Catholics!

[robbie]

Who used to be a Catholic?

 

Tell us your when-i-was-a-Catholic stories or whatever you like!

 

Can I request a sticky please?

 

I guess I should start since I'm making the thread...I was an altar boy and once dropped a bit of the water the priest washes his hands in after touching the bread and was fucking terrified. A sort of 'I dropped Jesus!!' situation

[RIPw4]

I was an alter boy also. I farted alot when I was an alter boy.

[BlueGiant]

I've got a stack, some short ones:

 

I when I was an altar boy, had the other one that was up there (kind of a newbie) faint right next to me.

 

Another time:

*cell phone ring* *guy runs out to the vestibule* Priest: "That had better be God calling."

 

Had a baby once hit the sirens, I mean full Waaaahbulance. The mortified mother rushed the tyke to the vestibule right as the Homily was about to begin. The priest recovers with: "Well, the Bible does mention much 'wailing and gnashing of teeth.'"

 

I also once saw a priest spill the wine after the whole "should be blood now" point.

[SWIM]

During my early childhood I was made to go to RCC every sunday till about age 13 when my folks got divorced. Never went to catachism (spelling?) never was an altar boy either. They didn't fed me the wafers, I guess I was not worthy since I wasn't "involved"...

 

You say you were an alter boy, any priests ever try to hit on you? I wonder how prolific that problem is/was?

[BlueGiant]

Never got hit on or anything like that. Really, it's a huge organization. The percentage incidence doesn't have to be very high at all (a few tenths of a percent) to get what appears to be a large number of cases.

 

And I'd point out that the Baptists have more. Both as a raw number of cases, and a percentage.

[SWIM]

Never got hit on or anything like that. Really, it's a huge organization. The percentage incidence doesn't have to be very high at all (a few tenths of a percent) to get what appears to be a large number of cases.

 

And I'd point out that the Baptists have more. Both as a raw number of cases, and a percentage.

 

Well that's good that they have not messed with you. I kinda suspected it was a small percentage, the media makes you feel like they all do it lol.

 

And I did not know it was *more* common with baptists. I figured RCC would have the most since the preists cannot marry, I thought it would attract some of the more stranger types...

[Telesmith]

I have to say I never understood the line of thinking that the celibate are more likely to be child molesters. Aside from the fact that it is factually untrue, it logically does not follow. I could go my whole life from this point forward never scoring again and that wouldn't make me want to fuck with a kid. Pedophilia is a sexual disorder, frequency of sexual experiences has nothing to do with it. the opposite implication of this argument would be that people who have more sex are less likely to be child predators. Hardly.

[MathGeek]

I am still practicing despite my outright hatred toward the institution. I listened to a sermon where I was told to stop thinking with my mind, and I should think with my heart (????). Right, that's like stopping plate tectonics or human stupidity. I spend most of my life attached to the Vatican, but I am not a tither. I was married in the church, I served mass in the church, I went back to the church after I got over the pull of emotional Pentecostal worship. Just the more and more I think about it, the more and more I am convinced that my hatred toward the religion comes from an emotional reservoir more than an intellectual one. I could cite the pedophilia scandals as a reason, but it is personal dissatisfaction with the church and it might be rooted in rote, sense-killing worship. There is no point to it. I am that smart kid in class who is flunking because I am not inspired, except I am in the pew instead of the pupil's desk. The Catholic Church has no purpose anymore.

[BlueGiant]

And I did not know it was *more* common with baptists. I figured RCC would have the most since the preists cannot marry, I thought it would attract some of the more stranger types...

 

It is much easier for the Baptists to disavow a particular church due to the fairly decentralized nature of their federation. And there are few things stranger than a Baptist preacher.

[Kelli]

I was Catholic until age 13 when I broke away from the Catholic church to join the local Bible Presbyterian (read: FUNDY) church. Somehow I think I'd have been better off staying Catholic.

 

 

Funny story? At my first communion I grabbed the cup and pulled it down so I could actually get a sip of the stuff. The priest was being stingy.

[Deva]

And there are few things stranger than a Baptist preacher.

 

How very true, and few people more egotistical.

[SWIM]

I have to say I never understood the line of thinking that the celibate are more likely to be child molesters.

 

Well, it's not some much that, as pretty much the media makes you feel it is happening in predominately catholic churches, which leads me to wonder "why them?" and one big SEXUAL thing that seperates them is the no wife thing. So, being me I put two and two together.

