Spoomonkey Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 I am a moderator on a message board for swingers. We get a lot of the same questions: • How do I talk my wife into it? (answer: you don’t) • How can I get into this as a single male? (answer: you can’t… Typically…) • Am I too fat to swing? (answer: probably not, but don’t ask me to help) And on and on. It can be maddening at times, but at least the situations are unique and the answers evolve. I come here and the Christians that pop on ask the same question over and over as well. The difference is, it really is just one question (or more correctly, one assertion) and they don’t really want answers… At least the curious folk who come to the swinger’s board usually are seeking an honest answer. And even if it isn’t what they want to hear, they learn something. And each situation is unique enough to provide some sort of mental stimulation. You really do have something to think about. With Christians it always comes down to this: “You just didn’t really experience god/jesus/truth/whatever.†Whatever the question is – no matter how sincerely it is asked – the critical assumption is one that trivializes our experience as former Christians (that is, if they understand that we are former Christians, and not simply “unchurchedâ€). It assumes that our experiences (which are often far more intense than the average Christian experience) were somehow lacking… I have read so many threads where the first post could be answered with so much cut and paste from around the board that it almost makes the eyes bleed. And knowing how smart some of you guys here are, it makes me wonder how you don’t go nuts? I learn a lot reading the replies here, but even now – after only a few months here – I am starting to lose my desire to follow a long thread. Gone are the days of reading through 25 pages eagerly sipping jests and insights... I guess I am just looking for discussion on how you guys handle the monotony? I understand why you do – this place is a great resource and sometimes it feels good to vent. But what helps you stay sane? Spoomonkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japedo Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 I guess I am just looking for discussion on how you guys handle the monotony? I understand why you do – this place is a great resource and sometimes it feels good to vent. But what helps you stay sane? Spoomonkey I can't type for anyone else, but... Who claims I'm sane? Being here helps me, many have healed and moved on.(some of them I miss greatly!) I just love the atmosphere here. If I grow tired of it, I'll stop coming so often. Until then I just enjoy it here and love the people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoomonkey Posted September 6, 2007 Author Share Posted September 6, 2007 Being here helps me, many have healed and moved on.(some of them I miss greatly!) I just love the atmosphere here. If I grow tired of it, I'll stop coming so often. Until then I just enjoy it here and love the people. Thanks for the response. It allows me to redirect and clarify what I am asking. I don't mean being here... I know there are plenty of places where Christians don't go - and there is quite a bit of dicussion about things other than just the very one-sided discussions with "virtual evangelists". So - being a part of this board and the community here makes perfect sense. But when the Christians do parade in (as they do often) they parade with the same tripe... I'll admit - I get sucked in and read a lot of it, but after a while it is like listening to a broken record... Even the responses are predictable (which makes sense because of the questions). So - I'm not questioning the community, just the deja vu that is debate with Christians... Spoomonkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 I guess I am just looking for discussion on how you guys handle the monotony? I understand why you do – this place is a great resource and sometimes it feels good to vent. But what helps you stay sane? I guess Fwee would now point out about me that anyone whose user photo looks like mine is light years from sanity anyway (Go have a look at my profile, but you've been warned ) ...and he may well be right... heck with it, he is right! Seriously now, don't ask me why, but I still feel a kind of perverse fascination with the sheer amount of braindeath the morontheists demonstrate. Kind of "Wow, it's the 21st century CE and this crap is still around"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoomonkey Posted September 6, 2007 Author Share Posted September 6, 2007 (Go have a look at my profile, but you've been warned ) Been there... Seen it... Fwee is right But, as one fascinated by Asatru, I rather enjoy your posts and perspective (and your signature line). Seriously now, don't ask me why, but I still feel a kind of perverse fascination with the sheer amount of braindeath the morontheists demonstrate. Kind of "Wow, it's the 21st century CE and this crap is still around"... Good point. But does this ever make you want to hide under your bed? I mean, the fact that a large part of society isn't getting smarter (in fact, it is dumbing down). When every arguement can be won with "I don't know, but I believe it" I just want to claw my own eyes out... Spoomonkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 It's like going fishing. Sometimes the fish don't bite. Sometimes the garbage you catch makes you feel like it wasn't worth the time. But once in a while, you hook a