Mike D Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Would any Christian be up to the challenge of praying to Jesus and/or his sidekick the Holy Ghost for guidance on stock picks? Surely Jesus would want his flock to propser, so all you need to do is take a list of stocks which i'll supply, and ask Jesus which stocks to go long on, and which ones to short (meaning Jesus and/or Holy Ghost says they will go down). Then we'll track peformance by January 31st to see how they did. Always remember, the Good Book says that with enough faith you can move mountains so surely making a few stock picks will be an easy task compared to that! Any takers?
Brother Jeff Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 O, but you shall not tempt the Lard your Gawd!
Vigile Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Silly wabbit. Jesus doesn't go short. That's for the devil and evil atheists like us.
Vigile Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 O, but you shall not tempt the Lard your Gawd! Yeah my son, you are the Lard but you are also flawed man. Forget thee not that I allowed my servant Gideon to test me with a fleece.
Fweethawt Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 When I first saw the title to this thread, I thought it read, "Can Jesus Pick Locks?".
mwc Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 How the hell else did he just "appear" in the room with the 11? mwc
Mythra Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 In 1999, Jesus told me to put everything I had into Enron stocks. Looked good. So - indeed Jesus does pick stocks. He also believes that our character is perfected through trials. I'd go with Madame Magnifica and her tarot cards, if I were you.
Mike D Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 Silly wabbit. Jesus doesn't go short. That's for the devil and evil atheists like us. That's true, although Jesus might approve shorting baidu.com (BIDU), since that's the Chinese/communist/evil atheist version of Google which goes up just about every day and has gone parabolic.
Mythra Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Hey Mike - if you do find someone who is on speaking terms with Jesus, you may want to think twice anyway before investing. Jesus doesn't have all that good a track record. "There are some standing here who will not taste death before they see the kingdom of god arrive with power" WRONG. "Not one stone will be left standing on top of another." WRONG. The western wall of the temple is still intact.
Mike D Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 If I find someone on speaking terms with Jesus i'll first try and find out which mental hospital they just escaped from
par4dcourse Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Silly folks. kyrastt is not into stocks, he's into real estate. When a local "missionary" group moved out of my neighborhood, they listed the house (not in good shape) for about twice what it was worth. When questioned about the price, the leader replied that gawd had told her what to ask. Glory! btw, six months, nary an offer.
Mongo Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 In 1999, Jesus told me to put everything I had into Enron stocks. Looked good. Oh... say it isn't so. Silly folks. kyrastt is not into stocks, he's into real estate.When a local "missionary" group moved out of my neighborhood, they listed the house (not in good shape) for about twice what it was worth. When questioned about the price, the leader replied that gawd had told her what to ask. Classic examples of people seeing what they want to see. The asshat missionary probably does this shit all the time but when out and about spouting and flouting the "lard" they'll never never never talk about all the times prayer was not answered but will crow and crow about the solitary time they managed to guilt a brother into paying too much for their house (used car etc.). And of course when they tell the story, they won't say it was a brother who payed too much but mislead the audiance into thinking that some stranger, fresh off the street, opened their wallet as if god were guiding their hand. This habit of pretending events were miraculous... nay, I say a bloody addiction to exaggerating the impossibility of events, was one of the prime reasons why I took a very hard look at my faith and began to question god. The lies and tales told at "Testamony Time" would made god himself blush if he really existed. Mongo
EdwardAbbey Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Would any Christian be up to the challenge of praying to Jesus and/or his sidekick the Holy Ghost for guidance on stock picks? Any takers? Now that is what I call a real plan ! Let the all-knowing/divine Jebbis pick some hot stocks ! and let's get freakin rich !
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