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Guest Zenislev

Hey guys, I apologize for not responding sooner. As I said earlier, I really can't access this site until I come home, and I just came home for a few days. Again, I don't really have time for any in depth response (I wish I could convey how busy I am working almost full time, going to college, and doing all of the ministry requirements at the college -_-), but I felt that I should at least stop buy and let you all know how things are going. I've talked to some of my Christian friends, and their responses are what I expected. "Just believe", "You have to have faith like a child", "If you read about evolution then God won't bless your lack of faith", etc. It's such a paradox. So God won't rescue me from my unbelief because I'm doubting? So no matter how much I pray to Him to help me, He won't help because I'm doubting. WHICH IS THE PROBLEM I NEED HELP WITH... Anyway, it's just so frustrating. I came so close to just giving up and quitting the Bible college, but I want to at least hold out for the rest of this semester. I'm becoming fairly convinced that evolution is true, but I am still struggling with some things. There is really very little time for me to think about this whole thing, let alone read up about things, but when I do my faith is not helped in the least... My biggest question is why does all of the evidence support evolution? Why? The only explanation is that Satan is working through scientists to produce this big lie, yadda yadda yadda. Why does the fossil record support evolution entirely? Why should everything have to be explained away in a slapdash sort of manner? "Well God could have made the fossils fit like they did so that people would be tempted to believe evolution and their faith would be tried!"

 

I'm tired of it... This is all so taxing on me, and I'm fighting off so much depression and immense loneliness. I'm so scared... I'm still hanging on though. It's weird, what motivates me is not God anymore, it's finding out what is real, what is the truth. I can't give up, because I have to know... If evolution is true, then I would gladly go through this ordeal many times over just to find that out. I won't live a lie, and I'm not going to stop until I find out what is real. I feel like there's no one there for me, like when I bring up this question to my friends that they shun me. One of my closest friends argued with me like I wasn't even a Christian when I brought this up, like we weren't friends at all... It is relieving to hear that there are others like me that have gone through similar trials, and I thank you all for your responses. Oh man I wish I could just vent some more and write down everything I'm thinking, but I have to head back shortly. Expect to hear from me next in about a month and a half or so. Goodbye for now =)

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It's weird, what motivates me is not God anymore, it's finding out what is real, what is the truth. I can't give up, because I have to know...

That's the right attitude. That's honesty towards oneself. Try to find the truth, regardless of where it might lead you.

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My biggest question is why does all of the evidence support evolution? Why? The only explanation is that Satan is working through scientists to produce this big lie, yadda yadda yadda. Why does the fossil record support evolution entirely? Why should everything have to be explained away in a slapdash sort of manner? "Well God could have made the fossils fit like they did so that people would be tempted to believe evolution and their faith would be tried!"

This may seem overly simplistic, but the reason the fossil record supports the theory of evolution, is because the theory of evolution is based on observable facts and it predicts the fossil record. It's not a faith based sort of thing, starting with some supposed divine revelation, but with observation. From that observation comes an explanation. From that explanation comes a prediction of what we should expect to find that supports that explanation. From the subsequent evidence comes confirmation of the explanation.

 

That's the difference between science and faith. Faith starts with presumption without evidence, confirmed only be the intensity of belief. When predictions fail to confirm the presumption, then faith seeks explanation for why evidence doesn't support that presumption. Hence why your friends are so utterly out of touch with rationality in their excuses for the failure to find confirmation.

 

To me that isn't faith at all. The real problem with your Christian environment is that they have based their entire faith on sand. The only way for their beliefs in God to survive in any fashion would entail and entire paradigm shift. They can't do that as it would require an entirely different mindset and notion about their beliefs. So instead they will kick against the pricks until they have no excuses left, and then they are beyond faith. They worship their beliefs, not God or truth. You're on the only road you can be at this time.

 

You've got support here as you work through this.

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  • 7 months later...
Guest Zenislev

Hello again; I apologize to everyone for not responding to this thread in such a long time. This past year has been a difficult one, and I didn't mean to just forget about you all. Anyway, I figured I would give you all an update on my situation, in case anyone from like 6 months ago when I posted this is still here. I discovered that the Earth REALLY IS 6000 years old--just kidding. What really happened is that I smuggled a huge amount of material about evolution and the Bible to read into the dorms (which would have gotten me in trouble by the staff, comically. Ya it was a pretty strict bible college).

 

I read various articles and arguments about it all, during whatever spare time I could find. And eventually, I found what I was looking for, the final straw upon the poor heavy laden camel's back. Specifically, it was this page that did it for me. I had no idea that such a solid piece of evidence existed... I really wish I had been more of a skeptic BEFORE I got into the whole Bible college mess. But it doesn't matter... I feel so great now, so relieved of the burden I had carried for so long. I feel like I'm starting a new life, like I've been freed from a prison. My 'soul' feels so complete in surviving this ordeal, and finding the truth. I've found so much respect for myself as a human being for making it through all of this and not giving in when things seemed unbearable.

 

It's been a strange transition from being a devout Christian to being something of an atheist (I guess that's to be expected), but I'm making progress and life just feels great. What's funny is that life doesn't seem hopeless, like I thought not believing in God would be. It actually seems more beautiful. To think that were are not simply drones of some bumbling invisible creature, but rather that we can be what we set out to make ourselves to be, is a wonderful thing. Anyway, I've ranted enough, but I thought I should come back to this thread, even after so long. I thank you all for your input, it was a great help to me. I'll be able to respond to you all now too because I finally got out of that Bible college :D. Anywho I'm off to bed for now, so long

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Hey, welcome back :)

 

so what are your plans now that you are out of bible college?

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To think that were are not simply drones of some bumbling invisible creature, but rather that we can be what we set out to make ourselves to be, is a wonderful thing.

 

Those wise words of yours should be stamped on everyone's brain at birth and reinforced throughout our entire lives!

 

Congratulations on escaping!

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It's been a strange transition from being a devout Christian to being something of an atheist (I guess that's to be expected), but I'm making progress and life just feels great. What's funny is that life doesn't seem hopeless, like I thought not believing in God would be. It actually seems more beautiful. To think that were are not simply drones of some bumbling invisible creature, but rather that we can be what we set out to make ourselves to be, is a wonderful thing. Anyway, I've ranted enough, but I thought I should come back to this thread, even after so long. I thank you all for your input, it was a great help to me. I'll be able to respond to you all now too because I finally got out of that Bible college :D. Anywho I'm off to bed for now, so long

:HappyCry: Seriously, that's beautiful.

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Guest Zenislev

Thanks for the encouragement, it's good to hear from you all. I'm just glad the whole ordeal is over. I don't have any resentment or hatred for the church or my religious peers.. They were sincere at least. So I don't really feel the need to vent or anything. I'm just happy to be alive, to have this all dealt with. I actually plan to get a degree in biology, because I really feel passionate about learning about life and dispelling the ignorance that exists concerning evolution and creationism and all of that. I'm enrolled in a state university and I'll start attending it this upcoming spring semester. I'm very excited about it :D. Hope you all have a happy halloween

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What's funny is that life doesn't seem hopeless, like I thought not believing in God would be. It actually seems more beautiful. To think that were are not simply drones of some bumbling invisible creature, but rather that we can be what we set out to make ourselves to be, is a wonderful thing.

That's beautiful, Zenislev. I'm very happy for you. I'm also glad to hear that you've found an interest in biology. That should provide a lifetime of enjoyment and surprises. Good luck to you, my friend.

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