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I no longer believe


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Sent in by Ray J

 

Well I'm gonna keep mine short, I'm doing this for the purposes of 'coming out,' to finalise within myself what I have come to understand.

 

I am a bible college graduate (Faith Mission Bible College, Edinburgh) and a BA(Hons) Theology graduate (Nazarene Theological College, Manchester.)

 

The first inkling that it was all nonsense was when I said in one of my missionary reports in-front of hundreds of people that I gave all of the glory to God for our missionary success and not to the organisation (I actually said it emphatically three times to impress my peers) my Faith Mission overseers pulled me in for saying this (SURPRISE!! Thought I was doing what was expected) gave me the most blatant b******ing I had had up to that point, made me pray at the end to make it 'Christian' and then boasted to someone that I was 'that small' (showing a small size with fingers) when I left the office.

 

It's not out of anger at this that I left, although I am angry at how I was treated, it's just that this made me realise that I'd been serving a system and not Jesus. So, I resolved to serve Jesus alone, and went to do my BA to learn more about the Bible and the tradition so I could serve my God in full truth and honesty forever-more, over the process of studying I slowly came to realise that it doesn't make sense. I've spent the last 3 years since graduating trying to convince myself that it is true, but it can't be done, the evidence says it's not, and I feel so happy that I no longer believe in this. I feel so free, so redeemed, it's unbelievable!

 

Thanks to deciding to serve Jesus alone I no longer believe in him or the system they blamed him on (if he ever even existed of course.)

 

I'm not an atheist though, I don't think that makes any sense either, ya know, eternally existent matter makes a whole lot less sense to me than an eternally existent supreme intelligence/ non-matter and but I can understand why some are. It might even be 'god' who helped me get out of the Christian nonsense. Only problem is I gave my whole education over to this Christian foolishness, despite one of my teachers telling me not to, what a waste, I coulda been a psychologist or something eh!

 

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