big one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Spoomonkey, I suggest if you feel like clawing out your own eyes, maybe it's time to skip over the fundy posts that drive you nuts. There are posts I don't read. There are entire sections on these forums that I never open. Different strokes for different folks. I'm drawn mostly to stuff that allows me to vent my rage and disperse of some anger, or that stimulates my brain. It's like a buffet. I'm not "hungry" for the same thing every day so I don't serve at the same counter every day. Today, by some odd turn of events, I am in the Lion's Den. Maybe it's the topics posted here. I am beginning to find Mr. J, our latest Christian, rather amusing. He's run the gamut of being disgusting, mysterious, arrogant, you name it. But now he's just making a fool of himself and somehow I feel justified to break one of my age-old vows not ever to mock someone. He's proven himself unworthy of the benefit of the doubt. Because he stuck around, it's been interesting. I just love finding out what a person's all about, learning to know a person, what makes them tick. The ones I really hate are the ones who post and run, never to be seen or heard of again. As for you--I am totally mystified. You came on here identifying as a Christian. Under "any gods" you say "yes." But lately you have been referring to yourself as a former Christian. Perhaps you did like a lot of us do and changed position since you're here. Or possibly I have you mixed up with someone else. In answer to your question, that is how I "stand"--even enjoy--it. I get to learn something new with each person. I enjoy the getting-to-know-you process, and the watching-you-grow-and-change process. Perhaps you don't get so much out of these processes. If so, I can see that you might get bored. As stated, discipline yourself and dine only on what agrees with your digestive system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoomonkey Posted September 7, 2007 Author Share Posted September 7, 2007 As for you--I am totally mystified. You came on here identifying as a Christian. Under "any gods" you say "yes." But lately you have been referring to yourself as a former Christian. Perhaps you did like a lot of us do and changed position since you're here. Or possibly I have you mixed up with someone else. RubySera You have asked that question before - and I have answered it. I don't expect you to remember the discussion, but at least try to refrain from assuming you know what I mean by "yes" under "any gods". Surely, you are open minded and intelligent enough to know that a simple reference to god does not make one a Christian. At no point during my time here have I identified myself as a Christian. In my anti-testimony as well as a prior discussion with you, I explained my "fuzzy-theology". It is possible to be a former Christian without being an atheist... Spoomonkey PS - I did not start this thread to complain about any part of the forum. I started it as - hopefully - a way to discuss what motivated some of the folks around here. One of the things that truly amazes me about this board is the level of intellect it has collected. But, smart people tend to be people easily bored. It is quite interesting to see what drives an intellectual person to play mental ping pong with the typical fundytards that post their "proofs of jesus". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I guess I am just looking for discussion on how you guys handle the monotony? I understand why you do – this place is a great resource and sometimes it feels good to vent. But what helps you stay sane?I guess Fwee would now point out about me that anyone whose user photo looks like mine is light years from sanity anyway (Go have a look at my profile, but you've been warned ) ...and he may well be right... heck with it, he is right! (Go have a look at my profile, but you've been warned ) Been there... Seen it... Fwee is right How anyone can view that photo and step away with a different conclusion is completely beyond my ability to comprehend. Actually, brother Thurisaz should consider himself lucky that I can easily recall the picture that he posted of himself a few years ago. Back when he was sane... There's still hope for him yet. I think. As far as answering your opening question, Spoo, I guess I would be one of the ones that falls somewhere in between Japedo's sentiment, whereas over the years I formed several online friendships here and most of them have moved on, and I guess I still have a hope in me that I can help someone else along with their journey through losing their faith. Sure, after a while you sort of feel like a backboard to a basketball hoop, but I guess I still want to help people. Also, I wouldn't exactly compare ExC to a swinger's board, either. We've had our share of naughty times here, but nothin' like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 It is possible to be a former Christian without being an atheist... Absolutely. We've got/had tons of them here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Ghost Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 The ones I really hate are the ones who post and run, never to be seen or heard of again. Why - whatever are you speaking of, my child? