Wanted! A Christian That *i* Can Make Fun Of.

[dano]

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

[Grandpa Harley]

I bet you have a copper suit of armour that you wear on hilltops during thunderstorms while screaming "ALL THE GODS ARE BASTARDS!"

[dano]

I bet you have a copper suit of armour that you wear on hilltops during thunderstorms while screaming "ALL THE GODS ARE BASTARDS!"

 

How did all those knights ever get to the holy land?

 

Didn't they have lightning back in them days?

[Grandpa Harley]

They were doing what the LORD would do, if he knew the facts of the matter...

 

Joking aside, thunder storms were the scourge of long sieges, both for the attackers and the defenders...

[dano]

See!

You learn something every day.

 

To bad they didn't have Buddy, who could have explained anything to God, that needed explaining.

[Antlerman]

Well you just missed Marks. He's off praying for all of us now, since the Holy Ghost failed to fill his mouth with words in the hour of his great need to respond to our basic questions. Frankly, it would have only been an exercise in futility for you anyway. He never really responded to anything, so there was no debate.

 

Not to worry, another soldier for Jesus will feel a need to prove his worth and accommodate your wishes. Then you too can be added to someone's special prayer-list when they've exhausted their five standard rote responses. Every now and again though, it is satisfying to just sharpen your claws across someone's chest. Here’s hoping for you.

[freeman]

Anyone watch the "God's Warriors" on CNN this week?

 

Still, the chrustian warriors worry me the most because my son's uncle, and a good friend of mine until recently, turn my son into a warrior! Damn him!

[Spoomonkey]

I would prefer that the next Xian that come along not begin his argument by trivializing our experience. I know it makes it easier to harmonize your flawed beliefs when you assume that we have not really been involved in church, studied the bible or ever met a "real Christian" - but it doesn't make your position true. It is a convenient place to debate from, since the alternative would force you to actually think. I understand that. But please - before you simply slam the door on any chance you have to relate to us, stop and think that you might actually be talking to people who "get it" - not just another segment of the "unchurched".

 

Spoomonkey

[Guest JesusHeavenlyChrist]

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

 

I can't follow myself, but someones gotta stone me to death so have at it. I've been taking that shit since age 5. Just becareful IRL, cuz I mighta popped a few kids in the nose and ended some matters.

[♦ nivek ♦]

I thought JHC left the last bus from ND last week....

 

kFL

 

 

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

 

I can't follow myself, but someones gotta stone me to death so have at it. I've been taking that shit since age 5. Just becareful IRL, cuz I mighta popped a few kids in the nose and ended some matters.

[dano]

I bet you have a copper suit of armour that you wear on hilltops during thunderstorms while screaming "ALL THE GODS ARE BASTARDS!"

 

If we cant make fun of the pope, with his new red, Prada shoes, his Dior dress, and his "The Who" hat, and all the other old men in silly outfits, pretending that they are doing gods work, then what can you make fun of?

 

What's with the waving the smoke pot in the air anyway?

 

I had a nice picture of the Pope in his red shoes but it wouldnt download!

[Aurelia]

What's with the waving the smoke pot in the air anyway?

One word: Vaporizer

[Robbobrob]

I can't follow myself, but someones gotta stone me to death so have at it. I've been taking that shit since age 5. Just becareful IRL, cuz I mighta popped a few kids in the nose and ended some matters.

 

BORRRINNNG.

 

No fun if you admit to being a hothead who swears.

 

IRL...beating up little kids is one thing, but have you taken on a full grown man wielding a sword?

[Sparrow]

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

 

Oh Dano. Don't lose faith in Buddy Ferris - he'll really play ball if you insult him a couple more times.

 

:-)

 

Spatz

[dano]

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

 

Oh Dano. Don't lose faith in Buddy Ferris - he'll really play ball if you insult him a couple more times.

 

:-)

 

Spatz

 

Hi siss, Sparrow,

I just zinged him good over on the "Buddy logs"

 

All 54 pages of astute obfuscation!

[Grandpa Harley]

And just what sort of shit

 

 

was he talking?

