Llwellyn Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Would you agree that Christianity does not contribute to the healthy development of a person's sexuality? That was my experience. My religious and moral understandings provided me no foundation on which to construe my adolescent sexual awakening as anything but problematic. In my teens I was interested in girls and wanted to get close to them, to touch them, to kiss them, to look at them. But churchly books and articles warned against "lustful thoughts." Conversations with my parents warned me of the risks of "sexual sin" and God's punishment for "lust." I grew up in a religious community, and there were many negative messages about sex. In Church retreat lectures, "Breakaway" and "Campus Life" magazine articles, Bible study meetings... -- I don't think I heard one light-hearted and approving comment about sexual attraction or romantic behavior. Today I suffer from a sexual neurosis, and I have the suspicion that Christianity created it in my psyche. In my case, I have a phobia of breasts. Well, it would probably more accurately be described as a form of "social anxiety" -- I become self-conscious and anxious when interacting with women because I am afraid that in an unguarded moment I would take a look at their breasts. In my mind, I imagine that they would immediately notice, label me a "pervert," and reject me. In my imagination, I fear the retaliation of God and humans if I make any acknowledgment of my interest in breasts. And Oh, what an interest! My avoidance has done nothing to quell my interest in breasts, but has only turned it into an obsession of mine. Have you developed any sexual neuroses, obsessions, compulsions, disorders, disfunctions, paraphilias or fetishes due to Christianity? I realize that not all people who grow up in Christian households develop these problems, but perhaps some others out there do. If this thread makes you think of something, could you please share? I would appreciate it. (PS, I post this in the "Life" rather than "Sex" subforum because I wanted to reach a broad audience.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 I have fear of a sexual relationship for some reason. I know it is due to sexual repression due to Xianity, but it's difficult to explain it and I don't really understand my own reactions to it. I just know I'm going to have to find someone who will be very patient and loving and understanding when the time comes... I was mostly comfortable with my ex even though I always wished to explore more in that department. I had a lot of insecurities that I never voiced due to her own insecurities...it's all very confusing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Llwellyn, Sorry to hear of this... Man, found out later on in my life my folks were not all that *moral*, in that they choose quite a few partners both in and outa house, with and not with regards to partners.. And they were shiny, moral looking, gone to some formula church twice weekly.. As far as me? Test several times annually, come up clean, and fuck like a very LARGE bunny with who and what pleases self and lady.. "Just fucking do it", why worry save for the disaeses in which you need to be prudent about? The *act* is kickass, the adult fun is enjoyable all in itself, giving someone an orgasm or ten is usually appreciated and recipricated. See the sad, lonely little fellow sitting there wishing he had his pud in hand or in better places? That's gonna be you until you've made decision that life is worth living, even sexually.. Have fun, enjoy, and hell, if you gotta pay for it up front, thats better than not having *it* at all.. k "Fuckin' " L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandatory Chaos Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I once prayed in my teen years that god would take away my sex drive until I got married. I was struggling with the "sin" of lustful thoughts about women and it made me feel so guilty that I prayed that ridiculous prayer. What helped me get over that later in life was to do a lot of research on how to please women physically. Once you learn how everything works it tends to not be that big of a deal anymore. I suggest going to sites like askmen.com and menshealth.com to read thir articles on sexuality. I also listen to Tom Leykis (blowmeuptom.com). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 When the hormones kicked in around 14 or so, it was religion:0 body:1. I figured 1)god made me 'cause they said so and 2)I'm horny so 3)god wants me to find somebody to fornicate with. Good xtian logic in a kids mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammurabi Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Llwellyn, you and I are birds of a feather. I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear of another person with a religiously driven sexual disfunction. I searched the internet before and came up with nothing and was beginning to feel like a bit of an anomaly. When I was in my formative years, I was also a deeply convicted christian. I was one who was willing to spend my entire life single and celebate just as Paul had suggested. Not only did I avoid all forms of sexuality, but even dating. I even took great pride in calling myself "asexual". Now, in retrospect, I can see how much damage I have caused. I wouldn't describe myself as having a sexual disfunction, but rather a complete sexual aversion. I deliberately avoid having sex. My aversion is so bad that it was one of the key factors in the termination of a 4+ year living-together relationship. It's not that I don't want to have sex, but rather I'm almost afraid of sex. Sex was built up to be an ultimate evil, something that no one would ever want to do. Anytime my girlfriend and I would have sex (she'd practically have to force me into it), I couldn't shake the feeling of sex as being some sort of violent act, like it was practically a rape. I was consumed with guilt and a feeling of dirtyness. And don't get me wrong, it's not that I couldn't perform, she was definately enjoying herself (you should have seen some of the text messages she was sending me.... but I'm getting off track) but the problem was that I wasn't enjoying sex. Even my orgasm was practically a non-event, most of the time going completely unnoticed by her. So that's where I stand, but there is good news. I know why I behave this way, and because of that knowledge, I'm taking steps to "rewrite" my previous programming. It is slow work, and I'm really just beginning, but I can already see an improvement in my mentality towards sex. It'll be awkward and uncomfortable for a while, and it'll take a lot of practice to repair the damage I've done, but I'm actually looking forward to "practicing". After all, being completely celebate till I was 21, I have a lot of making up to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evolution_beyond Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I can't perform sexually with women unless the woman is in total control of the situation. I seem to be turned off by breasts and pussy. I'm sure christianity is to blame. My interests in women are purely fetishistic/submissive. I have many kinks and weird fetishes. I'm also bisexual - very much into cock. I don't necessarily think christianity can be blamed for all of it. But I'm sure it doesn't help people form a 'normal' sexuality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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