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What Would You Do If It's The Rapture?


Onyx
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If you peeked into your church lady mother's bedroom, she was raptured in her sleep along with other fundamentalists (Proving all fundamentalists of the all three Abahramic religions are actually favoured by one God, as simple as that, you'd never hear from them AGAIN EVER and there will be no tribulations: I'm not going for biblical accuracy anyway) what would you do afterwards?

 

Me? I would fall in love with and marry a guy or two, steal a really snooty and hated Christian's mansion on the cliff as well taking his car, save a lot of previously banned books, movies, music, meet my friends, family and have real fun partying and stuff. Basically live life as if God never existed but with far more freedom than we ever had when we knew the fundamentalists. :)

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You're describing a scenario where you go to a friends house, and his parents are gone for the evening, you sneak into his dad's porns and go nuts. At least that's what comes to mind when I read that. It does sound like it would be real, well, comfortable with all the fundies gone. No one to tell you what they think you're doing behind closed doors and condemning you for it. No one trying to make you see things their way on pain of death, etc.

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I would wake up because I am clearly asleep and dreaming....or would that be a nightmare? I have trouble deciding because of the not having fundamentalist to bother us thing.

 

Honestly my life wouldn't change much, I'd still watch anime and play video games far to much for it to be healthy.

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I would and have done that anyway if it wasn't the rapture (Except for the stealing houses and cars part)

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Great responses :D , but still shows how oppressing and intertwined xianity is in our Western culture. Do you think anyone not infected with xianity in India or Iran or a jungle in the Amazon would even consider this question? I truly expect and pleased that our finally modern and connected world culture will be the death knell for all religions and man-made faith systems.

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Absolutely nothing would change because there's no such thing as a true xian. :) Everyone gets left behind. Oh no! ;)

 

But if it happened the way fundies imagine it, then the western world pretty much empties out and gets quickly invaded by the other 2/3's of the world. I guess I'd have to play it by ear at that point.

 

mwc

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I would have to admit that I would miss arguing with some fundamentalist christians on sunday mornings when they wake me up at 9am to give me pamphlets, and I would miss some of my friends, because some of them are christians.

Other than that, I would just carry on life as normal, like I usually do, as possible.

 

Edit: How in the hell did it post twice?

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I'd probably curl up in a ball and cry a lot. About 80% of my family would be gone. And though I don't agree with their beliefs, I'd miss them somthing awful.

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You know not much would be different because no True Christian follows da word of God, so basically God set it up so EVERYONE BURNS IN HELL.

 

On side note to this, I would piss in the church's baptism pool and hold a sex party at a local church. :wicked:

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Well, there would be no Church Parties to have sex at for starters.

 

I don't think that would be a bad thing. First, if I was fortunate enough to 'witness' the event. I'd probably bring out the shot gun and act like the fundies were clay targets. After all, they're all going to heaven anyway, why does it matter if they have a body any more or not.

 

Then I would play Death Metal at the maximum volume level, while simulating murder, eating crap, and feeling sorry for those taken away to the eternal church meeting.

 

As for missing my family, there are no families in heaven, so they wouldn't miss me. Why should I miss them? They're the ones who wanted to go off with the giant evil tyrant after all.

 

All and all, I'd be a lot more relaxed.

 

Also, our numbers wouldn't dwindle as much as the fundies would like to believe. Most people only say they're Christian as a reflex. Your average person could give a lick about church, commandments, or fulfilling the duties described by their particular faith.

 

For the most part, they'll only do it if it's convenient, and someone is making them do it. It's kind of a sick cycle of ignorant pretending.

 

In my experience, the average person doesn't know much about evolution, abortion, the bible, or science in general. They just give the expected answers when asked and lose interest in any more thought than small 'facts' about it.

 

Whether or not there is or isn't a god doesn't really matter to them. It's just not worth thinking hard enough to question it really.

 

To put it simply, the average person is too lazy to seek out a truth they don't feel effects them one way or the other. They'd rather put up with the inconvenience of being forced into church once or twice a year by family or friends.

 

It's more a matter of 'going with the flow' and 'not rocking the boat' rather than blind ignorance. It's also a convenient way to villify things they don't personally like, or feel uncomfortable with. Like Homosexuals, abortion, terrorism, and using human stem cells in research.

 

Things largely considered 'Unamerican' in the states tend to also be things 'God hates'. It's a case of culture defining religion, as opposed to the other way around. Most Christians only care about their own 'moral beleifs' and have no idea what the bible actually says. They just find passages that look like they fit what they want to say and toss the rest aside until they need another irrational explination to justify whatever stupidity they're currently pushing.