[dano]

I've always liked this, from Mark Twain's "Letters from earth"

 

"Moreover -- if I may put another strain upon you -- he thinks he is the Creator's pet. He believes the Creator is proud of him; he even believes the Creator loves him; has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes, and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to Him, and thinks He listens. Isn't it a quaint idea? Fills his prayers with crude and bald and florid flatteries of Him, and thinks He sits and purrs over these extravagancies and enjoys them. He prays for help, and favor, and protection, every day; and does it with hopefulness and confidence, too, although no prayer of his has ever been answered. The daily affront, the daily defeat, do not discourage him, he goes on praying just the same. There is something almost fine about this perseverance. I must put one more strain upon you: he thinks he is going to heaven! "

[Luke Wolf]

I bet you have a copper suit of armour that you wear on hilltops during thunderstorms while screaming "ALL THE GODS ARE BASTARDS!"

Not exactly, but I have stripped out a central air motor, which was filled with copper, during a lighting storm. Clearly God is so scared of me, to the point of being scared shit-less, as he dares not take my life even when I am most vulnerable, because he knows damn well that me and Satan will become best of friends, gather the forces of Hell in full, invade Heaven, and raze every last building to the ground, melt the golden streets into statues of Satan, the Goetia, and me, crucify Jesus every day for all eternity, and force God to bow before his new masters, and then we kick him in a puddle of mud and laugh at him as he will be powerless to do anything.

[dano]

I bet you have a copper suit of armour that you wear on hilltops during thunderstorms while screaming "ALL THE GODS ARE BASTARDS!"

Not exactly, but I have stripped out a central air motor, which was filled with copper, during a lighting storm. Clearly God is so scared of me, to the point of being scared shit-less, as he dares not take my life even when I am most vulnerable, because he knows damn well that me and Satan will become best of friends, gather the forces of Hell in full, invade Heaven, and raze every last building to the ground, melt the golden streets into statues of Satan, the Goetia, and me, crucify Jesus every day for all eternity, and force God to bow before his new masters, and then we kick him in a puddle of mud and laugh at him as he will be powerless to do anything.

 

I hear that God has already programmed the celestial computer to put a whole lot of hurtin on the devil.

 

But I think it came from a very unreliable source, the Bible.

[wishful]

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

 

You can help me with my soon-to-be ex-husband, we been having a little debate over the "Life events shared by Osiris, Dionysus and Jesus"

 

 

I sent him a few things that I feel that has made me take the step to freedom from Christian. I could share with you his repsonse, that I'm having a hard time dealing with, becuase deep down, I'm still in the stuggle of letting go of Jesus...Its like some have said..... its total mind control.

[Sparrow]

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

 

You can help me with my soon-to-be ex-husband, we been having a little debate over the "Life events shared by Osiris, Dionysus and Jesus"

 

 

I sent him a few things that I feel that has made me take the step to freedom from Christian. I could share with you his repsonse, that I'm having a hard time dealing with, becuase deep down, I'm still in the stuggle of letting go of Jesus...Its like some have said..... its total mind control.

 

Did you ever think of moving out?

 

Spatz

[dano]

We need at least one hard-core, bible quoting, Jesus loving Christian, so we can hone our skills, of persecuting Christians in the lions den.

 

Preferably one of those who is having a relationship with Jesus, and knows that nothing can shake his faith.

 

Smart, or intellectual preferred, but stupid robotic is OK, as long as you are crazy enough to entertain us.

 

So if you want to practice your Christian apologetic skills, climb aboard!

 

You can help me with my soon-to-be ex-husband, we been having a little debate over the "Life events shared by Osiris, Dionysus and Jesus"

 

 

I sent him a few things that I feel that has made me take the step to freedom from Christian. I could share with you his repsonse, that I'm having a hard time dealing with, becuase deep down, I'm still in the stuggle of letting go of Jesus...Its like some have said..... its total mind control.

 

Wishful,

I have found the smartest people that I have ever met, here on ex Christian.

Keep posting and you will get all the help you need.

