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Upcoming Family Event


Amethyst
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My cousin's high school graduation is tomorrow. His parents are fundies. I don't know for sure if he is but I do know they have been, in the past, worried about him not being a fundy like them. Still I am feeling obligated to go. So I am going to engage in an experiment. I will observe the entire thing as if I were an alien anthropologist here to study humans and write about it in that manner. I am hoping that a little geek humor will make it more tolerable.

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Good luck! Please let us all know how it goes.

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I will observe the entire thing as if I were an alien anthropologist here to study humans and write about it in that manner. I am hoping that a little geek humor will make it more tolerable.

I hope it does Amethyst. The idea made me laugh. I think it would truly be difficult to assume the role of an alien anthropologist. I think a Jane Goodall approach would be easier.

 

Have fun! Oh and be careful! Those humans are a strange animal.

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I did call my parents and tell them I wasn't planning on coming and I told them why. I said I loved them dearly but I just never feel like I fit in with that part of the family, it was nothing personal but I always feel like a sore thumb sticking out when I go to those things. My stepmom didn't sound too happy about it, but she said she understood.

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Are your folks still Christians Amethyst? Do they know that you have found your way out?

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Are your folks still Christians Amethyst? Do they know that you have found your way out?

 

Yes, but not the rest of the family. My folks are of the variety who go to church for the social life but cherry pick what they want to believe in. However, my cousin's parents are Baptists and fundy.

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Yes, but not the rest of the family. My folks are of the variety who go to church for the social life but cherry pick what they want to believe in. However, my cousin's parents are Baptists and fundy.

 

 

Ugh. That's a dilemma I'm facing more and more often these days. I'm at the age where the "older generation" is fading away; there have been several funerals for aunts and uncles over the past 10 years or so. Funerals are particularly bad, because unless the deceased was an atheist and left explicit instructions, some religious element will creep into it -- even if it was some Joe Sixpack who never went to church as an adult and was at most a "maybe there's something to it" kind of Xtian, when he's planted underground people will pray around him, read the Bible, etc. It's just expected. As annoying as those sorts of things are, I just accept it; it's a couple of hours out of my life, the deceased was a close relative, and I want to say goodbye just as much as anyone else there.

 

But many in my family are quite serious about their Xtianity, even to some who could be described as outright fundies. None are hard-core proselytizers, at least toward me (and everyone is aware that my beliefs are not the same as theirs). But they can get a little passive-aggressive at times, especially when in large groups (when I'm overwhelmingly outnumbered). In particular, I'm thinking of the big picnic that's the annual family reunion. A picnic means food; food means people will eat; eating means Xtians will want to "say grace" beforehand. And one of my family members is a pastor; invariably, no matter how many others have helped themselves to food beforehand, he'll wait until I've grabbed a paper plate and am halfway along the picnic table, loading it up, then loudly make some comment like, "let's not forget to thank the Lord before we dig in." It's his little way of sticking it to me. Well, it's a tradeoff; if that's all that's gonna happen, I can put up with it. (On the flip side -- I've pointed out my uncle's "selective perception" to a few younger relatives, and they agree with me that it's pretty funny; it obviously says more about my uncle than about me.)

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Are you close to your cousin? Or do you want to be? If they're worried that he might not be fundy like them, he might need your support. I don't know about you guys, but I always feel guilty when I don't take the chance to see my relatives. I don't see them enough. And whenever they came to my stuff, it made me feel good and very appreciative. I try to return the favor, even if we're not as close as we'd like to be, it's good to acknowledge that they mean something to you, you know?

 

But that's just me. Plus, I want to hear about how it goes. ;)

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Yes, but not the rest of the family. My folks are of the variety who go to church for the social life but cherry pick what they want to believe in. However, my cousin's parents are Baptists and fundy.

 

 

Ugh. That's a dilemma I'm facing more and more often these days. I'm at the age where the "older generation" is fading away; there have been several funerals for aunts and uncles over the past 10 years or so. Funerals are particularly bad, because unless the deceased was an atheist and left explicit instructions, some religious element will creep into it -- even if it was some Joe Sixpack who never went to church as an adult and was at most a "maybe there's something to it" kind of Xtian, when he's planted underground people will pray around him, read the Bible, etc. It's just expected. As annoying as those sorts of things are, I just accept it; it's a couple of hours out of my life, the deceased was a close relative, and I want to say goodbye just as much as anyone else there.

 

But many in my family are quite serious about their Xtianity, even to some who could be described as outright fundies. None are hard-core proselytizers, at least toward me (and everyone is aware that my beliefs are not the same as theirs). But they can get a little passive-aggressive at times, especially when in large groups (when I'm overwhelmingly outnumbered). In particular, I'm thinking of the big picnic that's the annual family reunion. A picnic means food; food means people will eat; eating means Xtians will want to "say grace" beforehand. And one of my family members is a pastor; invariably, no matter how many others have helped themselves to food beforehand, he'll wait until I've grabbed a paper plate and am halfway along the picnic table, loading it up, then loudly make some comment like, "let's not forget to thank the Lord before we dig in." It's his little way of sticking it to me. Well, it's a tradeoff; if that's all that's gonna happen, I can put up with it. (On the flip side -- I've pointed out my uncle's "selective perception" to a few younger relatives, and they agree with me that it's pretty funny; it obviously says more about my uncle than about me.)

 

I do find the "you have to pray" moment to be pretty annoying. I used to bow my head and just be quiet, but now I just sit there quietly and look around, and I've been surprised a few times by who is doing the same thing as me.

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My Dad hated the church, but, at his funeral he was of the age for it to be expected to have a 'religious' ceremony. He also hate eulogies by people who had no more idea about the deceased than they had about flying...

 

So I killed two birds with one stone... Hebrews 13: 1-4 (omitting the latter part)

 

1Keep on loving each other as brothers. 2Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. 3Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

 

4Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have...

 

since he was generous, cared about people, had simple tastes and would have died under torture before having an away game from my mother... He was also a violent loon monkey who never got over the mopping up detail in Yugoslavia, that made him the most dangerous, and toughest, man I've ever known, right up until the chemical cosh worked... Only man I knew who could not only make nunchucku but use them to devestating effect (from nothing but rubber pipe and spliced rope... you had to be there) AND could take apart a rugby team (rather like a Football team, just less padding) single (and bare) handed. As he once said to me, he only had two talents (by his own estimation) welding, and delivering pain. I think he was a failure in his own eyes... which is sad, since he achieved more than most of his contemporaries...

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On the subject I'm going to my cousin's wedding next month..I s'pose they're comparitively liberal Xtians, my Aunt even found Monty Python's "The Life Of Brian" funny. It will be interesting to go as an observer...

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