sethosayher Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Just a disclaimer: I'm brand new to this site...one of these days I'll post the entire story of my deconversion, but right now I want to vent a little. She said that God had revealed to her that I was an atheist...which is true. I know intellectually that she probably deduced my lack of faith from my behavior and convinced herself that her intuition was the result of providence, but it was unnerving to hear nonetheless. She told me that if I didn't rededicate my faith then God would eventually make me endure incredible suffering, to make me turn to his aid...What sort of cruel God would do such a thing? Becoming an agnostic and then an atheist was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, and everyday I wonder if I've made a mistake...being in a Christian household is so difficult... I didn't affirm her comments, just brushed them off like I always do...Guys, I'm confused and unsure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sethosayher Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 I'd just like to say that just reading the comments on this site has helped me stabilize my emotional condition in the last few hours. I now realize that I have nothing to fear...Also, I've posted my story in the testimonial section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknowing1 Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 No you don't and don't let what your mother says make you think otherwise. You already knew it but your mother wasn't told by god. She had figured it out for herself. It's easy to want to believe that the voice we hear is God's when it is really our own sub conscience. By the way, welcome. You'll find that you are among friends and people here really care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Wow- sounds like god's getting smarter! Welcome to the site, and to thinking for yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Sounds like a head trip. She figured it out by: Someone telling her, a good guess, browsing your history on the internet, or eve dropping on your conversations. To "impress" you with the power -o- gawd, she claims jeebus told her. Welcome to ex, pleased to met you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 My mother used to use the "god told me" line on me when I was a little girl to guilt me. Funny thing was, "god" was wrong most of the time. Welcome, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhia Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I hope you feel you've made the right decision - but in the end even that choice is yours. I know I have, and I was the one that converted my whole immediate family, and then deconverted as soon as I went to college. To this day, my mother mourns her losses of me in "the Kingdom", but feels so "blessed" that I was a Christian for the time I was, because I was the one who "showed her the true path". Every day, I remember this mother the way she used to be (a funny, life-loving, very liberal agnostic), and I wish I had some way to turn back time far enough back so that I could have my mother back with the knowledge I have now. [/end hijack] You have nothing to fear of this cruel god - especially since you're an atheist. Why should you fear what you know doesn't exist? If you keep looking for things that represent vindication from god, you're going to feel like the world is collapsing around you; the same was as in the case with my OTHER mother, if I take every little superstitious thing that she says the tarot cards "say" about my dying young, or my suddenly being pregnant for no real reason - I'm going to go mad. You're going to go mad if you EXPECT punishment for this. You have done nothing wrong, even though the religion you left as blackballed you. You family may try to make you feel there's punishment from god - but they're not god; they're just very brainwashed, scared people who can't accept anything that isn't what they already know. You're free now, to live your life as you see fit - and to make choices best for yourself. It's your time to shine: show them that you CAN succeed, and live a healthy, full, loving, and beautiful life without god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 She told me that if I didn't rededicate my faith then God would eventually make me endure incredible suffering, to make me turn to his aid...What sort of cruel God would do such a thing? Becoming an agnostic and then an atheist was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, and everyday I wonder if I've made a mistake...being in a Christian household is so difficult... I didn't affirm her comments, just brushed them off like I always do...Guys, I'm confused and unsure. I hope you won't let this remark scare or confuse you. It sounds like a parental control tactic of some kind. Christianity down through history has been a lot about controlling people. It just shows what kind of god your mother believes in, with support to be found in the Holy Babble. Too bad you have to live in the house with it now, but things always change. Welcome to Ex-Christian! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 God speaks to your mom? How awesome. I wish I had more family members who offered such entertainment. Welcome to Ex-C, Sethosayher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Can you ask your mum to ask God for the Euromillions winning numbers for the next draw? Your mom may not know what that is, but god should have a good idea...ta... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 and as a tactic, 'He loves you so much he's going to fuck you up bad...' says a lot about mom... considered looking at care homes before she hurts someone or her self? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Can't say I can really relate. The christian side of my family went into denial mode, I became a self-exiled black sheep, and the subject never came up directly. All that aside, let me be the next to extend a warm welcome. You'll find support-oriented forums, science and theology forums, the fundy punching-bag forums, among others. Take a look around and let the rest of us know what you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Oh yes, welcome aboard... and don't mind my 'sense of humour'... I can be pretty dark at times, not to say out right sick and nasty... I'm mostly ok some of the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sethosayher Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 I want to thank all of you for your comments...they've genuinely strengthened my resolve and absolved me of any sense of guilt. I know now that I will not be punished for my faithlessness; that bad things happen to people whether you're Christian or not. Thank you for your welcome--I'm very excited to explore this site and it's resources. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Welcome to the site. Parents have been using the "god told me...." line for eons to guilt or make thier youngins fearful if they didn't comply with the parent's wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluewizard Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Welcome, I've had similar things happen to me as well. My old Sunday School teacher, who was in the Life Care Center at the time, about 3 years ago the day after Christmas,, she called my Dad to tell her "God had woken her up at 4 AM and had told her that I was supposed to be saved today" and of course my Dad drove me to the Life Care Center and I got pressured to believe in all that Christianity, but I just didn't do it, and I guess I was supposed to die soon according to my Sunday School Teacher since I was supposed to be saved, but I'm still here, 3 years later, alive and as Godless as ever as an atheist. In conclusion, people will always equate things to their God, when it's in fact their own mind, but they've been brainwashed by the church to believe they have a connection center to God, which makes them make these outrageous claims. