Ahh! Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 OK, things have gone too far. My mother, who has been victim to seemingly random mood swings over the years, threatened to frame me of a crime because I didn't agree with her or with something. We were arguing over whether I should try to get another job or stick with my current one when suddenly she grabbed me by my fingers and started to pull them back violently (violently enough that I can barely type hours later). She started screaming, "listen you shit, I'm going to call the cops and tell them you tried to hit me. They'll send you to prison! That'll teach you to talk back." She then tried to run to the phone but my Dad stopped her and told her that was crazy talk. I'm really scared of her. I'm 18. I need help. How can I move out? How can I do it and not end up completely screwed and stay in school? What do I need to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Sorry for your situation, Ahh. Do you have friends you could stay with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest _mike Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 You probably don't have an established credit yet, so you won't be able to get a reasonable loan. But it sounds like you are eligible for federal student aid, which you can apply for through a FAFSA form online, if you haven't already. You could also get a low interest student loan from your college (if you haven't already). You can probably still get a bank loan too though, possibly in addition to the other aforementioned loans and/or federal aid, if you have someone with an established credit history co-sign for you (any relatives or really good friends?). That should cover your school expenses and maybe your board expenses. Any additional expenses you should be able to cover with your job. And I would suggest you find someone you can room with to cut down on expenses. You could definitely do it and it sounds like you should. It will take time to get yourself in order before you move out so don't count on leaving just yet (maybe as long as 6 months). But to live reasonably alone as a student, you'll have to be frugal, but it will be fun! A few of my former Christian buddies used to live alone in college and they managed just fine and they had a much better time than I did (I lived and still live at home!). Get out there and talk to people and counselors at school about this; they can help you through it. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 I remember you mentioned you had a job. Most campuses can hook you up with roommates. Not ideal if you want to live alone but great if you need to bail quick since it sure cuts costs. A month-to-month lease is tough to get but not impossible so you can keep looking at your other options (this is your temporary move unless you find you like it then you can do whatever then). mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 You probably don't have an established credit yet, so you won't be able to get a reasonable loan. But it sounds like you are eligible for federal student aid, which you can apply for through a FAFSA form online, if you haven't already. You could also get a low interest student loan from your college (if you haven't already). You can probably still get a bank loan too though, possibly in addition to the other aforementioned loans and/or federal aid, if you have someone with an established credit history co-sign for you (any relatives or really good friends?). That should cover your school expenses and maybe your board expenses. Any additional expenses you should be able to cover with your job. And I would suggest you find someone you can room with to cut down on expenses. You could definitely do it and it sounds like you should. It will take time to get yourself in order before you move out so don't count on leaving just yet (maybe as long as 6 months). But to live reasonably alone as a student, you'll have to be frugal, but it will be fun! A few of my former Christian buddies used to live alone in college and they managed just fine and they had a much better time than I did (I lived and still live at home!). Get out there and talk to people and counselors at school about this; they can help you through it. Good luck! Overall not bad advice, but I think the op is suggesting a more immediate fix. My best advice is look for "room mate needed". Hate to say this, but move the hell out of your house and get a restraining order on your mom before she gets one on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Hate to say this, but move the hell out of your house and get a restraining order on your mom before she gets one on you. Yep. If not that for some reason (like you can't move ASAP) then go to your school or other counselor and get down on paper that this is the kind of thing that is going on in your home. You want a paper trail with a third party so if she does follow with her "threat" to turn things all around onto you to make you out to be the "bad guy" you have already established a history in your favor with all the details. I'd say file a police report but since no real crime occurred they may not want to hear it but you can drop by their offices and they might have some better suggestions for your local area. But try your best not to just leave it your word against your parents. That rarely works out well and you don't need that at this point in your life. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 OK, things have gone too far. My mother, who has been victim to seemingly random mood swings over the years, threatened to frame me of a crime because I didn't agree with her or with something. We were arguing over whether I should try to get another job or stick with my current one when suddenly she grabbed me by my fingers and started to pull them back violently (violently enough that I can barely type hours later). She started screaming, "listen you shit, I'm going to call the cops and tell them you tried to hit me. They'll send you to prison! That'll teach you to talk back." She then tried to run to the phone but my Dad stopped her and told her that was crazy talk. I'm really scared of her. I'm 18. I need help. How can I move out? How can I do it and not end up completely screwed and stay in school? What do I need to do? I know your heart is set on school, but you might have to wait. In fact, I never graduated