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Goodbye Jesus

Obsessed With My Ex-christianity


mick

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I was a Christian 15 years. (Though struggling to believe for last 8 years of that) I have been full blown Ex-Christian for over a year. All I ever think about is how mad at Christianity I am, how easy it is to reject it, how stupid it is to believe it, how foolish my wife still is, etc.

 

I used to love the New England Patriots, the Red Sox, funny movies, on and on. It seems to me like all I care and think about now is religion. (anti-religion)

 

I am hoping at some point I stop living this way. I do despise the Bible and Christianity, but there has to be a point where I can truly enjoy things again. I definately drink more than I should now, and it has to be because of it all. My wife and 2 older children are at church right now.

 

So do something about it. I'm not talking about professing, arguing, and ranting at Christians, but there are things you can do that might help relieve your frustrations.

 

Use their own tactics against them.

 

I work in a restaurant. Sundays we get a big church crowd. Every week, I make a point to visit the restrooms, collecting jesus pamplets and assorted religious propaganda. I read them, laugh at them with my co-workers, and throw them away. [i also do this with any I find during the regular week. Sundays are just the worst days for it.]

 

Now, since I found this site, I replace any of the evil little pamplets, [which often use the words queers, whores, and other offensive terms.] with my cards. I've just had 500 of these printed out at a nearby Staples on blank business cards.

 

http://www.exchristian.net/exchristian/200...llection-of.php

 

There are other pamplets available on the site as well, and it doesn't cost much to do. I enjoy the feeling I get when I do it, and it's definitely helped stave off my agression. I started yesterday, and it's done wonders for my mood already. I've left about 10 of them at work, and expect to be rid of another 30-40 over this weekend.

 

It was worth it just for the look I got from the guy with the bible on the street corner today when I handed him one of the cards and shoved his free mini 'New Testament' back into his arms on the way home.

 

You don't have to start marches or anything, just the little things will help. If you don't want to be openly agressive, find small subversive ways to push your message along. They seem to have no problem with it.

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Oh, and Go Sox! ^_^ Get back into your game man. The Pats should have a solid team again, and the Sox have a decent pitching rotation, good feilding, and solid hitters this year.

The curse is over, live the dream man. We've waited too long to let something like this stand in the way of hating the Yankees.

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I know for me I was angry at christianity (and xtians by proxy) for a very long time. It wasn't until my sister-in-law (baptist) started trying to convince me that I was on the 'wrong path' that I really discovered just how angry I was about xtianity, xtians, the bible, etc. So what I started to do was learn as much as I could about it all. My wife was a bit shocked on how almost compulsive my desire to read and understand what I used to believe. My goal, at the end of the day, was to try to make sense of what I had learned then with what I knew now (that it's absolute garbage) without letting it control my emotions.

 

I have just recently (in the last couple of months) been able to break out of this pattern. I still get angry, of course, but it's not an obsessive type of anger. Authors that helped me make sense of it all are:

  • Robert Price
  • Richard Carrier
  • Earl Doherty
  • Brian Flemming
  • Sam Harris
  • Richard Dawkins

The first three, especially, were helpful to me for getting past my knee-jerk anger. I am currently reading "The Reason Driven Life" by Dr. Price, and I highly recommend it for the recovering xtian.

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I know for me I was angry at christianity (and xtians by proxy) for a very long time. It wasn't until my sister-in-law (baptist) started trying to convince me that I was on the 'wrong path' that I really discovered just how angry I was about xtianity, xtians, the bible, etc. So what I started to do was learn as much as I could about it all. My wife was a bit shocked on how almost compulsive my desire to read and understand what I used to believe. My goal, at the end of the day, was to try to make sense of what I had learned then with what I knew now (that it's absolute garbage) without letting it control my emotions.

 

I have just recently (in the last couple of months) been able to break out of this pattern. I still get angry, of course, but it's not an obsessive type of anger. Authors that helped me make sense of it all are:

  • Robert Price
  • Richard Carrier
  • Earl Doherty
  • Brian Flemming
  • Sam Harris
  • Richard Dawkins

The first three, especially, were helpful to me for getting past my knee-jerk anger. I am currently reading "The Reason Driven Life" by Dr. Price, and I highly recommend it for the recovering xtian.

 

Also Douglas Adams, a book called 'The Salmon of Doubt' in particular. He does an interview with American Atheist that made me feel better, and it gives a few good arguments for Atheism as well.

 

http://www.americanatheist.org/win98-99/T2/silverman.html

 

Here's a link to the article, though the book is still worth reading.

