Jump to content

Letter To My Christian Parents.


TheMathGuy
 Share

Recommended Posts

So the good news is, after much reflection and more pondering of the evidence, I'm finally starting to work my way out of the confusion of my crisis of faith. It has actually been several years since I first started having questions/difficulties with the Christian faith.

 

The bad news is, it is not on the side you're probably hoping for. Rather than my faith getting stronger, the more evidence I see the less believable Christianity becomes. I've seen enough evidence that I now no longer consider myself a Christian. It's not what I believe.

 

I've seen enough evidence to be convinced that the Bible is not historically accurate (in fact it's possible the person "Jesus" might never have existed, though I could go either way on that one). I've become strongly convinced evolution really is true. Hard to swallow I know, but I can no longer ignore the extraordinary mountain of evidence for it. As counterintuitive as it might seem, humans and monkeys really did evolve from a common ancestor. There is undeniable scientific evidence for it. I have also seen how easily people's minds can be tricked into believing a certain event was supernatural. Psychics, cults, mediums, etc all use a variety of techniques to trick people's minds into the thinking their power is real. Spiritual experiences can be re-created by stimulating certain parts of the brain or by taking certain psychadelic drugs. Suggestible minds are very quick to see faces in clouds of dust, ghosts, etc... As far as any REAL evidence of anything supernatural existing however, I have seen none. And I've spent time considering what people commonly give as evidence. It's not valid. The same goes for the afterlife. I see no evidence to suppose we get any other life than this one. As much as we might want to have eternal life, wanting something does not make it true. Whether you or I like it or not, if death is truly the end, then we can't change that fact simply by "wishing" it to be so. I am now a secular agnostic nontheist, and I expect I will probably remain so for the rest of my life.

 

I am not particularly pleased with Christianity (or religion in general for that matter). I don't like the way it imprisons people's minds by convincing them that not believing Christianity actually condemns a person to eternal torment. How can you possibly be open-minded when your eternal destiny is hinging on what you believe? And yet, if the real truth is what you're after, how can you possibly find it if you're not willing to change your mind about any belief which you might hold? If I really believe that I am going to Hell if I don't believe in Christianity, then how can I possibly question it? I can pretend to question it, but I can never TRULY consider the possibility of it's being false. I can only consider the arguments against Christianity in the light of "How can I deconstruct them?", or "How can I reassure myself that what I believe really is true after all?", but never "Is what I believe actually true? What if it's not?".

 

I know too many atheists to think that they are all morally depraved people and are deserving of eternal torment, and try as I might I could not bring myself to believe that a loving God would do that to anyone, no matter how much bad they might have done in their life. Nor can I believe a good God would reward people for their ignorance, which is essentially what they are being asked to do when they are asked to believe in miracles. I think a person can honestly seek the truth in life and come to the conclusion of atheism, and if that's true, then if God really exists is morally perfect and all-powerful, such a God would not allow such a person to be condemned to eternal torment. As Christians we try to make up all kinds of excuses as to why God can be all-loving and still do that, but I simply cannot see a God who would do such a terrible thing to anybody as anything but evil.

 

And hence I am not a Christian any more.

 

-- Nate

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a powerful statement of non-faith, MathGuy. Thanks for sharing it. I hope your family will continue to accept you whatever your beliefs or non-beliefs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nate, it's an extraordinary letter, and if you've actually sent it, that must have taken an extraordinary amount of courage.

 

The fallout, though, can be extraordinary, too.

 

I hope you're prepared for the anguish this may cause your parents, and that you're able to see their pain as real while still remaining strong against a tide of emotionalism.

 

If none of this happens; if your parents are able to accept the reasonableness of what you've written; then yours will be a truly rare and precious de-conversion situation. I so hope for this latter outcome for you.

 

Be sure to use these forums for help in whatever the aftermath turns out to be, because a change in your family dynamic, for good or ill, is almost inevitable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

....The fallout, though, can be extraordinary, too.

 

I hope you're prepared for the anguish this may cause your parents, and that you're able to see their pain as real while still remaining strong against a tide of emotionalism....

 

Hey Nate,

 

I must admit, you wrote a good letter, even though I think an actual conversation is preferable to setting things in stone, signing and dating it. But hey, I do not know you, nor your parents, and a letter works depending on the family circumstances.

