GraphicsGuy Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Still feeling good! Yay! I actually went out with friends last night...can you believe it? So, here's my issue for today. I'm feeling...nostalgic...whimsical... Like so many internet addicts I have an account on Facecrack. Yes, I admit it, I have one. To be honest, I mostly started it so I could talk to a couple of old friends. One, a girl I love and adore (but is, sadly, unavailable at this time) and my best friend from my teenage years (still a Xian). I was going through deconversion and all the other shit at the time. My best friend was quite understanding and offered to "walk through it" with me, but I passed on that since there's really nothing different he can tell me. Anyway, I'm over-explaining. The point is that I don't have many friends on Facebook or in reality. The people I have on there now are mostly aquaintances and I'm certainly the oddball of the group since I'm the only one who blogs and rants and posts vids and gets into their personal life, etc. Every one of them are people I've met in the last six months plus a few co-workers. Today, I've been feeling very nostalgic. I really wish I could look up all my old Xian friends. I wish I could "come out" to them. The problem is that I couldn't stomache the responses from them and I certainly wouldn't be sympathetic to their feelings (ie...my cousin dumped me off her friends list after I put "fuck" in one of my status updates). Plus, who knows what religious tripe they have on their profiles. It's not the number of friends that's bothering me...I guess I'm just missing some of the "good 'ol days" so to speak... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Yeah I know what you mean..... I still get group invitations and event invitations for old church/church friend related stuff. Add on top of that all the friends (once good friends) who have status updates like "totally in love with him" (him being jeebus) or "just letting god do what he wants with me" ,asking why Im not wholeheartedly agreeing with them anymore and I get the feeling I would be better off without facebook. I still havent had the cajones to change the religous preference slot as that would drop my friends to about zero in 60 seconds. And facebook is pretty much necessary for your social life in college these days. You meet someone new and almost every time they ask if you have a facebook account. Now that wouldnt be a problem but (like I gripe about alot) I go to a christian college, and even the most hypocritical of xians there still expect you to profess to be christian (at the very least on your facebook account). So yeah.... what Im saying is I am feeling a few of the after effects of deconversion as well. A little nostalgia, some regret over bridges burnt, and a few bridges I cant bring myself to torch just yet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric_PK Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 You might want to look for some blogger meet-ups in your area. You may find kindred spirits there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Wouldn't it be great if we could just skip the grieving period? Because I think that is what it is. Have you ever read up on stages of grief or anything? Would that help? We still have to go through it but understanding what is happening can help. It can also give us vocabulary to talk about it on here or elsewhere. I don't know if there's any books out there outside Marlene Winell's on the psychological impact of deconversion, but books on grief from divorce or death or job loss or other major transitions might be helpful. Many people have found Winell's book helpful. It's Leaving the Fold available on Amazon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I completely understand. Church was my social life, my entire life until four years ago. I still haven't gotten that back yet. I've thought about going back to the UU church just for the social aspect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExConfusedChristian Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Wouldn't it be great if we could just skip the grieving period? Because I think that is what it is. Have you ever read up on stages of grief or anything? Would that help? We still have to go through it but understanding what is happening can help. It can also give us vocabulary to talk about it on here or elsewhere. I don't know if there's any books out there outside Marlene Winell's on the psychological impact of deconversion, but books on grief from divorce or death or job loss or other major transitions might be helpful. Many people have found Winell's book helpful. It's Leaving the Fold available on Amazon. I read that book a couple of months ago - it was really good. I'd better get it again... Yes, would love to skip this part. It's so strange to feel so good about one area (losing the chains of religion) but feel so flattened/isolated in another (losing the social pull of church, troubles with spouse and family who are xian still).... Kelli, that is a hard one isn't it? Something that was so big for us and provided 'belonging' and 'instant friends" (well not really) is now gone...at least in the xian format. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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