Honesty To Be Thrown Out With The Bathwater?

[Grandpa Harley]

Did that upset the wee man too?

Nah, the opposite: resignment. I just give up on trying to make you understand. You really won't. You don't care.

 

Thus I see a child throwing a tantrum because people didn't stroke his little head and dry his tear stained face.

Seriously, WHAT do you think you as a responsible and wise parent should do to the child throwing the tantrum?

 

Since tantrums are a form of hysteria, bring the child out of it... a sharp slap across the behind does that...

 

Then, once the hysteria has been dispelled explain that reality doesn't have to suit anyone, it just is.

 

As to the rest, if I thought you were a waste of carbon, I'd have not bothered with the thread. We're all doin' our best here, and none of us are professional counsellors similar, even if we were, help over the internet isn't really a way forward.

 

We're all damaged. Shaken, but not broken... we survived the cult and made it to the other side. Some of us as more in pain than others from the shock that our nearest and dearest will lie to us, and betray us for the 'love' of an imaginary friend. We do our best. We all, me included, give the best advice we can. In the end, you can take it or leave it, since, like so many other things in life, we ride a vicious trail alone. Others have ridden a similar trail, but the pot holes and rock slides happen in different places for different people...

 

Thus, it's not a map, it's not even a reliable pointer, it's just the best any of us can do to get you over the next mile of a hard trail we can't see, using the map in our mind of our trail... any advice given should be used with discernment, to see how it fits the trail you're on. Only thing I've found common to the journey across everyone I've spoken to, is that you can't second guess the trail, and the first casualty is one's preconceptions of what one needs... it's never what you exepect.

 

And don't go accusing me of being 'wise', 'responsible', or 'nice'... I'm none of them... I just do what I think is needed in the case at hand...

 

One final comment... the word is 'resignation', not 'resignment'...

[mwc]

to mwc, to grandpa harley

 

OK

You offend me.

You don't realize you offend me, but you still offend me.

Ask me if I care if I offend you? If you respect honesty, and disclosure, then you should expect to be offended on a fairly regular basis. There's really no way to avoid it. However, I have tried to be polite...but that is not a courtesy that I will extend much longer.

 

I came here in hopes of meeting someone older and wiser and more experienced than i am, to get precious advice. What i get from some is "get professional help!"

And you accomplished your goal. Congratulations. However, you are not wise or mature enough to realize this is what happened. When you seek help with your car from a friend who occasionally repairs cars with spare parts around his house and he tells you "This is beyond my ability...you should hire a professional mechanic." Do you deride your friend for not having the ability to repair your car or do you appreciate his honesty for referring you to someone else and not damaging your car further in his vain attempt to live up to your standard of what he should be able to accomplish? It appears you would do the latter. You you put your friend down for not being the mechanic you want him to be and lecture him on how professional mechanics are all criminals. I'm sorry that your shortcomings are getting in the way of your getting help.

 

Do you even know what that is? Miracle healing for the insane provided by modern medical science? Being conducted by professionals makes it good?

"Professional help" in my opinion means they have training, but more importantly, EXPERIENCE (so choose well), when dealing with people. I don't speak to as many people with these issues as they do. It's as simple as that. Just as someone who works on one or two cars a year as opposed to someone who does one or two per week. That constant exposure allows them to gain a lot of knowledge that a layman may never gain. Certainly even you can understand that? So, we do agree that the simple fact that it comes from a "professional" doesn't make it "good" the fact that a professional is in a position to gain the experience that others won't. So choose a "seasoned" professional.

 

If therapy fails, that's what also the therapist often tells. "We cannot help the patient, he resists our attempts." It's just the modern day authority of understanding what's going on in a troubled mind.

I would say that in many cases people do resist what they say. You're actively resisting my suggestion to seek professional help and are actively railing against it here. Have you ever been or is this simply an irrational fear? It seems the latter. Why? Because you are afraid that they might actually find fault with you (as I did) and tell you to change yourself, your relationship and your life. You would resist just a you are here. You would quit. So out of fear you pre-judge them, dooming the entire exercise to failure and retain your current path. You are not seeking any honesty or wisdom. You are a fearful child looking to blame your situation on the church and for us "wise" ex-c's to join the chorus. Sorry.

 

Yet, there are those experienced who try to help with their own wisdom. They might seek for more REAL help if they need, but they DO take responsibility and understand their ability and own wisdom. "I don't want to meddle with this kind of problems, i could just make it worse" is just cowardice and running away from the responsibility. A filthy excuse.