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I've heard that "God's going to get you line" a lot lately. I tell my story and Xians get all pinched in the face and anal-retentiveness sets in and they tell me that God will chase after me until I give into him. So, I suffered big time as a Xian and now God's going to make me suffer as an ex-xian? Shit happens. Life happens. Sometimes people suffer regardless of what they believe. Sounds like your mother may be intending to make your life difficult in order to "save" you. Hopefully that's not her personality type though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sethosayher Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 Sounds like your mother may be intending to make your life difficult in order to "save" you. Hopefully that's not her personality type though. I don't know about that. She can be level-headed, liberal minded and rational at times...but all of a sudden she'll become an emotional lunatic, crying and screaming about my and my father's apparent Godlessness. She even used to do physical harm to my things when I protested going to church. I just surrender now, as the fight for going to church or not isn't worth having my Macbook smashed to bits. As evil as she sounds she can be the most awesome person in the world sometimes...which makes this entire situation that much harder. I can't just blindly hate her. I have to go for a bit, my minister uncle just dropped by for some lunch. Time to hear him rant about Iran...though he's really a good person too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I guess your mother is the first person that actually can hear God's voice for real... just kidding. As humans we have an uncanny ability to pick up signals that are not totally obvious. That's why we as a species have been so friggin successful in totally take over this planet like a unstoppable virus. Anyway, mothers can see it even better, because they not only look at your behavior and your responses, but also they kind of know you based on their own experience and personality. They can "feel" something is out of the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 She told me that if I didn't rededicate my faith then God would eventually make me endure incredible suffering, to make me turn to his aid...What sort of cruel God would do such a thing? Becoming an agnostic and then an atheist was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, and everyday I wonder if I've made a mistake...being in a Christian household is so difficult... Life is one endless chain of making decisions, many of them tough ones. Embracing blind faith (of whatever kind) doesn't mean to always make the right decision... it means to stop wondering what's right, even to stop realizing there are decisions to make. In other words, blind faith = willful braindeath. That said, welcome, greetings from Germany Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExConfusedChristian Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I'm so sick of all the 'God told me' and "God is doing this" crap that gets slung around the Christian community - if only they knew how stupid it sounds!!! Sort of example - for any Survivor fans. Remember on China when Leslie, near the beginning, got given a clue to the hidden immunity idol? She said "I really feel like the Lord has given me a real gift here". Then they cut to Jaime who gave it to her, confessing to the camera that she did it because she thought Leslie was the weakest player.....! I sorta loved that whole scene in a twisted way. Okay, end of that and if you don't know/like Survivor, sorry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Just a disclaimer: I'm brand new to this site...one of these days I'll post the entire story of my deconversion, but right now I want to vent a little. [snip] She told me that if I didn't rededicate my faith then God would eventually make me endure incredible suffering, to make me turn to his aid...What sort of cruel God would do such a thing? Becoming an agnostic and then an atheist was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, and everyday I wonder if I've made a mistake...being in a Christian household is so difficult... First of all...welcome. Second, I'm going to give you the grand secret. If "god" wants you to know something...it will tell you directly instead of having your mom, friend, stranger on the street or dead guy in a book tell you all about it. Is this "god" so lame that it manages to give your messages to everyone else but YOU? mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 She told me that if I didn't rededicate my faith then God would eventually make me endure incredible suffering, to make me turn to his aid...What sort of cruel God would do such a thing? I Love you so much, I'm going to hurt you until you love me back. God as abusive sadistic stalker. Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sethosayher Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 Thank you again for your support. After reading your replies I feel almost silly for falling for my mother's threats. It's incredible how an individual can suspend rational thought when religion is involved. I am so glad I found this site. It feels so good to be among folk who understand my struggle. I'm tired of feeling guilty and unsure, I'm tired of feeling like an outcast in my own society, in my own home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Bornot2B Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 Thank you again for your support. After reading your replies I feel almost silly for falling for my mother's threats. It's incredible how an individual can suspend rational thought when religion is involved. I am so glad I found this site. It feels so good to be among folk who understand my struggle. I'm tired of feeling guilty and unsure, I'm tired of feeling like an outcast in my own society, in my own home. You are in a difficult situation and I completely understand. Your mother is reacting the only way she understands. My mother told me one day that she hoped that I still believed. I let it pass and made no comment. I think that my father knows that I don't buy into the bible and xtianity anymore. I am not sure if he knows that I am agnostic/borderline atheist. I do not think that my family would react very well if I came clean to them about it either. I tend to take the view that if they want to believe all of that then that is their business. I would rather them not know than to cause them any pain. Understand that for people who still believe in all those myths, they are reacting just as they are programmed to. Fear is a tremendous motivator. Good luck and know that there are people on this site who are going through or have gone through the same things that you have. I think that someone said here recently that this site was better than any church that they had ever attended. I tend to agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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