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Guest kiwi888

Would You Want Your Experiences In A Book?

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I contacted Ex-Christian (I think Dave) before posting this. I'm looking for people interested in answering a short questionnaire about experiences/feelings of the nonbeliever. Anonymous participants are welcome.

 

I stumbled upon this site a few months ago (and posted a few comments) while feeling desperate about being a nonbeliever. I honestly didn't realize I was atheist because I thought I had to be able to prove the nonexistence of god or something! I started to realize that if I didn't believe in one god, I wasn't gonna believe in any of the others! Also, I grew up being exposed only to the stereotypical atheist in the news....the angry atheist trying to sue god or remove the word god from human speech! :D I realize I have plenty reasons to be angry...like the loss of years of natural mental evolution due to religious 'retarding' (don't take that phrase negatively, as I have a son with many special needs). I was programmed to believe in the literal interpretation of the bible by a non-denominational church/family. I had questions that couldn't be answered. Eventually, they say don't question god ...or our pea pebble-sized brains can't understand it all or something lame. A few years ago, my son brought me back a coloring page from Sunday school (my mom had taken him). Since I tend to see things through child eyes, I was horrified to see a man on a horse with the captioning "Herod's soldiers kill the babies in Bethlehem". It was like I took the Red pill in the Matrix. I was like What the fuck! This is NOT harmless. I was raised in a home with no choices. I was raised to believe that if you DON'T believe, don't stop others from doing so. Funny that freedom from slavery and freedom for women were fought for in the US, but parents still don't allow personal religious choice in their homes. As a kid I'd hear verses like "as for me and my house, we will serve the lord" when protesting church attendance. I wanted to raise my kids to arrive at their own conclusions without my input. My son began to ask me (at this time, he was almost 5) if I believed in god. I would dodge the question by saying I can't prove he exists and can't prove he doesn't, and you have to make up your own mind about it. I also told him it's not something you have to decide as a little kid. After a few weeks of him asking me, I said, "I don't want you to believe something just because your mommy does, so that's why I don't say. Why do you keep asking me this?" He put his hand up to his mouth, though no one was around and whispered, "Because I don't believe in god....I believe people made him up". It was stunning to hear his simple reasoning, but it was also a relief. I felt we could just talk and be ourselves about it at home. He's now almost 8 and I have to remind him that people aren't always so nice once they find out about your beliefs, or lack thereof. He has had a few talks about it with teachers at school, mostly a teacher talking about god and the little guy asking, "what if we don't believe in god". And he's had some ultra-conservative teachers. I don't want him singled out or ostracized, but so far it's been okay.

 

I gather information for this book in secret. My story is long and complex like everyone else's, I guess. Long story short, I ended up back home with mum (religious) due to my ex-partner deciding it was easier to pick up a new gf in AA/NA than to kick the habits. Almost a year ago, his habits caused him to lose almost 2 limbs....honest, it wasn't me I didn't do it (due to privacy concerns, I'm willing to answer that one privately!). My son's medical issues have made it near impossible to work as a single mom (gotta love seeing those bumper stickers that say "I pay taxes so that those on welfare don't have to"). I haven't given up though. I have taken classes whenever possible. I can almost build a computer blindfolded. I've got a brain and want desperately to use it. But it's hard to get or keep employment when your son has had more surgeries and hospitalizations than years he's been alive. But I see my goals (I have many), and the path there is getting clearer. With the internet age, more work/business can be done at home. I consider being dumped and homeless (we had a nice home) the best thing that ever happened to me. It's just too bad that it took this long to contact my real self! That is just a little bit of my story. If I'm asking people to share, I want to do the same. It's not my goal or expectation to make a profit. It's just that I've seen so many books lately that debate the existence of god, show a person's deconversion, and the like. I really haven't seen the book I wanted to read, so I want to write it. I have seen that in some country's admitting you're a nonbeliever in your society's chosen god can get you killed. I never thought of the issue outside of America, so this work feels more urgent to me than before. It's an international topic. Some days I wish I could take the Blue Pill! I don't have a title, just a picture in my head that I need to draw for the cover. I know it Won't be a debate book, it won't be a collection of deconversion stories (though I find them fascinating-when you're first coming to terms with your nonbelief, you absorb these stories like a sponge). It won't be a boring read, that's for sure. I want it to show the many faces of nonbelievers, not just cultural, but if a believer picks it up, it will show that these people are all around them - teachers, neighbors, co-workers, family, friends - and many feel they must be in the closet still (like me, I can't handle being homeless twice in 18 months!). It won't be written with anger or the us vs. them mentality. I'm sure if I took every participant and included it in the book, it would be millions of pages long.