So you're saying that there are those that are truly wise that would want to get deeply entangled in your personal life? I'd love to meet them. The truly wise know to stay far away from that kind of mess and I respect the hell out of them (for they I truly wiser that I). Personally, I'm starting to think along the lines of Solomon where we should just cut you in half and see who gives a shit. I don't think we'd get any two whores to speak up but you never know until you try.

 

Now, i do realize you don't care about some kid on the internet like you'd care about your own son or grandson, but 'go ask somebody else' is harsh anyway. "Get therapy" is just a nice way of putting it, but the only one it helps is you. It lulls you into a false peace, lets you think that you've really done something that means something. Hello! Nowadays any 10 year old kid knows of therapy. You introduce them nothing new.

Look. If you want any of us to care about you on any real level...that's just not going to happen...especially since you've got so few posts. Who the hell are you? I have no clue. You're some text on the screen to me and that's all you'll ever be. If you want someone to know you better then find someone in person. I told you who that could possibly be, because I honestly thought that was the best course of action, and you rejected my suggestion. Okay. You made your choice.

 

I gave you my *guess* as to why you might behave the way you do in a follow-up posting just to be nice but you seemed to ignore that altogether. Message received. Unless you hear what you want to hear you don't hear anything. There's no communication going on here so I haven't came back to this thread until just now to find GH defending me (BTW, thanks) and all sorts of strangeness going on.

 

My parents and grandparents aren't stupid but they believe in god. They are wise and understanding but their world view contains a lot of explaining with the divine. If i want their wisdom, i get something that contains a lot of what i cannot accept. So basically they're wise and i love and respect them and i think they're idiots to believe in invisible beings. Did you ever deal with this very hurtful issue? If not, tell me you have no idea and wish me luck, but don't tell me i should get therapy. That's not what i need. I need wisdom.

But you don't really want wisdom. I'm reasonably certain your family has offered you wisdom. What they didn't do was agree with you so you keyed in on their shortcoming, their religion, and colored them with it. You call your family wise and say you love and respect them but call them idiots in the same breath. You have no respect for them and you don't consider them wise. You place yourself above them.

 

I quite certain your "honesty" is just a weapon that you use to inflict damage onto others. You have no real interest in being honest although I'm positive you demand others are honest with you lest they incur your wrath (so to speak). I suspect you're really the insecure child at the core and fear that a true professional would see right through you in a heartbeat.

 

mwc

[Grandpa Harley]

MWC, (side bar)

 

you're one of the very few people on here I'd ask for a balanced opinion, thus I'd have been a hypocrite not to stand on my principles... so no thanks needed...

[Grandpa Harley]

The answer is, 'Oh, same old same old, how's church with you?' and then listen to whos' shagging whom for the next hour...

 

Yeah, pretty much so. lol. And my mother just loves her gossip. Now that I'm a "more mature" adult, I'm hearing about all the skeletons in every family member's closet.

 

That crazy infighting works every time

 

You'll have to post the juicy stuff

 

Nothing like schadenfreude to make life go with a swing...

[ToHellWithMe]

And don't go accusing me of being 'wise', 'responsible', or 'nice'... I'm none of them... I just do what I think is needed in the case at hand...

What the hell is this? You don't want to be wise or responsible? To me that's the biggest dream. I want to be wise and responsible when i'm old so that i'll truly earn the respect children and grandchildren.

One final comment... the word is 'resignation', not 'resignment'...

Thanks, gotta remember that.

 

So, what you're telling me using the word 'trail' a lot is that you don't know what could help anyone else and that the main lesson you've learned is that it's unknowable. Ever thought you could share your own experience and that if it's similar enough, the one you're discussing with could find some of what they need right there?

 

mwc,

 

You want to be careful not to damage me and you don't really care about me.

BEEEEP. Contradiction.

 

You don't have to be afraid of hurting me with your advice, whatever you could think of. You didn't fear that when you suggested therapy. I didn't like that at all. Still, that's all you can be arsed to give. Yet, when i point that out, you throw an equally big tantrum as i did. Seems you have much potential for tantrums but not much for advice. I really do touch a sore spot in you, like a therapist would. I suggest there's a fault in you but you refuse to accept it.

 

I'm an intelligent human being, i can think twice about whatever i'm told. If you would give me an example how you dealt with the family, do you really think i would imitate what you did and then, should i fail, come crying to you and blame you?

