- not a typo -- enjoy finding other twins of any age). Much of this applies for it being a serious relationship but some applies even when dealing with friends.

 

First thing to know, nothing you say will be private. Even when twins promise to keep something secret, they mean secret between the two of them. They, in general, do not see how telling each other something violates a trust. I can't tell you how many sets of twins (including my mothers) have said, "I only told my sister," with shock that it would bother me.

 

Be prepared for having to deal with the emotions, quirks, and frustrations of two women but only getting sex from one of them. Shallow way of thinking about it, yes, but it will be like dating both except infinitely more complicated. And when you piss off the "other" twin it's harder to make it better without over-stepping a line and pissing off the one you're dating.

 

Privacy (this is a "good" thing depending on how you look at it) is something twins have no concept of when it comes to each other and sometimes other people. Expect to see her sister naked at some point and expect that her sister will see nothing wrong with walking right into your room while the two of you are busy if she needs something. Absolutely nothing sexual about it but I have seen it all the time.

 

No matter how serious your relationship becomes, you are second in her life. She will talk more to her sister than you and you can expect that any major decision will require both to agree. You must respect this boundary and relationship. It is the quickest way to ruin a good thing. Honestly, if you ignore all my advice but this one... you will still be okay. But this one is serious. Never ever put yourself between the two of them or even make one think you might possibly want them to choose between you and her sister.

 

When twins, especially identical twins, fight they make the old testitment look pleasant in comparison. They will hate each other so much that you might be concerned about one killing the other in the rage. This is the worst part of dealing with twins. Remember what I just said above, Never put yourself between the twins. This still applies here. Do not say anything negative about her sister. She will want you to, DON'T. Trust me... use all the political skills you can manage to say nothing bad about her twin. Also, do not say anything positive about her sister! Do not try to repair this problem. This should be obvious anyway... once you see the level of hatred, But don't take sides... it is important. Don't even take the side of the twin you are involved with... and especially not the side of the other one. The fight will end and they will be right back to where they were. Everything they say during a fight is forgiven and forgotten... it is erased by their truce. Everything and anything you said is now under the microscope (shared with both of them -- again nothing you say is private, ever) to see if you tried to possibly tear them apart.

 

The two points above are some of the hardest things and I have seen it destroy many weaker people. Hell, it's done a number on me many times and I know the rules of non-engagement but sometimes I manage to convince myself that "this time they want me involved."

 

Even identical twins are different no matter how small the difference. My mothers are very very similar. As a child, I mistook one for the other fairly often (as did many people), especially from a distance or when talking to their side or backs. Find a way to tell them apart... hopefully without speaking first. If you can't tell the difference, you are fucked. They will know and they will pretend to be each other. I have seen them do that even when there's no good reason and there is nothing to gain from it. My aunt still pretends to be my mother around unsuspecting people. And I used to be very good friends with a cute set of twins when I was growing up. They pulled the switch on me during one of their fighting moments... I said the wrong thing to the wrong one (see the bit above about not being involved) even though I knew to say nothing and knew they could fool me... and the backlash was bad enough that I didn't talk to them for months.

 

 

 

A while ago my mothers tried to set me up with an identical twin. My response was instantly, "No! Why would I want to marry a twin?! I already have enough twin-problems in my life. Let someone who doesn't know have to deal with all that."

 

"But you know what to expect."

 

"Exactly! I know what to expect so I know enough to walk away right now."

 

Not that twins are all bad. Go for it if you understand the work involved. I am not dead-set against dating/marrying a twin... but I feel bad for people who get involved without knowing what they're doing.

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I have an identical twin sister...

 

:dumbo:

 

I agree with everyone, go with the one that you are better friends with. The differences between the two girls are only going to get more apparrent as time passes. Here's the catch though: if you happen to see one more than the other, you may be under the false impression that you're better friends with her. If you're think there's potential for a serious relationship with one, take your time getting to know them. It'll really fuck you up if you pick the wrong one. You'll end up coveting the other one. I knew three other sets of twins in high school, and it's happened to all of us. None of us have ever allowed the change up. In the end the poor guy idealizes the one that he should have picked, and it takes a while to get over that. Imagine having this cute, available girl who under different circumstances would probably date you, and you can't do a fuckin thing about it. If you like them enough to remain friends with them, and take the chance of asking the other one out you are gonna be cut off without hesitation. Of course there are the rare sets of twins that don't fit that description, but you're put in the position of having to take that gamble.

