Deva Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 Well of course it's different when it's someone else asking who I am. Then the stock answer is "No one of consequence." Ah, but Woodsmoke, aren't you then comparing yourself with others? How would you know otherwise if you were a person "of consequence" or not? If you weren't to compare yourself with anyone, who are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I'm trying to break away from being defined as 'Saving the world one fuck up at a time' I'm 43 soon... I'm burned out and I feel 103 a lot of the time... Saving the world is a young man's game... I don't see much worth saving a lot of the time any more... Gramps, I dunno how to say this. How 'bout just saving yourself? I don't see you as the guy responsible for saving the world. Maybe you do but I don't see anybody defining you that way. I thought you were a satirist--a person who brightened up the world with his humour. In my book you're one of the most intelligent brains I've ever met. And that says something. There's one or two topics on which I wish you'd write a book if you haven't already done so. There's two and I can't decide which is more important--I'm afraid I can't convince you to do even one. I'd like to know more about how the social history of Europe and the New Testament are tied together. Two books might be required to tell the tale because I would also want to know how all of this related or tied in with China and the Americas. You might remember the emails from which I get these ideas. So that's why I follow your posts; you're one intelligent brain, a very deep and complex person whom I am so very glad to have had the privilege of knowing. For label-lovers, I'm an INFP. I had meant to post that I define myself as such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillian Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Defining "self" is difficult. I have learned, especially as I have gotten older and life happening, I tend to change how I feel or think as new information and experiences present themself. WHO I was a decade ago is not who I am today and, who I am today, may not be who I am tomorrow. Hell, who I am this minute may change in the next. Perspectives change. How can constant change be defined? Ever-changing. *shrug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Well of course it's different when it's someone else asking who I am. Then the stock answer is "No one of consequence." Ah, but Woodsmoke, aren't you then comparing yourself with others? How would you know otherwise if you were a person "of consequence" or not? If you weren't to compare yourself with anyone, who are you? As you well know, m'lady, it's nothing so profound as that. It's the simple fact if I were to go around telling everyone I am the Dread Pirate Roberts... well, word of that gets out and everyone would start asking, some would start hunting, and then it's nothing but work, work, work all the time. Half of being truly significant is knowing how to appear to be exactly the opposite. There's no need to complicate things unnecessarily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 As you well know, m'lady, it's nothing so profound as that. It's the simple fact if I were to go around telling everyone I am the Dread Pirate Roberts... well, word of that gets out and everyone would start asking, some would start hunting, and then it's nothing but work, work, work all the time. Half of being truly significant is knowing how to appear to be exactly the opposite. There's no need to complicate things unnecessarily. Ok Woodsmoke, I understand what you are saying now. One need not go around telling everyone who one is really. In some cases it would definately be counterproductive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 While reading the newspaper this morning I came across a curious statement made by a woman who was describing how it was for her turning 50 years of age. She said " As a single woman without children, work pretty much defines me, so I have always worked hard to develop good relationships at the office." I guess it was interesting to me because I am also a single woman without children and almost 50 but my work has NEVER defined me. It is as if she believes she is speaking for all us single, childless women. Personally, I think defining yourself by your job is a dangerous thing. What if you are fired or laid off and can't find similar work? The more I thought about it, the more peculiar it seemed to me. I am all for developing good relationships at the office. I am all for trying to do the best job I can. I have struggled to do so for the last five years I have had my current job. In my case it was no easy task and continues to be a challenge with my two self-absorbed co-workers. Basically though, I have always been in rebellion against the 40 hour workweek and the crass and materialistic, puritan American society and work ethic. Some people define themselves by how much stuff they have. A few years ago in the area where I live there was a murder-suicide where a man had a suicide pact with his wife. He was wealthy but had lost his position. He couldn't handle losing everything so he shot his teenage son, his wife, and then himself. Before doing this, he took the trouble to put yellow post- its with names written on them on various items in his home so he made sure deserving people got THE STUFF. This guy was a Catholic, church-going man. Then in the same paper we have an article by millionaire Suze Orman (another rant in and of itself) on "Five signs its time to find a new job". If you happen