 

I particularly liked your comment: "I don't like the way it imprisons people's minds by convincing them that not believing Christianity actually condemns a person to eternal torment. How can you possibly be open-minded when your eternal destiny is hinging on what you believe?" Nice touch, Nate, rational and touching on the intellectual dishonesty required to believe this crap.

 

But Pitchu is right. There may be mucho fireworks, screaming matches from hell. Anguished manipulation that you're "hurting your mother" or "what did we do to deserve this" sort of scripting. Most unpleasant, and potentially causing long lasting alienation.

 

Of course, if your parents are people you would rather have out of your life (abusive, tight-wads, too demanding of your performance as their "investment," etc.), maybe you want to ramp up the vitriole in the text, citing your emotional anguish perhaps - your current letter is most composed and calm.

 

Good luck, dude.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is a very good letter, and I wish you the best of luck with your family. I hope the fallout isn't too bad.

 

I don't mean this as a thread hijack, but I hate math with a passion. I avoid doing even simple math whenever possible. I can do the math required to make change easily in my head though, and I find it frightening how many younger folks I run into at the cash register these days who can't even do that. :twitch::eek: I managed to pass college algebra years ago, but the only way I could do it was to toss logic and common sense out the window and learn an artificial set of rules so I could get through the class. I made a "C" in the class and was glad to be done with it. :phew:

 

Just my two cents about math. I tend to be much better at stuff like language and writing myself. Welcome to the forums! Glory! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good Luck MathGuy. I thought your letter was to the point and powerful. For your sake I hope that your family is accepting of your decision, but either way know that you have lots of support at this forum. Please write back and let us know how things went.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I have gotten a response from my mother, but only to say that she has no comment. I can understand why she might not want to talk about it right now. I at least hope she's thinking about it though. Both of my parents are pretty reasonable people, but they also both feel very strongly about their faith. So it's hard to say just what will happen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is a very good letter, and I wish you the best of luck with your family. I hope the fallout isn't too bad.

 

I don't mean this as a thread hijack, but I hate math with a passion. I avoid doing even simple math whenever possible. I can do the math required to make change easily in my head though, and I find it frightening how many younger folks I run into at the cash register these days who can't even do that. :twitch::eek: I managed to pass college algebra years ago, but the only way I could do it was to toss logic and common sense out the window and learn an artificial set of rules so I could get through the class. I made a "C" in the class and was glad to be done with it. :phew:

 

Just my two cents about math. I tend to be much better at stuff like language and writing myself. Welcome to the forums! Glory! :)

 

Well, "to each his own", as I like to say. Some people just aren't that into math. Many more have had less-the-fun experiences with math in the past. Personally I don't think I could stand having to memorize an artificial set of rules if I didn't comprehend the reasoning behind them--It would drive me bonkers! And given that it was college-level algebra as opposed to high-school algebra I can imagine it got pretty advanced.

 

I'm not going to try to force math down your throat, but I would be interested in getting any feedback you might have on my attempts at making entertaining and educational videos: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=361F837DBED4CAFF

Perhaps we can start a different thread to continue this discussion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I have gotten a response from my mother, but only to say that she has no comment. I can understand why she might not want to talk about it right now. I at least hope she's thinking about it though. Both of my parents are pretty reasonable people, but they also both feel very strongly about their faith. So it's hard to say just what will happen.

 

I would take this as good news so far. At least she didn't rant and rave and try to force you to change your mind. Give her some time to consider what you said in your letter and make it clear that you still share many things as a family, just not religion. I'm holding thumbs for you that everything will work out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*Hugs*

 

I hope your parents are as reasonable as mine were when I told them. Best of luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a good letter.

 

I wasn't brave enough to tell my parents, so I put my story on a web page and one day my mom found and read it. I was at university so she talked with me on aim and was reasonable about it. My parents said nothing about books like the God Delusion lying around my room. Another time she told me about her brother who lives next door and how he didn't believe, something I didn't realize. They both went to Catholic school with their brothers and sisters and my father. She once told me about him running away from the school. When I was still a believer, I got some atlases, including a biblical one for my family one Christmas. My dad rolled his eyes when he saw the bible one. :HaHa:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.