 

 

I have to say this... although most will think I am being silly. Twins are evil! Do not get involved in a relationship -- especially a long term one -- with twins unless you know what you're getting yourself into...

 

:lmao:

 

It's not all that bad. I guess it depends on what kind of twins the girls are. If they are the type that take extreme pride in being twins, and pull twin pranks or dress alike, then yeah I can see some evil coming out of all that. One of the sets of twins I knew would dress alike and wore their hair exactly the same. They liked to pull pranks, but none of the others would. My sis and I find all that nonsense cheesy.

 

First thing to know, nothing you say will be private. Even when twins promise to keep something secret, they mean secret between the two of them. They, in general, do not see how telling each other something violates a trust. I can't tell you how many sets of twins (including my mothers) have said, "I only told my sister," with shock that it would bother me.

 

Eh...

Again, it depends on what type of twins they are, and how independent are they of one another. Identical twins are going to lead pretty parallel lives and probably have the same friends, but you can tell. If they ALWAYS do EVERYTHING together they may be the type that fallenleaf is describing, but if you see one without the other one a good portion of the time that may tell you that they lead more independent lives. Yeah, they're going to tell each other most of what's going on in their lives, but chances are that if they're fairly independent of one another they'll be able to keep things private.

 

And when you piss off the "other" twin it's harder to make it better without over-stepping a line and pissing off the one you're dating.

 

I agree 100%. Don't screw this up. Many times even close friends will take the sides of their significant others, but pissing off the other twin is just a plain old bad move.

 

No matter how serious your relationship becomes, you are second in her life. She will talk more to her sister than you and you can expect that any major decision will require both to agree. You must respect this boundary and relationship. It is the quickest way to ruin a good thing. Honestly, if you ignore all my advice but this one... you will still be okay. But this one is serious. Never ever put yourself between the two of them or even make one think you might possibly want them to choose between you and her sister.

 

Well, if a guy was number one he would have to respect the fact that there is a very close second in their lives. I don't really see how a person could call their twin number one if they're married or in a very serious relationship for a few years. I'd feel like an asshole putting that kind of strain on a relationship. However, my experience has been that even if a guy if obviously my first concern, they still have a problem with how damn close second place can be. It's not because they're selfish people. They're just a little freaked by it.

 

When twins, especially identical twins, fight they make the old testitment look pleasant in comparison. They will hate each other so much that you might be concerned about one killing the other in the rage.

 

:lmao:

 

The funny thing that I've noticed about twins fighting is that we will completely skip our arguments for why we're mad at each other. There is no room for stating a case, it's just a waste of time. I know exactly why my sister is pissed off at me, she knows my counter attack. I know her rebuttal, and she knows how I'll justify my point of view. This helps us come to a resolution very quickly on most things. But royal hell is unleashed for hours on end when we just don't see eye-to-eye. The last couple of arguments my sister and I have gotten into have lasted for weeks. And yes, I feel bad for the innocent and terrified boyfriends who find themselves in the middle.

 

 

Ramen,

 

I'm sure you're confused. But really it comes down to spending some time getting to know the type of twins you're dealing with (clingy, fairly independent, or the type you could end up having a threesome with), and then picking the one that you think you'll be better off with (or have that threesome :woohoo: ).

 

Fallenleaf,

 

I have a good friend who married a twin. The way he handles it is that he does not care who he pisses off. He says that if she lets her sister influence her, that is her business but he is not changing for diddly shit. She can either take it or leave it. He sticks to that with brass knuckles force. It has worked. He is damn nearly meniacle about anything too so...maybe he is right for that kind of relationship...LOL

 

I'm just going to add this: Ramen, don't do what Burnedout's friend does. I'm not just saying this because you'll have two rabid nagging clones at each ear. If the guy can handle that til death good on him. Personally I think I would have to end it with someone who doesn't get along with my sister, and completely unapologetic about pissing her off. It may be because my sister is such a damn sweetheart, but I'm willing to bet that every twin is filled with a deep rage when someone pisses off their sister. Not only because twins are fiercely protective of each other, but also because twins always see a facet of themselves in each other. Whether you can accept it or not - even if the girls don't agree on something, shit, they could be at each other's throats - if you have to disagree about something or stand up for yourself, do so in a respectful manner. Disrespecting a girl's twin is worse than disrespecting her. She won't soon get over it.

 

Like I said before, there are always those sets of twins that don't fit the mold. But speaking as a twin, and as someone who picks apart the relationship of every other set of twins I've met, these are common characteristics among twins.