not to like your job, she says under the topic "Your Bored "Rather than growing in your career, you will stagnate. You won't get the promotions and raises you want, and you won't acquire the skills to keep professionally growing. That will make you incredibly vulnerable. An unmotivated and lazy worker is the easiest to let go. Andif you're forced out of a job where you have underacheived, it's going to be that much harder to impress future employers" Undeniably true -- given the immoral society the US is today. But I still say -- fuck you Suze Q! So how do you all define yourselves? Wow. Great topic. Have you read the book Fight Club, by Chuck Palanuck? Or seen the movie based on the book? The reason I ask is because it really takes a hard look at how we define ourselves and the danger it can lead to. Here are some great quotes from his book. I think it says a lot about how we, as humans, tend to define ourselves. You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 5 May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. Deliver me, Tyler, from being perfect and complete. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 5 ...you're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself.... You're not your name.... You're not your problems.... You're not your age.... You are not your hopes. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 18 As for defining myself...I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. ........and like Tyler Durden and his alter ego, I too am an insomniac. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knitterman Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Interesting question. I like to believe I am more than the combined roles that I fill, or the labels/groups/ideas with which I resonate. I used to be very much identified with my job. Since I was never much of a social-type person, the relationships I formed through my work were important to me. When I was a minister, of course, this was doubly true, but that ended back in the 80s. And after Hurricane Katrina life as I knew it up until August 29, 2005 was completely altered. By virtue of my physical location I have almost zero social life (living in a Spanish-speaking run-down part of town, vastly separated from people I would normally associate with). By virtue of my work (I'm a full time dyer creating hand-painted yarns for knitters) I work at home and alone. So none of the previously adequate modes of defining myself are sufficient today. The tangible facts: I'm 53, divorced and single since 1983, four kids, 7 natural grandchildren (plus 4 almost step-grands). Definitely gay, definitely not religious, definitely socially isolated. So I really have no idea how to define myself. BUT, being self-employed and living on my own terms (albeit, with a LOT of financial struggles in the process), I am no longer punching someone else's time clock, no longer getting paid based on some arbitrary pay scale set by the State of Louisiana (I'm in Houston, now), I can fairly well say that I am quite content and very much at peace with my life in ways that I would not have imagine previously. My self-esteem or sense of self-worth is very much self-derived. I'm proud of my choices, proud of my results, and content. There is much that would be nice to have or great to experience, but I feel no lack or limitation for not having or being or doing any particular thing right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted February 21, 2008 Author Share Posted February 21, 2008 Wow. Great topic. Have you read the book Fight Club, by Chuck Palanuck? Or seen the movie based on the book? The reason I ask is because it really takes a hard look at how we define ourselves and the danger it can lead to. No, Panda, I haven't read it but it looks like it would be very interesting. I like that quote about a spiritual being having a human experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted February 21, 2008 Author Share Posted February 21, 2008 So I really have no idea how to define myself. BUT, being self-employed and living on my own terms (albeit, with a LOT of financial struggles in the process), I am no longer punching someone else's time clock, no longer getting paid based on some arbitrary pay scale set by the State of Louisiana (I'm in Houston, now), I can fairly well say that I am quite content and very much at peace with my life in ways that I would not have imagine previously. My self-esteem or sense of self-worth is very much self-derived. I'm proud of my choices, proud of my results, and content. There is much that would be nice to have or great to experience, but I feel no lack or limitation for not having or being or doing any particular thing right now. Thanks for posting, Knitterman. Now we all know where your name comes from I am pretty socially isolated myself. I go to work in an office but I just don't relate too well to the people there. My family is far away (they are also Christians) so this website is like a home for me. I think that you feel you don't have to define yourself and are at peace despite your financial struggles is a very enlightened attitude. You say you were formerly a minister. I am always particularly interested when people come here who were so deeply involved once in Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Very Bob Frissel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I was, I am and I will be. That is the definition of myself. I am me in the past, present and future. Same yet changing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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