Jump to content

A Little Story For Anti-catholic Christians


Heimdall
 Share

Recommended Posts

I posted this on a forum that has a lot of Fundies on it, all attacking the Catholics...I think the Catholics are as ignorant as any other Christian, but I love to tweak the noses of fundies - there it is:

 

Satan was perturbed, his age old battle with Jehovah was slowly failing. True, he had many successes but then Jehovah pulled a fast one and came to earth in the guise of his Son, lived, preached and died. Died as a sacrifice that all men could reach salvation! It just wasn’t fair! There had to be something that could be done. Calling his hellish minions together, he initiated a “Madison Avenue” style brainstorming session. All kinds of ideas were put forward, examined and cast off. It was beginning to look like Jehovah had finally won. Suddenly one very minor Imp, the assistant to the assistant to the Assistant Manager of Eternal Torment hesitantly raised his paw. “Sire” he began, “there abides a “Damned” (the current term for a mortal that has been damned to Hell) in section 4B that was a great General and greater politician, a man by the name of Gaius Julius Caesar, the former Dictator of the Roman Republic. If anyone can come up with a devious plan, it would be this “Damned”, after the way he manipulated the Republic for his own advantage.

Satan was impressed enough by the temerity of this lower level Imp that he actually considered the idea rather than ripping the creatures guts out and making a hammock of them. “Hmmm” rumbled the Evil One, “We actually have nothing to lose by asking this “Damned” and maybe the Creation to gain, bring him to me!”

Within minutes a very disheveled and singed individual was standing before the Grand Council, defiantly glaring at them. Warming to the mortal who exuded an air of evil as strong as any of his Imps, Satan explained the problem before them and presented the reward of elevation from the rank of “Damned” to the exalted rank “Prince of Imps” should this mortal have an idea that would work.

Caesar pondered long and hard, finally shaking himself and turning to address Satan and the Council. “The Son said, “And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” And thus did he establish the Church and the Church is the Bride of Christ. Against this monolith, you cannot prevail. It is simply too strong for you. Yet Jehovah’s strength in the physical world is somewhat bound to the power of his Bride, his Church; therefore you must do as I did in Rome – DIVIDE AND CONQUER!

To this very day Gaius Julius Caesar is a Prince of Hell, just as he was a Prince of Rome and each time some small splinter falls from the Bride or falls from one of those larger splinters that had fallen from the Bride in the past, he and Satan laugh uproariously and pound each other on the back. Soon, even the Second Coming will not have enough power to over come the power of Hell! - Heimdall :yellow:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah that would tweak them alright. Any reaction where you posted it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.