 

I'm not in therapy but i do meet a psychologist biweekly and a psychiatrist sometimes. When i tell them about the advice that i've got from non-professionals, they say it's therapy-like, and are definitely happy on the thinking i've done on those issues that i've learned from others, non-professionals.

 

Hell, this is life. Everyone is pro on that. And hell, this is Ex-C, many here are very experienced at dealing with their family. If i need advice on how to deal with my christian family, should i go to therapist or should i go and ask people who probably have dealt with their christian families, how they dealt with their christian families?

 

I'm happier with your newest reply, though, than with anything before, you gave my family relationship more thought than before. Yeah, i told i respect them and that i find them idiots in same sentence. Do you really think i didn't realize that when i wrote it? Hell, i did realize, and put it that way so that everyone would understand that i do notice that paradox and maybe discuss it with me intelligently. However, you're just pointing out that paradox to me and saying it's a contradiction... do you think that's anything new to me? That's just your opinion with no back up. Well, i guess you might call the ad hominem ending a back up but i fail to see its relevance to the paradox.

[mwc]

You want to be careful not to damage me and you don't really care about me.

BEEEEP. Contradiction.

Not really but you can go ahead and see it that way if you like. I don't care about the random person on the street but I don't go around punching them in the face. It's really not a good way to run a society. You're just twisting the meaning of the word "care" to suit your purposes is all. Whatever you need to do.

 

You don't have to be afraid of hurting me with your advice, whatever you could think of. You didn't fear that when you suggested therapy. I didn't like that at all. Still, that's all you can be arsed to give. Yet, when i point that out, you throw an equally big tantrum as i did. Seems you have much potential for tantrums but not much for advice. I really do touch a sore spot in you, like a therapist would. I suggest there's a fault in you but you refuse to accept it.

You are correct. I thoughtlessly referred you someone I thought could help you better than myself. How selfish of me. Next time I will refer you to the garbage collector or the next person on the street you come into contact with. It seems that you will simply twist things to suit your argument so I will agree with you on this point to simplify the discussion.

 

Oddly enough you seem to have mistaken me for someone that is not human. I do not get upset? I do not get the opportunity to rebut your statement? I guess I do not without being accused of throwing a "tantrum." I never claimed to be anymore than I am but you seemed to have made me into something I am not. I am just someone that has been offering their opinion.

 

I'm an intelligent human being, i can think twice about whatever i'm told. If you would give me an example how you dealt with the family, do you really think i would imitate what you did and then, should i fail, come crying to you and blame you?

Yes. Not that it truly matters.

 

I'm not in therapy but i do meet a psychologist biweekly and a psychiatrist sometimes. When i tell them about the advice that i've got from non-professionals, they say it's therapy-like, and are definitely happy on the thinking i've done on those issues that i've learned from others, non-professionals.

This is a most odd statement. I call bullshit on an appeal to authority. You previously disrespected, quite completely, the entire profession, and now you respect their professional opinion of some second or third hand interpretation of some non-professional advice? As if this somehow validates all non-professional advice as being as good as professional advice...or does it simply mean that these "professionals" are only as good as amateurs? I'm going to stick with my original assessment and just call bullshit on this statement.

 

Hell, this is life. Everyone is pro on that. And hell, this is Ex-C, many here are very experienced at dealing with their family. If i need advice on how to deal with my christian family, should i go to therapist or should i go and ask people who probably have dealt with their christian families, how they dealt with their christian families?

What does any of this have to do with religion? I know this religion inside and out. I read the bible just about each and every day...sometimes for hours on end. So if you want to discuss the actual religion I can do that. But the topic at hand is "honesty" and that exists with or without a religion.

 

But just so you know...plenty of people on this site have seen therapists as part of the process of leaving the faith...so don't dismiss it out of hand. There are many paths that people will take to dealing with the same situation. Arrogance will lead you to believe their is only one. Try reading the various ex-monies if you're curious about peoples exits from the faith. Some include dealings with families.

 

I'm happier with your newest reply, though, than with anything before, you gave my family relationship more thought than before. Yeah, i told i respect them and that i find them idiots in same sentence. Do you really think i didn't realize that when i wrote it? Hell, i did realize, and put it that way so that everyone would understand that i do notice that paradox and maybe discuss it with me intelligently. However, you're just pointing out that paradox to me and saying it's a contradiction... do you think that's anything new to me? That's just your opinion with no back up. Well, i guess you might call the ad hominem ending a back up but i fail to see its relevance to the paradox.

Of course you're happier with it. I knew you'd be.

