Sparrow Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 Christians are very poor consumers. In fact, they’re quite pathetic consumers. If one was to consider religion and belief as “products” that you purchased, when you finally brought it home and took it from its’ wrapping or box, you’d quickly find that all the features and functions listed in the glossy brochures were either lies or the damn thing is broken. If you took it back to the manufacturer and demanded a new one because this one didn’t work, then you’d be even more disappointed by finding that the product still fails it’s even most basic claims. Prayers not answered, Jesus not coming back during the life time of the apostles, etc, are all spurious claims that have never functioned in the history of the product. What’s absolutely astonishing is the product is still on the market and this is more a credit to the marketing agency rather than the product itself. Hoards of incredibly stupid consumers flock to the warehouses of this manufacturer on a weekly basis and listen to the product specification that says something like, “Wow, when this item works, watch out, it’s gonna be fantastic!!”. All despite the fact that in the last 2000 years, no one has ever seen the damn thing working – there’s only ever been rumors of it working for exceptional individuals – never any proof. If a real company made these claims, a smart consumer would vote with their feet and walk away – yet somehow, this shitty pile of crap still draws a multitude of cowards who seem only interested in an ethereal promise of eternal life! Pathetic. Truly pathetic. ******** If possible, please attach a list of items you found in the Christian product that are non-functional. Perhaps we can persuade representatives of the manufacturer, who frequently grace us with their presence and abuse us for not have product loyalty, to explain the deficiencies. :wink: Thanks Spatz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparrow Posted August 19, 2007 Author Share Posted August 19, 2007 This post inspired by, and dedicated to, garisonjj. Thanks for the chat! Spatz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 When I was a kid, I was taught that THE defining characteristic of the free market was in the power and wisdom of the consumer. It was laid out that that the free market works by competitors presenting goods and services to consumers, and that the providers that offered higher quality at a lower price would succeed and thrive while those offering lower quality, poorer service, and higher prices would die out. So strongly was this message presented, so plausible sounding, and so gullible was I when I was a kid that I never questioned it until my sacred cows started to topple. Of course I've long since come to understand the involvement of both marketing and power brokering. xianity exploits both of these to the extreme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LithaB Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 Great post Sparrow! You forgot to include the most important claim, however: WARNING: Failure to use this product faithfully could result in social rejection (up to and including justifiable homicide by those faithful to the product), boils, plagues, insanity, demon-possession, and eternal torment. All of our other claims are open to interpretation and dependent upon absolute faith, but this one is guaranteed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparrow Posted August 19, 2007 Author Share Posted August 19, 2007 Great post Sparrow! You forgot to include the most important claim, however: WARNING: Failure to use this product faithfully could result in social rejection (up to and including justifiable homicide by those faithful to the product), boils, plagues, insanity, demon-possession, and eternal torment. All of our other claims are open to interpretation and dependent upon absolute faith, but this one is guaranteed. Oooh ... you're absolutely right. I did forget that. ... and it is typically christian-nasty too - (boils and plagues, etc - real nasty!) Good spot!! Thanks Willa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 Ya keep buying a "different product" every weekend and midweek, but it keeps doing the same thing... Nothing! Product only costs you *everything* *all your heart and mind* and then 10% off the top after the Goobers take theirs.. And you STILL expect this undelivered product to do something... "Anything"... Shit... I'm in the wrong end of the service industry! kL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 Ya keep buying a "different product" every weekend and midweek, but it keeps doing the same thing... Nothing! Product only costs you *everything* *all your heart and mind* and then 10% off the top after the Goobers take theirs.. And you STILL expect this undelivered product to do something... "Anything"... Shit... I'm in the wrong end of the service industry! kL Yeah, that's right, and that is why this particular shop is closed! We are not buying it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel.white Posted August 20, 2007 Share Posted August 20, 2007 If possible, please attach a list of items you found in the Christian product that are non-functional. Perhaps we can persuade representatives of the manufacturer, who frequently grace us with their presence and abuse us for not have product loyalty, to explain the deficiencies.When I was a consumer of the xian wares, I was always surprised and dismayed that the "will of god" or "god's plan" was never fully functional. Its astounding the major life decisions I made based on this faulty divining rod, and the destruction such horrible choices wrought. However, I always figured I had "misinterpreted" the signs. I guess that "holy spirit" was malfunctioning too, 'cuz the signs it sends always seem to be sock-puppets (to borrow someone elses phrase I read earlier). Aside from the telepathy prayer not working (even when I would lay hands on the people), I never was able to move a mountain, and I had much more f**** than a mustard seed. I never cast out demons, saw visions, prophesied, spoke in tongues, drank poison, healed a sick person (let alone an amputee) cast out a demon, transplanted a mulberry tree into the sea, had a holy flame rest over my head, saw "the father", or saw jesus. & when my f**** was gasping and crying and dying, and I was struggling