The Bible Made Me An Atheist

[Alucard]

Ok let me first start off by saying its nice to see a site like this, meaning everybody can speak their minds. Also i ask that people give a bit of lee-way as my sentence structure isnt the greatest in the world, yes im working on it.

 

I was was a christian fundamentalist for about 10 years, and a creationist for about 7 years. When i say fundamentalist i mean westboro babtist church type of fundie, all homosexuals were a cancer destroying society, and all non-believers were instuments of the devil. there was a time where i actually wanted to become a pastor, due to that particular urge ive studied the bible quite vigorously. ultimately in my mind i felt i could never be one since i have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. i felt as though this infliction was something that i brought on myself, it was my curse for my sins and somehow i was less perfect in the eyes of god because of it.

 

Fast forward nearly 10 years and after countless debates on the subjects of the bible and creation science i noticed myself doing something ive never done before, i started becoming troubled by the atrocities in the bible, in particular the OT.

one day while reading the old testament i came to a passage where god commanded saul to kill everyone in a town, including women and children. this deeply disturbed me i thought to myself how could a loving god order the murder of those who could not defend themselves, not just the women but also that of innocent children.

 

as i pondered on this i tried to find some reasoning as to why god, my god, my loving god, could be so cruel and unforgiving. so i started studying the bible; outside the bible.

during this time i had noticed that many other gods were refered to as the one true god and the begining and the end. the further i studied the more i started to notice that the book that i held in such high regard was historically inaccurate, settings were wrong, place dates were way off, and to top it off not even bible scholars concidered the bible a historical referance. not to mention that the bible is nothing more then a collection of much older pagan myths. this was the point where i started deprogramming myself, which i am still doing to this day, i have really only refered to myelf as an atheist for less then a year.

 

there are still quite a few issues within me to deal with, but slowly i am comming to the understanding that there is no hell, heaven, holy spirit, god, jesus or devil. im still no where complete as i still have that sick feeling when i say that, i know logically and rationally such things have no evidence to support them, now its up to my subconcious to realise that as well.

 

well thats my story, hopefully someone can identify with it.

[ogilvy]

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one day while reading the old testament i came to a passage where god commanded saul to kill everyone in a town, including women and children. this deeply disturbed me i thought to myself how could a loving god order the murder of those who could not defend themselves, not just the women but also that of innocent children.

 

well thats my story, hopefully someone can identify with it.

i can identify with it. exactly the same thing happened to me re the atrocities of the OT. and you know what? as well as women and children, animals suffered and still suffer from drought and famine. apparently God is not against suffering, for what ever reason. i know some suffering is chracter building but that doesnt apply to burning in hell. and it doesnt apply to dying people from other religions who according to the bible are doomed to hell.

 

another thing thats made me very cynical and suspicious about christianity is that most christians wont face issues like that. well i havent met many that would even admit that God's actions are cruel. probably none, actually.

 

anyway i'm in that position, too, of waiting for my subconscious mind to catch up with my conscious reasoning. i still feel like i'm being disloyal to God, but hang on, what God? its all very confusing.

[bellsybop]

I am not atheist, but feel your position. Sometimes I wonder if what keeps me holding on to being a deist is the idea that I'm not exactly ready to give up the idea of a god of sorts. For now I will continue being one. We're all here to listen to you as you go through your transition. Feel free to post and express yourself. I'm kind of new here, but have gotten the best reception from people and feel quite at home.

[Alucard]

another thing thats made me very cynical and suspicious about christianity is that most christians wont face issues like that. well i havent met many that would even admit that God's actions are cruel. probably none, actually.

tell me about it mate. when i would debate the bible i refused to look at contradictory evidence, because i felt if there was no god then what else is there.

 

once i started actually researching it i found myself emotionally distraught, and hurt. it was almost like finding out a loved one had lied to me about an important issue.

[ogilvy]

another thing thats made me very cynical and suspicious about christianity is that most christians wont face issues like that. well i havent met many that would even admit that God's actions are cruel. probably none, actually.

tell me about it mate. when i would debate the bible i refused to look at contradictory evidence, because i felt if there was no god then what else is there.

 

once i started actually researching it i found myself emotionally distraught, and hurt. it was almost like finding out a loved one had lied to me about an important issue.

thats exactly what i feel like, like someone i trusted has lied to me. i think what happened is that when i was first convicted about the bible being the word of God, i hadnt studied it for myself, so i had to go by what others told me things meant. i assumed they knew wht they were talking about, and they seemed sincere and honest, so i trusted them, especially ministers and pastors and people with positions in the church. like you said, you didnt want to look at contradictory evidence, because 'what else is there?', and most of it seemed to make sense so i trusted the things i didnt understand would also make sense. then i in turn misled others that i knew what i was talking about.

