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Breaking Up With A Xian Girlfriend


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Okay, I thought it would be a good idea to go out with an old friend of mine from high school and everything seemed to go well. But there is one small problem, her entire family is Christian and I'm not. In fact, they have such an extremist view that people aren't Christian, are Satanists. This really pisses me off, considering that belief in Satan would require a compulsory belief in God. And furthermore, we decided for a while to lie to her parents and tell them that I was a Christian again. In fact, I had to go to a Church last Sunday because of this. I don't want to do this again. In fact, it is so wrong to be dating her just because I want to date someone that I don't want to change. But I want to help her out of Christianity and yet, I can't.

 

So what should I say? I don't feel anything for her anymore and I feel that if I continue this relationship with her, it's just going to end up hurting both of us.

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This really pisses me off, considering that belief in Satan would require a compulsory belief in God.
Not necessarily. In fact only out and out devil worship requires such a belief.
So what should I say? I don't feel anything for her anymore and I feel that if I continue this relationship with her, it's just going to end up hurting both of us.
Well, if you're the guy who was talking about marrying an atheist, whom you recently broke up with, then you can't have been dating this chick very long. I 'd say it's pretty cut and dried; this is a situation that is bound to turn out worse in the long run, and you shouldn't have to hide what you are just to be with someone you haven't known that long. So tell her that and be done with it.
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If you really don't have romantic feelings for her then you should break it off no matter what else is going on...

 

that being said, if you do have some feelings for her, you should find out where she stands on this. She must not be quite as extreme as the rest of her family, or she wouldn't have dated you in the first place....so the big question would be is SHE ok with you not being a Christian. I would make damn sure that this isn't going to become an issue if the relationship is going to be long term.

 

One question, how old are you two? does she still live at home? Ok, thats two questions. ;) If she doesn't care that you aren't a believer then I say to hell with her parents, of course, its more complected if she is still living with them, but that is temporary.

 

If I were in a similar situation and the person actually mattered to me, I would have no problem lying to her parents for the sake of the relationship, I'd even go to church once and a while to keep up appearances. as long as she was comfortable with dropping the charade once she was living on her own, I don't think I could handle it if I was expected to play the fundy around her parents until they died (maybe if we lived REALLY far apart and never saw each other)

 

Anyway, in the end it all comes down to if this is a relationship you want to pursue or not, and do you think that putting up with her parents stupidities are worth it.

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I don't feel anything for her anymore and I feel that if I continue this relationship with her, it's just going to end up hurting both of us.

 

Based on this statement, I think the answer is right in front of you.

 

It's a no-go. Wind it up because the relationship is going nowhere, and you'll have to oppress your personality to fit in with the family. Let it go and you'll be better for it.

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I told her the news. She was hurt but she got over it fairly quickly. We are both friends and while she does make me cringe when she says that Buddhism is "my Christianity" (I've already told her MANY times that it's not called a Christianity, but a belief).

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She does make me cringe when she says that Buddhism is "my Christianity" (I've already told her MANY times that it's not called a Christianity, but a belief).

 

Is she the type that refers to all soda as "Coke", and all photocopies as "Xeroxes"?

 

You should call Christianity "her Buddhism", especially since Buddhism has been around a lot longer than Christianity. I would call Christianity "her Judaism", but the humor is more subtle, and I bet she would not get it.

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She does make me cringe when she says that Buddhism is "my Christianity" (I've already told her MANY times that it's not called a Christianity, but a belief).

 

Is she the type that refers to all soda as "Coke", and all photocopies as "Xeroxes"?

 

You should call Christianity "her Buddhism", especially since Buddhism has been around a lot longer than Christianity. I would call Christianity "her Judaism", but the humor is more subtle, and I bet she would not get it.

 

Hehehe, that's awesome!

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