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Looking Down On People


LookingGlass
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Okay, not that I necessarily look down on my mother, but when I was a christian she was one of the wisest women ever. She knew so much about the bible and was so "strong in her faith" that I believed that she could do no wrong. But these days, not so. My mom still thinks I'm a believer, and I can't bring myself to tell her otherwise. One day I was flipping through the tv channels and came across one of those bible documentaries on the History channel and habitually stopped to watch it. The professor talking said something like, "...so this means that the bible might not be inspired by God, IF there is any God at all..." and then I remembered that my devout mom was sitting right across from me so I quickly turned to make it look like I stopped on that channel by accident. With a sincerely frightened look on her face, she said "I would be scared to say anything like that!" and I knew that she meant that she would be scared that God would punish her for doubting. I mumbled, "Well, he's a scientist..." and changed the subject. On another occasion, she was telling me how one of her friends was having heart trouble, a few weeks after she had attended the funeral of another friend who had died of a heart attack. She told me it was scary, and said "You know how in the bible where it talks about in the last days, men's hearts failing them for fear?" And in that moment, I felt so embarrassed for her. One because she had totally misinterpreted the verse, and two, she failed to realize that many african american men her age suffer from heart trouble, divine intervention aside. So tonight I was just thinking, wow, my mother used to be such a huge pillar in my life. And in some ways she still is, but now I see her as a mentally feeble person at the same time. It kind of hurts.

That's my vent for today...

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I think what you describe is particularly true with our parents.

 

At one time, we were wholly dependent on them and the decisions they made for us. They were THE ultimate authority for us, and the ultimate wisdom (for us), whether they were in reality the best parents around, the most toxic, or somewhere in between.

 

I guess a coming of age where we see our parents' fallibility is part of life. If we're lucky, they didn't manipulate us to believe they were infallible, so our shift isn't so far, we're not disillusioned, and we come out realizing that our parents, while fallible, are pretty great people with a lot of wisdom. If we're unlucky, we deified them while they abused our psyches, and their fall from grace is dramatic and far. If we're even more unlucky, we're under their thumbs and terrorized for life.

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