 

Let's look at your current game you're playing with me though. You appreciate honesty. Then you admit to playing word games. Then you want me to, somehow, offer more than my opinion from a distance, about someone I know nothing about. And you expect me to take this seriously? To really put a lot of effort into this? I already summed you up and dismissed you at the end of my last post. When you figure out how ridiculous you actually sound go ahead try again. Maybe I'll be up for another go around then.

 

mwc

[Legion]

You know, one of the things that continues to really upset me about Christianity is the way that it seems specifically designed to damage the proper boundaries of people. I mean it often seems to me that religion may be an elaborate means to deal with the ego. And in its attempts to dispel or mitigate the ego it often damages people.

 

I think it would be beneficial for many who find themselves aggrieved by religion to make an assessment of what belongs to them.

 

My thoughts are my own.

My feelings are my own.

My will is my own.

My imaginings are my own.

 

Man, take account of what is yours. If you wish to share these things then I hope you will feel free to do so, but you are not obligated.

 

I had teacher once in the fourth grade. She had just given us a homework assignment. I thought it was unnecessary, so I asked my teacher, “Do I have to do this homework?” She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Son, you don’t have to do anything in life but die.” I’ll never forget her words. They were so true and so liberating. I completed that homework assignment and I did a fine job of it too.

 

Many religions won’t tell you the truth. You aren’t obligated to do anything in life but die. Everything else is choice and consequence.

 

I hope I made some sense in all that.

[ToHellWithMe]

Not really but you can go ahead and see it that way if you like. I don't care about the random person on the street but I don't go around punching them in the face. It's really not a good way to run a society. You're just twisting the meaning of the word "care" to suit your purposes is all. Whatever you need to do.

I find it absurd you're using this kind of arguments. Punching in the face is quite different thing than failing to help. If a child is crying where you pass by do you leave them alone because you might cause more harm if you do something? If it's a grown-up but small woman is crying what do you do? What if it's a grown-up, large man? Do you really leave them all alone for the same reason? Will you get professionals to deal with it in every case?

 

You are correct. I thoughtlessly referred you someone I thought could help you better than myself. How selfish of me.

I don't blame you for selfishness. I blame you for not being able to think of anything else but professionals. I blame you for washing hands and running away from things and calling that wisdom.

 

I also blame you for uncreative aggression.

Personally, I'm starting to think along the lines of Solomon where we should just cut you in half and see who gives a shit. I don't think we'd get any two whores to speak up but you never know until you try.

This one makes absolutely no sense.

I quite certain your "honesty" is just a weapon that you use to inflict damage onto others

If just the knowledge of my feelings and thoughts indeed does inflict damage upon somebody, where is the fault at? Did you even think about this?

 

This is a most odd statement. I call bullshit on an appeal to authority. You previously disrespected, quite completely, the entire profession, and now you respect their professional opinion of some second or third hand interpretation of some non-professional advice? As if this somehow validates all non-professional advice as being as good as professional advice...or does it simply mean that these "professionals" are only as good as amateurs? I'm going to stick with my original assessment and just call bullshit on this statement.

THIS is most odd statement

You respected the authority of professionals and their pro opinion on non-professional help doing the trick is something you seem to have problems accepting. My model is not in contradiction with this outcome nor with the fact that i can find some statements of the pro's reasonable.

 

What does any of this have to do with religion? I know this religion inside and out. I read the bible just about each and every day...sometimes for hours on end. So if you want to discuss the actual religion I can do that. But the topic at hand is "honesty" and that exists with or without a religion.

This one is weird, too. Bible is not everything there's to christianity. The meme is more than what is written down. What is important to the meme is the distribution of emphasis on different points, many of which you might find written down in bible, but also many of which is not mentioned explicitly there - say the HOWTO of glossolalia.

 

Finally, i don't want you to offer opinions on my situation. I want you to tell me what did you do to solve the problem i'm talking about.

[ToHellWithMe]

I hope I made some sense in all that.

Quite enough sense for me to understand something!

 

You know, one of the things that continues to really upset me about Christianity is the way that it seems specifically designed to damage the proper boundaries of people. I mean it often seems to me that religion may be an elaborate means to deal with the ego. And in its attempts to dispel or mitigate the ego it often damages people.

 

I think it would be beneficial for many who find themselves aggrieved by religion to make an assessment of what belongs to them.

 

My thoughts are my own.

My feelings are my own.

My will is my own.

My imaginings are my own.

 

Man, take account of what is yours. If you wish to share these things then I hope you will feel free to do so, but you are not obligated.

