Eccles1:2 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 A creation-defender called Hayes Said "Why don't you give God the praise? The fossils are fake For He really did make Everything that there is in six days." A rational thinker called John Said "Why did it take him so long? It would just take a moment If he's omni-potent Your thinking is certainly wrong." Said Hayes, "Well, consider the boat That kept all the creatures afloat. He rescued them FOR us The Tyrannosaurus The unicorn, dodo and stoat." Now John began shaking his head. "But what did they live on?" he said. "For after the flood There was nothing but mud And the whole ecosystem was dead." Then Hayes, he decided to pray: "Oh Lord, show this doubter Your way. All his logic and reason Are heavenly treason Please take his high IQ away." Just then poor Hayes shook in his bed A low-frequency sound filled his head: "There's no heavenly plan, I'm a construct of Man I command you: ignore what I said." by Eccles1:2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reach Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Just then poor Hayes shook in his bedA low-frequency sound filled his head: "There's no heavenly plan, I'm a construct of Man I command you: ignore what I said." by Eccles1:2 Delightful! Thank you for sharing that, Eccles! Nice work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalidasa Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Nice one Eccles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Not exactly limerick form, but it is meant to be humorous. I wrote this after reading that our governor vetoed a bill for a state poet laureate. Yeah, I know it's bad. Once, a Minnesotan gov vetoed a bill from above. Now we have no state poet. Boy, did he ever blow it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 There once was a man named Dave, Who gave in to his heretical crave. He had a thought one night, "I'll build a website!" And our ExChristian asses he did save. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophy Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 It's been said already, Eccles, but that was fantastic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretaker Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 There once was a lady from Venus Whose body was shaped like a pdgsauidhrag3jrqp38a48w[NO CARRIER] [CONNECTING....] [bUFFERING...] She said to her man When you take me in hand You'll find theres no difference between us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 There once was a man named Khan. Nobody knew what kind of drugs he was on. He wrote a limerick one day Showing his geekiness some say He'd be better off mowing the lawn. BTW- Eccles1:2 ROOOooooOOOlz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 There once was a girl full of thank Whose limerick seemed more like a prank She showed her lack of class by calling me a smart ass and therefore, her butt, I shall spank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Rhino Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 They said this man Jesus would save me That in his blood they would bathe me When I said I liked men They dipped me again But not before they had splayed me PR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 There once was a person so satirical, he skewed everything not agreeing with him, But he was sarastic then is he puns himselfs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eccles1:2 Posted June 29, 2005 Author Share Posted June 29, 2005 Thank you all, too kind, too kind. If you keep encouraging me I might be forced to write another one... I believe I shall prove God is real By making a reasoned appeal Take a leap in the dark Put your brain into park And forget we invented the wheel. The heavens declare it is so! He breathes, and the mighty winds blow! When Humankind blunders He lightnings and thunders And snow is His dandruff, you know. Eccles1:2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marktaylor Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 "old bush" burned hot with the world's blessing but we learned his boy wasn't stressing the need to be clear about why blood and fear are superior to digressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 4, 2005 Share Posted August 4, 2005 Came up with this yesterday when I was super bored at work. There once was a spot on the ceiling whose brown color invoked great feeling, but mostly of disgust and certainly not lust, because it was none too appealing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 4, 2005 Share Posted August 4, 2005 Another one I came up with, inspired by the oh-so lovely decor at work. There once was a grease spot on the wall which was not the fairest one of all. Its drab gray hue was quite a view for those it managed not to appall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highvoltage Posted August 4, 2005 Share Posted August 4, 2005 For the math geeks out there: I used to think math was no fun because I didn't know how it was done but now Euler's my hero because I know that zero is e to the i pi plus one BTW, I didn't make this up, I heard it somewhere, but I think it's cute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 Just a couple I thought up the other day. * * * * * There once was a small espresso bean packed with invigorating caffeine. In the middle of the night, little Susie took a bite and promptly had to use the latrine. * * * * * There once was an unemployed geek who thirteen languages did speak. He boarded a jet plane and took a fast train to Peru, where he slept for a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 There once was a very pink unicorn who was invisible from hoof to horn. She met Schroedinger's cat -- an impossible fact -- and the fabric of the cosmos was torn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts