I S'pose It Would Be Polite To Introduce Myself

[Guest Crystal]

Since I've been lurking around a while and recently started actually posting. Hi.. *waves* my name is Crystal and I've only been "officially" an Ex-Christian for a few months. I've been on the ROAD to "ex-Christianity" for a little over a year, I think.

 

To be honest, I'm not really ready to post my whole story just yet. Suffice it to say that I've suffered a lot of abuse at the hands of Christians whom I thought were my friends... and I'm still trying to sort it all out in my mind. I read a lot of the testimonies of people around here and I recognize almost every story. I guess I, like everyone else, at some point just reached a point in my "faith walk" where I began to realize that this stuff didn't make sense. I don't remember what it was, but there was a discussion that I was having with a pastor-friend of mine about some questionable bit of doctrine (probably something referring to how one shouldn't have sex outside of marriage. That's my big "sin issue". *rolls eyes*) and when he answered me, I realized... he was making it up as he went along. It sounded right, and he THOUGHT that it was somehow "inspired"... but he was really pulling things out of his ass to rationalize something that he'd always been told was true but never really had any sustantial evidence for.

 

And suddenly I realized that just about EVERYTHING I believed had been like that... and in fact, I'd been doing the same thing for several years.

 

I'm not really angry about it, I think that most people don't realize what they're doing. I am sad and sometimes angry about the way that I've been treated and, like I said, I've suffered a LOT of abuse at the hands of "the Church". I'm not over it. I may never BE over it. Some of them still try to contact me and when they do, it's like they're opening up old wounds all over again. They tell me that they know why I left and that it's not the reason I've given them. They say that it's because I don't want to take responsibility for my own actions.

 

But the fact is... it's quite the opposite. For once, I'm READY to take responsibility for my own life. There's no "almighty hand" guiding my way. There's choice and chance and that's it. I make my choices and I take my chances. If I make mistakes those are my responsibility. If someone fucks me over then I have a right to be irritated or angry with them... not that it will necessarily do any good, and then it's MY responsibility what I DO with that irritation and anger. I don't sit and bitch about what a shitty hand the universe, or God, or the Devil, or Fate has dealt me. What I do with MY life is up to ME. I won't take responsibility for OTHER people's mistakes, but I will understand and be compassionate about them, if they apologize for the hurt that they cause people.

 

Some folks can't do that. Some people need a sky-daddy to make their day better or save them a parking space at the mall or help them win the lottery. Some people need that belief, for whatever reason. And some of those people get angry when I question it... because, deep down, it makes them question themselves.

 

But I'm done with it.

 

So... I'm here... because it seems like a semi-sane place (as much as anyplace. ). I live in Indiana so it's damned hard to find anyone who's NOT a Christian. My partner, whom I live with, is technically a Christian (or he calls himself one. I'm convinced he's an Agnostic deep down but it's not really my place to tell him that. ) but he's very supportive, and he's not a fundamentalist or a neurotic sex-phobe. We have our tense discussions, but he's too rational to treat me badly or even really pass any judgment for my lack of belief. As far as he's concerned, I may very well be right. But he needs his beliefs, whether they're wrong or right, or he feels like he does. And I respect that. So sometimes that means that I don't talk to him about every little thing that's on my mind.

 

And I figured, here might be a good place to air out some of those things.

 

So, y'all seem like nice folk and I've enjoyed reading a lot of the conversations here. I hope to learn a lot and celebrate our "freedom from religion". W00t!

[ShackledNoMore]

Hi Crystal! It's good to have you here!

 

There's so much truth to what you said about how you are now truly taking responsibility for your own life. For those who aren't equipped or don't feel equipped to deal with their own baser impulses--it seems to them that people need a sky daddy or a parent or a sergeant to impose and enforce the rules. A lot of irony there--they can't trust themselves to be decent people without some made up god. Then, if they see someone is, they claim that person is the one not taking responsibility, despite the evidence.

 

As for this place, it's sane enough so that people have seen through a ruse, even after it was repeated loudly and frequently. That's a lot more sane then most of the world.

[HuaiDan]

Welcome! I'm an American expat who lives in China. I've been on this board for 5 years and haven't ever posted my story.

[Taphophilia]

Hi Crystal,

 

I've enjoyed reading your thoughts and you fit right into the ecclectic bunch that makes up Ex-C.

 

Christians like to say the problem lies with us, we left so that we are free to commit "sin", instead of admitting that their belief system is severely flawed.

 

The biggest problem that I have with Christianity is if they have to choose between dogma and doing the right thing, they choose dogma every time, hurting people and more times then not skipping out on them, leaving them to deal with the mess left on the carpet. Their excuse, people did it, not Jesus.

 

It's great being able to communicate with others who not only understand but have been though similar experiences.

 

Though, I must warn you. Ex-C is highly addictive.

 

Taph

[Grandpa Harley]

"y'all seem like nice folk"

 

A filthy lie and you know it (well, you've known me for long enough...)

 

I'm pleased you're out of the closet! xxx

[Guest Crystal]

Christians like to say the problem lies with us, we left so that we are free to commit "sin", instead of admitting that their belief system is severely flawed.

 

I get so tired of hearing that. But I think it's the easiest answer that people can think of. It's a lot easier than facing the truth... which is that you left because you legitimately felt that there was a problem with the system. Y'know?

 

The biggest problem that I have with Christianity is if they have to choose between dogma and doing the right thing, they choose dogma every time, hurting people and more times then not skipping out on them, leaving them to deal with the mess left on the carpet. Their excuse, people did it, not Jesus.

 

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and absolutely yes. I'd say "amen" if I said amen, LOL.

 

It's great being able to communicate with others who not only understand but have been though similar experiences.

 

Though, I must warn you. Ex-C is highly addictive.

 

You know, I've noticed that.

 

Thanks for the warm welcomes, and I look forward to reading more stories around here when I can (that whole working thing keeps getting in the way. blagh.)

[Guest Crystal]

"y'all seem like nice folk"

 

A filthy lie and you know it (well, you've known me for long enough...)

 

I'm pleased you're out of the closet! xxx

 

And damn, I didn't even know there WAS a closet.

 

You know it's all your fault, you agent of evil you. Evil evil crazy british man.