Kelli Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Many Christians use verses like Leviticus 18:22 to condemn homosexuals and the transgendered. I think it's more than reasonable to suggest that if Christians are going to use these passages in the Old Testament to condemn people, they better be ready and willing to swallow the entire sacred cow. Let's see what else the Old Testament has to say, you know, those verses Christians never want to talk about and largely gloss over... Leviticus 19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woolen come upon thee. Better start going through your wardrobes now! Leviticus 19:26 Ye shall not eat any thing with the blood: neither shall ye use enchantment, nor observe times. It seems Christians shouldn't eat steak or have clocks, watches or calendars. 27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. Not even sure what that means exactly, but I'm quite certain many Christians break this rule. Got razor? Leviticus 20:9 For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him. Most kids wouldn't make it past age 15. I know I wouldn't have Leviticus 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Lots of "outstanding" pastors and prominent church members should be dead too... Leviticus 20:18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people. Wow. Exiled because your wife was on the rag. Sucks to be you! Leviticus 20:25 Ye shall therefore put difference between clean beasts and unclean, and between unclean fowls and clean: and ye shall not make your souls abominable by beast, or by fowl, or by any manner of living thing that creepeth on the ground, which I have separated from you as unclean. Christian, you like pork? Your soul is abominable. Hey, don't get mad at me, your God said it! This is an ongoing thread. Feel free to add your own Godisms... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Many Christians use verses like Leviticus 18:22 to condemn homosexuals and the transgendered. I think it's more than reasonable to suggest that if Christians are going to use these passages in the Old Testament to condemn people, they better be ready and willing to swallow the entire sacred cow. Let's see what else the Old Testament has to say, you know, those verses Christians never want to talk about and largely gloss over...Leviticus 19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woolen come upon thee. I uhm... duhn gots no statues, I best be a-gittin me some... I duhn gots no cattle either, I best be a gittin dem too. I juss bes all safe an stuff, an just go round neked.. Better start going through your wardrobes now! Leviticus 19:26 Ye shall not eat any thing with the blood: neither shall ye use enchantment, nor observe times. I guess vampires are gonna not be all saved an stuff then... They do magic and have watches, I know I seen it on the TV. It seems Christians shouldn't eat steak or have clocks, watches or calendars. 27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. That's funny stuff there! Explains why jews have beards I guess... LOL I'ts truly sad how many people take this shit seriously. Not even sure what that means exactly, but I'm quite certain many Christians break this rule. Got razor? Leviticus 20:9 For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him. I think enforcement of this rule would dramatically lower the population of the worlds religious people. Their rule, so it only applies to them right? Ahh but we cannot hope for them to follow rules written in the bible can we? How unchristian lol! Most kids wouldn't make it past age 15. I know I wouldn't have Leviticus 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Another rule that they should enforce, even lower still their population... hmmm they only obey rules that don't thin out the heard, do they? seeing a trend here... Lots of "outstanding" pastors and prominent church members should be dead too... Leviticus 20:18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people. Her *fountain* lol damn must been real "gushers" back then eh? Moral of rule.. uhm... none? Don't screw your wife when she's on the rag! Why? just friggin, don't do it!"" Wow. Exiled because your wife was on the rag. Sucks to be you! Leviticus 20:25 Ye shall therefore put difference between clean beasts and unclean, and between unclean fowls and clean: and ye shall not make your souls abominable by beast, or by fowl, or by any manner of living thing that creepeth on the ground, which I have separated from you as unclean. Hey really aint all gawd saying is what is unclean, IE: dirty? Hey just wash, or "clean" everything on his list and problem solved! Just thank gawd for the list, otherwise how would you know what foods to wash? Christian, you like pork? Your soul is abominable. Hey, don't get mad at me, your God said it! This is an ongoing thread. Feel free to add your own Godisms... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 This reminds me of that email someone sent to the Dr. Laura radio show once: http://www.anvari.org/fun/Jokes_by_Email/Dear_Dr_Laura.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiergirl24 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 The Westboro Baptist Church bases its hatred of Homosexuals upon passages from Leviticus. Their website, as you know, is www.godhatesfags.com. Someone made a parody site : www.godhatesshrimp.com. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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