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Spoo, one point worth considering is that many Ex-C'ers have only ever been in the position of being the "voice in the wilderness" in the midst of a torrent of disapproving Christian voices. Those odds become reversed, thanks to Dave's creation of this site. There's something exquisitely regenerating about finally being part of the Great Avalanche of opinion. :woohoo: :woohoo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I just like hanging out with a group of intelligent people whom I have something in common with. I tend to skip or just lightly skim the theology threads as I'm just not that interested in the topic anymore. I do, however, like to hang around clear-thinking, witty people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Been there... Seen it... Fwee is right But, as one fascinated by Asatru, I rather enjoy your posts and perspective (and your signature line). *bows thankfully* Seriously now, don't ask me why, but I still feel a kind of perverse fascination with the sheer amount of braindeath the morontheists demonstrate. Kind of "Wow, it's the 21st century CE and this crap is still around"... Good point. But does this ever make you want to hide under your bed? I mean, the fact that a large part of society isn't getting smarter (in fact, it is dumbing down). When every arguement can be won with "I don't know, but I believe it" I just want to claw my own eyes out... Fortunately, over here in Germany you have to search for a while to find a really braindead morontheist (aside from the JW and mor(m)ons et al of course, but for all I can tell even they are quite lukewarm compared to the US brand...), so I don't (normally) feel like that regarding the jebus cult... but yeah, the sheer amount of willful ignorance / idiocy makes me cringe time and again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I just like hanging out with a group of intelligent people whom I have something in common with. I tend to skip or just lightly skim the theology threads as I'm just not that interested in the topic anymore. I do, however, like to hang around clear-thinking, witty people. It comes and goes. Sometimes weeks will go by with nothing interesting, maybe because there's a bit more theology focus, punctuated by a stretch or some really interesting commentary. I don't know if that's mainly an internal or external phenomena. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoomonkey Posted September 7, 2007 Author Share Posted September 7, 2007 Also, I wouldn't exactly compare ExC to a swinger's board, either. We've had our share of naughty times here, but nothin' like that. Actually, I was just comparing the repetitive questions - I should have made that point better. (I just noticed there is no smilie suitable for feeling kind of stupid) To be honest, one of the very common questions we get is how can one justify faith with swinging. It is actually quite easy to do - which was one of the exercises that helped me loosen my anchors. If the VAST majority of Christians can condemn something that is so easily harmonized with the Bible then we have a problem. Especially when you can just as easily harmonize the position against... You'd probably be very surprised how many swingers are Christian. And I don't mean "Easter-only" types either... I'm talking about pastor's, Sunday school teachers, etc. Nothing surprises me about that any more... So - if you ever went to church - there is a very good chance you've met a swinger Sex is EVERYONE'S dirty little secret But - as I said - I was just comparing the FAQ's. Thanks for your response - they are getting much more interesting and I think I understand the motivation much better! It makes perfect sense as you said to want to be there to help. I recently saw Wishful pop on and admit she was struggling... Who knew... As they taught us all in church - it is about planting seeds, eh? And I can also relate to what pitchu said - it is very nice to have a place where you can be a part of the majority opinion instead of feeling like the only person with your views for miles... Personally, I can't stay away form here because it is one place that helps me realize that my wife and I aren't the only ones sleeping in on Sunday morning... And watching the Christians get kicked around a bit is nice - considering that in my everyday life I have to keep my mouth shut... Spoomonkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I for one, sought out this place to balance the effects of being a mod over at a parenting board overrun with fundies. For a long time I was considered the cute little heathen. Most probably thought I was just doing it for attention, and not because I actually believed differently. It has been nice to find a place where people are not ending posts with "God Bless" or having stupid siggies pushing Bible Creationism. To bring my point into the more narrow constraints of the original question, I do find it mindnumbing sometimes to read what Christians write. Unfortunately on the other board, I can not speak my mind, without being VERY careful how I word things. It is a joy to come to the Lion's Den and see and be a part of a truly open forum where I can speak my mind. Sure, it can feel like batting practice sometimes (as opposed to playing in a real game) because the quality of Christian thought usually sucks, but for some of us, we need the t-ball practice, some slow pitches, especially as we hone our own skills in defending, for many of us, a new world view. Sometimes I just like to watch all the lions pounce at once, and watch the Christian run for their lives. I may someday feel bad for them, but I am not in that place in my heart yet. Plus, it is THEIR fault they come here, we don't recruit