college and make more money than most lawyers. I'm a successful magazine writer. Your mom is sick. She needs help. But you need to get OUT. Do you have any friends who have their own place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 OK, things have gone too far. My mother, who has been victim to seemingly random mood swings over the years, threatened to frame me of a crime because I didn't agree with her or with something. We were arguing over whether I should try to get another job or stick with my current one when suddenly she grabbed me by my fingers and started to pull them back violently (violently enough that I can barely type hours later). She started screaming, "listen you shit, I'm going to call the cops and tell them you tried to hit me. They'll send you to prison! That'll teach you to talk back." She then tried to run to the phone but my Dad stopped her and told her that was crazy talk. I'm really scared of her. I'm 18. I need help. How can I move out? How can I do it and not end up completely screwed and stay in school? What do I need to do? I know your heart is set on school, but you might have to wait. In fact, I never graduated college and make more money than most lawyers. I'm a successful magazine writer. Your mom is sick. She needs help. But you need to get OUT. Do you have any friends who have their own place? Making money is not always the end all be all. Getting out does seem to be top priority but there are probably ways to do that and stay in school, as suggested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 OK, things have gone too far. My mother, who has been victim to seemingly random mood swings over the years, threatened to frame me of a crime because I didn't agree with her or with something. We were arguing over whether I should try to get another job or stick with my current one when suddenly she grabbed me by my fingers and started to pull them back violently (violently enough that I can barely type hours later). She started screaming, "listen you shit, I'm going to call the cops and tell them you tried to hit me. They'll send you to prison! That'll teach you to talk back." She then tried to run to the phone but my Dad stopped her and told her that was crazy talk. I'm really scared of her. I'm 18. I need help. How can I move out? How can I do it and not end up completely screwed and stay in school? What do I need to do? I agree with your assessment that you need to get out. My condolences on having a psycho mother who would do something like that. You have three options, as I see it: 1) The roommate route that has already been suggested. 2) A really cheap, crummy, lousy, small efficiency apartment. 3) Housing on campus. A new situation in which you are not living at home, and I assume, cannot expect assistance from your parents, will change your financial profile with the school as well. Get thee to the financial aid office to discuss your alternatives in your current situation. Unfortunately, the buearocracy will respond slowly to your needs. The first semester or so could be the one that's REALLY tough. You may need to work your butt off, especially at first. If you need to remain a full time student for financial aid, but have to work a lot of hours to support yourself, you can take the minimum 12 hours or so while you work. (You can keep on schedule if you like by taking summer classes.) If I remember correctly, you're a bright guy who's stuck in an unchallenging community college at the moment, right? (Actually, that probably eliminates option 3 for campus housing.) The easy course load should help while you get on your feet. If your situation goes down the tubes such that you have to leave school for a semester, I would try to get back as soon as possible, both because that's what you want, and because you're not likely to rake in tons of money while you're out, anyway. ...and did I mention to do double diligence checking out your financial aid options? That's OK, it bears repeating. It will be a rough road, but it IS possible. Best of luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 I sympathise with you. My breaking point is when my mother poisoned my dog (he survived) and I had to leave and get myself and my dog somewhere safe before somebody ended up in jail. I told my friends about it and they worked together to find me room and helped me get out of there one week later. Start talking to yours and network out to see if they need a roomate or know someone who does. You need to get OUT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 I sympathise with you. My breaking point is when my mother poisoned my dog (he survived) and I had to leave and get myself and my dog somewhere safe before somebody ended up in jail. WTF? We'd have both been in jail as my foot would have been firmly lodged up her crazy ass. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 I agree with your assessment that you need to get out. My condolences on having a psycho mother who would do something like that. You have three options, as I see it: 1) The roommate route that has already been suggested. 2) A really cheap, crummy, lousy, small efficiency apartment. 3) Housing on campus. A new situation in which you are not living at home, and I assume, cannot expect assistance from your parents, will change your financial profile with the school as well. Get thee to the financial aid office to discuss your alternatives in your current situation. Definitely agree with this advice. Talk to the financial aid people. Also, talk to your friends and/or any relatives you're on good terms with. Maybe they can help you out. You are 18, which is legal. So you have a lot more options now than you would if you were a year younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 I sympathise with you. My breaking point is when my mother poisoned my dog (he survived) and I had to leave and get myself and my dog somewhere safe before somebody ended up in jail. WTF? We'd have both been in jail as my foot would have been firmly lodged up her crazy ass. mwc It very nearly was. I had my fist cocked at her face and I told her how much I wanted to hit her, but the hazy thought through the rage that I didn't want to go to jail and had to stay free to protect my dog came through and I didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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