 

By the way, does anyone else get those odd feelings of being trapped in a movie like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" when looking around at people praising god (the guy in the tornado on CNN said god was holding his leg...saving his life. So what about those other 50 people's broken bodies? God always gets his 'out' here....it's in his Plan..we just don't understand his wondrous ways. mmmmkay). I've had a few witchhunt nightmares where the people have torch flames looking for nonbelievers (like in many Simpsons episodes). Or did the movie Frailty or Carrie scare you deeply, not for the horror aspects, but the religious ones?

 

I also wonder what Dr. Valerie Tarico (or any psych) would say about the effects of programming small children to believe in something they have no concept of. It's obviously damaging to the reasoning processes of the brain.

 

Oh, you can request a questionnaire by emailing me. It's a Word document. If you're not interested in it, just delete it. At this time, there is no deadline for submitting it. I think the harder part will be getting participants from other countries who feel threatened physically by not believing. I want to write so much more, but your eyes are probably already tired, and I'm limited on time. Thank you.

I am in the process of writing 2 books. One a fictional book and the other is just my thoughts.

 

As for my experiences written in a book? No. A book needs a good ending, and I'm only 27 ;)

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I am also interested in the questionnaire. Just send me a PM and I'll get you my contact info.

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Go ahead and send me one, if you're still doing this. I'll gladfully fill it out.

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Go ahead and send me one, if you're still doing this. I'll gladfully fill it out.

And me as well.. spinningsquares@hotmail.com

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Kiwi, I'm trying to write my own book about my experiences, but I don't see any harm answering questions that might be in another book. My problem is, once I finish my book, if I ever do, and manage to get it published, that will probably be when my relatives find out and all hell will break out then. Oh well... our ancestors were in Peducah KY when all hell broke in the 1860s. Won't be much different, I'm sure, except the division will be different.

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Guest albertawildrose

I contacted Ex-Christian (I think Dave) before posting this. I'm looking for people interested in answering a short questionnaire about experiences/feelings of the nonbeliever. Anonymous participants are welcome.

 

I stumbled upon this site a few months ago (and posted a few comments) while feeling desperate about being a nonbeliever. I honestly didn't realize I was atheist because I thought I had to be able to prove the nonexistence of god or something! I started to realize that if I didn't believe in one god, I wasn't gonna believe in any of the others! Also, I grew up being exposed only to the stereotypical atheist in the news....the angry atheist trying to sue god or remove the word god from human speech! :D I realize I have plenty reasons to be angry...like the loss of years of natural mental evolution due to religious 'retarding' (don't take that phrase negatively, as I have a son with many special needs). I was programmed to believe in the literal interpretation of the bible by a non-denominational church/family. I had questions that couldn't be answered. Eventually, they say don't question god ...or our pea pebble-sized brains can't understand it all or something lame. A few years ago, my son brought me back a coloring page from Sunday school (my mom had taken him). Since I tend to see things through child eyes, I was horrified to see a man on a horse with the captioning "Herod's soldiers kill the babies in Bethlehem". It was like I took the Red pill in the Matrix. I was like What the fuck! This is NOT harmless. I was raised in a home with no choices. I was raised to believe that if you DON'T believe, don't stop others from doing so. Funny that freedom from slavery and freedom for women were fought for in the US, but parents still don't allow personal religious choice in their homes. As a kid I'd hear verses like "as for me and my house, we will serve the lord" when protesting church attendance. I wanted to raise my kids to arrive at their own conclusions without my input. My son began to ask me (at this time, he was almost 5) if I believed in god. I would dodge the question by saying I can't prove he exists and can't prove he doesn't, and you have to make up your own mind about it. I also told him it's not something you have to decide as a little kid. After a few weeks of him asking me, I said, "I don't want you to believe something just because your mommy does, so that's why I don't say. Why do you keep asking me this?" He put his hand up to his mouth, though no one was around and whispered, "Because I don't believe in god....I believe people made him up". It was stunning to hear his simple reasoning, but it was also a relief. I felt we could just talk and be ourselves about it at home. He's now almost 8 and I have to remind him that people aren't always so nice once they find out about your beliefs, or lack thereof. He has had a few talks about it with teachers at school, mostly a teacher talking about god and the little guy asking, "what if we don't believe in god". And he's had some ultra-conservative teachers. I don't want him singled out or ostracized, but so far it's been okay.

