Deva Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Damn, but this kind of stuff is getting hard to take. I haven't seen this fundie relative in at least 30 years ( my mother's cousin, I think). Her husband died two years ago. Sorry about that -- but then she has to send this e-mail to me today: __________________________ The wonder of Christmas Is That the God who dwelt among us Now Can dwell within us! It has been awhile since you have had a greeting from me at this most wonderful of holidays, but I could not bring myself to send cards and only sign my name! For 51and ½ years I signed every correspondence with <names omitted>. He has been in the arms of Jesus for two years and 11 months now, and I miss him terribly, but I know he is in a better place! Only with the indwelling Spirit of God, and His divine comfort and strength, and love, have I come through this most life-changing time in my life! He has lifted me up when I was at my lowest points! He has comforted me when I was overwhelmingly grief-stricken! He has given me strength when I had none left! He has been there when there was no one else! He has been my rock and my salvation! I praise God with all that is within me for loving me enough to send His only begotten Son, God incarnate, down from his lofty throne on high, to come to this sin-cursed earth, to live a sinless, unblemished life for my example, and then to die the most humiliating death imaginable, because it would give me a chance to be able to have a right relationship with Him, through the blood that was spilled on that cross by Jesus Christ, God incarnate….if I would only believe that Jesus had done this….with my whole heart! Not only that….then Jesus rose from the dead so that He could sit on the right hand of God Almighty….so that He could continually intercede for me in my behalf! Because, as long as I am in this sin-cursed body, I will need an advocate! Someone to plead my case before the very throne of God! And someday, I will be in the arms of Jesus, my Saviour, my Lord,and I will be in that better place together again with my beloved <name omitted>! MY PRAYER IS: THAT THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS (JESUS CHRIST) REMAIN WITH YOU NOW AND THROUGHOUT THE COMING YEARS! BUT…… NOT JUST ON THE OUTSIDE AS A FRIEND OR TEACHER…. BUT…… ON THE INSIDE AS A SAVIOUR AND A BROTHER! My heartfelt love to you all! ________________________ I grew up with this kind of stuff. The spirit and message of this is representative of my family as a whole. They don't know I am an unbeliever. It's a wonder I'm still sane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Damn! Where's Brother Jeff? The Spook of Xmas! Ya gotta do it man! Deva, my heartfelt condolences for this lovely bit of xian excrement you've received... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I'd be tempted to sign up the relative for some nice spam. Or reply with the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ramen!) Unfortunately, if you're still in Stealth Mode as an ex-believer, that might not be wise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emme Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 wow. what happened to "merry X-mas and a happy new year"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted December 18, 2007 Author Share Posted December 18, 2007 Damn! Where's Brother Jeff? The Spook of Xmas! Ya gotta do it man! Deva, my heartfelt condolences for this lovely bit of xian excrement you've received... Thank you all. And yes, where is Brother Jeff? So much good material for him to use! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no-one Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Wow, I actually find that really rude, not to mention difficult to read. What's with all the exclamation points? It's like being yelled at. And as for- "He has lifted me up when I was at my lowest points! He has comforted me when I was overwhelmingly grief-stricken! He has given me strength when I had none left! He has been there when there was no one else! He has been my rock and my salvation!" I could say that exact same thing about my husband. Or Stella Artois lol. Sorry that you got this, I can see why it's upsetting. I would just ignore it or send a simple "happy christmas" message back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted December 18, 2007 Author Share Posted December 18, 2007 Sorry that you got this, I can see why it's upsetting. I would just ignore it or send a simple "happy christmas" message back. I have decided to put them all on "ignore" this year. Its just not worth getting too upset about. Nothing is going to change them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Well, holy shit. Do you necessarily need to respond? Sometimes I hand-write a letter that will NOT be sent for things like this. It at least helps me to get out exactly what I think, and it sure feels good, but the person in question doesn't really need to see it. Not if I want to avoid burning bridges and keep peace in the family. I usually burn the letter afterwards, which is also cathartic. I have every once in a long while received somewhat similar letters from family. I often interpret it as them trying to fill a void in their lives through displaying extra religiosity. In at least one case, it coincided with that person getting more heavily involved in a church group, so the letter could have been something they were prompted to do... by the ideology of the group at least, if not directly pressured by members. It made me feel sorry for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Wow. A classic "what has jesus done for me." Been a while since