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God Burps...er, Works In Mysterious Ways!


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Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, having the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. He laid hold of the dragon, that serpent of old, who is the Devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years; and he cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal on him, so that he should deceive the nations no more till the thousand years were finished. But after these things he must be released for a little while.


- Revelation 20:1-3



Now when the thousand years have expired, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations which are in the four corners of the earth...


- Revelation 20:7-8a



If this is not proof of biblegod's great love toward mankind I don't know what is. He supposedly will lock up Satan for 1,000 years, a time in which the earth will know 1,000 years of peace and bliss, but will release him after those 1,000 years to allow him to go deceiving people again so that ultimately god can devour them with his great fire. Makes absolutely perfect sense to me and this is why he's god and you're an idiot who is not supposed to question his marvelous ways.

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Good find.

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Yeah I remember that stuff about locking Satan up for 1,000 years only to let him go later. THAT part never made any sense to me at all. I spent hours in vain trying to figure out how to put that piece of the "last days" puzzle into place. I used to think "ok, after all this stuff going on in Revelation, finally you get to get rid of the bad guy, only to let him go again". I heard a preacher once say that it was to "test" the people after the millennium who hadn't been tested the way we were because the millennium is a time of peace and perfection and all. But then how does that fit the other ideas of the messiah ruling from the millennium on into eternity (all the 'he will reign forevermore' verses). It just didn't seem to fit.

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No fair! Satan gets parolled after a measly 1000 years, yet I as a non-believer would be sentenced to torment for all eternity.


Is this something like the deal with Bush commuting Scooter Libby's sentence? Maybe god is giving satan a short sentence for the same reason - to prevent him from disclosing facts that would [further] incriminate the administration.

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Yeah, I knew about those verses. I took a bloody Bible class in Revelation and got some intense study into it, and I make my best effort to forget it. :grin:


See if I can remember anything about the time line...


Antichrist comes to power, 3.5 years of world peace

Christian (maybe - not sure) taken to Heaven, and some people start to believe because of it

The tribulations - Antichrist for 3.5 years use his dominance and persecute the "new" Christians

Jesus comes back on a cloud and destroy Antichrist, Satan put in prison.

1000 years of peace, through a 12 member leadership and Jesus in a magical Jerusalem floating in the air over the real Jerusalem

Satan is released again, and somehow there are still a large amount of unbelievers in the world, even with a floating city in the sky as evidence for the religion, and Satan rallies these unbelievers to attack in the last war, 'Armageddon.

Then Satan is thrown into the lake of fire. (So he doesn't get a free-pass, only a temporary release to mess up the world once more. You think God would know by now that he's a bad influence?)


I've heard other versions of this, but I think this is the one I got in Bible school. Some ideas don't include the 1000 years, and place 'Armageddon after the tribulations.


But we shouldn't worry, since Arnold Schwarzenegger will be there and blast the head off of Satan with a RPG.




Btw, doesn't the whole "deceive" bit kind of hint that free will isn't as "free" as it sounds? Is it really the victims fault that he's fooled? Is it the old grannies fault they get decieved by the con men and lose all their savings? Is it really the rape victims fault because she dressed such that the rapist attacked her? Is it really the bullied kids fault that he got thrown to the ground and beaten up? In the end, that someone is deceived and henceforth punished for it, only shows that mercy does not exist in God and God's justice is corrupt.

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I told my fundie ex-girlfriend about those verses.


She didn't believe they were in there and thought I was making it up.

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