them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 As for you--I am totally mystified. You came on here identifying as a Christian. Under "any gods" you say "yes." But lately you have been referring to yourself as a former Christian. Perhaps you did like a lot of us do and changed position since you're here. Or possibly I have you mixed up with someone else. RubySera You have asked that question before - and I have answered it. I don't expect you to remember the discussion, but at least try to refrain from assuming you know what I mean by "yes" under "any gods". Surely, you are open minded and intelligent enough to know that a simple reference to god does not make one a Christian. At no point during my time here have I identified myself as a Christian. In my anti-testimony as well as a prior discussion with you, I explained my "fuzzy-theology". It is possible to be a former Christian without being an atheist... Spoomonkey PS - I did not start this thread to complain about any part of the forum. I started it as - hopefully - a way to discuss what motivated some of the folks around here. One of the things that truly amazes me about this board is the level of intellect it has collected. But, smart people tend to be people easily bored. It is quite interesting to see what drives an intellectual person to play mental ping pong with the typical fundytards that post their "proofs of jesus". Spoomonkey, I am sorry my answer was offensive to you. You asked a question and I did my best to answer it. If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it. I don't remember the former discussion and it seems I got you mixed up with someone else. Sorry about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 [/url]The ones I really hate are the ones who post and run, never to be seen or heard of again. Why - whatever are you speaking of, my child? That's in-house talk, Sir. You couldn't possibly be expected to understand. Spoo, one point worth considering is that many Ex-C'ers have only ever been in the position of being the "voice in the wilderness" in the midst of a torrent of disapproving Christian voices. Those odds become reversed, thanks to Dave's creation of this site. There's something exquisitely regenerating about finally being part of the Great Avalanche of opinion. Amen Sister Pitchu! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I just like hanging out with a group of intelligent people whom I have something in common with. I tend to skip or just lightly skim the theology threads as I'm just not that interested in the topic anymore. I do, however, like to hang around clear-thinking, witty people. This sums it up well for me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 That pretty much does it for me, also. Sure, I do have a great interest in religions and related subjects, and it's nice to come here and bat a few topics around on occasion, or just indulge in a community where others share similar views as mine. But as for the Xian fundies who do come around and belch out the same old lines, sometimes I will answer them individually or sometimes I will just cut and paste a pre-made response I've saved in my notepad, all depending on my mood at the time. The latter is handy for when I don't want to re-type the same thing for the five hundredth time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Spoonmonkey.. She and I have had about 20 years together, and have entertained quite a few other friends and lovers. Not being *religious*, "it ainta no big deal" having adult fun and relations with like minded others. At front door of haciendaFatman or our meeting places, it is UNDERSTOOD that discussing 'religion' and dampening the spirit of the fun planned is forbidden. Period. Lot of our friends are nominally religious, and some outright xtian.. (Funny to see some good looking gal being doggied and her cross swinging back and forth in contra time to the *action* buwhahahahahaha, err.. back to subject..) Thing is, as long as these same a-fucking-dults keep their damn mouths shut 'out of class' and in process out all of us, it is no big deal to me whose 'god' they call out to when soaking in a good fuckin' induced orgasm.. We've gotten a bit older and slowed down a bit, more selective in with whom we share our 'good times'. Found that living a life sans 'god' is a good thing when it comes to taking and being partners with others.. God sucks.. Most of we swallow.. kFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Ghost Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 That's in-house talk, Sir. You couldn't possibly be expected to understand. Refer to me not as sir, Wooby. For I am The We, The Us and The Great I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 That's in-house talk, Sir. You couldn't possibly be expected to understand. Refer to me not as sir, Wooby. For I am The We, The Us and The Great I am. Wrong again Holy Ghost. Our name is Legion, for it is WE who are many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Ghost Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 That's in-house talk, Sir. You couldn't possibly be expected to understand. Refer to me not as sir, Wooby. For I am The We, The Us and The Great I am. Wrong again Holy Ghost. Our name is Legion, for it is WE who are many. Ah, yes. Back to this age-old argument. It may be That you are, We But it is Me Who's not just One But Three Ya just can't top that one, ya know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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