truth Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Hello all. I have posted a bit a while ago about my rocky friendship with my fundy friend... We haven't had too much contact as of late due to the fact that she can't handle me being not a fundy xian and well trying to explore what I do belive... she calls it rebelling... I have been friends with her for several years and am close with her young daughter... so I have tried to keep some contact.. but really she is a nasty person I now know.. it is rather akward now when ever we spend time together because she won't talk too much about her life because it is all centered around God and mine is not.. That and that I don't wish to share much with her because she will just try to guilt me out or make me feel bad or be unsupportive in general.. it was her birthday tonight so I spent the entire evening with her. I got out of the car and realized that I can't do this maybe an hour or so tops with her, her friends were there most of the night so it wasn't so bad just a little weird. I can tolerate all their church talk.. and stuff about Jesus.. I realized however that I no longer share their way of thinking. Once upoun a time I did agree or think I agree but I can't anymore. I just think it is rather ridiculous to think that Jesus really cares if you have your boyfriend sleep over or if you are joking with sexual induendous.. OMG... I mean really its fine if you wish just not to go there, but because you are trying to be a good christian. I think it nuts. The game we played was fine but this trying to be someone you are not is seriously wacked. I thought I could just enjoy the evening and just out of respect for them that I would just kind of go along with what they were saying.. ie not challenge or question or say my beliefs in regards to the bible and moral standards.. my one friend knows where I stand on thease issues anyhow..She was proabally pissed that I did rise to challenge them..but would be annoyed if I did at the same time. THe last couple of months I have been kind of swaying back and forth to being pulled back into xianity to leaning towards more agnosticism/neo paganism... There is no way I could back ever to a fundy church... maybe a UU but that would be it now I think. I have to be true to my self and there is no way I could ever in a million years have the belief system and faith that they do... I could convince myself of the faith and live my life being misreable because I wouldnt be able to fully embrace all that that life requires. It makes me really angry that, even when I am struggling or was struggling with my beliefs that I was automatically labeled not a real christian. Honestly I don't think I would ever want to describe myself as christian because of all the nasty people and what that requires you do or not do.Not to mention being associated with such a anal rigid and sometimes mean and closed minded group of people. I must admit I did go back to checking the christian-other in some online dating sites.... It just seemed the simplist way to describe what I am at the moment.. am thinking of changing it to other. I do sit here and wonder how I went from being the girl who wanted to go into the ministry one day of inner healing and prophetic visions to being the skeptic,spiritual humanist,neo-pagan... who still worries that maybe they are right after all and that I will get sent to hell. Ahh I forgot how wacked out this people are... they just aren't a part of my world anymore. My family still believes but they don't talk like thease people do.. and for the most part leave me alone to believe what I want. I am useto being around open minded people, or at least very liberal tolerant xians. I got home and seriously felt suffocated and well angry... that I needed to find me and express myself the way that works for me. I feel better now, I think I have gotten rid of all the negative xian energy..Ahhhhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Truth, I'm glad the rant did you good. It usually helps, doesn't it:) The way I see it for myself is that I have to live with my Self 24/7. If I want to be who "they" want me to be, I sacrifice 99 days out of a hundred to be the good little girl for them on the hundredth day. Can't do it anymore. Won't do it anymore. If they love me, they will not hold my lack of religion against me. If they hold it against me, then they don't love me. That's black and white thinking, I realize, but it does help me stick to my resolution to be true to my Self no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amelia Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Hi Truth! You DESERVE and have a RIGHT to be YOU! These people just oppress you to fit into their pissy little religion. Fark em! Most Christians aren't true friends anyway. They only want to see or speak to you when they want something and you HAVE to be a fundy freak or at least toe their line. So, my advice is to cut ties. With a smile. You know...a condescending one preferably, like the ones they dish out when you're not on the same freak page they are! Cheers, AJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truth Posted May 21, 2007 Author Share Posted May 21, 2007 Well it has been a week since I saw my friend for her birthday. I am feeling a bit guility that I haven't called her since. Yes it is true they only want you when they believe the same as them or will totally go along with them. It is sad they are like that. I thought only the catholic church did excommunication, but really fundies have there own nasty little ways of trying to keep you in their little cult... only problem is it doesn't work if you really can not believe. Why stay around nasty people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Well it has been a week since I saw my friend for her birthday. I am feeling a bit guility that I haven't called her since. I can't help but wonder why you feel guilty about it Truth. I mean, if she's as nasty as you say she is then it seems to me that you've done yourself a favor by cutting your ties with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truth Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Well it has been a week since I saw my friend for her birthday. I am feeling a bit guility that I haven't called her since. I can't help but wonder why you feel guilty about it Truth. I mean, if she's as nasty as you say she is then it seems to me that you've done yourself a favor by cutting your ties with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truth Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Opps sorry about... I wrote a response earlier but was having techincal problems and couldn't post it. I think that guilt maybe it the wrong word..But yes I am doing myself a world of good by not being friend with her. Her daughter and I have quite the bond as I am her daughters godmother.... so I would like to have some contact, but we both know that our days as best friends is gone, which really is a bit sad.. but really change is good. It is time to move on, and I am happy about that and excited with what the future holds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Her daughter and I have quite the bond as I am her daughters godmother.... so I would like to have some contact, but we both know that our days as best friends is gone, which really is a bit sad.. but really change is good. It is time to move on, and I am happy about that and excited with what the future holds. I'm glad to hear that Truth. I'm not sure what good it would do to beat yourself up over the fact that she can't accept you unless you believe as she does. My experience was that I had to find a whole new set of friends when I "lost my faith." It wasn't a quick or painless process. And I wish you the best of luck in all of it. Keep on keeping on Truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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