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Emme

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My boyfriend sent me this when I was feeling low about my brother, the preacher,

who recently signed a big petition against the rights of homosexuals.

 

 

 

This is an open letter to all the fundy preachers who referred to the bible as unchangeable.

I don't know who wrote it, but I found it written in swedish, so I've translated it as good as I'm able to.

 

I found it really clever!

 

 

 

 

An open Letter to Yngve Kalin and the preachers who signed the petition against the blessing of homosexual couples:

 

 

Hi. I’m listening to your wise words, but I still have some questions and I think you could help me.

 

# I’m thinking about selling my daughter as a slave (Exodus 21:7). What would you consider a reasonable price?

 

# Leviticus 24:44 clearly states that I’m allowed to own both male and female slaves from a neighbouring country. A friend of mine claims that this only applies to slaves outside of the European Union – who is right?

 

# Another friend of mine works at Wall-Mart and insists on working on Sundays. I understand that he has to be killed (Exodus 35:2), but am I morally obligated to do this myself?

 

# When I burn a bullock as a sacrifice I know that it emits a smell that pleases the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is that the neighbours are complaining, so could I just barbecue a big steak instead?

 

# One of my friends also claims that it is an abomination to eat shellfish (Leviticus 11:10), so is homosexuality worse? (Leviticus 18:22)

Which one of us is right? Or are they equally sinful?

 

# I’m short-sighted, so of course I don’t go to church because I can’t approach the altar of God with bad sight (Leviticus 21:20). But now I am invited to a wedding, so I was just wondering if it’s ok to stand in the back?

 

# Many of my friends go to the hairdresser to cut their hair and trim their beards. This is a sin according to Leviticus 19:27. How should they be punished?

 

# My child recently started soccer practice, but Leviticus 11:7-8 warns me not to touch the remains of a pig, so should I demand that they only use a plastic ball?

 

# My kids also contradicted me last week, and I’m wondering if I really have to stone them to death at the gates of my town. Couldn’t I just do it in the backyard? (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

 

# My uncle has a farm in Bjarred (swedish small town) and he persists in growing both potatoes and wheat, thereby sinning against Leviticus 19:19.

His wife is not much better since she wears clothes made from more than one material (usually a mixture of cotton and polyester). My uncle also has a bad habit of swearing.

Is it really necessary to gather the WHOLE community of Bjarred to stone them (Leviticus 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just do what we normally do, when people sleep in the same bed as their relatives and burn them on the family bonfire? (Leviticus 20:14).

 

I know that you’ve already gone to the bottom with these questions, so I’m looking forward to clear answer.

A big thank you to all you preachers who are showing that us that the word of God is unchangeable!

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:lmao:

 

As a transwoman and an ex-Christian, I think these are great! I think I may post them in my blog. Thanks for sharing.

 

~Kelli

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Here's the original (I think)

 

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

 

Dear Dr. Laura:

 

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

 

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

 

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

 

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

 

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

 

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

 

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

 

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

 

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

 

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

 

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

 

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

 

Your devoted fan,

Jim

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I thought there were probably several versions floating around. Good nonetheless!

 

 

You have a great view! Is that New York?

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Don't xians just say that these things don't apply since jesus died on the cross? And if so where do they get that? Where in the new testament does it say all these laws are null and void?

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You have a great view! Is that New York?

 

Thanks emme,

 

LOL, I don't know how great the view is from where I am, but I enjoy the snow. I am actually in a suburb of Buffalo. Across the street and the small field with trees is a single set of railroad tracks that are only used a few times a week, and beyond that are some old warehouses you can see in the background. My neighborhood itself is actually very nice, but it kind of sits on the edge of a small, very old industrial slum left over from the golden age of railroad era.

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