[Antlerman]

You can help me with my soon-to-be ex-husband, we been having a little debate over the "Life events shared by Osiris, Dionysus and Jesus"

 

 

I sent him a few things that I feel that has made me take the step to freedom from Christian. I could share with you his repsonse, that I'm having a hard time dealing with, becuase deep down, I'm still in the stuggle of letting go of Jesus...Its like some have said..... its total mind control.

I just read this from a New Testament scholar about how the Gospel of John departs from the synoptic gospels and absorbs pagan practices to the point that it became indistiguishable from the cult of Dionysus. It makes a lot of sense to the sort of head-scratching that has happens when reading the gospels trying to reconcile the messages, and why the early Christians were often lumped together with the mystery cults.

http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jam...hn_context.html

[wishful]

Here is a e-mail response from my husband concering "Dionysus and Jesus" I had sent him some links and a list of Horus and Jesus similarity..

 

 

This is difficult to answer because the full answer lies all over the place.

 

A. Some of the similarities are plainly false. In this article, apologist James P. Holding responds to a book by Tom Harpur called "The Pagan Christ." The entire article is too long to post here, but read it for yourself: http://www.tektonics.org/harpur01.html

 

B. Some of the similarities do have merit, but don't make the point that some, like you seem to think they make. Since I'm a Christian who believes that there is one God who is sovereign over all creation, I am NOT AT ALL SURPRISED that elements of His divine plans and purposes are present in every single religion in world history.

 

Put another way, we hear about the stories of a worldwide flood that exist in many cultures throughout the world. It is argued that the existence of these stories all over the planet is evidence that a worldwide flood had indeed happened in the past. Is this not a solid argument? God is not bound by time, therefore, the same phenomenon can occur BEFORE OR AFTER the actual event. To clarify, stories of God's ultimate redemptive plan for Jesus Christ almost certainly "leaked" (in a manner of speaking) into religious systems before Christ's birth. All it would take was a truly God-fearing and God-seeking person catching a glimpse of God's plan and relating it as best as he could into his culture.

[Antlerman]

Here is a e-mail response from my husband concering "Dionysus and Jesus" I had sent him some links and a list of Horus and Jesus similarity..

 

This is difficult to answer because the full answer lies all over the place.

B. Some of the similarities do have merit, but don't make the point that some, like you seem to think they make. Since I'm a Christian who believes that there is one God who is sovereign over all creation, I am NOT AT ALL SURPRISED that elements of His divine plans and purposes are present in every single religion in world history.

 

I'm tired right now but will briefly respond. But his religious systems calls all religions that aren't his to be deceptions and lies of the devil. Now he's saying they have the truth of God? So does he honor them? I doubt that. More likely he criticizes them all the time. Yes, I would say that is much more the truth, than what he says above.

 

Put another way, we hear about the stories of a worldwide flood that exist in many cultures throughout the world. It is argued that the existence of these stories all over the planet is evidence that a worldwide flood had indeed happened in the past. Is this not a solid argument?

Absolutely not, it is not a solid argument. There is a far easier explaination that doesn't require saying the entire world of science in geology is wrong when they say there is not evidence of any such event ever having occured on this planet (save for those few who built a fervent followers of religious believers they sell rafting trips down the Grand Cayon to looking for comformation for having adopted a pre-scientific religious belief system from ancient Hebrews borrowing myths from the Sumerians). No, the easier answer is that the migration of myths spread across lands like the spead of language systems, evolving and shifting along the way. That explaination squares with the fact there is zero evidence for any global flood ever having occured.

 

God is not bound by time, therefore, the same phenomenon can occur BEFORE OR AFTER the actual event. To clarify, stories of God's ultimate redemptive plan for Jesus Christ almost certainly "leaked" (in a manner of speaking) into religious systems before Christ's birth. All it would take was a truly God-fearing and God-seeking person catching a glimpse of God's plan and relating it as best as he could into his culture.

This sounds strangely like, I think it was Ireneus, who brilliantly theorized that the devil forsaw Jesus' life, so he in advance of Jesus coming sent all sorts of other saviors who oddly enough did eveything Jesus did, before Jesus did it. Sort of a counterfeit in advance. That way when the real one came, no one would belive it.

 

Surprise!

 

More later.