Are We More At Risk?

[Garnet]

Depends on the manner in which the conversation comes up. And you mentioned discussing the topic of suicide in her culture. Did you ask her point blank (without pre-warming) if she'd ever considered suicide based on her being asian? Or did you warm up to the question by discussing suicide in asian culture in general before narrowing to the specific (specifically her as an individual)?

 

There's a certain courtesy ethic when it comes to asking our friends if a general statistic applies to them. Especially topics we can reasonably assume that our friends may be sensitive about.

 

I've known this woman for over 20 years. We've been through a lot together and a lot apart. We have no need to be politically correct with one another. I don't remember exactly how I broached the subject as I was upset about the news of the death of an acquaintance. However, I will say that if I, out of the blue, had said, "K. do you think Japanese are more at risk to commit suicide than Americans?" she wouldn't have been upset.

[white_raven23]

But would she have been a little taken aback if you asked: "K. You're Japanese, have you ever considered committing suicide?" out of absolutely nowhere?

[Garnet]

But would she have been a little taken aback if you asked: "K. You're Japanese, have you ever considered committing suicide?" out of absolutely nowhere?

 

I doubt it. In fact, I think I have asked her in that manner. Nor have I ever been offended at her questions to me that start with, "You're American, have you ever....." She had a LOT of question for me when I had my conversion experience. She basically thought that I was out of my mind and had no problems telling me so...in vivid detail and using colorful language. That's the nature of our friendship.

 

By the way, I don't get your reference to "out of absolutely no where." Neither my conversation with my friend nor the OP came from "absolutely no where."

[white_raven23]

By the way, I don't get your reference to "out of absolutely no where."

 

Yes you do.

 

Neither my conversation with my friend...

 

See? You get it. And you confimed that such a topic with your friend had a socially logical and understandable source that both of you were aware of when the conversation came up.

 

To ask someone certain topics out of absolutely nowhere just means that they have not been prepped for such a conversation (they do not know why you are asking, or what is inspiring the question). With many topics....that's not much of a problem. Stranger or friend, you can ask certain things out of the blue without startling the other person. A friend of course you can ask more things out of the blue. But even with friends, certain topics are a little sensitive. And questions about them can be jarring without some prep as to why the question is being asked. The OP gave us exactly that prep. They did not have, as message content, just the question itself. They explained clearly what was happening around them to give them cause to wonder about the topic, and ask the question.

[Garnet]

By the way, I don't get your reference to "out of absolutely no where."

 

Yes you do.

 

Neither my conversation with my friend...

 

See? You get it. And you confimed that such a topic with your friend had a socially logical and understandable source that both of you were aware of when the conversation came up.

 

To ask someone certain topics out of absolutely nowhere just means that they have not been prepped for such a conversation (they do not know why you are asking, or what is inspiring the question). With many topics....that's not much of a problem. Stranger or friend, you can ask certain things out of the blue without startling the other person. A friend of course you can ask more things out of the blue. But even with friends, certain topics are a little sensitive. And questions about them can be jarring without some prep as to why the question is being asked. The OP gave us exactly that prep. They did not have, as message content, just the question itself. They explained clearly what was happening around them to give them cause to wonder about the topic, and ask the question.

 

I have no idea what you are trying to convey to me. I have answered your assertion that I wouldn't bring up suicide to an Asian friend based solely on ethnicity. While I certainly understand what "out of absolutely nowhere" means, I did not raise the issue "out of no where" either to my friend or in the OP. Thus, I don't understand why you keep using that phrase. Are you trying to intimate that I've been insensitive in the OP or with my friend? Or is there some other point you're trying to get across?

[white_raven23]

Thus, I don't understand why you keep using that phrase. Are you trying to intimate that I've been insensitive in the OP or with my friend? Or is there some other point you're trying to get across?

 

No....wtf??

 

I'm not implying anything accusational at all. I've backtracked this tread...re-reading the conversation between you and me, and I really cannot see where or how you are coming to this conclusion.

 

Did I miss something somewhere?

[Garnet]

Well, blast it...I'm confused. I'm not trying to be snarky, White Raven. I've enjoyed our interchange. I just really don't understand the point you're trying to make. I know that my brain is not firing on all cylinders right now.

[The Sage Nabooru]

Well I was damned depressed as a Christian, and I still get depressed now sometimes.

 

We do have to admit that religious people tend to be happier. The hardest part for me after leaving Christianity was finding my own way. Suddenly I didn't have my life, opinions, and actions planned out for me. For the first time I found myself with a formidable amount of freedom, but that also meant that I could no longer rely on the organization or book for guidance. Now whatever spiritual endeavors I undertook, and steps I took in my life, would have to be made by myself and myself alone. That was very scary for me. Deciding for yourself can actually be very difficult, and figuring out what's right for you and what you want to present to the world as an individual can seem impossibly frustrating at times. No longer could I just live as "Christian". Now I had to be "Sage".

 

I also think that there is a great deal of happiness found in the fellowship churches provide. It feels good being surrounded by people who are like yourself, to talk about things you enjoy. Cutting the church out of your life cuts off a lot of that kind of fellowship, leaving you out in the cold, which is why ex-Christian and other groups get formed, I think, for the same reason. We relish forum and discussion as a species.

 

Christians are also less likely to commit suicide simply out of fear of hell. Perhaps it keeps the body count down, but I really don't think it's a very good therapeutic approach for whatever misery they might be having. (That was what my mother used on me, and it just made me feel worse.)

 

Ultimately I believe happiness depends on the individual.

[LosingMyReligion]

The only time I would even consider suicide is if I were terminally ill, and there was no possibility of a cure. Case In Point: If I were Tammi Faye Baker/Messner there is no way I would go on. I would just take a warm bath, make myself look as good as possible, and chase down a bottle of motrin with a bottle of red wine and call it a life.

I would prefer euthanasia, but I wouldn't want the other person to get in trouble.