 

Also, television can give you a breath of relief. Bill Mahr is spot on about religion when he gets on the subject for the most part. I don't agree with him on all issues, but he can be entertaining with the right subject at least. Bullshit with Pen and Teller on Showtime does great episodes with religious themes, blowing open scams and stupidity. South Park, on Comedy Central has been a godsend to me. They love to rip a new one into all sorts of religious crap.

Also, if you get G4 on your cable network, some of their shows have a decidedly athiest slant, though they aren't about religion there. X-Play [A video game review show], and Attack of the show [A hosted show for nerds.]

The office Jesus bits alone are worth checking out.

 

Here's some links:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYa-ZChh1tI...ted&search=

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nj1d5TCUyg...ted&search=

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JFzCMpLf_M...ted&search=

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJcMvRE8JUE...ted&search=

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQto1RRe6uE

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  • 1 month later...

I saw this thread a couple months ago and thought about reading it, but didn't want it to influence my thoughts and grieving process. I decided I'd not read it until I was sure that I could return to a life of normalcy. I'm just about there. I've always been obsessive over something, so I wasn't too worried that I was obsessing about ex-Christianity. I did try to keep a level head though as best I could. For a while I didn't read xian comments in the forums or the main blog, but now they don't bother me too much. I mostly feel sorry for the true 'lost', and I don't take what they have to say personally anymore.

 

I've decided today to stop being obsessed with these forums and Dave's blog. That's not to say I won't pop in to see what's happening, or that I won't contribute, but I don't feel the need to keep up on the changes several times a day like I have been and cut back to once a day or less. I'll also probably blog once in a while, since writing is a hobby of mine. I'm ready to move on, and feeling pretty darn good about it.

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Many of us, when we leave Xianity, harbor a hatred for it. Our time in Xianity may have been personally traumatic, we may realize just how insidious it is now that we've left it, or any number of reasons may be behind this, but I've observed that an obsession with anti-xianity will result.

 

For some of us, this runs its course and we no longer need it. For others, we find it personally satisfying to ruminiate on our ex-ness, and express such sentiments to others. Advertising our ex-ness can be fun, or just theraputic, and some of us realize it's helpful since we may help urge others out of the cult, too.

 

Don't sweat it too much. In time, you'll get accustomed to your ex-ness, and you'll be able to choose to ruminate further on it or just let it go. Just do whatever suits you and whichever path you choose, make sure it leads to your betterment and personal gratification. It's a fine way to make the most out of the time you wasted as a Xian :)

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After I gave up Christianity, I didn't really obsess over being an Ex Christian. It was like "Ah! Now that I've given up it, I can go drawing, watching and think about anything else." I have an extremely broad range of interests like:

 

*Art

*Comedy

*Films

*Books

*Bowling

*Travel

*Writing

*Friends

*Food

*Medicine

*Sex

*Religion

*Politics

*Disability & Deafness

*Weird stuff

*Comics

*Going out

*Adventures

 

As you see, I don't obsess over things much unless it's an exceptionally handsome person. ^_^

Don't worry Mick, you'll be fine even if you can't get over it as easily as me. There's different ways of getting used to things for different folks. Do your thing and remember, Life's an fantastic adventure and there is new things to discover!!!

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It takes awhile, but you should be able to get over it.

If you think this is bad, pray you don't have any "fear of being wrong/fear of hell" lapses. I took a couple years for me to get fully over the feeling of liberation, the needless hatred, and needless worries.

But even today, I take time to be thankful to not be a Christian still. I am still over joyed that I am free to think on my own.

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I wake up refuting the Bible- no joke. I lay in bed in the morning and my first thoughts are usually some sort of refutation. "Zechariah says blah blah but Mark says..." Its quite annoying but you live with it.

 

haha, on the contrary, it sounds like the start of a good day. There are far worse things you could be waking up to in the morning.

 

As for the OP, I didn't check the day that it was posted so this might be pointless now but from the responses received I'm sure you can tell that you're not alone. If on-line support isn't enough then find someone else to discuss this with, not everyone is a fundamental christian. So even if you seek help from a counselor/individual who turns out to be christian then there stiill is hope, if it doesn't work out then find someone else.

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I wake up refuting the Bible- no joke. I lay in bed in the morning and my first thoughts are usually some sort of refutation. "Zechariah says blah blah but Mark says..." Its quite annoying but you live with it.

 

haha, on the contrary, it sounds like the start of a good day. There are far worse things you could be waking up to in the morning.

 

As for the OP, I didn't check the day that it was posted so this might be pointless now but from the responses received I'm sure you can tell that you're not alone. If on-line support isn't enough then find someone else to discuss this with, not everyone is a fundamental christian. So even if you seek help from a counselor/individual who turns out to be christian then there stiill is hope, if it doesn't work out then find someone else.

 

:vent:

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