Aurelia Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 My deconversion was accelerated when I allowed a wiccan friend to perform Reiki on me. At the time it was a scary experience, but not the Reiki itself, but rather the feelings I felt during the sessions. I felt much the same as all those times I believed myself to be in the presence of god himself. I teared up some, felt so small and insignificant compared to the rest of the universe, the same way I felt about god. The feeling of detachment from this reality was the same as when I would "press into god" through intense prayer and worship, often prostrate and laid out on the floor. This really scared me because I had previously thought that only myself and other christians could feel these emotions. I thought they were the result of being "in tune" with the holy spirit or being a child of god. But what I learned is that feelings are feelings are feelings. If I miss anything I felt in a church environment, I could easily feel it again through mediatation or any number of activities. Not only that, but my feelings are my own and there is nothing wrong with feeling them. I no longer tag feelings as "of god" or "not of god" so there is no guilt or shame if I don't feel so great. Good, bad, great, horrible, and all in between, they're all a part of what makes me who I am. And that's ok with me. ~ Aurelia ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 You are still you! That's a great sentiment, Aurelia! As Christians we were always told to find out who we are IN CHRIST! I still don't know what the fuck that means... What about who we are as human beings? Doesn't that have importance? Doesn't that have value? I feel it's the most important thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 You are still you! That's a great sentiment, Aurelia! As Christians we were always told to find out who we are IN CHRIST! I still don't know what the fuck that means... What about who we are as human beings? Doesn't that have importance? Doesn't that have value? I feel it's the most important thing. Good point. I don't remember ever being taught in church that we have value simply by virtue of being human. In fact it was the opposite: Because we were human, we were nothing more than dirty, worthless sinners. We only had value because christ said we had value. Not anymore. My value comes from within now, not from without. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Damn, I've been trying to get some Xians to see just that! You said it exactly. They think that we have no value on our own...perfect! Sorry for maybe seeming a little overboard with the idea, but it's been something that's been gnawing at me and you just wrote it so succinctly...wrapped it all up in a neat little sentence for me! Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Sorry for maybe seeming a little overboard with the idea, but it's been something that's been gnawing at me and you just wrote it so succinctly...wrapped it all up in a neat little sentence for me! Thanks! No prob! And thanks for responding to my lil post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Damn, I've been trying to get some Xians to see just that! You said it exactly. They think that we have no value on our own...perfect! Sorry for maybe seeming a little overboard with the idea, but it's been something that's been gnawing at me and you just wrote it so succinctly...wrapped it all up in a neat little sentence for me! Thanks! GG, that's not overboard at all. You'd be surprised how many of us on here have gone through the self-same experience at some time or other. Keep your eyes peeled. It's at the heart of the christian religion. We're good and valuable just because. But religion goes and says we're fucked up just because. They they stick jesus in there and say now we're okay if we believe enough. See that two-letter word in there? I F. I F we believe enough. To hell with that crap! You're good enough because you're YOU. You wouldn't hurt a fly, would you? Well, okay, all of us get mad enough to kill flies once in a while. But just for no reason at all we don't. It's not the way we evolved. See what I'm getting at? We're outraged when someone is nasty to animals. If a dog is valuable enough just because, then so am I. So are you. Just because. Why? Because. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Back on topic. Aurelia, thanks for additional "evidence" that the "spiritual" feelings are part of "us." And not part of some extra-terrestial entity. I'm not sure why but I can use all the evidence I can get right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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