I received one of those. What I would do if I got a letter like that is re-word it and send it back. It would end up something like: Regardless of the noticeable absence of God, I came through this most life-changing time in my life! I have lifted myself up when I was at my lowest points! I have comforted myself when I was overwhelmingly grief-stricken! I have found the inner strength I need when I thought I had none left! I have been here for myself when there was no one else! I have been my rock and my salvation! ~Aurelia~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medjool Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 That makes my skin crawl. Thanks for sharing it, though! It's a good reminder of how irrelevant it all is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Does the relative in question know or suspect you are an Exer? A lot of times people, especially older people, will send overly religious messages to people they think are backsliding, as if such things will actually cause someone to convert again. All of my relatives send me overly religious Christmas cards and letters, but they have done so for years. I just toss them and keep the photos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Well, holy shit. Do you necessarily need to respond? Sometimes I hand-write a letter that will NOT be sent for things like this. It at least helps me to get out exactly what I think, and it sure feels good, but the person in question doesn't really need to see it. Not if I want to avoid burning bridges and keep peace in the family. I usually burn the letter afterwards, which is also cathartic. I have every once in a long while received somewhat similar letters from family. I often interpret it as them trying to fill a void in their lives through displaying extra religiosity. In at least one case, it coincided with that person getting more heavily involved in a church group, so the letter could have been something they were prompted to do... by the ideology of the group at least, if not directly pressured by members. It made me feel sorry for them. Yeah, that's what I sometimes do in my journal entries. I think writing is very cathartic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upstarter Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Okay I feel better. *shudder* I used to get all kinds of sloppy xtian shit like this from my aunt. I recently changed email addresses and forgot to forward my new address to her. What a relief. Heather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiergirl24 Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Send her a card pledging your allegiance to SATAN and thanking him for all the gifts he has given you...she'll get the point. Damn, but this kind of stuff is getting hard to take. I haven't seen this fundie relative in at least 30 years ( my mother's cousin, I think). Her husband died two years ago. Sorry about that -- but then she has to send this e-mail to me today: __________________________ The wonder of Christmas Is That the God who dwelt among us Now Can dwell within us! It has been awhile since you have had a greeting from me at this most wonderful of holidays, but I could not bring myself to send cards and only sign my name! For 51and ½ years I signed every correspondence with <names omitted>. He has been in the arms of Jesus for two years and 11 months now, and I miss him terribly, but I know he is in a better place! Only with the indwelling Spirit of God, and His divine comfort and strength, and love, have I come through this most life-changing time in my life! He has lifted me up when I was at my lowest points! He has comforted me when I was overwhelmingly grief-stricken! He has given me strength when I had none left! He has been there when there was no one else! He has been my rock and my salvation! I praise God with all that is within me for loving me enough to send His only begotten Son, God incarnate, down from his lofty throne on high, to come to this sin-cursed earth, to live a sinless, unblemished life for my example, and then to die the most humiliating death imaginable, because it would give me a chance to be able to have a right relationship with Him, through the blood that was spilled on that cross by Jesus Christ, God incarnate….if I would only believe that Jesus had done this….with my whole heart! Not only that….then Jesus rose from the dead so that He could sit on the right hand of God Almighty….so that He could continually intercede for me in my behalf! Because, as long as I am in this sin-cursed body, I will need an advocate! Someone to plead my case before the very throne of God! And someday, I will be in the arms of Jesus, my Saviour, my Lord,and I will be in that better place together again with my beloved <name omitted>! MY PRAYER IS: THAT THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS (JESUS CHRIST) REMAIN WITH YOU NOW AND THROUGHOUT THE COMING YEARS! BUT…… NOT JUST ON THE OUTSIDE AS A FRIEND OR TEACHER…. BUT…… ON THE INSIDE AS A SAVIOUR AND A BROTHER! My heartfelt love to you all! ________________________ I grew up with this kind of stuff. The spirit and message of this is representative of my family as a whole. They don't know I am an unbeliever. It's a wonder I'm still sane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Damn, but this kind of stuff is getting hard to take. I haven't seen this fundie relative in at least 30 years ( my mother's cousin, I think). Her husband died two years ago. Sorry about that -- but then she has to send this e-mail to me today: __________________________ The wonder of Christmas Is That the God who dwelt among us Now Can dwell within us! It