 

Actually someone who is willfully celibate would be almost impossible for them to molest BUT... (there is always a but eh?) someone that's a pedo, or other such thing is NOT going to wear a "what would bundy do" tshirt, they will likely claim celibacy. And since someone twisted really bad might not be married... That's the logic, lol not bashing celibate people!

 

[Telesmith]

And since someone twisted really bad might not be married... That's the logic, lol not bashing celibate people!

 

You might have a point there. I wonder if pedos are less likely to maintain relationships. Part of me thinks that because they are so effed in the head the answer would be yes but then again it seems like the real sociopaths can fool just about anyone.

[Telesmith]

Hijack over. ...Sorry.

[R. S. Martin]

And there are few things stranger than a Baptist preacher.

 

How very true, and few people more egotistical.

 

Can you elaborate on what is so unique about Baptist preachers? I get the feeling from these forums and other things I read on the internet, such as admonitions they write, that Baptist preachers are very much like Old Order Mennonite preachers. Egotism just seems to go with the field. The more humble they can make the egotism appear, the better.

[pandora]

I was raised Catholic, but converted to evangelical Protestantism in high school. I always felt my trials in the Catholic church were nothing compared to the evangelical fundies. Catholics are kooky, but usually pretty cool in my book.

[BlueGiant]

And there are few things stranger than a Baptist preacher.

 

How very true, and few people more egotistical.

 

Can you elaborate on what is so unique about Baptist preachers? I get the feeling from these forums and other things I read on the internet, such as admonitions they write, that Baptist preachers are very much like Old Order Mennonite preachers. Egotism just seems to go with the field. The more humble they can make the egotism appear, the better.

 

9 times out of 10, when a preacher publicly lets a real gem of "Christian Love" ™ pop out of his mouth, it's a Baptist. Moreover, I remember very well when they held their convention in STL during the height of the RCC's sex abuse scandal, and how they were a bunch of smug sons of bitches (sorry to any bitches out there). I guess they could be so happy with themselves because they just hadn't gotten caught yet.

 

Also, they have their own "interpretation" of everything, I guess it is just so they can keep getting their knobs polished, and their palms greased with green. Biggest peddlers of lies, only outdone by their independent brethren.

[Deva]

Yes, the Independents are the worst. They usually have complete control of their congregation. There are no standards, its the congregation that votes their sorry asses in. They are not required to be educated like pastors of mainline churches and RCC priests are. They get their education -- uh --indoctrination at racist places like Bob Jones U. They like to control people and assert their will on others. What makes it worse is the perpetual smile you generally see plastered on their faces.

[R. S. Martin]

And there are few things stranger than a Baptist preacher.

 

How very true, and few people more egotistical.

 

Can you elaborate on what is so unique about Baptist preachers? I get the feeling from these forums and other things I read on the internet, such as admonitions they write, that Baptist preachers are very much like Old Order Mennonite preachers. Egotism just seems to go with the field. The more humble they can make the egotism appear, the better.

 

9 times out of 10, when a preacher publicly lets a real gem of "Christian Love" â„¢ pop out of his mouth, it's a Baptist. Moreover, I remember very well when they held their convention in STL during the height of the RCC's sex abuse scandal, and how they were a bunch of smug sons of bitches (sorry to any bitches out there). I guess they could be so happy with themselves because they just hadn't gotten caught yet.

 

Also, they have their own "interpretation" of everything, I guess it is just so they can keep getting their knobs polished, and their palms greased with green. Biggest peddlers of lies, only outdone by their independent brethren.

 

I don't accept that Baptists are worse than the Old Order Mennonites. There's just more of them and you probably don't know the OOM as intimately as you know the Baptists.

[Deva]

I don't accept that Baptists are worse than the Old Order Mennonites. There's just more of them and you probably don't know the OOM as intimately as you know the Baptists.

 

I will amend my statement to say "the worst in my experience," which of course does not include OOM.

[R. S. Martin]

I don't accept that Baptists are worse than the Old Order Mennonites. There's just more of them and you probably don't know the OOM as intimately as you know the Baptists.

 

I will amend my statement to say "the worst in my experience," which of course does not include OOM.

 

Thanks.

 

Now I feel like I belong, too.

 

The exBaptists are the people I identify with perhaps more than most others. Church of Christ might be about the same.

[SilentLoner]

I guess the only good story I have from my catholic days would be my communion.

 

I think I posted this in my ex-testimonial some time ago, but things went amazingly wrong during the communion including but not limited to:

1) My dress sleeve caught fire from a candle

2) The flowers were sent to the wrong church, showed up half an hour into the ceremony, my godmother had to put the flower crown on my head while the priset was asking me the questions.