 

Have fun buddy.

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Maybe I watch a little too much CSI: Miami but is true that identical twins have the same DNA and share the same finger prints? I always wanted to know that.

 

Dianka thanks for that advice everyone is making me worry a lot but it seems like an odd situation enough it may be a good thing or a train wreck.... :HappyCry: because nothing ever good happens to me. I have had bad look with girls for the last 2 years always turned down one way or the other or the girl moves....or ect....sad stories to tell....well lets hope for the best thats all I can do.

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Maybe I watch a little too much CSI: Miami but is true that identical twins have the same DNA and share the same finger prints? I always wanted to know that.

 

Dianka thanks for that advice everyone is making me worry a lot but it seems like an odd situation enough it may be a good thing or a train wreck.... :HappyCry: because nothing ever good happens to me. I have had bad look with girls for the last 2 years always turned down one way or the other or the girl moves....or ect....sad stories to tell....well lets hope for the best thats all I can do.

 

Yeah, identical twins have the same DNA. There's a certain sense of relief that comes with knowing that an extra set of parts is out there just in case you break one of yours :grin: As for the fingerprint thing, I remember my Biology teacher in high school told me that the fingerprints are very similar in pattern, but they are different.

 

And Ramen, every relationship you're about to get into can either be a good one or a wreck. Dating a twin is not much different than dating anyone else. I hope it works out for you buddy.

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I took some of your adivce (sort of) the one that I was familar with was not there today............so I hung out with the other one today. I think maybe I am begining to see a pattern but it is so cool/weird for me at the same time because come on how often does something like this happen to me....not often. I came to conclusion I am going to wait and let things play out get to know BOTH of them more first....

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My "twins are evil" position wasn't meant to really scare you. Just let you know what you may be up against. Yeah, twins come in a spectrum and I did define the more tightly-knit kind. But that tends to be my experience. They're a hell of a thing but it's worth it -- well, if you really find someone you're into. I haven't found one myself but that doesn't mean they're not out there.

 

All relationships have the potential for pain. Twins just bring it double. :wicked:

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Oh I been up against certain relationships before....all ended in pain :HappyCry:

 

In a way that changed my personality in a way, and actually one thing that led to my deconversion because 3 years ago after being turned down against the girl that I thought I was the one. The one that I thought God gave me, my prayer answered kind of thing............well it didn't happen....I was in depression for February 2005-May 2005...something hit hard on that for some reason...things never were the same again..if I got the girl though...would I be an atheist, ex Christian, free thinker, what position would I be at? I prayed actually for that numerous times and God failed me but what if I got the girl would things of been different? I still wonder to this day, that triggered me questioning God for some reaosn....would I eventually be an athesist or not?

 

what ended the depression my friend got a girl friend...the girl I liked, best friend. I was so angry at him for a couple of days then I realized I totally have lost it and I had to stop this madness...I learned a lot about myself in Junior Year of High School I really did....it is what helped what I am today.

 

would probably still be a Christian and that was a in a way a good thing. I studied the truth...how prayer doesn't work....that why would God betray me...everything...so I do have a girl to thank indirectly for questioning Christianity. I have not seen her in 3 years but I have a lot to thank her about.

 

Those two girls that I know, now I have known them almost a year and I met them kind of in awkward ways both of them when we first met....I just think that something may finally be happening good...this is just different because its not just one girl its two....and I think something is about to happen that has not happend in a long time....joy....something

 

Sorry if I am ranting but the more I remember that year , it gets to me sometimes because my friend that I knew my whole life got expelled on my birthday for possession of drugs....so I lost a lot that year....

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My "twins are evil" position wasn't meant to really scare you. Just let you know what you may be up against. Yeah, twins come in a spectrum and I did define the more tightly-knit kind. But that tends to be my experience. They're a hell of a thing but it's worth it -- well, if you really find someone you're into. I haven't found one myself but that doesn't mean they're not out there.

 

All relationships have the potential for pain. Twins just bring it double. :wicked:

 

Fallenleaf,

 

Whenever my sister and I talk about how many kids each of us wants to have, it's usually a one-sided conversation - my sister being the one side. After listening for fifteen minutes about how she's probably going to have one when she's around thirty-three or so (sometimes she adds a second child into the mix "the accident") she tells me I'm going to make a wonderful cool aunt someday. Of course, we've come to the conclusion that I'll be adjunct mommy. But I've always wondered if having two moms would screw a kid up. It would be cool to get a little information from you about what it was like growing up with both of them.

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