has been awhile since you have had a greeting from me at this most wonderful of holidays, but I could not bring myself to send cards and only sign my name! For 51and ½ years I signed every correspondence with <names omitted>. He has been in the arms of Jesus for two years and 11 months now, and I miss him terribly, but I know he is in a better place! Only with the indwelling Spirit of God, and His divine comfort and strength, and love, have I come through this most life-changing time in my life! He has lifted me up when I was at my lowest points! He has comforted me when I was overwhelmingly grief-stricken! He has given me strength when I had none left! He has been there when there was no one else! He has been my rock and my salvation! I praise God with all that is within me for loving me enough to send His only begotten Son, God incarnate, down from his lofty throne on high, to come to this sin-cursed earth, to live a sinless, unblemished life for my example, and then to die the most humiliating death imaginable, because it would give me a chance to be able to have a right relationship with Him, through the blood that was spilled on that cross by Jesus Christ, God incarnate….if I would only believe that Jesus had done this….with my whole heart! Not only that….then Jesus rose from the dead so that He could sit on the right hand of God Almighty….so that He could continually intercede for me in my behalf! Because, as long as I am in this sin-cursed body, I will need an advocate! Someone to plead my case before the very throne of God! And someday, I will be in the arms of Jesus, my Saviour, my Lord,and I will be in that better place together again with my beloved <name omitted>! MY PRAYER IS: THAT THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS (JESUS CHRIST) REMAIN WITH YOU NOW AND THROUGHOUT THE COMING YEARS! BUT…… NOT JUST ON THE OUTSIDE AS A FRIEND OR TEACHER…. BUT…… ON THE INSIDE AS A SAVIOUR AND A BROTHER! My heartfelt love to you all! ________________________ I grew up with this kind of stuff. The spirit and message of this is representative of my family as a whole. They don't know I am an unbeliever. It's a wonder I'm still sane. The wonder of Kryasstmas Is That the Gawd who dwelt among us Now Can dwell within us! Glory! It has been awhile since you have had a greeting from me at this most glorious of holidays, but I could not bring myself to send cards and only sign my name! For 51and ½ years I signed every correspondence with <names omitted>. He has been in the Sky Arms of Kryasst for two years and 11 months now, and I miss him terribly, but I know he is in a better place up there in the sky! Only with the indwelling Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him, and His divine sexual comfort and strength, and love, have I come through this most life-changing time in my life! He has lifted me up when I was at my lowest points! He came for me when I needed Him to most! He has comforted me when I was overwhelmingly grief-stricken! He has given me strength when I had none left! Cum on, you can do it through the Power of My Spook! Glory! He has been there when there was no one else! He has been my Sky Cock and my slavation! I praze the Lard with all that is within me for loving me enough to send His only begotten Son, the Magic Sky Man, down from his lofty commode on high, to come to this sin-cursed flat earth, to live a sinless, unblemished life not doing any shit that pissed the Holy Farter off, for my example, and then to die the most humiliating death imaginable, because it would give me a chance to be able to have a right relationship with Him, through the blood that was spilled on that big giant stick by Jesus Kryasst, Gawd the Magic Sky Man….if I would only believe the Glorious Bullshit about Kryasst….with all of my farts! Not only that….then Jesus Magically Undeadened Himself so that He could sit on the right hand of Gawd Alrighty….so that He could continually intercede for me in my behalf! (Holy Farter, don't kill her! I Croaked in the Spook for that shit!) Because, as long as I am in this sin-cursed body, I will need an advocate! Someone to plead my case before the very commode of Gawd! And someday, I will be in the Sky Arms of Jesus, my Slaver, my Lard,and I will be in that better place together again with my beloved <name omitted> up there in the sky! MY PRAYER IS: THAT THE SPOOK OF KRYASSTMAS (JESUS KRYASST) MAGICALLY REMAIN WITH YOU NOW AND THROUGHOUT THE CUMMING YEARS! BUT…… NOT JUST ON THE OUTSIDE AS A FRIEND OR TEACHER…. BUT…… ON THE INSIDE - HARDER, LARD, HARDER! I WANT MORE OF YOU! - AS A SLAVER AND A LOVER! My fartfelt love to you all! We may need to move this to the sex forum now...LOL...Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted December 22, 2007 Author Share Posted December 22, 2007 LOL Holy Farter Great job. It really does have sexual connotations. Makes it even more sickening but in a humorous way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Today in the mail I received this Christmas card from an extremely religious relative. The group that made it is a hardcore dominionist / reconstructionist group called Wallbuilders. It's so full of quotes suggesting America is a Christian nation that it looks ludicrous, and it sports little pictures of both the American and Christian flags in three places. Yippee. It will definitely go into my collection of over-the-top religious items. BTW, I did send a card to the relative who sent this to me. Just a general "Happy Holidays" card with a deer in the forest under the moon with gold trim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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