 

i would join a church, then become disillusioned about some aspect of it, i.e faked signs and wonders in pentecostal meetings, and go on to a 'better' one. one thing i found over 20 years is that each church will be loyal to its own tradtitional doctrines rather than 'search the scriptures' to come to the 'truth' of any issue. except that i think the Worldwide Church of God admitted they had been in error, and changed their doctrines. i respected them for that.

 

i had a friend who thought outside the box, and she pointed out a few things to me. for instance most churches assume that the disciples changed the day of worship from saturday to sunday and called it the Lord's Day. that is actually only based on 3 bible verses, verses which no way indicate that worship was held on sunday rather than saturday. and the resurrection did not necessariy occur on sunday, even according to the bible. everyone accepts that sunday is the official 'Lord's Day' when church services are meant to be held, but it doesnt take much looking into to see that it wasnt the case in the early church. if this info was made widely available, would anyone go back to saturday worship? i dont think so. yet the 'bible believng' churches claim to base t heir doctrines solely on scripture. everyone seems to think that other people higher up know for sure whats what, but its not so. even the well respected popular writers fill in the gaps from their own guesswork when it suits them.

 

i think this is how it happens that some christians go along with whatevrer, thinking someone higher up has worked it all out, and then others who look into it objectively get a shock to find that certain things are not what they've been told in church, i.e. in my case, God is not kind and loving, but cruel. and then, where else is there to go? what about the pictures of Jesus carrying the lost lamb? the gentle Jesus is going to kill people at the end, according to the bible. and those 'wicked' unbelievers who are going to suffer horrible afflictions like their eyeballs melting in their sockets while they're still alive, are not just the evil people who commit atrocities, but nice and harmless people who didnt happen to have accepted christianity for a multitude of reasons, not because they were horrible evil people. except in God's eyes.

 

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[CelloChick]

Exactly how I felt after reading the Bible cover to cover! Like I'd been lied to and betrayed. I started reading the Bible because I believed. I wanted more of the loving God I heard about on Sunday. I wanted to be, "in the word," like I heard about doing at church.

 

But, once I started reading the Bible I was appalled. I was repulsed by the cruelty. Lot offering his daughters to be gang raped. Instructions on how to sell your daughter into sexual slavery. The concubine being raped on the doorstep and found dead in the morning. What the hell? THIS foul, filthy, evil crap is God's word? How can this be?

 

If THIS is God's word... then... I don't like God. if THIS is God's Word, God should be tried for crimes against humanity. Wow, did that twist my mind into knots. The more I read, the more disgusted I became. I was so confused and upset. Slowly, I took a step back and asked myself. What does this book -- written by people who didn't have enough knowledge to wash their hands after taking a shit -- have to do with my life?

 

The "you are a sinner," routine confused me. I don't break laws. I pay my taxes. I pay my bills. I'm a good wife. I'm a loving mom. What did I do that was so terrible Jesus had to be murdered for God to accept me? Nothing. I did... nothing. What kind of justice is it for the innocent to be executed, so the guilty can go free? That's not justice, that's... bullshit! "What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus." Wait. What? I don't believe that, either.

 

The more I read the Bible, and really thought about my faith, the less I believed. I tried going to church, singing along, pretending I believed, but it was like trying to un-ring a bell. I quit going to church in January 2000. I'm a lot happier without church. Hopefully, you'll be happier, too.

 

CelloChick

[Neon Genesis]

God's bloodlust wasn't the only reason why I stopped believing (though I'm agnostic rather than atheist), but it was one of the main reasons and reading through evilbible.com only solidified my disbelief in the bible. I felt like if someone could somehow come up with a convincing enough explanation as to why God not only allows these disgusting acts to occur but even commits them himself, that I could somehow rationalize the rest of the bible's flaws and contradictions. But I have yet to hear a convincing explanation that either doesn't turn reading the bible into a pointless guessing game as to which parts are metaphorical and which parts are literal, or an explanation that doesn't justify mass infanticide in the process which to me is always unjust no matter if it's God or mankind. It's hard to come to grips with this realization that we've been lied to about God, but one thing that helps me is that just remember the fact that you as an individual can recognize these acts as being disgusting and sick but God can't means that you're far more just and loving than God is because we can recongize that dictatorship should never be tolerated no matter if it's God or humans.

[GraphicsGuy]

it was almost like finding out a loved one had lied to me about an important issue.

 

That's exactly what the initial deconversion steps felt like to me as well. When I "woke up" it was like having my heart ripped out of my chest.

 

Welcome!

[Alucard]

oh wow so many simular accounts, and here i was thinking i was the only one.

one thing i have noticed since my deconversion, or rather the process i now feel much happier, much more whole now that im not worried about pissing off some invisable man.

now that im an atheist im also starting to see the universe in its natural splendor and beauty. instead of saying goddidit, i now research topics and find the causes and effects for things.