so hard stay true to my beliefs, despite my desperate cries, I never put my fingers through his wrists or slid my hand into his side. I was only ever answered by nothing. The only thing this product gave me was anguish, depression, and self-loathing frustration, it had me very strongly considering suicide for many years. It destroyed my social development, and strained my relationships. All that, and I never even got a receipt for my monthly subscription fee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparrow Posted August 20, 2007 Author Share Posted August 20, 2007 ...Text... All that, and I never even got a receipt for my monthly subscription fee. Oh that's good! I guess it ultimateky means that the manufacture is not recording the transactiob and dodging the taxes too!! Thanks!! Spatz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LithaB Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Product only costs you *everything* *all your heart and mind* heart, mind, body, worldly possessions, they never stop asking. Its astounding the major life decisions I made based on this faulty divining rod, and the destruction such horrible choices wrought. I think back and just shake my head. So much time lost.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel.white Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 I think back and just shake my head. So much time lost.... Why I won't ever support a xian president. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightbearer Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Christians are very poor consumers. In fact, they’re quite pathetic consumers. If one was to consider religion and belief as “products” that you purchased, when you finally brought it home and took it from its’ wrapping or box, you’d quickly find that all the features and functions listed in the glossy brochures were either lies or the damn thing is broken. If you took it back to the manufacturer and demanded a new one because this one didn’t work, then you’d be even more disappointed by finding that the product still fails it’s even most basic claims. Prayers not answered, Jesus not coming back during the life time of the apostles, etc, are all spurious claims that have never functioned in the history of the product. What’s absolutely astonishing is the product is still on the market and this is more a credit to the marketing agency rather than the product itself. Hoards of incredibly stupid consumers flock to the warehouses of this manufacturer on a weekly basis and listen to the product specification that says something like, “Wow, when this item works, watch out, it’s gonna be fantastic!!”. All despite the fact that in the last 2000 years, no one has ever seen the damn thing working – there’s only ever been rumors of it working for exceptional individuals – never any proof. If a real company made these claims, a smart consumer would vote with their feet and walk away – yet somehow, this shitty pile of crap still draws a multitude of cowards who seem only interested in an ethereal promise of eternal life! Pathetic. Truly pathetic. ******** If possible, please attach a list of items you found in the Christian product that are non-functional. Perhaps we can persuade representatives of the manufacturer, who frequently grace us with their presence and abuse us for not have product loyalty, to explain the deficiencies. :wink: Thanks Spatz Sounds more like "Godless" communism too me. Wait in this long ass line while we take all your money at the point of a gun and threat of a labor camp and maybe in the future you might actually get something out of this, or your kids will, but don't worry because it's for the Greater Good of God's Great Plan. Consumers can't go anywhere esle because the Inquisition killed all the other competitors and made themselves the ultimate, one and only monoply of force on the entry into Heaven. Vote to Jesus' Party,... even though they aren't any other parties. Atheists? They are no such thing as atheists!! This is all propoganda made by those evil devil-worshipers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 If churches were regulated as a business (which they really are), consumers would be allowed to sue for lack of truth in advertising, and churches would quickly go bankrupt. It's only due to political correctness that they are still being treated separately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.B. Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Never mind that the tangible shit they DO sell is poorly-made. Listen to any of the most popular Xtian music groups out there, and you will find that they either all sound like 'devilish secular bands', which is to say they are poor copies of same, or they all sound like each other, especially when it comes to 'worship groups'. In the late '70s when i was a kid growing/throwing up in church, all the 'contemporary' worship muzak sounded like the fruity southern-California Maranatha! band. Fucking aging-hippie singalong shit. Now, they all want to sound like HillSpawn or one of those other fucking big-band, big-stage, big-show, big-hair, big-tits on a fucking pig Xtian roadshows. Get yourself this list of things and you, too can have a suck-sessful Xtian 'worship band': A white girl that thinks she can sing 'black' A tight/short/shiny/semi-revealing wardrobe for said white girl Lots of lipstick for said white girl Tight-shirted, muscular male band members (lots of smoke and lightshow distractions if no hunks can be had) Repetitive, banal, theologically grade-school lyrics that reinforce the guilt the crowd felt as they came in to the show hurting because the Xtian BS gawd let them down again, hence the need for more 'worship'. Oh, and merch. LOTS of fucking overpriced merch. WHY, again, is it that I can buy the most legendary, Grammy-award-winning albums from acknowledged musical geniuses in the seck-yoo-lurr world for $8, $9 or so, yet the ETERNAL WISDOM OF THE ALMIGHTY, SUNG TO THE LA-DEE-DA MUSIC OF GENERIC PLASTIC COVERMODELS WITH DOCTORATES IN PARROT LINGUISTICS has to cost me as much as a Subway lunch for my family of 4? $16-20 easy... I mistrust anyone who directs me to shit for sale when my questions are of a spiritual nature. Didn't Jayzus say, FREELY you received, FREELY give? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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