My Mother Told Me Today That God Told Her I Was An Atheist.

[michie_s]

Thank you again for your support. After reading your replies I feel almost silly for falling for my mother's threats. It's incredible how an individual can suspend rational thought when religion is involved.

 

I am so glad I found this site. It feels so good to be among folk who understand my struggle. I'm tired of feeling guilty and unsure, I'm tired of feeling like an outcast in my own society, in my own home.

 

Welcome sethosayher! Glad you are finding the help and support you need here.

Don't worry about falling for the BS. I used to hear the "god told me"arguments all the time and still do sometimes from my mother! Can't tell you how many times god told people stuff that he never bothered to share with me! Even though I believed some, I would have been in deep shit if I'd followed or believed all the things that he told others to tell me, or been taken in by so called "revelations" about my state of being at any particular time. That part of the magical thinking of xianity..god know you better than you know yourself and happily tells other people about your deepest secrets!

[fallenleaf]

She told me that if I didn't rededicate my faith then God would eventually make me endure incredible suffering, to make me turn to his aid...

 

I have been waiting almost 15 years for God to get around to my incredible suffering. I heard the same thing all the time. Usually from someone talking about how they went astray and had to hit rock bottom before finding God again. But I was also told it directly. To my benefit, I came out many years after I deconverted. So I was able to dismiss this stupidity for what it was right away without them having very much "it will happen later" wiggle room.

 

When it happened a few years ago, I instantly pointed out that the last dozen years of my life had been the least troublesome or trying times of my life. I pointed out that I was, if anything, experiencing fewer trials. I woke up happy and content and with a clear purpose and joy every morning. Perhaps God wanted me to remain unsaved.

 

They instantly changed their tactic. Turns out that it was Satan making my life easy so that I wouldn't look for God. And that if I tried to look for God he would make life hard again to keep me from finding faith. At this point, I found it impossible to keep a straight face. And I had to ask how I would know if it was God tormenting me to bring me back or Satan tormenting me to keep me away... should I ever find myself being tormented.

 

That was the end of the conversation.

 

Anyway, don't worry about facing suffering because you turned away. People suffer with faith and without it. God isn't going to punish you for losing faith. He'd have to exist in the first place... and beyond that, he would have to care.