 

I gather information for this book in secret. My story is long and complex like everyone else's, I guess. Long story short, I ended up back home with mum (religious) due to my ex-partner deciding it was easier to pick up a new gf in AA/NA than to kick the habits. Almost a year ago, his habits caused him to lose almost 2 limbs....honest, it wasn't me I didn't do it (due to privacy concerns, I'm willing to answer that one privately!). My son's medical issues have made it near impossible to work as a single mom (gotta love seeing those bumper stickers that say "I pay taxes so that those on welfare don't have to"). I haven't given up though. I have taken classes whenever possible. I can almost build a computer blindfolded. I've got a brain and want desperately to use it. But it's hard to get or keep employment when your son has had more surgeries and hospitalizations than years he's been alive. But I see my goals (I have many), and the path there is getting clearer. With the internet age, more work/business can be done at home. I consider being dumped and homeless (we had a nice home) the best thing that ever happened to me. It's just too bad that it took this long to contact my real self! That is just a little bit of my story. If I'm asking people to share, I want to do the same. It's not my goal or expectation to make a profit. It's just that I've seen so many books lately that debate the existence of god, show a person's deconversion, and the like. I really haven't seen the book I wanted to read, so I want to write it. I have seen that in some country's admitting you're a nonbeliever in your society's chosen god can get you killed. I never thought of the issue outside of America, so this work feels more urgent to me than before. It's an international topic. Some days I wish I could take the Blue Pill! I don't have a title, just a picture in my head that I need to draw for the cover. I know it Won't be a debate book, it won't be a collection of deconversion stories (though I find them fascinating-when you're first coming to terms with your nonbelief, you absorb these stories like a sponge). It won't be a boring read, that's for sure. I want it to show the many faces of nonbelievers, not just cultural, but if a believer picks it up, it will show that these people are all around them - teachers, neighbors, co-workers, family, friends - and many feel they must be in the closet still (like me, I can't handle being homeless twice in 18 months!). It won't be written with anger or the us vs. them mentality. I'm sure if I took every participant and included it in the book, it would be millions of pages long.

 

By the way, does anyone else get those odd feelings of being trapped in a movie like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" when looking around at people praising god (the guy in the tornado on CNN said god was holding his leg...saving his life. So what about those other 50 people's broken bodies? God always gets his 'out' here....it's in his Plan..we just don't understand his wondrous ways. mmmmkay). I've had a few witchhunt nightmares where the people have torch flames looking for nonbelievers (like in many Simpsons episodes). Or did the movie Frailty or Carrie scare you deeply, not for the horror aspects, but the religious ones?

 

I also wonder what Dr. Valerie Tarico (or any psych) would say about the effects of programming small children to believe in something they have no concept of. It's obviously damaging to the reasoning processes of the brain.

 

Oh, you can request a questionnaire by emailing me. It's a Word document. If you're not interested in it, just delete it. At this time, there is no deadline for submitting it. I think the harder part will be getting participants from other countries who feel threatened physically by not believing. I want to write so much more, but your eyes are probably already tired, and I'm limited on time. Thank you.

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Guest albertawildrose

Hello. i was reading your post here.. i truly believe it is important to write ones thoughts down. i have journaled for years. the only way i stayed sane while i was within the Holdeman Mennonite society i was raised in. i left in 1994 to find my freedom..

i have written a book called -A World withing a World- which has recieved amazing positive feedback. it was written as a healing and then i decided to publish it. it took me almost four years to write as i wanted it to be acurate and thought provoking as well.

if anyone is interested e-mail me,, slbukkems@hotmail.com or look up this link

 

http://www.countymarket.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1585910

 

Thank you ..

albertawildrose

 

Shirleylee

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I started writing a book about my life, but I don't explain things in great detail, so the chapters would be short.