 

So yeah. The world would be a better [and probably cleaner] place. Also, it would be much easier to feed everyone if a third or so of the planet's population vanished.

 

There are so many upsides, and very few downsides to this.

 

As for the atheism thing. I'd be telling the angry almost Christians "So what if we were wrong? A huge number of assholes are gone now, and we don't ever have to worry about it happening again. He's not ever coming back remember? Eternal Kingdom? We're stuck here, and it's much nicer without him."

 

Still, I would like to have a good photo of me crushing the flying eternal raised son of god's head with my fingers.

 

I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your head...ow! Curses! Stupid crown of thorns! I've been defeated! Arrrggghhhh!

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You know not much would be different because no True Christian follows da word of God, so basically God set it up so EVERYONE BURNS IN HELL.

 

On side note to this, I would piss in the church's baptism pool and hold a sex party at a local church. :wicked:

 

 

ROFL!!!

 

I would so do that. I would open up my old church for orgies...

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If the rapture happened...

 

I'd laugh at all the self-righteous pricks that got left behind with us heathens.

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I'd wonder why Gawd didn't rapture ALL the nutters instead of just the Christian ones.

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  • 4 weeks later...
I'd probably curl up in a ball and cry a lot. About 80% of my family would be gone. And though I don't agree with their beliefs, I'd miss them somthing awful.

 

Me too. I would be incredibly sad and lonely.

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LOL My husband used to work with a bunch of fundies. One day they were standing around looking at a holiday schedule on the office bulletin board. It said "Happy Holidays" and the fundies were bitching that it didn't say "Christmas". They were all shaking their heads and shouting out, "oh, Lord Jesus! Please, come quickly and take us home to glory!" One of the men said, "That sure will be an amazing day! Jesus is gonna come back faster than one of them-there spy planes." My husband got to laughing and he said, "hey? When Jesus raptures you, can I have your house?" And he said, "Sure, brother. Once I'm in eternity I'll have no need for it." My husband asked, "Can I get that in writing?" and the man said, "well hell no!" Hahaha

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I would be frustrated out of my mind and the anger for God that I once carried would probably return. The christians who are taken will be the good ones, the quiet ones, the ones who are actually a positive presense on this planet.

 

Don't think you'll be able to have sex parties in churches, most of the crazy fundies will still be there twisting the bible some more to come up with a reason as to why they weren't taken.

 

Sorry to ruin the fun.

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I'd probably curl up in a ball and cry a lot. About 80% of my family would be gone. And though I don't agree with their beliefs, I'd miss them somthing awful.

 

Me too. I would be incredibly sad and lonely.

 

Yeah, I would totally miss my mother. Otherwise, fuck em...

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I would start smoking weed more liberally than I already do. Which would be a hellova lot of weed. After I become thoroughly stoned, quite possibly for the first time legally, since the Xtian fundies aren't around to tell us how evil weed it, I would say "God, once again, thank you for pissing me off to forsake your sorry ass, so I can enjoy this world without your hateful, greedy, lying, warmonger followers controlling this society." I would then convert to Luciferianism.

I would then have oral sex, another legal first time . (Yes, under Indiana law, I am a criminal because I stuck my tongue in my ex's vagina. She's also a criminal because she let me do so. Anal sex is also illegal.)

Then I would go around burning churches, Bibles, Bible stores, Christian stores, and everything else that has keywords such as "God, Jesus, Bible, Salvation, Damnation, Heaven, Hell, etc." Not even the local YMCA's will be spared.

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Guest seekeroftruth

I would then have oral sex, another legal first time . (Yes, under Indiana law, I am a criminal because I stuck my tongue in my ex's vagina. She's also a criminal because she let me do so. Anal sex is also illegal.)

 

 

My husband and I are criminals: we sometimes have sex with our socks on.

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I would then accept the possibility of the existence of the Christian God (and maybe later accept it as fact if all the other stuff in Revelation comes true).

I would /then/ proceed to live it up anyway.

God's an asshole.

I don't like God.

I'll take Hell, thanks.

Especially since Hell is just "absence from God" (so I hear).

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1. For those of you that would change your behavior, ie act more "wreckless", why are you waiting for Christianity's Rapture to act that way? Why not be that way now? If a Rapture happens, wouldn't that actually be more proof that there is a Policeman-in-the-Sky?

 

2. I used to say that if the Rapture happened, then I'd go running to the Bible and become a good Christian. But lately I have been feeling that I would still stand for all I have before. A bad God that is now apparent is worse than a bad God that we currently can't prove. What changes in me is my anger at the obvious hiding and lack of ownership (ie responsibility) God has taken for the past 2,000 years. If the Rapture happens, I hope Dr. Phil remains on Earth, so we can have a Deity Intervention.

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