Internet Jesus Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 My father is a pastor for the SDA church. Like most preaching men he likes the smell of his own breath and the sound of his own voice. I will never forget one sabbath when the discussion was the beauty of heaven. He stood at the pulpit and said he thought heaven would be like a literal eternal orgasm. I can hear Freud scratching at the lid of his coffin right now. If we've modeled god after our fathers then it stands to reason that heaven would be an eternal orgasm, or, eternal procreation. What a masculine idea. may your father wish your jism for eternity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 For sure Hell blows. But I don't think I've ever really liked any of the concepts of "heaven" typically presented. This is probably the strangest one yet, I dunno I think I would want a little more out of heaven. Tsk some people have no imagination. For that matter if it is an eternal orgasm, wouldn't you just get used to it eventually? Or do we have to add that there is no sensory acclimatization in heaven too? As far as I know heaven is hardly described in the Bible, and what descriptions there are put forth a rather earthly sounding eternity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I think that is a profound view of heaven and that the guy is a fine mammal. Go mammals! Go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "And they shall all walk on streets of spooge"? Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "And they shall all walk on streets of spooge"? Nice. Maybe it's gold AND spooge. After all, there's nothing like an abundance of rare, valuable metals and man seed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "And they shall all walk on streets of spooge"? Nice. Maybe it's gold AND spooge. After all, there's nothing like an abundance of rare, valuable metals and man seed. Precious bodily fluids? Liquid gold? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "And they shall all walk on streets of spooge"? Nice. Maybe it's gold AND spooge. After all, there's nothing like an abundance of rare, valuable metals and man seed. Precious bodily fluids? Liquid gold? Well I sort of had a picture of gold streets with a bit of spooge on them. But hey, it's heaven. How can we encompass the bliss that may be found there? On a more serious note though... A woman once volunteered to me that sin was that which dirsupted community. And heaven is supposed to be the complete absence of sin right? So then heaven is supposed to be perfect cummunion, right? Internet Jesus spoke of Freud. It makes me think that this is kind of like a submersion into the Id. Other becomes all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "And the lion shall go down on the lamb" Does that thought excite you LR? Enough to accept Jesus as your personal savior? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "And the lion shall go down on the lamb" Does that thought excite you LR? Enough to accept Jesus as your personal savior? Yeah man, I am excited! Well, what's to be done when in the course of human events the very concept of Jesus has become disruptive of community? And please leave my farm animals out of this! They are of no concern to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Jesus loves you long time. I had wondered if Mel's "Passion of the Christ" would have been quite as popular had he not had a hunky Jesus. Instead of James Caviezel, Mel would have cast Dustin Diamond as Jesus. I wonder if it would have had the same draw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Well, what's to be done when in the course of human events the very concept of Jesus has become disruptive of community? Iconoclasm! Break the icons. Of course, doesn't this photo of the Lord here, make you think the preacher man is right and heaven is one huge orgasm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "Which two of you shall please your Lord today? All four, no... please!" It's good to be king. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 "Which two of you shall please your Lord today? All four, no... please!" It's good to be king. Hail to the King baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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