3) I eat the wafer and go to take a sip of the wine - only one of my relatives had told me wine tasted like grape juice and I took a big gulp. I start gagging loudly, the priest thought I was going to puke and jumped out of the way.

4) My mom yells at me during the whole drive to the post-ceremony party.

 

Useful experience in hindsight when I deconverted but rather bad at the time. Probably would have been funnier if I did puke on the priest...

[Skiergirl24]

Oh I have tons!

 

A lot of the Irish CAtholic priests in the Boston Archdiocese were drunks. I remember one Easter we went to the Children's Mass. The Priest was bombed and began talking about Jesus and the tree of life, and how Jesus cut himself on a thorn, and the blood made the tree of life sprout up, and off the tree of life grew the Holy Spirit, and the disciples etc. It made no sense...not even metaphorically. I remember my parents talking about what a boozehound that particular priest was.

 

In CCD (we called it Central City Dump) my class had this crotchety old Nun. She had a scowl on her face 24/7...olooked like she was smelling a bad fart. I can't remember her name but she was nasty and hated kids. We had to start each CCD class by saying the Lord's Prayer and then the Hail Mary. As we bowed our heads in prayer I noticed that one girl, Heather, was chewing gum. I kept nudging her and whispering "Hey Heather, gimme a piece, gimme a piece!" Well the nun came over and slapped my arms and my hands. I was in shock. hahaha. I went home and told my Dad and he, having grown up in an Irish Catholic home, shrugged his shoulders and said "That's what Nuns do...they hit children."

 

There is a teen program in the Catholic Church that was big in the news when I was a teenager (mid to late 1990s). The program was called LIFETEEN and they started a chapter at our parish. My parents MADE me go to the Lifeteen center for the "socials." Socials consisted of watching dumb movies about God and eating pizza. There were a few dances as well. Raally Lame-o. I remember whenever you walked in the door to the youth center the Lifeteen leader, this odd man named Jeff (closet pedophile I am SURE), would give you a huge hug - whether you welcomed it or not. It was odd. They had a Lifeteen Mass each Sunday that my parents made my brother and me go to. It was lame...lots of dumb songs and hand motions "Our God is an awesome God, he reigns from Heaven above.." Lame shit. I hated it. My brother refused to do the hand motions and the priest siad loudly "That's okay everyone, if you don't love God you don't HAVE to do the hand motions.." Incidentally the priest who FOUNDED the Lifeteen was later defrocked for molesting dozens of children. What a shocker!

 

I remember before our first communion they made us all go to confession. It was a big to do. If you couldn't THINK of any sins you had commited they gave you a little booklet filled with sins. I remember two of them vividly "Impure thoughts" and "Impure acts" and next to them in parenthesis was (BOYS). Hahaha. As a 7 year old I had no idea what that meant. I remember going through the motions of the whole first communion thing, confession, etc. but having no clue what it was all about...we, as children, just did what we were told. We learned the prayers we were supposed to learn (Hail Mary, Our Father, Nicene Creed, Apostles Creed etc.) but had NO IDEA what they meant.

[Skiergirl24]

oh oh oh this is funny. We ALWAYS got to church late....always sat in the back. My parents fought tooh and nail to get us to go to church each Sunday. I must have been about 6 when we actually go to church on time and sat aabout 20 rows back from the alter. I saw the priest walk onto the altar area and then it looked like he knelt down and banged his head on the altar. I thought it was soem sort of ritual..at the beginning of mass the proest walks in and bangs his head ont he marble altar. A few years later I asked my mom "Why does the priest bang his head on the altar" and she laughed and laughed and told me he kissed it...did not bang his head on it.

[SilentLoner]

Just recalled this - for a while when I was around 11 my family went to this church where kids and adults went to separate programs. We would all these religious themed games and talk about why we loved jesus. But the worse part was watching this tv show "The Adventures of McGee and Me." Even back then I could tell how lame it was.

 

Well once the class was watching the show I left to go to the bathroom, and on my way back to the room I passed this crucifix nailed on the wall (one nail through the center). I wondered if it would spin so I spun it by the long end. It did spin, but got stuck upside down and I couldn't reach it. I didn't know what an upside down cross meant back then so I just left it.

I'm back in the room watching the show with the others when we hear a scream - you would have thought someone had gotten stabbed or something. Teacher saw the crucifix and freaked. Later on I saw someone putting holy water where it had been.

They did ask the class if we had done it, but left it with a "Jesus knows who did it." Didn't explain what the upside down cross meant though - took me a few more years to find out.