 

I agree completely. I'm sharing what is mine. I'm not telling someone to act as i like, except maybe in that i'm asking them to share what is theirs. They can refuse, though.

Well, maybe 'completely' was exaggeration. I'm not very comfortable using the concept of 'ego'. Haven't studied psychologhy much yet, although i intend to.

 

I had teacher once in the fourth grade. She had just given us a homework assignment. I thought it was unnecessary, so I asked my teacher, “Do I have to do this homework?” She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Son, you don’t have to do anything in life but die.” I’ll never forget her words. They were so true and so liberating. I completed that homework assignment and I did a fine job of it too.

 

Many religions won’t tell you the truth. You aren’t obligated to do anything in life but die. Everything else is choice and consequence.

This is a recently learned lesson for me. I've felt a crushing amount of obligations until the last months. Nowadays i've been gradually trying to lift them off me. Earlier, i acted how i acted because i felt i have to act so to be good. I went to school and studied because i thought i have to become a proper member of the society. Now i realize i don't have to. Those who say i do, i cast away from my thoughts as shit-spouting control-freaks. I guess i'm finally starting to get free of the effects of christian mentality and thinking patterns.

[Amethyst]

I came here in hopes of meeting someone older and wiser and more experienced than i am, to get precious advice. What i get from some is "get professional help!"

 

The reason I said that is because I have had my life personally affected by suicide. I had a housemate who, several years ago, killed himself by starting a fire. I survived by pure luck. I was asleep at the time and the windows broke due to the change in air pressure and heat. Some thought it was a "miracle" and that it was "god's will" that I survived, however I fail to see why I should worship a god who would knowingly murder my agnostic housemate and send him to hell. I am not joking.

 

Depression is a serious illness. It is not something to be taken lightly. If you are seriously considering killing yourself, which you mentioned in your opening post, then yes, please get professional help for your illness. At lease see a counselor of some sort (non-religious of course). I give this advice for a reason. Take it or leave it, but please do not be offended by it. You asked for advice, you got it.

[ToHellWithMe]

Hi Amethyst!

 

I'm sorry, i didn't mean your advice about professional help. Your advice was clearly on depression. I realize most of the people here aren't the right people to ask for help with that. So advice to seek help elsewhere for that doesn't offend me at all.

 

I said also that i don't want to kill myself. Sometimes death seems the best choice, but that's just a thought brought by sometimes deeply depressed mood, but i intend to live nevertheless, my mood doesn't stay so bad for a long time. I'm on medication (SSRI) and that has helped me with depression, so no big worries.

[Amethyst]

Hi Amethyst!

 

I'm sorry, i didn't mean your advice about professional help. Your advice was clearly on depression. I realize most of the people here aren't the right people to ask for help with that. So advice to seek help elsewhere for that doesn't offend me at all.

 

I said also that i don't want to kill myself. Sometimes death seems the best choice, but that's just a thought brought by sometimes deeply depressed mood, but i intend to live nevertheless, my mood doesn't stay so bad for a long time. I'm on medication (SSRI) and that has helped me with depression, so no big worries.

 

Glad to hear that!

[Legion]

I had teacher once in the fourth grade. She had just given us a homework assignment. I thought it was unnecessary, so I asked my teacher, “Do I have to do this homework?” She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Son, you don’t have to do anything in life but die.” I’ll never forget her words. They were so true and so liberating. I completed that homework assignment and I did a fine job of it too.

 

Many religions won’t tell you the truth. You aren’t obligated to do anything in life but die. Everything else is choice and consequence.

This is a recently learned lesson for me. I've felt a crushing amount of obligations until the last months. Nowadays i've been gradually trying to lift them off me. Earlier, i acted how i acted because i felt i have to act so to be good. I went to school and studied because i thought i have to become a proper member of the society. Now i realize i don't have to. Those who say i do, i cast away from my thoughts as shit-spouting control-freaks. I guess i'm finally starting to get free of the effects of christian mentality and thinking patterns.

I think we can also acknowledge that your beliefs belong to you. Why then do you feel obligated to share them with anyone?

 

Oh, if only Christians would heed their own prayers. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those trespass against us.

[mwc]

I find it absurd you're using this kind of arguments. Punching in the face is quite different thing than failing to help. If a child is crying where you pass by do you leave them alone because you might cause more harm if you do something? If it's a grown-up but small woman is crying what do you do? What if it's a grown-up, large man? Do you really leave them all alone for the same reason? Will you get professionals to deal with it in every case?