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Well if you're still doing this I would gladly fill out any questionnaire you have. Just PM the details.

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One of my experiences could be a funny chapter in the book. My family were foursquare church members, a fundementalist group that believe in healing and speaking in tongues. I was a midlife, oops, maybe it's menopause..no it's a baby child. My siblings had to endure the pentecostal beliefs as children, but I was spared all that until my sister died when I was 10 years old. She was 26 and had 3 very young children. She was killed in a head-on collision with a drunken driver coming home from the hospital as my father had serious surgery that day. The hospital contacted clergy to deal with my mother, who was the first person to come upon the accident. I am sure my mother was out of her mind with grief. My parents started attending the foursquare church and brought me along. Up until then I had never set foot in a church and had no ideas about any of it. I was whisked away to childrens church and I enjoyed singing the new songs and listening to the stories and everyone was so friendly. The pastor of the church came in at the end and asked if anyone here had not been saved. I raised my hand. I figured I had never had a near drowning or had my life saved after an accident. I was pretty innocent. Well, they jumped all over that and stated shouting and dancing and raising their hands to the sky. Some people were speaking in tongues and the pastor came to me and started shouting questions at me. I answered the first couple correctly. Then I gave the incorrect answer and the entire room fell silent and their mouths fell open. At that point I changed my answer and mentally decided never to speak up in church again. They were pleased I changed my answer, a lot of people were touching me and praising god and the speaking in tongues began again. I was so happy to get the hell out of childrens church back to the safety of my parents in regular church. I remember slinking down in the pew trying to be invisible when the pastor told the congregation that a youth had been saved in childrens church. I remember trying to find a spot under the pew to hide, but i was commanded to stand and then there were praise the lord and speaking in tongues and the whole lot of them felt they had to touch me I guess. It was all very uncomfortable for me and I remember my parents looking at me with disbelief. I felt some guilt after that when I learned what being saved really meant. We attended that church for about 4 years before my parents sort of began living their lives again and church fell to the wayside. I was a total failure at church. Couldn't memorize my verses. Didn't understand them anyway. We had contests in looking up scripture in our bibles and I never, ever won. All of the children in the youth group were working hard in being faithful and wanting to be filled with the spirit and speak in tongues. They spoke heavily of the end of time, the rapture and what not and I just had a hard time swallowing all of it. I remember a time when they had a faith healer at the service and I think maybe it was benny hinn. It was definetely his style, with people falling down and looking like they were having seizures. I was perfectly fine, but got dragged along to be healed and I didn't fall down. So he smacked my forehead again and I didn't fall. The third time I laid down because I really feared the guy would get mad and knock me out. I don't think I ever really got religion, although I did try, it just never seemed real to me. I'm so glad I don't have to pretend and I'm glad I didn't subject my children to all that.

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I realize this is a necro bump so to speak, but I would gladly fill out any questionnaires if you care to send them to me and this is still an ongoing project.

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Yeah me too, and/or keep us posted as to when the book is finished and how we can get it.

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Guest Babylonian Dream

I can identify with that kid, at age 5 I started to question, but for some reason eventually it got to me. Maybe my hitting my growth spur, and being less rational made me more susceptable, because as soon as puberty passed, I doubted again, that time religion was on its way out for me. My long term memory is too good, yet my short term memory is average, why? lol.

 

I actually like the idea of writing a testimony in a book, it can really help people. Not just nonbelievers and exbelievers, but those who are believers to see beyond the indoctrinated lies spread about us.

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I would be willing to fill out a survey for you as long as you do not mind people who have moved to different faiths. Can you PM me the details?

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If you still need someone to fill out the survey, pls. pm me. I am deconverted. I am using Chinese wisdom to guide my life.

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I'm writing it into a book, but changing the names to protect the guilty.

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so i was just wondering if the book was finished? and how are you and your son doing?? If you need more examples I would be more than willing to share my thoughts on being an ex christian.

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Yes please.

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Sure why not. I think my input would be good since I am in a demographic that tends to be religious and would be something a bit out of the ordinary.

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Yes. It sounds interesting. I'll send you my email address on PM. bill

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Yes, send me the questionnaire.  Word is fine for me, but if rich text is easier that is also quite acceptable.  Do NOT sent it in a Microsoft Works format as my computer hates those and absolutely refuses to speak to them.

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