 

case in point, i never knew why the sky was blue or why grass is green until a few months ago, i always thought god just designed it that way.

now im starting to see the beautiful complexity of nature.

i wonder if this is my brain finally opening up to the wonders of life.

[mick]

CelloChick,

 

I loved what you wrote here. Awesome.

 

Exactly how I felt after reading the Bible cover to cover! Like I'd been lied to and betrayed. I started reading the Bible because I believed. I wanted more of the loving God I heard about on Sunday. I wanted to be, "in the word," like I heard about doing at church.

 

But, once I started reading the Bible I was appalled. I was repulsed by the cruelty. Lot offering his daughters to be gang raped. Instructions on how to sell your daughter into sexual slavery. The concubine being raped on the doorstep and found dead in the morning. What the hell? THIS foul, filthy, evil crap is God's word? How can this be?

 

If THIS is God's word... then... I don't like God. if THIS is God's Word, God should be tried for crimes against humanity. Wow, did that twist my mind into knots. The more I read, the more disgusted I became. I was so confused and upset. Slowly, I took a step back and asked myself. What does this book -- written by people who didn't have enough knowledge to wash their hands after taking a shit -- have to do with my life?

 

The "you are a sinner," routine confused me. I don't break laws. I pay my taxes. I pay my bills. I'm a good wife. I'm a loving mom. What did I do that was so terrible Jesus had to be murdered for God to accept me? Nothing. I did... nothing. What kind of justice is it for the innocent to be executed, so the guilty can go free? That's not justice, that's... bullshit! "What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus." Wait. What? I don't believe that, either.

 

The more I read the Bible, and really thought about my faith, the less I believed. I tried going to church, singing along, pretending I believed, but it was like trying to un-ring a bell. I quit going to church in January 2000. I'm a lot happier without church. Hopefully, you'll be happier, too.

 

CelloChick

[Eccles]

It is gratfying to read the posts in this thread; that there are people who have the brains to see through the lies, deception and bullshit of that bible. Surely enough is known about the Universe through Science to prove there could not be a "God", a "Creator". There are 16 basic Laws of Nature. They show how "creation" could never happen. The most important one is the First Law of Thermodymanics which states quite clearly that matter/energy can neither be created nor destroyed. That Law has been tested and proved to be right, unlike anything in the bible. There is no proof there is a "God", no proof there was creation, no proof the first humans were Adam and Eve. The Exodus never happened. Moses (who ever he was) never received the Ten Commandments from a "God". Noah's Flood never happened. There is no contemporary evidence there was a Jesus the Nazarene. There are no Roman records of the crucifixion. All the bible is is a bad plagarism of Egyptian and Babylonian myths. Nobody knows who wrote the bible. There are no original authored manuscripts.

 

It is interesting that America is about the only country that takes the bible literally. the European countries certainly do not. Christianity is dying out quickly there. Yet here is the most powerful and most technically advanced country in the World (so it claims), the United Christian States of America whose people get sucked in and conned by crooked bible thumpers on the basis of a book of fiction. Have a look at the video "Breaking the Science Barrier" on Richard Dawkins.net.

 

"God" was not genocidal. Why? BECAUSE THERE WAS AND IS NO GOD. Atheists in the United Christian States of America, stand up for your rights. Go out into the community and demand your rights. America was NOT founded as a Christian Nation. If those who calim that take the time to read and study the Constitution correctly it would be quite plain that American was NEVER founded as a Christian Nation. I have lost contact with a friend of mine in the Bible Belt of Florida. He is Atheist and has paid a high price for being one: denied employment. I fear he might have paid the ultimate price: his death by suicide. he did hint at it.

 

At the moment there are 10 Astronauts in the International Space Station working hard under the most difficult conditions for the benefit of humankind. NASA is finding it hard to get well qualified scientists because there are too many students not studying science in school because of the pressure from the Fundamentalist Christian Right. Whatever science is taught in school is thwarted by the brainless "Creationists". Alabama has a law stating that all Biology text books have a sticker demanding that "Creation Science' be taught along the truth of Evolution. That is wrong and no State should ever have such a Law.

 

Americans, wake up to yourselves. Throw out those stupid bibles and state reading some simple science books and learn the truth.

[Alucard]

you have no idea how true those statements are, i cant wait til the day comes that i have the money to leave the bible belt, or preferably the country.

 

to give you an idea of how religious america really is, about 6 or 7 years ago i visited a catholic church here in florida, and i happen to tell a woman that i studied snakes.

 

she got all wide eyed and told me that snakes were evil and from the devil, i proceeded to own her with the bible verse that says

" do not call something unclean that god made clean."

 

she got all pissy and walked away.

 

being an atheist here in the states is a social taboo, and its even worse here in the bible belt.