Your argument is specious and you know it. Are you as helpless as a child? I thought you came into regular contact with professional therapists? You are a grown man. Take some responsibility for yourself and make no further attempt to pass this onto me. It will not work.

 

I don't blame you for selfishness. I blame you for not being able to think of anything else but professionals. I blame you for washing hands and running away from things and calling that wisdom.

You can blame me for anything you wish but it will make no difference. You are who and what you are. Someone who blames others. You came here and asked for advice. You got that advice. You rejected that advice (which is your privilege) and so we all move along.

 

I will now make one thing crystal clear to you. At no point did I take up personal responsibility for you. I can come and go as I please. You are mistaken if you are thinking that our "relationship" was anything different.

 

I also blame you for uncreative aggression.

Again. Blame away. This seems to be something you excel at.

 

This one makes absolutely no sense.

Then why not ignore it rather than going tit for tat? You've managed to ignore the actual statements that I made concerning your character so why not ignore the statements that truly made no sense at all? A poor attempt to embarrass me? I've looked far worse. You'll need to try harder.

 

If just the knowledge of my feelings and thoughts indeed does inflict damage upon somebody, where is the fault at? Did you even think about this?

You're placing blame at the feet of a complete stranger for "washing their hands" of you as if your fate rested up my shoulders. So truly you should understand the implications of sharing your thoughts, your "truths," with someone in an "intimate" relationship. Your very first statement above shows that you have a double standard. The "crying child" compared to the hurt adult (of course you're that adult). But the "words" hurled at you now, my "treatment" of you, if somehow different than your treatment of others. Your words are "honest" and I would imagine "noble" to some degree whereas mine are ignorant and hurtful. You've placed yourself in the position of authority once again and you will now teach me my lesson. So teach away.

 

THIS is most odd statement

You respected the authority of professionals and their pro opinion on non-professional help doing the trick is something you seem to have problems accepting. My model is not in contradiction with this outcome nor with the fact that i can find some statements of the pro's reasonable.

Then lets just agree that you're right since you already know it anyway. This is the most important lesson to learn if one is to stay in your good graces, is it not?

 

This one is weird, too. Bible is not everything there's to christianity. The meme is more than what is written down. What is important to the meme is the distribution of emphasis on different points, many of which you might find written down in bible, but also many of which is not mentioned explicitly there - say the HOWTO of glossolalia.

You're so right. I forgot all of xianity that existed prior to any scripture. Now what was that again? Don't forget you can't use ANY scripture including Jewish (or Greek, Egyptian, etc.) to back your claim. Oh. You now are holding a big old bag of nothing. Darn the luck. And here I thought we were going to have a really nice discussion too. Speaking in tongues is really not a xian phenomenon but simply just a variation of the oracle that is an extremely ancient tradition. The xians just, to my knowledge, opened it to the masses. Oh, but we learn about this in scriptures, so I guess we really shouldn't be discussing it.

 

Finally, i don't want you to offer opinions on my situation. I want you to tell me what did you do to solve the problem i'm talking about.

I'm afraid that isn't going to happen. I offered some personal insights into my life but beyond that my life isn't an open book for the whole to read. In addition, what worked for me may not work for you. Your ignorance is showing.

 

mwc

[Onyx]

My view on honesty is that it's useful. It can be liberating. It is earthshaking and glorious. But sometimes, slience or an occasional white lie can do you good, too. At times, slience and a white lie is better than going around blabbering your deepest thoughts, I've done that and paid dearly. Out of it, I knew better. Friends, you have to choose more carefully than enemies. They're more valuable than enemies. Remember that, honesty must not be thrown out along with the bathwater.

 

Now, don't annoy the people replying to you. We don't claim to be wise people. We can't be the wise persons to you. All we have to offer is our thoughts and our certain life experiences on this issue. We all don't know anything and we really don't. Nothing further are required of us. Don't shoot us too much or we might not help you all that much in the future. We're trying to get by and as you are too!

 

You have to grow up, confide in your true friend if you have one at hand, get help and take responsibility for yourself. That much we know.

[Unknowing1]

At times, slience and a white lie is better than going around blabbering your deepest thoughts, I've done that and paid dearly. Out of it, I knew better. Friends, you have to choose more carefully than enemies. They're more valuable than enemies. Remember that, honesty must not be thrown out along with the bathwater.

 

I so agree with you there. To me it isn't so much about being honest as it is about who to trust to be honest with.