PandaPirate Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 She says she still loves me but she thinks the "enemy" is at work in convincing me that Jesus did not exist. Does she know how paranoid that sounds? There's an invisible, evil little wingnut who wants to ruin my life? Guess she never heard of self sabotage cuz I am real good at that one. Anyway....her nieces and nephews keep losing the remote and she likens it to...get this....spiritual warfare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 Because Ms Pirate.. I AM stealing her remote! BuwHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHhaahAHHAHAHA! Oh, yeah, spiritual warfare and inexpensive imported plastic and electronics gear.. All intertwined somehow.. Gotta be da debbilz wurk! kFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 Nah, Satan only deals with stealing the socks from the washing machine. That occupies 99% of his time. He must have the largest collection of odd socks in the Universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 Nah, Satan only deals with stealing the socks from the washing machine. That occupies 99% of his time. He must have the largest collection of odd socks in the Universe. He must get around pretty good, because my wife thinks hes here 24/7 possessing my black cat Sarah (which she hates and calls satan spawn). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhia Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 Eh, my mom personally thinks that Satan himself resides in the body of a tiny, silver, Korat-mix kitten that I gave her when her other cat died. In fact, although my little sister named it Taz, she insists on calling it Hellcat, and Satan. And if that's the case, Satan particularly enjoys attacking bags of whole-wheat rolls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japedo Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 Anyway....her nieces and nephews keep losing the remote and she likens it to...get this....spiritual warfare. The devil did take it and hid it in the pits of the couch called hell.... He occasionally comes to my house also and moves things.... Honest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naughtyhamster Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 He must get around pretty good, because my wife thinks hes here 24/7 possessing my black cat Sarah (which she hates and calls satan spawn). Eh, my mom personally thinks that Satan himself resides in the body of a tiny, silver, Korat-mix kitten that I gave her when her other cat died. In fact, although my little sister named it Taz, she insists on calling it Hellcat, and Satan. Strange how some religious fanatics hate cats with a vegance, while others go crazy over them. Where I used to live my Pentecostal neighbors were crazy for cats, and when their cat had kittens they gave the little ones names from the bible. At least they didn't go too wild with Bible names as they said "No way!" to their daughter when she wanted to name the only boy kitty Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trashy Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 She says she still loves me but she thinks the "enemy" is at work in convincing me that Jesus did not exist. Does she know how paranoid that sounds? There's an invisible, evil little wingnut who wants to ruin my life? Guess she never heard of self sabotage cuz I am real good at that one. Anyway....her nieces and nephews keep losing the remote and she likens it to...get this....spiritual warfare. Tell your friend you have cursed that remote. Seriously. Don't smile when you say it either. This one could be worth MUCH entertainment value! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upstarter Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 OMG I am laughing my ass off! This is the best thread. I cannot begin to list the things that my mother attributes to Satan. But she also thanks Jesus for good parking spaces! Not kidding. It's become a joke for my hubby and me when we get a good parking spot, we look at each other and say, "Thank you Jesus". Okay, we're easily amused. But if Jesus cares about parking spaces then why can't Satan be concerned with remote controls. Makes total sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 The only things I've heard my female parental unit attirbute to the devil are the occasional criminal on TV (America's Most Wanted, Forensic files, even on the news). Its a downright pain, since I enjoy watching real forensics/crime shows and don't appreciate the input on satan's role in the background. Whenever I try and tell her I don't think that's the case she accuses me of siding with the criminals *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 OMG I am laughing my ass off! This is the best thread. I cannot begin to list the things that my mother attributes to Satan. But she also thanks Jesus for good parking spaces! Um... That's properly the territory of the Parking Gods (Asphaltia, Squat and Gravél). Oh, and the missing sock thing... Cat warriors from the Pleiades are taking 'em. Really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smellincoffee Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 OMG I am laughing my ass off! This is the best thread. I cannot begin to list the things that my mother attributes to Satan. But she also thanks Jesus for good parking spaces! Um... That's properly the territory of the Parking Gods (Asphaltia, Squat and Gravél). Oh, and the missing sock thing... Cat warriors from the Pleiades are taking 'em. Really. Okay, but what about those redlights? I just KNOW Satan changes them to red when he sees me coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknowing1 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Okay, but what about those redlights? I just KNOW Satan changes them to red when he sees me coming. That happens to me too. But in my case it ain't the Devil it's Gawd, I pissed him off by giving him the one finger salute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 He must get around pretty good, because my wife thinks hes here 24/7 possessing my black cat Sarah (which she hates and calls satan spawn). Eh, my mom personally thinks that Satan himself resides in the body of a tiny, silver, Korat-mix kitten that I gave her when her other cat died. In fact, although my little sister named it Taz, she insists on calling it Hellcat, and Satan. Strange how some religious fanatics hate cats with a vegance, while others go crazy over them. Where I used to live my Pentecostal neighbors were crazy for cats, and when their cat had kittens they gave the little ones names from the bible. At least they didn't go too wild with Bible names as they said "No way!" to their daughter when she wanted to name the only boy kitty Jesus. What people name their cats says a lot about the owners. My cats are named Jezebel and Beezelbub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Another thing is that the Devil is not in Hell, he's in the detailing business. They always say "the Devil is in the details", so he must be. I didn't know Satan had to make a living washing cars? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South2003 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I didn't know Satan had to make a living washing cars? The devil is on welfare and foodstamps. Seriously though, my fundie friends said that the reason why they are so many homeless is because they are of the devil. SAD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 BTW here is a pic of my cat Sarah. I named her after my favorite musicial, Sarah Mclachlan, though the wife calls her satan spawn lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 The devil is on welfare and foodstamps. Seriously though, my fundie friends said that the reason why they are so many homeless is because they are of the devil. SAD! That's a very crazy way of looking at people. That's what we mean with Christianity being such a pessimistic worldview. It see other people and the world as evil. It can't see anything good in the world except when it's something they've done themselves... very self-centered and self-righteous view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DucorpsToo Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 She says she still loves me but she thinks the "enemy" is at work in convincing me that Jesus did not exist. Does she know how paranoid that sounds? There's an invisible, evil little wingnut who wants to ruin my life? Guess she never heard of self sabotage cuz I am real good at that one. Anyway....her nieces and nephews keep losing the remote and she likens it to...get this....spiritual warfare. Does your friend work? If so, why not ask her whether her employee benefits cover mental health services. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Where I used to live my Pentecostal neighbors were crazy for cats, and when their cat had kittens they gave the little ones names from the bible. At least they didn't go too wild with Bible names as they said "No way!" to their daughter when she wanted to name the only boy kitty Jesus. Oh, but I think it would have been a hoot when the cat started scratching up the furniture: "JESUS NO!!! BAAAAAD Jesus!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhia Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Well, since we're now sharing cat pictures, here's a picture of Little Satan (also, aka-ed as Psycho Demon Hellcat by the mum). Ain't Satan such a little sweetie?! And here are my own ginger darlings. It's so ironic, that Satan seems to enjoy taking on the form of such cute, fuzzy, little kitties! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Well, since we're now sharing cat pictures, here's a picture of Little Satan (also, aka-ed as Psycho Demon Hellcat by the mum). Ain't Satan such a little sweetie?! And here are my own ginger darlings. It's so ironic, that Satan seems to enjoy taking on the form of such cute, fuzzy, little kitties! LOL I can see the devil in their aura. I need to take a more in focus one of my cat, it's not very clear. Looks like a black blob.. hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Well, since we're now sharing cat pictures, here's a picture of Little Satan (also, aka-ed as Psycho Demon Hellcat by the mum). Ain't Satan such a little sweetie?! And here are my own ginger darlings. It's so ironic, that Satan seems to enjoy taking on the form of such cute, fuzzy, little kitties! Awwwwwwwwwww I can do you one better... YOUTUBE, yep youtube of my little dumpster baby, who I'm pretty sure is a maine coon, what do you think.. Her name is Butters and she is a middle fur baby of 4, we also have Kitten, Tweaks and Loretta (Lolo). What you name your cat says something about you?? Wonder what that says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LloydDobler Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Anyway....her nieces and nephews keep losing the remote and she likens it to...get this....spiritual warfare. Sounds like you need smarter friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jun Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Praise Satan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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